Trying to Stay Saved

by E. N. Joy

  “Well, let me at least kiss your arm and make it better,” Blake had said, leaning down and planting a kiss on Paige’s bruised arm. “How was that?” Before she could answer, he kissed her again. And again. And before she knew it, he was kissing her in places that only a husband should kiss his wife.

  How was it that the same man who’d hurt her could make her feel so good? Could make her forget about the hurt altogether and just focus on what made her feel good? And that’s just what happened. Blake apologized to her over and over again as he kissed every crevice of her body. Easily caught up in the rapture of love, Paige accepted his apology. He told her that he’d never hurt her again. He said it with such sincerity and conviction. Paige could have even sworn she saw a tear in his eye. She believed him. She believed that he never meant to hurt her and that he would never hurt her again.

  Who was in denial now?

  Chapter Eighteen

  “So I’m glad to see that Pastor Davidson is no longer staying here.” Mother Doreen looked around Bethany’s living room as if to make sure there were no remnants of that man left behind.

  “He left the day Uriah came home,” Bethany stated, “or didn’t come home . . . or left again.” She huffed. “You know what I mean.” Bethany walked over to the couch and sat down, in preparation of entertaining whatever thoughts were on her sister’s mind. “You said you wanted to talk to me?”

  “Yes, that’s true.” Two hours or so after Mother Doreen dropped Uriah off at Bethany’s, he came back out to the car ready to return to Pastor Frey’s. After taking him back to Pastor Frey’s, Mother Doreen drove back to her sister’s house to talk.

  “I can only imagine what it is you want to talk about.” Bethany rolled her eyes.

  “Look, Sis, I don’t want to bicker and fight with you. I just want to talk like the two civilized, God-fearing adults that we are.” Mother Doreen took a seat next to Bethany on the couch. “You’re my little sister, and I love you. You’re the only family I have left, and I’ll be darned if I allow Satan to destroy that.”

  “I hear you, but can’t you see that the devil doesn’t have anything to do with what’s going on between you and me? It’s you.” Bethany stood. “Ever since you moved here to Kentucky, you’ve been snooping around me, my church, my children like you’re some type of private detective.”

  “But I told you from jump that’s what I came here to do,” Mother Doreen reminded her. “I told you that my sole purpose for being here was to watch over and take care of you all.”

  “What you’ve been doing crosses the line of just ‘watching over’ us.” Bethany took a deep breath. She’d made up her mind when agreeing to have a talk with her sister that she wouldn’t cut the fool. She’d stay calm and listen to what her sister had to say. Mother Doreen was in her sixties; over two decades Bethany’s senior. How Bethany saw it was that Mother Doreen couldn’t relate. She was old-school; too old-school, and had no idea how marriages and relationships operated nowadays. “I feel as though you’re sitting on the right hand of the throne, just waiting to judge me.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” Mother Doreen apologized sincerely. “I promise you that I never meant to make you feel as though you were being judged. I guess ever since my newfound so-called holy boldness has taken affect, I have been overdoing it a little bit. It’s just that I strive to please God in everything I do. I just don’t want to fail Him in any way.”

  “And I understand that about you, ’Reen, really I do. I know that you are a true woman of God, but that doesn’t mean you have to be the perfect Christian. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you should expect for everyone around you to be perfect either.”

  Mother Doreen nodded her head in agreement.

  “I know I messed up with Pastor and Uriah and everything,” Bethany continued. “But in spite of what you think, I’m still leaning on God to help me through this. I still trust God. I still love God, and I know He loves me because His Word says nothing can come between His love and me.”

  “Speaking of Uriah, when are you going to tell the kids about him now that he’s back?” Mother Doreen asked.

  “I’m not.”

