Embracing Love

by Delisa Lynn

  Once we were back at my mom’s, everyone shared stories and looked at pictures. There were pictures of my dad with everyone, even Evan and Brody from when they went fishing a few months back.

  “Lila, I can’t believe you invited him here.” said Liam. “Liam, he is my friend. Although I came back to you, I will always have a place in my heart for Evan. My father loved you and wanted me to be with you. But he also liked Evan. Now if you will excuse me I need to talk with my guests.”

  Oh my god I am so stupid, Liam is right. How I could invite him over? I guess it wasn’t as bad as the home wrecker at my father’s funeral. I thought my mom was going to strangle her. “Lila sweetie, are you okay?” “Oh god Nik, I’m such an idiot.” I started crying.

  “Oh no Li, you’re not. I take it Liam wasn’t happy about Evan?” “You know he wasn’t.” Evan walked over and put his hand in the small of my back. “Lila, I’m going to go now, again I’m so sorry for your loss, darlin’. Please call me if you need anything.” “Wait Evan, come with me please.” I got looks from Nikki, Liam, and Brody. But I wanted a few minutes alone with him. We walked out to the guesthouse where it was quiet. “Evan, I just needed to be alone with you for a minute, please just hold me in your arms.” He placed his hands in the small of my back and pulled me in for one of his warm hugs. “Lila, I’m sorry for everything you have been through the last couple months. I know after losing Addison you were devastated and now your dad. Is there anything I can do to help you get through this?” “Thanks Evan, you’re doing it now. Just you holding me means more to me than you will ever know.” He leaned over and placed his lips to my forehead. “I love you and miss you so much, Lila. I should get going.” It felt like our last night all over again, I was losing him again. “Thank You, Evan. I love you and I miss you more than you can imagine.” I knew I shouldn’t but I leaned up on my tip toes and brushed his lips with mine. He pulled back and gave me a hurt and confused look. He then pulled me in tighter and kissed my lips, I parted his lips with my tongue, as I did he let out a little moan. We kissed with so much passion. Finally, I pulled away. I couldn’t take anymore, I wanted him so bad. His breathing was rapid and he kissed my head and said, “It isn’t goodbye, I will see you later.” “Evan, wait.” I grabbed him and started kissing him, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I looked him in his eyes. “I need you now, Evan, please don’t tell me no. Please I need to feel your love.” I knew it was wrong and he would do it because I wanted him to. I unzipped his pants and he pulled my dress up and pushed my panties to the side. Then guided himself into my wet opening. “Oh God, Evan, I love you so much. I know this isn’t right but I need you so bad, baby.” “Lila, I love you and this is breaking my heart. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to be inside of you.” Each time he pushed up, I would push down. We came together for the last time. I slid my body back down to the floor and kissed Evan as I wiped his tears. “Evan, I will always love you.” I kissed his heart and walked away. I walked back into the house like nothing had never happened. I found Nikki and took her in the bathroom with me. “Lila, everything okay?” I was sobbing and couldn’t speak. “Nik, I uh…I, uh…I love Evan.” “Oh Li, doll. You didn’t, did you?” I just nodded my head up and down. She sat down on the side of the bathtub and pulled me on her lap. She cradled me like a baby as I cried in her arms. “Li, we will get through all of this. I’m staying a week or so, I can’t leave you like this, not now.” “Nik, how could I do this? I’m no better than that woman that was sleeping with my dad.” “Oh Li sweets, you are not like that woman. I know you are confused and love both of them.”

  Liam didn’t talk to me for several hours. We went home that night, I tried making love to him and he said he was too tired. I knew I had hurt his feelings. I couldn’t just ignore Evan when he came all this way to pay his respects. My life was a complete mess, I kept losing everyone and everything seemed to be falling apart. God, I had no clue what I even wanted in life anymore. I knew I wanted Liam. But I also wanted Evan in my life and I knew that could never be possible.

  I woke up to breakfast in bed.

