Undertow: A Forbidden Love College Sports Romance (Rising Tides Book 1)

by Kaia Knight

  “Have you talked to your dad since you left?”

  “He’s tried to email me a few times... I just haven’t wanted to talk. I don’t know if I’m ready yet.” Her voice grew softer. “What about your dad?

  “Other than seeing him today at the meet, we haven’t talked since I left Eugene.”

  Kailani groaned and put her hands over her face, muffling her voice. “Gabe. What are we going to do? I just quit and told your dad he was the reason the team was falling apart. Might make for some awkward family dinners.”

  “Don’t worry, they were already awkward. How about we just skip the hypothetical dinner?”

  She chuckled and shifted next to him, and the deck swayed gently on the water. A few moments later, he heard the answering splashes as the waves met the shore with a whooshing hum.

  “I wonder what the team’s doing right now. They’re probably all pissed with me.”

  “Actually, you’re probably their new hero. You’re the only one who stood up to my dad with all the messed-up stuff about scholarships.” He looked at her in concern. “That reminds me. What are you going to do without the swim team, the scholarship? I know that’s probably stressing you out right now.”

  Kailani did not answer immediately, but she rolled towards him and wrapped a knee over his legs and pulled the blanket up higher. “You know what? I think I’ll be okay. Working on the Fall Festival taught me that I really can do anything. I’m capable of fending for myself. At least I still have my internship. I can live without my scholarship…I’ll just take on a few jobs, maybe get a loan. I’m waiting to hear back from another scholarship, so we’ll see...” A smile grew in her voice. “And I think I’m going to join the triathlon team. I’ve loved every second with them, which is more than I can say about the swim team. Either way, I’ll figure it out. What about you, what are you going to do?”

  “I dunno,” Gabriel said, “I was thinking about becoming the tri team assistant coach…”

  Kailani rolled fully on top of him, pinning him in place. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  He laughed at the playful gleam in her eyes, and a wave of desire flooded through him as the weight of her hips held him captive. He pulled her closer and their lips met; first hesitantly, then deepening as their hands wandered.

  She broke away from his lips, pulling back to look at him. “You didn’t actually answer my question.” Her finger traced along his chest and she averted her eyes. “You have your rescue diving job and a home here…so you’re staying, right?”

  He heard the question that burned behind her words. What about us? “I’m not sure. I worked for years to be a rescue diver, dreamed of being a hermit out here on the coast. But now that I’m here…I’m realizing there’s something missing.”

  Kailani nodded in understanding and her mouth twisted into a smile. “Coach Chantall?”

  “You caught me, that’s it.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m not sure how it’s all going to work out, honestly. But all I know is I’m happy right here. You’re with me, and that’s the first thing that’s felt right in my life in a long time.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, tugging her towards him again. “I think I was meant to run into you that day on the mountain when we first met.”

  “Well, I could’ve settled for something a little more understated than drowning.” She laughed, but her expression was tender as she gazed at him. “But you’re right. It’s like I had been running away my whole life, and it took you shoving me off a cliff to wake me up.”

  “I did not shove—”

  She smiled and silenced his protests with a swift kiss. “I’m kidding. I’ve never felt like this before. Even from the first day, it was like I knew you were what I came all this way to find.”

  As her eyes met his once more, the weight of her admission tethered them together. His heart hammered in his chest as the next words spilled out of him. “I love you.”

  She bit down on the trembling of her lips, and her hands gripped his shirt as she brought her mouth to his. Gabriel slowly trailed his hands under the hem of her sweatshirt, inching it up as their kiss stoked his desire. Kailani broke away, sitting up and pulling her layers over her head and tossing them aside on the dock.

  Gabriel’s mouth fell open when she began to roll her hips against his arousal, the moonlight bathing the curves of her skin in its glow. She leaned forward and her lips met his urgently as she grinded against him, tantalizingly slow. Gabriel groaned and reached for her waist, tugging her leggings down over her hips. He slid his hand between her legs, kissing her neck as she responded to his touch with hitched breaths. Her knees gripped tighter around his waist, and he felt her stiffen as he kneaded his thumb against her. Kailani clapped a hand over her mouth as her breath gave way to mounting moans. He tugged her hand away.

