Beautiful Goodbye

by Chandin Whitten

  “Gage said I would find you here.” Larkin’s deep voice ran down my spine, causing me to shiver.

  “Just thinking. The beach has always been my escape,” I said.

  Larkin sat beside me and grabbed a handful of sand before asking, “What are you thinking about?”

  I smiled when I answered, “My dad. My family. Us. And that I think I could possibly, kinda sorta, may be in love with you.”

  Larkin dropped the sand and faced me. “You what?”

  Laughing I said, “I am totally and completely in love with you, Larkin. Reading the letter my dad wrote me made me realize that I can’t lose you. I want us to be a family. I want to be with you and raise our daughter. I talked to Gage and I’m letting go of my past. I won’t allow Jacob to hurt me anymore or hold me back. I guess sometimes you have to be with the wrong person to realize who the perfect person is. My past is something that will always be there but from now on I won’t let it control me. Nothing is holding me back from telling you I love you.”

  Larkin grabbed my face and smashed his lips to mine. “Jenna, it’s about damn time. I am so fucking in love with you and our daughter.”

  “Larkin, I’m not a perfect girl. I’m going to screw up and piss you off. I’m going to annoy you and say stupid shit but no one will love you like I do. You’re the one for me.”

  Running his thumb across my lips he smiled and pulled something from his pocket. Larkin looked in my eyes and said, “My mom gave me this months ago and I kept it hoping one day I could give it to you. Jenna, you saved me. You made me want to become something and make something of myself. You gave me the best thing in life, being a daddy to Evie. I want to spend forever with you and making you feel how you make me feel. I am so in love you with and our little girl. Will you marry me?”

  Looking down to Larkin’s hand I saw a gorgeous three carat princess cut diamond surrounded by tiny diamonds and two half carat diamonds on each side. The band was also covered in diamonds, it was the perfect ring. “It was my grandma’s. When she died she left it to my mom. My mom and Cobie talked and wanted you to have it. I’ve been holding onto this for months. I was hoping one day you would marry me and spend forever by my side. So, what do you say?”

  Wiping my tears I said the only thing I could, “Hell yes!”

  Larkin slipped the ring on my finger and jerked me to him. Grabbing my face he covered my mouth with his, slowly kissing me. He let all his love for me show through this one kiss.

  Wrapping my arms around his neck I leaned back so I was lying in the sand and Larkin was leaning over me.

  “Jenna, you sure?” Larkin hesitantly asked.

  Biting my bottom lip I smirked as I asked, “You love me right?”

  “Fuck yes,” Larkin grunted.

  “Then make love to me. Right here, right now.”

  Larkin slipped one hand under my sundress and slid my panties down my legs. Using both of my hands I undid his belt and shorts, sliding them along with his boxers. Grabbing his erection I ran my hand up and down. Hearing Larkin sucking in air between his clinched teeth instantly had me wet and ready.

  Larkin slipped two fingers into me and made the ‘come here’ motion. That alone had me clinging to him ready to explode. Digging my nails into his shoulders I said breathlessly, “Please, I need to feel you.”

  “I need all of you, this time it’s different baby. It’s not just about getting off, this time it’s about us and our love. I want to take it slow.” Larkin whispered into my ear.

  Bringing his hands up to steady himself, I brought my legs up to rest on his hips. Watching his arms flex as he slowly slid into me had me wanting more. Larkin brought his lips down to mine. Running his tongue along my bottom lip I opened my mouth, letting our tongues explore each other’s mouths.

  Larkin released my mouth and leaned up. Keeping his slow pace he gazed down at me. “You are everything, Jenna. I love you infinity.” Using one hand he found my swollen clit and rubbed it slowly in circles.

  “I love you too, Larkin. Infinity.” Breathlessly I said, “I’m so close Larkin, I don’t know how much longer I can go.”

  Smiling Larkin said, “I want to get off when you do. There is nothing better than finding pleasure the same time as you.”

  That was all it took, Larkin’s words as he slid in one more time. We both clung to each other, our mouths covering one another’s.

  I was so in love with this man. There was no one I’d rather spend my life with. He pissed me off and he was wild, but with him life would be imperfectly perfect. Exactly what I wanted.