  “Lila, I’m sorry about over reacting about Evan. I know he’s your friend. I guess you could say I’m jealous. I know you did things with him that you do with me and it kills me to know he had his hands all over you, baby.” “Oh Liam, I’m here with you. You won, he didn’t. I’ll be honest. I do love him, just not as much as I love you. I also kissed him yesterday. Before you say anything, I had to. I needed his touch, Liam. The last months he has been everything to me and to just walk away from him is hurting me so fucking bad. Please don’t be mad, I’m with you because it is you that I want. I want to wake up to you every day. I want to feel your lips on mine every morning.” He just smiled and started kissing me. “Now you Mr. Ellis need to make love to me like right now!” “So bossy, Miss Carls.” “Damn straight! Now pleasure your woman.” I giggled. He never mentioned the kiss again.

  Six Months Later

  I had been on several interviews and I took a position at a small law firm. It was a great opportunity. Liam was doing so much better. We were living in my beach house. It had been six months and I hadn’t heard from Evan since my father’s funeral. I thought about him often and what he was doing. I would ask Brody and he would just say he’s fine.

  Eric had finally gone back to Boston, but he was coming back soon. He couldn’t live there anymore he said. Liam and I went to Paris. My dad had gotten the tickets for himself and my mother as a Christmas gift. My mom wanted me to go. I wasn’t up for the trip, considering everything I had been through. But I’m glad we went.

  I went to lunch with some coworkers and I don’t know if it was something that I ate but I felt really nauseous. I made a doctor’s appointment and they ran tests and found out I was pregnant. It was almost September and I had gotten pregnant in June. I must have gotten pregnant in Paris. I went back to work and Anna, the lady I was working with, asked if I was okay. “I’m fine, Anna, just a little stomach bug.”

  I told her to hold my calls. I was going to take the rest of the day off and that I would be fine.

  Liam and I were going to have a baby. I was headed home to share the news with him. Would he be excited? Would he want to get married? All these questions were going through my mind. I didn’t know how to tell him. I thought maybe I would wait a couple days. I could wait a few days I guess.

  I walked in the door and Liam asked, “Lila, what are you doing home so early?” “I thought I would take the afternoon off and we could have lunch together.” “Sounds great, I actually have a few plans of my own, my sweet L.” Hmm what was he up to now? “Liam, why do you spoil me so much?” “What makes you think they are for you? Now go change into something sexier than that.”

  I wasn’t sure of his plans so I decided to wear a nice maxi dress. As I start changing, I notice the little bulge in my stomach. I’m already showing and didn’t even notice. I put my hair in a small bun on the top of my head and freshened up my makeup a little. “I’m ready, Mr. Ellis. Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise, my love.” “Liam, why are you blindfolding me?” “You trust me, don’t you?” “I do with all my life.”

  I heard a car pull up as I walked out the door. “Liam, what’s going on?” “You will see soon enough. The ride was long and I could hear music playing. “Lila, I love you so much, baby.” “I love you more, Liam and I would love to be able to kiss you right now.” He leaned in and started kissing me, then he worked his way down my neck and back up.

  “Liam, don’t start something you can’t finish.” “Ha, L, I can finish, my love.” He then slid his hands up my dress and started rubbing me through my panties. “Liam Anthony, I want you right here. Where ever we are, I don’t care, just give it to me.” He chuckled then started pulling my panties off. Oh God I hoped he didn’t notice my stomach yet. He then ran a finger across my clit. “O-Oh Liam, please.” He then slid one finger inside of me. “Damn Lila, you are dripping wet.” I laughed. I w
ould love to see his face. “Liam, I am hornier than a fucking jack rabbit on a bunny farm.” “L, that has to be one of the funniest things you’ve ever said. Thanks, now I see little bunnies everywhere.” “No Liam, more please.” He slid another finger in and started moving them faster, as he kissed me and pleasured me with his fingers. I gripped his neck with both hands and screamed “Liam!” as loud as I could. I had no damn clue who could hear me but I didn’t care.

  Damn that orgasm was great. “You feel better, baby?” “Oh Liam, you have no idea how bad I needed that. My turn to make you come, my love.” “No L, not now. We’re almost to our destination.” “But Liam, I want you now.” “Soon my love, very soon.”

  As he took off my blindfold, we were standing in the middle of his beach. There were pink roses everywhere along with a huge white blanket. I saw bottles of wine and fruit. It was beautiful. I was speechless. I managed to say, “How did you do this?” Liam just laughed. I saw Ashton and Christabella with their baby. “They helped,” he said. I laughed as I hugged them all goodbye.