  “We’re alone—I want to hear you.” He kissed the hollow of her throat as she convulsed, a shudder passing through her.

  “Oh, Gabe,” she cried, her voice rising higher. She pushed herself upright, rising to her knees as she unclasped his belt and zipper, releasing him, stroking his length as her gaze devoured him.

  He gripped her hips as she held him, easing herself down with unbearable restraint. An overwhelming burst of longing filled him, and he thrust up to meet her with urgency. She gasped, her eyes closing as she folded forward against his chest once more. As their lips met, Gabriel slowed the churning of his hips as he pulled the blanket to her shoulders, trying to stretch time and slow down the moment.

  Their movements were gentle but wild as the warmth of their breath and murmurings filled the air around them under the starry night.

  And in the wake of her last cry in the emptiness of the night, Gabriel heard the words he had so longed to hear.

  “I love you too.”

  Gabriel paused at the office door in the natatorium, his hand hovering over the door handle. He held his breath and rehearsed his lines one last time, steeling himself for the inevitable pushback. For the first time in the ten years his dad had coached there, he lifted his fist and knocked.

  “Come in,” called a muffled voice.

  Gabriel opened the door and froze. The room was filled with cardboard boxes and the walls were bare of awards and team photos. “Dad? What are you doing?”

  His dad looked up and nodded at him in greeting. “Something I should have done a year ago.” He reached for a decoration that was sticking out of one of the boxes and showed it to Gabriel. A piece of metal with the words ‘Gone fishin’.

  “What?”

  “I’m stepping down, son. I resigned today.” He tossed the sign back into the box.

  The air was thick, the words seemed to reach Gabriel slowly. “Stepping down? What do you mean?”

  “I’m not cut out for this anymore. Maybe the times have changed. I’m sixty-two, it’s time that I retire and find something else to do for a while.” He looked at Gabriel and smiled, but a shadow of pain sat behind his gaze. “Go sit on the dock and fish for a while. Think about things.”

  “Dad, you can’t just leave—this team is everything to you.”

  “That’s the problem.” He turned towards the desk drawer and swept an armful of pens, sticky notes, and stopwatches into an empty box. “Let’s just say that the championship meet was a wake-up call.” His eyes closed, and Gabriel shifted, cracking his knuckles out of habit as he waited for the rebuff. Oh boy. Here we go.

  “I’ve let the team become the ultimate thing. And I’ve lost a lot along the way.” His dad’s voice grew sharp around the edges as if the words were difficult to get out. His hands finally stilled, and he looked squarely at Gabriel. “My family, you, should have been my everything.” He blinked rapidly and his voice grew quieter. “It was never about you. I almost lost you both that day.”

  His voice began to shake, and Gabriel realized he was no longer talking about coaching.

  “I thank God every day that you’re still alive. I know I’ve been hard on you, it’s just—I did
n’t know how to accept it. It was easier to think…” He broke, his voice choking. “You have to understand, I…”

  Gabriel blinked and his stomach churned. He had never seen his father cry before. Gabriel suddenly felt small in the now barren office. The words that he had waited so long to hear his father say were not what he expected. They were ugly and unnerving.

  Watching his father crumble before him, his throat tightened, and his anger flared. I have to understand? You didn’t even say sorry. But I have to understand, to forgive you? Years of the disappointment and anger, all brushed away with a command.

  Gabriel’s voice shook like a taut string plucked too violently. “You told me I should have tried harder—that I wasn’t enough—”

  “I lost my son!”

  “I’m your son, too!”

  Steve moaned, almost inhuman in his pain, his hands clawing over his eyes. “I would have given my life seven times over, so that he would live. But I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t live with the feeling.” He reached his hands out and gripped Gabriel’s shoulders tightly. “I didn’t mean what I said. I didn’t mean to put the burden on you. It wasn’t your fault.”

