Saving Toby

by Suzanne McKenna Link

  Lowering her eyes as if she were embarrassed, she reached behind me to the table and grabbed something. Picking up my hand, she pressed a small packet into my palm. Without looking at it, I felt the plastic square with the circular ridge and knew it was a rubber. I exhaled slowly and smiled. My girl was prepared.

  With our mouths locked together in a fiery kiss, I drew her down onto the oversized, cushioned lounger with me. Draping my body over hers, I molded my lips to the warm, soft skin of her neck. She tasted like the salty night air. Slowly, I planted heavy, wet kisses along the column of her throat working my way back up to her lips again. Our kisses and touches were slow, blissfully agonizing, but each movement had an unspoken intent and purpose. This time, we both knew where it was going.

  I teased her, sliding my hands over her curves, drawing soft gasps from her lips. Her response only excited me more. I tried to tug her panties down, but she got skittish and grabbed for my hands.

  “I can work around these,” I whispered, letting her hold my hands still for a second. Slipping a finger under the band of her sexy panties, I snapped the elastic against her hip. “But it would be easier if they came off.”

  “I know,” she bit her lip. “I’m a little scared.”

  “Trust me?”

  Her face turned serious as she stared into my eyes. “Yes. With everything I have.”

  My heart did an almost painful somersault in my chest. I didn’t know how we’d come this far, how she had such faith in me, but I knew I would take care of her as long as she let me.

  “I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

  Claudia released her grip on my hands and allowed me to peel her underwear off. I tossed them to the ground next to my shirt and kneeled between her thighs. Nuzzling her belly, I slowly kissed her, moving downwards, aiming to get between her legs and taste her. As my mouth neared her hips, her body tightened, and she fisted my hair.

  “No, no,” she pleaded. “I’m not ready for that.”

  “Okay, okay,” I replied calmly. I knew she’d like it, but we’d hold off on that until next time. Tonight, I would not overwhelm her.

  We kissed and touched until we were both shaking. I grabbed the condom package and ripped it open with my teeth. Picking up her hand, I pressed it into her palm. Shifting so I was next to her, I whispered, “Put it on me.”

  Biting her lip, she concentrated on rolling the rubber down over me. “Like this?”

  “Yeah,” I breathed raggedly. Her hands touching me with such intent felt so good.

  “Mmm, I just installed my first condom.” With a sexy, charged expression, she lay back down.

  I gazed down over her and shook my head. “Claude, do you have any idea how freaking beautiful you are?”

  “No, tell me.”

  “Oh, baby, you’re gorgeous. Your hair, your face, and damn, your body… A dream. My dream.”

  With my insides in a complete twist, I pressed the length of my hardness against her sex and rubbed along her slickness. The feeling was incredible, and we both moaned. As the friction grew more intense, she clambered underneath me. Not able to hold off any longer, I began to push inside her.

  She drew a sharp intake of breath and gripped my shoulders tightly. Fighting off my impatience to move more deeply into her, I made myself stay still so she could adjust to the feel of me inside her. Our bond momentarily sapped my energy, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Holy shit. Nirvana.

  I held myself up on my forearms, straining to keep my head as her visceral white hot heat continued to blissfully sear me.

  “You okay?”

  “I think so. Yes,” she blinked, her eyes burning into mine.

  Her face was so expressive—her eyes full of wonder and emotion. I felt humbled, like I needed to tell her something, anything.

  “Claudia, you feel so amazing.” My voice cracked. I felt near losing it, overcome with a rush of unexpected emotion. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  The words seemed so stupidly formal, but they were all I had.

  Holding my gaze, she said softly, “No, thank you.” And then, stroking my face, she whispered, “This is us. Us together, in love,” before she lifted her mouth to mine.

  I began to rock against her in careful strokes, watching her for cues. Closing her eyes, she wound her arms around my neck and gave her body over to me. She was mine now.

  Caught up in the moment, I pressed into her harder and faster. She gasped, a strangled cry of pain, and I stopped.

  I kissed her temple.