  CHAPTER 33

  1 YEAR LATER

  My day was finally here. It had been hard for me to get to sleep so, I had finally given in and texted Gage to see if he wanted one last sleep over. Of course, he was by my side, always had been and always would be. We had grown up next door to each other and lived with each other during his two years in college. He was my rock through the worst time of my life. When he was drafted he was only two hours away and after today I would be moving permanently to San Diego with Larkin.

  I felt a soft kiss on my temple before Gage whispered, "Good morning, babe."

  I had to fight the tears building up, knowing this would be the last time things were like this. "Morning."

  "I think you need to get up, the girls will be here soon to whisk you off to do whatever the fuck it is you girls do when y'all get married. Don't want you walking down the aisle looking assface ugly."

  "Thanks, Gage. Glad you have my back," I laughed as I rolled over and hugged him. "I love you."

  I climbed out of my childhood bed and headed for the bathroom. Before I opened my door I heard Gage whisper, "I will always love you." I don't think he intended for me to hear, but I did. I just smiled as I crossed the hall and closed the bathroom door.

  I was in my room after a relaxing shower putting on my 'BRIDE' shirt that my sister had insisted I wore today. Gage was gone. I looked around my room that I had basically shared with Gage growing up. Everything looked the same but yet so different. I walked over to my window that looked into Gage's room. Something on my desk caught my eye. Walking over I saw an envelope with a gift bag. I opened the envelope and found a letter from Gage.

  Babe,

  I'm not good at these sorta things so I figured I would write a letter and tell you how I feel. You’ve been my best friend my whole life. Now I know I have to let you go, your Larkin's best friend now. I have loved you since before I knew what love was. No matter where you go or what you do I will always love you. In some ways you were my first love and you’re the girl I will never get over and I don't want to. Having you in my life has shown me what a beautiful thing it can be. You have my past, present, and future. There will never be a girl that comes close to you in my eyes. I hope someday I can find a love like yours and Larkin’s. Maybe you can find me a hot beach babe in SoCal. I realized when your dad passed away that I'm not the one you turn to anymore, Larkin is. That’s how it should be but I'm not going to tell you it doesn't hurt. Seeing you so happy and in love makes me so happy but also knowing that I'm not that person anymore sucks. After everything we have been through and everyone telling us we would be married someday it’s kind of bittersweet. Thank you for letting me be a part of your day. You will never realize how much this means to me. I can never be your dad but giving me the honor to walk you down the aisle to your future is the biggest honor I will ever receive. Most people don't understand the love we share. We have been there for each other through everything life has thrown at us. I will always be by your side, even if that means standing beside Larkin. You are so lucky you found a guy like him who gets us and our relationship. That guy adores you. Nobody will be good enough for you in my eyes but Larkin is about as close as it’s going to get. You are the perfect princess in his eyes. So this is me telling you goodbye Jenna Reylan. Thank you for twenty one years of being my best friend. I love you more than you know. I will never forget our sleep overs, late night chats, food fi
ghts, crazy drives through the country, our jam outs, chicken and broccoli alfredo, and the love we shared. You will always be my number one girl and best friend. I love you, babe. See you on the beach at six.

  Love,

  Gage

  I had tears streaming down my face as I folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. I sniffed and wiped my face with the backs of my hands before I opened the bag and found a photo album full of pictures of me and him growing up, college, his NFL draft, Evie as a newborn and her first year, NFL games, even pictures of us from the wedding rehearsal last night. I looked into the gift bag again and saw a blue Tiffany’s bag. There were two jewelry boxes inside and I pulled them out. The first was a necklace. It was a platinum key pendant and it had a small blue dragonfly in the key. I opened the second box and found a bracelet covered in diamonds, almost looked like 'xoxo'. I loved it. I saw in the bottom of the tiffany's bag a small post-it note.

  The necklace is the key to my heart and my life. The dragonfly is to remember our past and chasing them at the old pond. Also to remember your dad and to remind you he is always with you. The bracelet is to always let you know I'm here hugging you or giving you a kiss on the cheek to tell you I love you. Hope you love them as much as I do, they reminded me of you. Love you always, Gage

  I was wiping my face again when my door flew open. "Bride Bitch you alive and ready to go?" Sadie yelled out as she walked into my room.

