Whores

by Brendan Mullen

  CHRIS CHANEY (Martyn’s replacement): Martyn Le Noble is a great bass player, one of the best there is. I’ve heard everything he did on the Porno records and I think he’s great, an extremely accomplished, creative player.

  MARTYN LE NOBLE: I was stunned. I felt like somebody had punched me in the gut. Never saw it coming. I don’t even know if he knew he was going to fire me. Up until he got the last glass of wine, I don’t think he really knew what he was going to do. He had a bad show and it was everyone else’s fault. He wanted to kill the keyboard player. During the show he was like “I want to kill that fucker.” And I was like, “Why?” We got into a little scuffle over that. The next person was me.

  CHRIS CHANEY: I get called to do a lot of rock records, and some pop stuff. I did records with Carly Simon, I did something with Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders, a Celine Dion single even. It’s not always totally where I’m coming from, but I’m a pretty diverse player who gets called in to play the bass. I did Andrew W.K.’s record. I did the last two Rob Zombie records, The Goo Goo Dolls, Monster Magnet. I did a record for Tommy Lee’s Methods of Mayhem—that’s where I first met Perk. I did the record, and we needed a drummer to play live cuz Tommy’s the front guy. Perkins wanted to do it and Tom’s like, “Man, Perkins? Dude, that’s awesome!” One day Perk called me out of the blue and said, “Can you come do these shows in Europe with Jane’s?” And, “We’re going to do some recording.”

  Millenial family man Perry moderating at home.

  (John Eder)

  MARTYN LE NOBLE: Perry and Bob (Ezrin) replaced all my bass parts on Strays. Perry was saying everything I played sounded like shit, but then they had the new guy pretty much play exactly my parts, maybe a couple of little changes, so I guess they couldn’t have been that shitty. I went bankrupt overnight because they hadn’t been paying me. They were paying a guitar tech $1,500 a week and paying me $3,000 a month.

  PERRY FARRELL: I’m not a guy who believes in 100 percent abstinence unless you want to give a blessing. I’ve offered up certain chemicals as a sacrifice, but that’s mysticism. I still drink and smoke [marijuana]. But I moderate. I would never be drunk when I have to take care of my kid.

  MARTYN LE NOBLE: I was like, “I have two kids, I’ve been writing, recording, touring in good faith, and now you fire me, how dare you?” I never got the retroactive money they’d promised. I had to give up my house, I couldn’t pay child support so my daughter and ex-wife had to move to the East Coast and I never even got a phone call from the guy ever.

  BOB EZRIN: Let’s say they [were] pretty well drug-free [during the Strays sessions].

  CARMEN AND DAVE

  “Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease teaches how to perform a lap dance. Strippers have the best bodies; they dance all night. If you take some of those moves, combine it with some fitness, you’ll boost your self-confidence, feel sexy, and get an amazing workout.”

  FROM CARMEN’S DVD SERIES

  DAVE NAVARRO [to Alan di Perna in ’96]: I don’t feel like selling myself. I’m not really into that. It’s one thing to be in this band; it’s like a huge machine. But when it comes down to my own personal feelings, I don’t want to try and turn a buck on that.148

  BRYAN RABIN: Carmen and Dave sent out a wedding announcement with the two of them lying naked next to a headstone that said, “till death do us part” . . . they got married on camera as the finale to an MTV reality show.

  CARMEN ELECTRA: Life is not worth living unless there’s a camera around.

  JOHNNY NAVARRO: Brandt Mayfield was cutting my hair at his shop one day and he goes, “Johnny, Carmen Electra wants to meet your cousin.” I go, “Really?” He goes, “Yeah, I cut her hair and she mentioned she thought Dave Navarro was really hot. I said, ‘Really, I know his cousin.’ She said, ‘Can you set something up?’ He goes to me, ‘She’s really sweet, really nice, really down to earth. You’d be surprised. Kind of like Dave himself.’” I called Dave and said, “Carmen Electra wants to meet you.” He’s like, “Dude, I don’t think so . . . Carmen Electra? Too weird. I don’t see it happening.” At the time Carmen and Rodman were constantly in the media glare. A month goes by—my hair grows really fast—I go see Brandt again. I’m like, “Sorry to be the bearer . . . he’s kind of just not into it, dude. Doesn’t think it’s much of a fit and he’s coming out of something else anyway. I don’t think so.” Another month goes. Time for another trim. Brandt says, “Dude, Carmen really, really wants to meet your cousin. I’m telling you she’s really sweet. I’m never wrong about these things. She’s not the way she seems in public when you get close.” I felt she was aggressively pursuing Dave rather than Brandt acting on his own persistence. I told Dave, “Brandt says she’s really cool and I trust his opinion. He’s totally convinced you’ll make a good couple. You guys should at least meet.”