  Mother Doreen was stunned. “What? So you’re just going to let them think—”

  “He’s going to tell them himself, tonight,” Bethany said. “See? There you were about to do it again; go off on one of your judgmental tangents. You have to realize that God gave man free will. People are going to make the choices they make, and they are not always going to be the right ones. But you have to realize, ’Reen, that you are not the only somebody who hears from God. God speaks to me. No, I don’t always listen and do the right thing. Sometimes my flesh gets the best of me, but you have to trust me and trust the God that we both serve that everything is going to work out for the good in the end.”

  Mother Doreen took in her sister’s words with such admiration. “Oh, Sis, I underestimate you sometimes, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Mother Doreen embraced her sister with a warm and loving hug.

  “Aunti!” Sadie came through the door excited to see her aunt and glad to see that her mother and aunt were embracing.

  Mother Doreen was also glad; glad that for once, Sadie had caught her and her sister doing something besides arguing. “How’s my bestest niece?” Mother Doreen asked, releasing Bethany to hug Sadie.

  “I’m doing good now that you’re back.” Sadie looked at her mother, then back at Mother Doreen. “You are back, aren’t you?”

  Now it was Mother Doreen’s turn to look to Bethany. Her eyes silently posed the same question Sadie had just asked out loud.

  After a moment or two, a smile crept across Bethany’s lips. “That’s if she wants to be back.” Now Bethany looked at Mother Doreen and with her eyes, posed the same question.

  Mother Doreen didn’t hesitate. “If you all will have me back, I’d be honored to come home.”

  “Yes!” Sadie cheered. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to eat one more bowl of Beanie-Weenies.”

  All three laughed.

  “So you just want me back for my cooking, huh?” Mother Doreen teased her niece.

  “Aunti, I’d be lying if I said that didn’t play a big part,” Sadie admitted. She then kissed her aunt on the cheek. “That, and the fact that I miss you.”

  “Aw, now, that’s more like it.” Mother Doreen returned her niece’s gesture with a kiss on the cheek. “Now, go get moving.” She playfully slapped Sadie on the rear end. “Go get your studies done while I check out of that hotel and stop at the grocer. I know just what I’m going to make for this special occasion.” Mother Doreen winked at Bethany, alluding to the fact that later on this evening, they’d be celebrating a far more special occasion than just her coming back. Uriah would be back as well.

  “Okay, Aunti. I love you.” Sadie ran off.

  “Wait, where’s Hudson?” Mother Doreen asked.

  “Oh, he went to see the baby,” Sadie replied stopping. “He said he’ll be home at around seven.”

  “Isn’t that something?” Mother Doreen stated. “Most teen fathers would be running as far as they could from the responsibility of being a daddy, but Hudson is running to it.”

  “Can you blame him?” Sadie’s eyes lit up. “I mean, my niece is the most beautiful and perfect baby in the world.” Sadie stared off starry-eyed. “I can’t wait for Justice and I to have a baby of our own.”

  “Justice?” both Mother Doreen and Bethany exclaimed loudly.

  “Baby?” Mother Doreen spat even louder. “Oh, ba-ba-bo-bolska.” The tongues got to rolling as Mother Doreen approached Sadie. “In the name of Jesus, child, there will be no talk about babies. You just turned fifteen last month. And who is this Justice anyway?”

  Sadie brushed off her mother’s and aunt’s apprehension with a hand swish and a smile. “Oh, I don’t mean now. Justice and I have to finish high school at least. He’s only in tenth grade like me.” She rolled her eyes up in her head. “He’s ne
w here in town. Been here about a month.”

  “The boy has only been here a month and you’re talking about having a baby with him?” Mother Doreen asked in disbelief.

  “We’ve only been officially ‘talking’ for a couple of weeks. But we have so much in common that it ain’t funny.”

  “Well, I’d like to meet this Justice and his parents,” Bethany stated.

  “His father is a bishop. He’s here scoping out a church scene or something; kind of like an undercover mission or something.”

  “Well, I hope that’s the only thing under covers, if you know what I mean,” Bethany said sternly to her daughter.

  Sadie chuckled and shook her head. “Mom, if you’re asking if Justice and I are having sex yet, the answer is no. Besides, he’s one of the good ones. You can trust him. He’s a preacher’s kid, for Pete’s sake.” And on that note, Sadie galloped to her room.