  “Sorry, baby, sorry.” Berating myself, I attempted to pull back, but her fingers dug into my back, urging me to stay.

  “I’m okay. Don’t stop. Just love me.”

  My head spun. “Yes,” I whispered, dipping my mouth to hers. Our tongues danced during a hot, endless kiss. I didn’t want to leave this place—ever. I wanted to stay in the perfect warmth of her body, but the urge to finish was strong. With my control slipping, I fought the rush off until she arched her back and murmured my name in a breathless whisper. Lost in the silkiness of her body and the honeyed sound of her voice, I had no choice but to let go. Gasping, I bore down upon her and came so hard my whole body shuddered. With a sigh of pleasure, Claudia clamped her trembling body around me as I collapsed atop her.

  We lay still and quiet for a few moments as we caught our breaths. She stroked my back gently, between my shoulder blades, in a way I’d come to know as her caress. I burrowed my face into her hair.

  “Baby, that was so good.” I’d somehow always known being with her, even with her inexperience, would be totally different from others I’d been with before. I felt her chest contract with a sigh, and I shifted my weight to see her face.

  Propped up on my elbow, I asked, “Was it okay for you?”

  Her eyes were bright. Laying a hand across my cheek gently, she nodded her head, but her lack of words concerned me.

  “I was a little nervous. I didn’t want to hurt you. Next time, it’ll feel better. A whole lot better,” I hurried to explain.

  She pressed a finger to my mouth.

  “Stop. Believe me, it was perfect, really,” she said and grinned, shyly. “I liked watching you get so excited.”

  I laughed and kissed her face. “I only wish I could explain how good it felt for me,” I said, feeling insanely happy.

  “Toby…” she started to say, then got quiet.

  I twirled a strand of her hair around my finger. “What, baby?”

  She looked up at me, and suddenly her eyes filled with tears. Stroking my cheek with a shaky hand, she whispered, “I love you.”

  For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. My lungs filled with fiberglass. Even though I sensed this was coming, and I was both amazed and charged that she felt that way towards me, I also knew she would expect me to say the words back to her.

  “Toby, please don’t leave me hanging here all by myself,” she pinned me with her watery eyes. “I just told you I loved you. Please tell me you feel the same way.”

  I grew hot and then cold, and opening my mouth, I hoped a convincing “I love you” would fall off my tongue. But, nada.

  Instead, I smiled lamely at her. “Of course, I do.”

  I thought she was satisfied with that until I inadvertently tasted the salty wetness of tears on her cheek. With a tight sob, she began to cry, really cry. I’d totally bailed on the love thing, and now our night was crashing down around us.

  “Claudia, please don’t cry. Don’t you know how crazy I am about you? And that being with you like this means so much to me?”

  “I do know,” she said. She ran her fingers through my hair. “I’m crying because I’m happy.”

  I heaved a sigh of relief. “Shit, if you’re crying because you’re happy, then I should be sobbing, 'cause I’m mad-happy. I just had sex with the girl of my dreams.”

  She pressed a kiss on my mouth and grinned, “No, you made love to the girl of your dreams.”

  “Yes, I did.” I could at least give her that.r />
  After we both cleaned up and straightened our clothes, I pulled her back to me and held her tightly. “Claude, I really hate that you’re leaving. Are you really, really sure you want to go?”

  She lay there quiet in my arms, and I sensed that she didn’t know what to say. We were supposed to talk about this last week, but I had been too preoccupied with Dev’s threats and dealing with Ray. A small part of me hoped that after what had happened tonight, Claudia would change her mind about going.

  She glanced back up at me, her eyes soft and thoughtful. “I know it might not sound like the best thing for us, considering where we are now, but I still want to go. I’ve never done anything for myself or been on my own. I need to do this, for me. Can you understand that?”

  I said sure, but all I really understood was that she was leaving.

  “I have to get up in a few hours. I really need to get some sleep.” Despite her words, she snuggled in close to me. “I wish you could come upstairs and sleep with me.”