  Liam got down on both knees and the smile on his face was priceless. He had a pink box in his hand.

  Inside of the pink box he opened was a beautiful diamond ring. It wasn’t too flashy or big. “This was my mother’s ring, Lila, and I promised her I would give it to a woman she would approve of. A woman that would make me happy. My beautiful L, that’s you. Will you be my Mrs. Liam Anthony Ellis?” I had no clue where it came from but I heard “Marry Me” by Train playing.

  Oh my God that was the song Evan played when he proposed. I have to quit thinking about him. “Liam,” I cried. “Of course I will. I will always be yours.” Through his tears he smiled and said, “I told you that first night I walked you home that you would be!”

  “I do need to tell you something Liam, I’m not sure how you will feel about this.” “What is it, Lila?”

  I bit my bottom lip, as I reached for his hand and placed it on my baby bump. “You’re going to be a daddy!” “What? We’re having a baby?” “Yes!” I cried. “This is awesome, Lila.”

  Liam picked me up and carried me to the blanket on the sand. As we made love on the beach celebrating our engagement and knowing we were going to be parents was absolutely the perfect night. It couldn’t get any better.

  It had been a several months and I still hadn’t told anyone about the engagement or being pregnant. “Don’t you think it’s time we make our big announcements? I know your mother has noticed your baby bump.” “I do, my love. How about we invite everyone over for dinner? I will call Eric to see if he can fly in.” “Okay. I will call my aunt, uncle, and Ashton.” “Okay I’ll see if Nikki is available also.”

  Everyone we had invited had shown up, my mom, brother, Uncle Kes, and all of the Ellis’ and my best friend Nikki. All that was missing was my other best friend Addie and my daddy. I still missed them every day. It had been almost a year. They still hadn’t found Ads’ murderer. All the video footage was fuzzy and there weren’t any witnesses except Eric.

  “We have brought you all here to share our news. Liam and I are getting married and we are expecting our first child in four months.” Everyone was so excited and happy. Nikki and I stepped out on the patio and as I looked up I saw that same star again. I knew Addie was with us. “Lila, what is it?” Nikki asked. “Nothing.” I smiled. “Just thinking of Addie.” “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.” “Me too, Nikki, me too.” “Nikki, have you talked to Brody?”

  “Yes Lila, I talk to him every day. Let me guess you want to know about Evan?” “Yes, Brody won’t tell me anything.”

  “Lila, you crushed him. He started drinking. I actually had to go there a couple months ago, Brody was really upset. Evan had left drinking and was gone for several days.”

  I started to cry. “What happened?” “He went to upstate New York to some campground.” “Black Bear,” I said as I grabbed my mouth. “What is it, Lila?” “That is where Evan and I went last year and spent the day, making love and talking about our future together.” “Oh damn Lila, I’m sorry. Please stop crying, you don’t want Liam to see you crying over Evan.”

  I hugged Nikki, and whispered in her ear, I will always love Evan, please call him for me. “Are you sure, Lila?” I nodded my head yes and walked back in the house. I celebrated my engagement and our baby, thinking of the other love of my life. “Everything okay, L?” Liam asked as I walked back in. “Yes, everything is perfect Liam, the only thing missing is my dad and Ads.” He smiled and hugged me. “Lila, they’ll always be in our hearts.” Everyone left and Liam and I lounged around watching TV.

  “Lila, you and that sexy dress makes me want to take you in the bedroom.” “Liam stop, I’m huge! And I’m ready to take this dress off.” “Good, I will help.” Liam was enjoying pregnancy sex too much, that’s all we did. He picked me up and carried me in the bedroom.

  We were going for our second sonogram today. “Lila, we are going to be late for the doctor appointment. Come on,” Liam said.

  “I am, hold on. I’m a huge rolly polly.” “You my love are a beautiful rolly polly.”

  I gave him a push on his arm as he bent down to kiss me. It was now November and I only had a few months to go. As we arrived at the doctor’s office to wait for the ultrasound, I started cramping. “Liam, I don’t feel so well,” I said.