  His dad pulled him tightly against him as the words ricocheted like a bullet in his chest, reopening every wound that had badly scarred over. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

  “I lost more than one son that day. And it was my own doing. I don’t want to lose you again.”

  There was nothing Gabriel could say. In the moments, or minutes, that channeled through his grip, everything seemed to shift. The anger, the bitterness, the resentment, seemed to dissipate. There was still pain, but no longer an anger channeling just below the surface, pulling them in opposite directions.

  Too soon, his dad was pulling away from the embrace, picking up the exposed pieces of his pain, tucking them firmly back where they belonged. In the wake of such raw emotion, there was the same sense of disorientation that comes after a brief thunderstorm followed by sunshine, leaving Gabriel wondering, Did I just imagine that?

  His dad resumed packing his belongings in silence, subtly swiping the heel of his hand across his cheeks to remove the remaining evidence of what had passed. Like the water vapor evaporating off the pavement after a storm.

  Gabriel cleared his throat, unsure of what to do next. “So…who’s going to take your place?”

  Steve looked at Gabriel sheepishly and scratched his head. “You, hopefully. If you accept it.”

  Gabriel gave a hollow laugh. “Good joke. I doubt the board of directors will allow me to come back after what happened.”

  Steve raised a brow. “Well, part of my request in stepping down is that you would take my place. Since you resigned immediately without investigation, nobody but Mr. Montgomery knew what transpired. The team member who brought the complaint to him retracted her report after the Championship meet, something about false information. Plus, it helps that Kailani is no longer on the team.” He rubbed his course hand over his stubbled cheek, the scratching loud in the silence that hung between him. “What a mess of a year.”

  Gabriel was still reeling, trying to keep up. “But I can’t just come back, I just started the rescue diving job with Sarge.”

  “Huh. Well I figured you’d be looking for an out; Eli said you weren’t enjoying it.”

  His mouth popped open. Dammit, Eli. Of course he’d tell. “Well…I mean, I only just started, right? It’ll probably take some time to get settled.”

  “But do you like it?”

  “I think so…well, I like the training drills and working with the guys on their skills.”

  “You mean you like coaching,” Steve said, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Do whatever makes you happy, Son.” He squeezed his shoulder. “I’m proud of you, no matter what you do.”

  That one sentence was like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of him. I’m proud of you. He had waited so long to hear those words. But something about the delivery felt off, like a rescue ring tossed carelessly towards a drowning victim long after they were safely on shore.

  “I can’t just leave. Sarge is counting on me.”

  “I’d suggest swinging by Sarge’s office and having a chat,” Steve said lightly. “You never know what opportunities lie ahead.”

  Gabriel’s eyes narrowed at his father’s air of innocence. “Did you talk to him? This is my life, Dad. I get to choose this for myself.”

  “But did you choose it? Or did I push you towards it?”

  “What do you mean? You wanted me to join the Navy and be a star swimmer like you. I went my own way.”

  “Right, you didn’t want to go the military route. But…you chose the next closest thing.” He scratched at his stubble again. “I was away for most of your childhood. Deployments, weeks out at sea, emergency rescue calls in the middle of the night. I count my victories in the lives I saved but…all my failures were in the milestones I missed. Your birthdays. Holidays. Swim meets.” He shook his head vigorously. “All I’m saying is you can still be a hero and be home every night for dinner with your family.” He grabbed two boxes and hoisted them up, walking towards the door.

  Gabriel stood still, speechless as he tried to process the whirl of information, the subtle non-apologies and riddles.

  As his dad walked towards the door, he paused and for the first time during the conversation, his voice held uncertainty. “So…next week is Thanksgiving.”

  Gabriel nodded. “Yeah?”

  “Are we still doing dinner at the ranch with the Flockharts?”