  “Okay. Let’s go,” I said. Before she could respond, I got up and pulled her to her feet.

  She tipped her head to one side and eyed me. “You’d seriously risk going up to my room this late?”

  “Felicia’s at the house with Julia, and your father’s in a self-induced coma. This is the best opportunity we’ll ever have.” I blew out the candle and unzipped the netting. “I can be out before he wakes up.”

  She hesitated. “You do realize it’s just to sleep. With our eyes closed.”

  “Yes, just sleep,” I nodded, and held my hand out to her. “Do you want me to stay or not?”

  She glanced around nervously. The simple question was loaded. She risked her father finding out. But did she think staying with me was worth it? Finally, she laid her hand in mine.

  “Yes,” she nodded. I let her lead me into the house and up to her room.

  I awoke with a start, wondering where I was, but when I felt Claudia’s warm body sleeping next to me, I relaxed. I’d been in her room a couple times over the past few months, always when El Capitán wasn’t home. The first time I’d seen it, I was surprised at how much it looked like a little girl’s room, with its bright yellow walls and matching set of white furniture, the shelves full of stuffed animals and school awards. Trophies, framed certificates, and dangling medals—all with words like honor, merit and scholar inscribed on them—things she’d been awarded, for her smarts. Though the little girl theme didn’t fit the Claudia I knew, I was very impressed by all her awards, especially the photo she had of herself standing with Bill Clinton. She told me she had met him during some charity dinner, the event a fundraiser for some human rights organization she had been involved with.

  The clock on her night table said 4:28, and the first light was beginning to filter through the sky. We’d only slept for a few hours, and she’d have to get up soon to go to the airport.

  Her house had central air, and her room was cool. I pulled a blanket up over us and curled myself around her. The bed smelled like her, and now, me. Us. I inhaled deeply.

  I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Quickly releasing Claudia, I rolled as silently as I could to the edge of the bed and dropped to the floor just as the big guy tried the doorknob. I breathed a sigh of relief when the door only rattled in the doorframe and refused to open. Claudia had locked it.

  He gave the door several loud raps.

  “Claudia, time to get up,” El Capitán’s voice came from the other side. It was calm and gentle. Claudia was probably the only one he talked that way to.

  “What?” The mattress shifted as Claudia shot off the bed. She looked around, her eyes wide with worry. Motioning for me to stay down, she went to the door. Opening it, she peeked out.

  “I’m up, Dad.”

  “Okay. I’m going to make coffee. You want me to make you a cup?” he asked.

  “Yes. Thanks,” Claudia said, and closed the door as his footsteps moved away.

  I crawled up and sat on the edge of the bed, weighing my escape options.

  “Oh, God. We need to get you out of here!” she whispered urgently. Switching on the light, she flicked on her iPod speaker. The room filled with soft piano music accompanied by snare drum—a jazz song. A woman’s clear, soulful voice joined in.

  “I’ll go out the window,” I told her.

  “Romeo escaping from Juliet’s balcony?” Claudia came and stood before me, stretching her arms up, over her head. Her sleep shirt rode up exposing her belly to me. I kissed it, and she giggled.

  “Yeah, but in our version, no one dies, and I scored with Juliet.”

  She laughed and laid her hands on my shoulders. “Do I look different?”

  “You look beautiful and sexy as hell,” I answered, and whipped her around onto the bed. Her hair fanned out around her head as she gazed up at me. I could get lost in her eyes.

  She stroked my face. “No, I mean, do I look less like a virgin?”

  “It’s hard to tell,” I smirked. “I think we should do it again, just to make sure the transformation is complete.” I slid my hand between her legs. She automatically arched her hips against me as her breath hissed.

  “Oh, you’re so bad,” she panted, before she pushed my hand away. “My dad is downstairs. We’d go right to hell.”

  “I don’t care, as long as I’m with you.”

  Her eyes held mine, her expression soft. “Why?” she asked.

  I stared at her perfect face and traced a finger over the light freckles on her nose. The truth was, she deserved so much more than me, but I hoped she never realized it. If she pulled away and let go now, I would fall away, spinning without direction.