  "Ugh yeah, just give me one minute to grab everything." I turned from her to put everything back into the gift bag.

  "Ok the limo is downstairs so whenever you’re ready we will leave. Your mom said the caterer would be at the hotel at nine with breakfast and Maggie would be there then."

  "Ok, thanks."

  Sadie walked out and I grabbed my phone and opened up my text. I wanted to let Gage know I got his gifts and I loved him.

  Just letting you know how amazing you are and that I will always love you. Thanks for being my best friend and always being there. You will never know what you mean to me. See you at six. love you xo

  I threw my phone into my purse and walked out of my childhood room for the last time as Ms. Reylan. I walked downstairs and saw my mom sitting on the couch looking at the wedding picture of her and my dad with my beautiful little girl and Frannie sitting on her lap.

  "Hey mom, you ready?" I asked when I walked into the room.

  My mom looked up with tears in her eyes, "Yep. Just remembering my wedding day. One of the best days of my life, I loved your dad so much. I hate that he's not here to see you. He would be so proud of the woman you have become. He loved you more than life."

  I leaned down and hugged my mom. "Mom, he is here. He is in my heart and watching from heaven. I remember the day y’all got married. You were a nervous wreck and dad was afraid you were going to run out on him. Then after y’all said your vows to each other you turned to me and said special vows to me. He was the best dad I could have ever asked for. I miss him too, mom." I picked Evie up off her lap, kissed her cheek and asked, "How is my princess?"

  Evie kissed my cheek and squealed, "Mama!" This little girl and her father were my world. No matter what happens in the future as long as I have my family I know I will make it.

  “Did you see momma in those pictures?"

  Evie just shook her head and she wiggled to get free.

  My mom wiped her tears then stood. "Me too, baby. Now let’s go get you ready for your happily ever after."

  We spent the rest of the day being pampered. As six o'clock got closer my nerves started resurfacing.

  "Ready for the dress?" My photographer asked.

  "Yes, I'm going to need some help though."

  Sadie came into the bedroom of the hotel suite carrying my dress. "Let's start this process."

  And a process it was. My dress was a mermaid style with the bodice covered in tiny crystals and the bottom was made of fluttering, shimmering organza layers. The dress looked like it was made for a beach princess. After putting my dress on I knew this was my last moment with my mom as just her daughter. She was standing off to the side holding Evie, watching all the commotion. I smiled at her and mouthed 'I love you'. She smiled back dabbing under her eyes then mouthed 'I love you too."

  A few minutes later there was a knock on the hotel suite door. "Come in," Maggie yelled.

  The door opened and Gage walked in wearing his custom made tux, he looked gorgeous. "Where is my girl? I wanted to see her before I walked her down the aisle."

  "Unky Gage! Me pwetty!" Evie squealed as she twirled around in her princess dress.

  "Gorgeous mini babe," Gage snickered.

  All the girls in the room moved to the side and I slowly turned around to face him. "Hey." I bowed my head a little.

  "You look beautiful, babe. Larkin is going to be amazed." Gage started walking towards me. "Do y’all mind if I have a minute with Jenna?"

  The girls shook their heads as Maggie spoke up, "Ok ladies it’s time to head downstairs and line up. We have eight minutes until show time. Gage, Jenna I will be back up when we are ready for you."

  Everyone left the room, my mom kissing my cheek and grabbing Evie's hand on her way out.

  When the door shut Gage pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. Gage ran his hands down my arms, grabbing my hands. Smiling he said, "You look absolutely gorgeous. Your dad is looking down right now with a huge smile saying 'that’s my girl'."

  I grabbed a tissue to blot under my eyes trying not to smear my makeup. "Thank you Gage, you have no idea how much that means to me. I know you are making him proud by filling in his shoes. Thank you for everything you got me." I walked over to the bag sitting on the bed and pulled out the two jewelry boxes. "Will you put them on me, please?"

  Gage simply smiled and grabbed the two boxes.