  Mother Doreen looked over at Bethany. “A preacher’s kid, huh?” she said, shaking her head. “And you know what they say . . . sometimes there’s only one thing worse than a preacher’s kid.”

  “Who is that?” Bethany asked dumfounded.

  “The preacher himself.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Lorain stood erect and stiff like a Russian toy soldier. She couldn’t believe he was at her door—Broady, Mr. Leary. Her mother’s new husband. Her stepfather. Him standing there in her doorway was like déjà vu, only this time, he didn’t appear from behind her mother. This time, Lorain wasn’t popping a grape in her mouth. She wasn’t caught up in the element of surprise to the point where she choked on the grape, ultimately needing the Heimlich maneuver to save her life. But there was more than just an element of surprise this time. There was complete shock. She never expected him to come to her. She’d been trying to figure out how she would go to him, confront him about the past—their past. That way, the ball would be in her court. This was clearly a flagrant foul and the ref had made the wrong call, because now Broady had possession of the ball. It was in his court, a home game, and he stood there dribbling, every bounce getting louder and louder, taunting Lorain’s very being.

  Not wanting to be defeated, Lorain had to try to make a steal. She needed to get control of the ball again. She began her fake out.

  “Broady . . . uh, please . . . come in.” Getting those words out of her mouth was not as easy as it sounded. Without saying a word, Broady accepted Lorain’s invitation and entered the house. “Please,” Lorain said, extending a hand toward a chair, “sit down.” Once again, without saying a word, he accepted Lorain’s offer and took a seat. “Water?” she offered.

  “No, thank you,” he finally spoke.

  His voice, for some reason, was so menacing to Lorain. All of a sudden, she felt as though the walls were closing in on her. The room was becoming as small as an office—Mr. Leary’s old office back at the middle school. She couldn’t breath. She had to get out of there. She called a time-out. “I need some water,” Lorain managed to get out, grabbing her throat as she rushed out of the living room and into the kitchen.

  She ran over to the kitchen sink and turned on the cold water. She didn’t even bother to get a glass. She just bent over and scooped the water in her mouth straight from the faucet. After gulping down several handfuls of water, Lorain stood up and took several deep breaths. She still felt suffocated. Water always seemed to help out the people in movies whenever they were feeling anxiety. Obviously, that only worked in the movies . . . or just not for her.

  For a second she thought about trying the brown paper bag trick; the old exercise of breathing in and out of the bag. She’d seen that in movies as well, but felt now she was being ridiculous. So, instead, she tried something that she knew worked. She began to pray.

  “Heavenly Father, I come to you as humble as I know how to be right now. This entire thing has been a complete roller coaster. Well, I want off the ride, God. Get me off the ride safe and sound, Lord. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to say. Let everything that is about to take place be directed by the Holy Spirit. Protect me right now, Father God. Protect me from the enemy, even if the enemy is me. Keep me covered in the blood. And above all, Lord, as you remove the covers off of this situation, provide a blanket of protection upon all those affected, so that they will be covered by your love, warmth, and comfort. Only you know the outcome, God. And in the end, let me be mindful to give you all the honor, all the glory, and all the praise. I love you, Lord. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”

  With shoulders relaxed and putting all her trust into the Lord, Lorain made her way back into the living room where Broady was seated. When he noticed her return, he stood.

  “Is everything okay? Are you all right?” Broady asked her.

  “Yes,” she assured him. “I haven’t really been feeling myself these days, you know.” Lorain went and took a seat on her couch, which was catty-cornered from the chair Broady was sitting in.

  “That’s, uh, kind of why I’m here.” Broady took a deep breath and sat back down. “I think I kind of know what’s going on here, Lorain.”

  “Do you? Do you really?” Lorain saw an opportunity where she could take possession of the ball. But she didn’t want to make a move too soon. She didn’t know what kind of grip Broady had on it.