  Dave’s like, “Dude, remember when we heard about Shannon Doherty calling her agent to tell Eddie Vedder’s manager that she wanted to meet him?” I’m like, “Yeah?” He goes, “Remember how we thought that was kind of creepy? Shannon doesn’t know Eddie Vedder from a fucking airport stranger. All she knows is what she sees on TV and videos and she uses her Hollywood power to arrange a date. That’s kind of creepy, dude. All this chick knows [about me] is what she sees on TV. Sorry, it’s just not gonna happen.” So I go in again to see Brandt and give him the final, definitive no. More time passes—we’re at like nine months now—and Brandt does it again! He goes, “Dude, whatever . . . I know you said Dave’s not into it but Carmen still wants to meet him.” I went back again, “Dave, Carmen’s not letting go of this, she really wants to fucking meet you.” He said, “I know, dude, I just heard this from another set of friends that are friends of hers. What do I fucking do? What would we even talk about?” I go, “Dude, people that look at you and your fucking boas and shit and dressing up like a chick in gowns and things, and doing drugs and doing what you do, is that really you?” He’s like, “True, I’m not really what I look like, am I?”

  Two weeks later, me and this other dude and Dave are playing poker and there’s a call on his cell phone and he’s like, “Dude, it’s a fucking friend of Carmen’s right now and they’re all together and they want me to come down and meet her. Should I go?” “Fuck yes, what’s wrong with you?” Cool as fucking Christmas, he’s like, “You know what, I’m a little busy right now, how about tomorrow night at 9:00 at Jones, I’ll come say hi.” Like that, so fucking cold, ice cold. After he gets off the phone we’re like high-fiving and shit, “Yes! This is the shit!” He went and met her the next night with five of her friends at Jones and they’ve been together ever since. That was four years ago [as of spring 2005].

  They went to see Requiem for a Dream, not really the best first date choice of a film. They got really fast and furious and hot and heavy right away. They have this incredible relationship. He can say anything around her, do anything around her.

  They’d been together about a year when Carmen called me wanting to know what was the absolute best birthday gift she could get him. I was like this and that and this and she was like, “I was thinking a Grand National.” She’s thinking like a dope ’85-’87 Buick, and I’m shooting way down here, like a fucking cashmere sweater! I thought, fuck, this woman is playing for keeps. They had this great party for him at the Standard, they’re getting ready to go home, we’re all standing there and she goes, “Here, baby,” and the valet hands him the keys and they roll out this fucking National. The look on his face and I knew they were going to get married.

  DAVE NAVARRO: I’m looking forward to starting a family, having a child, having a stable home. I really hope so with Carmen. She has been an amazing, grounding element in my life, and is probably the most honest and caring person I’ve ever been with. Her public perception versus the way she is at home is such a night and day thing. She brings all-positive energy into my life, and I’ve changed spiritually as a result of our relationship.

  JOHNNY NAVARRO: Dave relapsed again
during 2002 and almost died. Dave and Carmen came to my family’s Thanksgiving gathering—he was completely loaded and after they leave they’re all looking at me for some fucking explanation. As ice cold as this sounds right now, I had to say. “You have to come to terms with the fact that he might not make it this time. Dave might not make it back, Dave might die.” No one wants to hear that. Somebody had to warn them that catastrophe was looking imminent. Our family went through hell. Dave has a knack of really going off the deep end. He went so far out this time even I couldn’t deal with him and I’d always been able to deal with him, no matter how crazy things got. This time, I don’t even know this guy.