  A bead of warmth spread through Gabriel’s chest, budding with hope. Maybe things will be better. “Of course.”

  “I’ll see you next week, then.” And without a goodbye, his dad left him standing alone among the boxes that held a decade of memories.

  Gingerly, Gabriel reached toward the box at his feet where a large team photo peeked out at him. His own face beamed from the back row of the swimmers. A smile spread across his face as a rush of memories washed over him, and he dug further in the box where an envelope of photos and thank-you cards from swimmers were tucked away.

  He sank into the chair behind the desk and slowly swiveled in a circle as he read through the letters. But one gave him more pause than the rest; it was a picture of him and his dad in their matching polos at one of the championship meets a few years ago, laughing as they held up a trophy for third place. Those were the good days. On the back was a scrawled note in his dad’s handwriting: The Dream Team.

  Smiling, Gabriel stood up and tucked the photo in his jeans pocket before heading out the office door.

  Chapter 37

  Kailani

  Kailani was raking up the leaves under the ancient maple tree, blasting music in her earbuds. She yelped when a hand suddenly grasped her elbow and stumbled back into the pile of leaves. She looked at the figure that stood over her. Coach Steve.

  “Kailani! So sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I was calling your name but guess you couldn’t hear me.” Her headphones had been wrenched from her ears by her flailing arm and he reached down, handing them to her as he pulled her to her feet.

  Kailani brushed off her jeans and pulled her sleeves over her hands nervously. Her voice came out strangled and high-pitched. “No, it’s okay, I was just in the zone. Uh…the Flockharts ran to the store to grab some last-minute things for Thanksgiving dinner…” She glanced around at the empty driveway and gulped involuntarily. How pissed is he?

  “I know, I came here early to talk to you.” He zipped his jacket over his button-down shirt and crisp slacks, crossing his arms against the biting breeze.

  “Coach Steve, I—”

  He shook his head tightly; that small movement was enough to make her swallow the rest of her sentence. “No, Kailani. I’m the one who should be explaining myself. I was too hard on you. I put the success of the whole program on your shoulders, which I know wasn’t fair. And the scholarships…well, that was a mess.”

  “
I still shouldn’t have quit in front of everyone like that…”

  “Well, it certainly got my attention. I failed you, Kailani. Gabriel probably already told you that I stepped down as coach?”

  She nodded, unsure what to say.

  “Just promise me something?”

  She bit her lip, wary of making any more promises she could not keep.

  “Make sure to use that talent of yours. You are the most remarkable swimmer I have ever had the pleasure of coaching. Which would take you far, but the fact that you are also the hardest worker I’ve ever seen…” He shook his head again. “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.”

  A smile twitched across her face. “Are you quoting Steve Prefontaine?”

  He laughed. “He was every coach’s dream and worst nightmare. Just like you. You’re stubborn, but it’s what makes you great. Hopefully, you’ll find a way to make the most of it.”

  Warmth crept across her cheeks and she looked at him sheepishly. “Well...I was actually going to join the triathlon team.”

  Coach Steve’s eyes, the exact shade of blue as Gabriel’s, snapped to hers. “Damn him. Coach Burton…well, if he helped Gabe work his way to the World Championships in triathlon, I imagine he can do the same or better with you.” He wagged a finger at her and looked serious again. “Just don’t slack off on your form. Triathletes, I tell you, are the sloppiest swimmers I’ve ever seen. Such a disgrace.” He clicked his tongue then glanced towards the farmhouse behind him. “Will you be joining us today for Thanksgiving dinner?”

  “Oh, uh…” Gabriel had already invited her, but she declined when she imagined the tension in the room. But now, as Coach Steve smiled at her expectantly, her resolve wavered. “I wouldn’t want to impose. Plus, I’ve never actually celebrated it before.”

  “Thanksgiving is for coming together. And you’re the reason the Flockharts are still calling this place home, and that alone is cause for celebration.” He clapped her on the shoulder. “And I want to get to know the girl who stole my son’s heart right under my nose.”