  After putting on my necklace and bracelet Gage whispered, "Ready to walk to your future?"

  I couldn't help the tears as I replied, "Yes, but I will never forget my past or what it means to me." I got on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. I saw tears in his eyes. I had only seen Gage cry when I was in the hospital after my attack, when Evie was born, when I told him I wanted Larkin, and when my dad died.

  "Let's do it, babe."

  Gage wrapped his strong arms around me, rocking us back and forth. We stayed that way until Maggie knocked on the door and poked her head in. "Ready for you two.”

  We walked downstairs and stood behind the hotel doors. I could see everyone including Larkin waiting on the beach. Gage looked gorgeous but he had nothing on my man. The music started as the bridesmaids and groomsmen started walking. Mac and Kota both came up and hugged me, kissing my cheek and telling me they loved me. I loved my family. Just before Evie started to walk with Frannie I leaned down and kissed her, "Momma loves you."

  "Wuv you mama." Evie smiled then turned to walk down the aisle with Frannie throwing their flowers.

  Maggie came up beside me and instructed, "Ok y’all go slow and don't rush. Enjoy your moment. Ready...and go." Maggie opened the doors and stepped aside.

  CHAPTER 34

  As Gage and I first stepped into view of everybody I felt my eyes tear up. I never envisioned this day for myself, to be this happy and this loved. "Don't cry, babe. Smile and enjoy all the love you have in your life. Plus if you cry you might not to be able to see where the hell you’re going causing you to fall. And if you fall on my niece I can't promise your safety."

  I couldn't help but smile as I looked from Gage to Evie, who was taking her time tossing her flowers. I looked up and straight into Larkin's eyes as I walked to him. When we reached the front Larkin stepped forward to grab my hand. Larkin and Gage shook hands as Gage told Larkin, "Treat my girl right and love her like she deserves. When she drives you crazy, call me. Oh and she will always be a Jets fan." Larkin and Gage shared a laugh and a man hug. Gage turned to kiss my cheek and whispered, "Love you, babe. Forever."

  I kissed Gage's cheek and choked out between tears, "Love y
ou always." I turned and grabbed both of Larkin's hands and smiled. "Love you baby."

  Larkin and I stepped forward and he whispered, "Love you more."

  The preacher did his part then it was time for our vows, Larkin and I decided to write our own. I turned to hand my flowers to Mac and saw Evie sitting in the sand with Frannie burying the flower petals they didn't throw out.

  Turning back to Larkin, I grabbed both his hands and vowed, "I Jenna Reylan take you Larkin Nayler to be my best friend, the love of my life. I promise to stand by your side and support your dreams. I will be your biggest cheerleader, even when you play the Jets. Sorry, Gage." I looked to Gage and winked, and he smiled back and shook his head. I continued, "I never thought this day would come, but you never gave up hope. You became my best friend and the one I turned to with my problems. You were always there no matter what I did or said, you knew I needed you even when I didn’t know it. I will always be here to laugh with you, cry with you, or just be there. I give you my deepest most passionate love. I promise to be faithful to you. Where you go, we all go as a family. You have brought out a side of me I thought I would never get back, you saved me. You have shown me what it’s like to truly be madly, deeply, and completely in love with someone. Seeing you with our daughter melts my heart every time, knowing Evie will always have her daddy. You gave me something I never saw myself having, you gave me a family. With you and Evie in my life I have everything I could ever want or need. I love you to infinity and beyond."

  Larkin squeezed my hands then looked into my eyes and vowed, "Jenna, from the day I met you two years ago I knew you were something special. With you I found happiness. I love you more than sushi, and any of you who know me, knows just how much that means. You brought me back to who I want to be, who I want our daughter to look up to and be proud of. You and Evie are my everything. You’re the one I want by my side through life, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad. Only you can make me so mad but with one look melt my heart. Being with you assures me that no matter what happens, with you and Evie I have everything I could ever need. I can't wait to start our life together as a family and show you the world. Everything that I am and everything that I have is now yours. Spending my forever with you is going to be the best, craziest, and happiest ride of my life. I will love you to infinity and beyond, baby."