  BRYAN RABIN: Dave Navarro is a gentleman absolutely devoted to Carmen. I think that their adulation of each other is probably what they’re both most concerned about right now, the creation of their image and the creation of who they are to the public. They’re so deeply in love with the way they look to each other. The most narcissistic couple I’ve seen in my life. They’re both insanely beautiful. It’s a rock ’n’ roll fairy tale. She’s the ultimate rock babe. He’s the ultimate rock star archetype. She’s larger than life, and contrary to public opinion, she is sharp as a tack, a very smart girl. And Dave’s a very smart guy.

  DAVE NAVARRO: I’m totally cynical and self-centered. I don’t care about burning children in Africa. I care about how my hair looks.149

  JOHNNY NAVARRO: Carmen had had it after a couple of months of Dave’s using. Nobody knew what to do. Finally, she gives him the ultimatum, “I stood by you for a lot of this, but if you don’t get your fucking shit together, I’m leavin’ you. I mean it.” No one had ever given Dave an ultimatum. He was like this panicky fucking child running around. He called me up and said, “Dude, I want to get clean, take me to treatment.”

  PERRY FARRELL: Life for some people is like a bad NA meeting that never stops. It’s never been my way. I mean, god bless people, if they need help they should go get help. I like to get off the subject because if you talk about coke with me too much it only makes me want to do it all the more.

  JOHNNY NAVARRO: I picked Dave up on New Year’s Eve [2002-2003], checked him in to Brockman, but first we made a little stop. Halfway there he remembers he left some dope in his house. He goes, “Dude, I’ve got to do something.” I go, “No deals, David!” He said, “If I leave that there, I won’t stay clean.” I go, “Fine, but if we go back, you have to stay at Brockman for one solid week.” He goes, “OK” so we go back and he does his fucking last fix and then I finally get him checked in. He stayed twenty-eight days. He came out and that’s it, he’s stuck ever since.

  DAVE NAVARRO: Carmen stuck by me through some really major experiences and I’m really grateful that I met her.

  JOHNNY NAVARRO: Dave also got on meds, anti-depressants, and that changed his life. It’s hard to imagine that in all these years, no one had thought to simply prescribe anti-depressants for the guy.

  MIKE STEWART: David’s everywhere now. You can’t turn on a TV channel without seeing him.

  PERRY AND ETTY

  PERRY FARRELL: My wife [Etty] says, “People are more interested in the terrible things of your life than the things that brought you joy or have done well for you.” There’s so many amazing things in my personal life, my wife and my child, but unfortunately they’re maybe not as interesting to people that are just focused on shit. We have the best time. We’re a happening family. I want to mention Etty because I love her and it bugs her that she’s a good thing in my life and people aren’t really fixated on her. But I guess that’s human nature. I tell her my ambitions now are focused on the environment and what I can do to turn the world toward hydrogen energy or alternative fuels—bigger, more adult things. My father got to see me perform a few times before he passed away. I used to whip my cock out all the time and it was always like, “Fuck the world, that’s how it goes.” So one night, there’s my dad, and it’s the first time he’s gonna see me and I’m thinking, “Am I gonna shy away from this now or am I gonna just do my thing?” And I said, “Man, I gotta do it.” So out goes my cock and I’m rockin’ out and I put on a really energetic performance, and after I get offstage, I see my dad come flying at me with a towel and he put it around me because I was sopping wet. He wasn’t trying to hide my nakedness. He was putting the towel around me because he didn’t want me to catch cold. But I’ve changed. I don’t think people would want to see me whip my dick out anymore. . . .

  DAVE NAVARRO (website posting): Sometimes things just don’t work out. [Jane’s Addiction] has broken up and rejoined roughly four times over the years. Perhaps that should shed some light as to where we are now. We really don’t know. We do know that we really gave it everything we had this time and made a really great record after many years of silence.

  STEPHEN PERKINS: Playing music with friends always came first . . . and after nearly twenty years people’s perspectives and values change. Since splitting with Jane’s, Dave and I have rediscovered and reconsolidated our childhood friendship, and we’re playing together again and writing songs every day with Steve Isaacs. I spent six years with Jane’s and six with Porno for Pyros. I spent a lot of time working with Perry . . . all I hope and pray for is that our legacy will be decided by the songs we wrote and sang together with joy and that the sound and soul of the music we created together will live on . . . long after all of us are gone. . . .