  “'Cause I feel like more when I’m with you,” I told her.

  “Ohh, you are Romeo. You said exactly the right thing,” she whispered, and, pulling my face to hers, she kissed me.

  “Claude, if you couldn’t leave, I’d stay for you.”

  The smile fell off her face. “Toby, please stop making this harder than it already is,” she pleaded. “It’s just a week. You’ll blink, and I’ll be back.”

  I sighed and rolled off her. She got up and went into the adjoining bathroom. A minute later, she came out fully dressed.

  She sat on the edge of her bed to put her sandals on. “And promise me you’ll just stay home this week. No dealing with any of the Devlin mess.”

  I told her not to worry. She joined me at her bedroom window as I pulled back the curtain and pushed the glass pane open. She said she’d call me once she hooked up with her mother, and then she touched my face and murmured, “I can’t wait until we can make love again.”

  “Wow, you’re turning into a regular little sex kitten.”

  “Meow,” she purred.

  I pulled her against me to kiss her once more. Her 'bad' kitty impersonation had me wanting to take her back to bed, but I couldn’t stay any longer. Finally, I released her and put one leg out the window. “Hurry up and come back home.”

  “I will,” she promised.

  27. Toby

  It was a tight squeeze out of her window, and we both laughed as I maneuvered myself like a contortionist to get through. Her window was above a covered porch, so I crawled out onto the roof. Moving quietly, I crossed to the edge, lowered myself over, and hanging from my arms, I dropped down onto the front lawn. No problem.

  The humidity seemed to have intensified. The warm, damp air sucked the breath from my lungs, and I immediately began to sweat. When I looked up and saw her at the window, I didn’t move. She put her hands over her heart and pointed to me. It made me feel like a giant, happy fool, and, as I jogged down the street, through the quiet, sleeping neighborhood, to where I’d discreetly parked my Jeep, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

  I had left the Jeep’s canvas top off, and the seats were damp with morning condensation. I popped in through the driver’s side, revved the engine, and started down the road.

  In a way, I was relieved that Claude would be away for the
week. There was a lot of shit going down, and I wouldn’t have to worry about her safety as I tried to ride it out.

  I hadn’t told Claudia all the details, not about the knife, or about what Ray had revealed to me. I’d called him the night Devlin had tried to mow us down with his car. I wanted to know why Dev suddenly felt so threatened.

  Over the phone, Ray was quick to spill it. “I screwed up big time, man.”

  “How?”

  “I got b-b-usted with a bag on me.” Ray stumbled over his words, more nervous than I’d ever heard him. Since it was his second drug possessions arrest, the court-appointed lawyer had recommended that he plea bargain using the information he had on Dev to get his own charges reduced. The situation was being forced to a head. Ray said a case was being built against Dev, and it would be just a matter of time before a warrant for his arrest was issued.

  “Do you honestly think he can p-pin this on you?” Ray asked. “Even if I say you, say you weren’t there?”

  “The hell if I know. But I’d rather not hang around waiting to find out,” I said. “I can’t gamble with this. I have to get the knife.”

  Ray promised to help me look for it. Between the two of us, I hoped we would get it before the case blew open and the police came for Dev. Once that happened, Dev would scramble to cover his ass, or take me down with him.

  No matter what Claudia said, her father’s privately fueled task force against me meant I couldn’t go to him for help. I was sure he’d be more than happy to let me take the rap for Velerio’s murder—just to keep me away from his little girl.

  I got in the house as quietly as possible, but Felicia was up already, sitting on the couch with Dylan asleep in her lap.

  “Wow, you sure are getting in late. Or should I say early. Lucky girl.”

  I ignored the comment.

  “Is Dylan okay?”

  “Had to feed him, but he just fell back to sleep. Would you carry him upstairs for me?”

  “Sure.” I reached down and took my sleeping nephew from her. Like a warm rag doll, he melded into my shoulder. His little baby breaths tickled my neck.