  Liam yelled for a nurse and she got a wheelchair and took me on into to do the exam. “Everything is fine, Lila and the babies are healthy.” “Did you say babies?” “Yes, there are two babies.” I looked at Liam and he was smiling ear to ear. “This is great,” Liam said. I just laughed. No wonder I was as big as a house. None of the other ultrasounds showed that there were twins.

  “Would you like to know the sex?” asked the nurse “No, let’s keep it a surprise,” I said. “Umm you can tell me though.” Liam laughed. “No, he doesn’t want to know either.” “Okay, we will wait,” Liam told the nurse.

  We had only a month to go, Nikki had flown out to help me with the nursery.

  Since we decided to not know the gender of the babies, we did the nursery in yellow and mint green. As I put everything out, all I could think of was Addison. It had been a year since her death.

  I knew Nikki knew that I was thinking of her. “Lila, I have a surprise for you.” She handed me a box. As I open the box, it was a picture of her, Addie, and I and it was in a yellow and white frame that said: Memories are Forever. I just sobbed as Nikki hugged me.

  “Lila, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” “It’s okay, Nikki, I’ve been an emotional wreck.” “I know, sweetie, I know.” “Umm Nikki, I think my water broke.” “Isn’t it to early, Lila?”

  Addie, what are you doing here? How did you get here? Addie, I thought you were gone? Why aren’t you answering me, Addison Ellis? What’s going on? I could see Liam crying but didn’t know why.

  Is something wrong with my babies? Addie, what’s wrong? “It’s okay, Lila.” She kissed my forehead. “I love you, Lila Rae.”

  Liam! Liam! Liam!

  “Lila, my beautiful, Lila.” “Liam, what happened? “You fainted and hit your head. We thought we were losing you. Your water broke and I think it scared you. You have a huge cut on your head. Don’t touch it.”

  “Where did Addie go? She was just here!” “I think you’re a little confused, Addie isn’t here, my love. Nikki is in the hallway.” “Liam, I just saw her, she kissed me and told me she loved me. I know it wasn’t Nikki.” “Lila, honey, you know Ads was killed last year.” “Liam, she was here. Why don’t you believe me?” “I’m sorry love, I do believe you.”

  “Sir, we need to examine her,” a young nurse said. “I’m not going anywhere!” Liam shouted. The doctor came in to check on me. “She and the babies are all fine,” the doctor said. “It looks like you will be having your babies anytime now.”

  I was in labor for almost seven hours. My darling angels finally arrived. I looked at my proud soon to be hubby and ask what we should name
these princesses. We hadn’t really talked about girl names, just boys. “She looks exactly like an Addison Michelle and she looks just like a Madison Nicole.” “That’s perfect,” I said. Liam’s mother’s name was Michelle. “Now we need to make you, Mrs. Ellis,” Liam said.

  Our babies were beautiful just like their daddy. Watching Liam hold them made me smile. He was a terrific dad already. I missed my dad so much; I wish he were here. He would have been a great grandfather. He loved children. “What is going on in that pretty little head of your?” “Oh Liam, I’m just thinking about how lucky we are. We made those beautiful little girls.” “Yes we did, we can start making more in six weeks.” I laughed at him. “Liam, can you actually wait six weeks?” He threw his head back and chuckled. “Lila, can you wait six weeks? You, my love, are the sex monster remember? Rawr?” “Oh damn you Liam, you remember that night?” He started laughing. “I remember every night I spent with you. Who could forget a sexy thing like you growling?”

  “Liam, you do have a point, I guess. Please never tell anyone else I can growl.” “Your secret is safe with me, so in about six weeks can you growl at me again?” I just laughed as I watched him hold our baby girls.

  We had been home about three weeks and the twins were doing great. My mom and Aunt Nancy had been a huge help with them. They were watching them while Liam and I went out. We needed to get a new car, he had a sports car and I had a jeep. So, not baby friendly. We ended up getting a GMC Terrain. Liam wanted to move to his house but I wasn’t ready to go there yet. I was comfortable in the guest house.

  Nikki was flying in to help with wedding plans. I needed some girl time. We went shopping and took the girls to get their ears pierced. I was so nervous. So I made Nikki hold them.