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  This book’s text was birthed in early ’03 when New York playwright-rock journalist-comedy spiel writer-author Marc Spitz (my collaborator on previous West Coast glam-punk spew) approached me about an assignment to assemble an oral history of Jane’s Addiction for a cover story for Spin, where he labors as a senior editorial staffer and columnist.

  I am therefore forever indebted to Spitz and his formidable Supreme Team colleagues at Spin: Sia Michel, Charles Aaron, Lisa Corson, Caryn Ganz and Jeanann Pannasch, with help by Anna Maria Andriotis, Andy Downing, and Amanda Petrusich. They helped shape the earliest version of this text, which originally ran in August 2003.

  My eternal groveling thanks are also due the following pop music and culture reporters/editors/publishers from whom I heisted previously published materials. You’re the glue that helps hold this book together once it passed from being an authorized project. I owe you all dins ‘n’ drinks (for two) when in L.A. at a cool C-list restaurant of your choice. To whoever I screw up and omit, you get a fancy dessert out of it, too, and as many drinks as you want.

  Laurence Livermore and Al Kowaleski (Flipside), Barney Hoskins (www.rocksbackpages.com), Sonny Harris (www.xiola.org), Dean Kuipers (Spin, L.A. Times), Alan di Perna (Guitar World), Bruce S. L. Duff (BAM), Steve Appleford (Rolling Stone, L.A. Times), Jay Babcock (L.A. Weekly, Arthur), Simon Reynolds (Melody Maker [U.K.], New York Times), Mat Snow (Q), Neil Strauss (Regan Books, New York Times), Bruce Kalberg (No Mag), Bill Crandall (BAM, Rolling Stone), Andrew Wallenstein (The Forward, Hollywood Reporter), Dave Navarro (Regan Books), Karen Schoemer (Newsweek), Roy Trakin (BAM, HITS magazines), Joe Gore (Guitar Player magazine), Steve Hochman (L.A. Times), Jeff Spurrier (L.A. Times), Dee McLaughlin (www.virginmega.com), Mike Ross (Edmonton Sun), Brian Warner/Marilyn Manson (Regan Books), Darby (Ben Is Dead), Leon Bing (L.A. Weekly).

  My chief concern was assembling a rock bio that’s entertaining as well as informative. Dave: I kept the ransacking of your book down to a legal minimum. I needed your pearls of wisdom to keep the story bumpin’ along. So dude, in return, let me now shamelessly plug your book, as required by your publisher:

  Don’t Try This at Home (New York: ReganBooks/Harper Collins, 2004).

  And here’s the ISBN, 0-06-039368-8, also required by your publisher.

  Peace. Out.

  APRIL 2005

  NOTES

  1 Steve Appleford, “Get Happy! Perry Farrell Finds Nirvana on the Way to Lollapalooza ’95 and the New LP,” Rolling Stone, 8.24.95.

  2 Jay Babcock, “Perry Farrell’s Musical Mystery Tour: The He
donist at 42,” L.A. Weekly cover 9.7.01.

  3 Mat Snow, “Jane’s Addiction,” Q magazine, 6.95.

  4 Ibid.

  5 Bruce Kalberg, No Mag (defunct artzine), circa Fall 1984.

  6 Babcock.

  7 Bill Crandall, “Jane’s Addiction’s SNL Appearance Will Mark the Band’s Largest Ever Audience,” BAM, #522, 11.21.97.

  8 Excerpted from Dave Navarro and Neil Strauss, Don’t Try This at Home (New York: Regan Books/HarperCollins, 2004).

  9 Marc Spitz, “Jane’s Addiction: The Dance of Decadence. 18 Years of Crazy Sex, Hard Drugs, Lollapalooza, Drama & Visionary Music,” Spin cover, 8.03, pp 68-84.

  10 Ibid.

  11 Ibid.

  12 Ibid.

  13 Ibid.

  14 Navarro and Strauss.

  15 Ibid.

  16 Ibid.

  17 Alan di Perna, “Anarchy in the USA,” Guitar World, circa 11.91.

  18 Navarro and Strauss.