  “It’s about me and you.”

  Chills shot through Lorain’s body. She had to coach herself. Stay calm. Relax. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. “Me and you?” Where was his head at? Lorain needed to know.

  “Exactly, and I owe you an apology, Lorain; a long, overdue apology.” Broady’s eyes looked downward with regret. “And all I can do is just pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  Was this the moment? Was this the moment he was going to turn the ball over?

  “It seems as though you and I never really got a chance to hit it off,” Broady continued, looking at Lorain. “You don’t really know me, and what you do know . . . well . . . I can’t say it’s something a girl would want to know about her stepfather.” He shook his head. “Whew, that day in the church when you stood up and called me out about my past conviction as a pedophile . . . umpf, umpf, umpf, but God is good. Because He gave me the opportunity to clear the air with you right then and there. But as you know, what I said in the church wasn’t everything.”

  Now this is when Lorain thought she wasn’t going to be able to control herself. She had her game face on tough as she nodded for Broady to continue.

  “God wanted me to do more, to say more. He wanted me to take it to another level. But instead, what did I do? I ran off and married your mother. And by doing so, I failed you and your mother.” He paused for a moment. “She doesn’t even know I’m here now saying what I’m about to say. I . . . I had overheard her talking to you this morning. From the gist of things, I concluded you were home from work ill today. I decided to seize the moment to come over here and say what I needed to say.”

  Lorain couldn’t take it any longer. She needed for Broady to say what was on his mind. In turn, she could then say what she needed to say; that he needed to divorce her mother and leave their lives just as quickly as he had entered it. “So exactly what is it you came here to say, Broady?”

  He stood and ran his hands down his pants as if his palms had been sweaty and he needed to dry them off. “I know I can’t turn back the hands of time, but I can move forward. And I’d like to move forward by getting to know you better. It’s been you and your mother for quite some time, so I had no business just coming into her life and taking her away from you like that. I know it had to hurt you. And maybe you thought by putting me on blast like that in front of my church family was a way to hurt me back. But I forgive you and hope we can—”

  “You forgive me?” Lorain exclaimed in disbelief. That’s it! She’d had enough. She’d heard enough. There was no way she was about to let Broady dunk on her. So she decided to muster up all the strength she had and block the shot. It was time she took back what was hers: pe
ace of mind.

  The clock on the scoreboard was ticking away. If Lorain was ever going to make her move, she had to do it now. Time was running out.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Aren’t you the least bit nervous? I mean, you are about to see your mother again for the first time after all these years,” Paige asked her husband as they walked hand in hand toward the elevator.

  This time, instead of meeting at the court building, the plaintiff, defendant, and their attorneys were meeting in the conference room at Ms. Turner’s office. It was supposed to be sort of like a pre-deposition, where Blake would disclose his financials dating back to when his father received a settlement up until now. The only thing Blake wanted his mother to disclose were her whereabouts for the last three decades.

  “Trust me, wife, nervous is the last emotion that’s running through my veins,” Blake replied as he hit the arrow pointing up for the elevator. “I can’t believe this woman has the nerve to come back into my life after she left my father and me for dead when I was only three years old. She doesn’t come back into my life because she wants to apologize or start up a relationship with me. She comes back into my life to sue me. Are you serious?” Blake’s temper was starting to flare.

  Knowing getting him all fired up wouldn’t be a good idea, so Paige gently rubbed the back of Blake’s hand in order to calm him down. Blake could go into that meeting and jeopardize everything—not only the money, but their house and cars as well. The last thing she needed was for him to catch a case . . . another one.

  “Where in God’s name is this stupid elevator?” Blake stated as he pressed the button repeatedly, his aggravation evident.

  “Baby,” Paige said, standing in front of him and wrapping her arms around his waist, “relax. Think about the time we just spent together this morning.” A mischievous grin spread across her lips. “That ought to settle you down a little. Besides, after all that work you put in, seems like you wouldn’t have the energy to be all wound up,” she teased.