Riptide (A Renegades Novel)

by Skye Jordan

  “You’re better than friends. You’re my family.”

  He hadn’t realized how right the words had been until he’d said them earlier. And now, in that instant, he relaxed into the idea. He’d loved the way Tessa hadn’t gotten pissy over Kerry and Candy, even though she’d had the right. He especially appreciated how patient she was with him. He was still getting his mind around his depth of gratitude over her willingness to bring him into Sophia’s life. She could have been a royal bitch about it. In fact, Zach couldn’t think of any other woman he’d ever been involved with who wouldn’t have been a royal bitch in the same situation.

  Zach didn’t care much about what that said regarding his choice in women. Compassion and kindness hadn’t been qualities he’d cared much about when he was only looking for sex. But he was starting to wonder if his lack of interest in those important areas had kept him from falling for a woman over the years. Because as Tessa covered Sophia’s hand with her own and traced the letters of Monkeypod in the air, saying each letter with the little girl to help her learn, Zach felt like he might be falling. Hard.

  “Zach.” His name pulled Zach from his thoughts, and he found Sophia looking at him. “Zach, look, I know the letters.”

  She repeated the letters as Zach walked around the front of the car to meet them.

  “Very good,” he told her. “And what does that spell?”

  Sophia drove her little fists into the air over her head, scrunched up her face, and yelled, “Monkeypod!”

  Both Zach and Tessa laughed. In the setting sun, he could see Tessa had gotten some color, despite her attempts at keeping her skin covered in sunscreen. She looked young and happy and vibrant, just like Sophia. A whole lot younger, happier, and more vibrant than she had when he’d first seen her in the bar. Yet even then, he’d found her attractive. Now, she looked radiant.

  He wrapped his arm around Tessa’s shoulders and walked his girls inside the restaurant.

  My girls.

  Yeah. He liked the sound of that.

  The restaurant was busy, as usual. He’d been here at least a couple of dozen times since he’d started filming the series, but this was the first time he’d noticed that the restaurant was in fact half bar, half restaurant. Literally. Funny how having a three-year-old with him could make him see things differently. His confidence where Sophia was concerned took another hit.

  To Tessa’s credit, she didn’t say anything about the fact that he’d brought them to an inappropriate place for a child. She just grinned at the commotion and said, “Wow, popular place.”

  Sophia was entertained with the noise and the people and the televisions for about five minutes. Once they were seated—as far away from the bar as they could get—his three-year-old turned solemn and grumpy. But it was when Sophia refused to eat anything on the menu that he realized Tessa’s idea of dinner at home would probably have been the better plan.

  Once they ordered to a litany of Sophia’s “No, Mommy, I don’t want that,” “No, I don’t like chicken nuggets,” “Ew, fish,” “I just want shave ice,” Tessa settled Sophia into a comfortable lull with crayons and a coloring sheet. By which time, Zach was exhausted.

  “Man,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t know how you do it.”

  “Practice.” Picking up a crayon, she started coloring on an edge of Sophia’s paper. “Sophia, Zach and I have a surprise for you.”

  We do?

  Zach tried to read Tessa’s mind only to find he couldn’t even read her expression.

  Sophia’s tired eyes gained a new spark as she looked between them. “What?”

  “Well,” she said, “you know how I’m your mommy?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you know how a lot of families have a mommy and a daddy?”

  Sophia looked a little confused. Her fingers worried one of Pegasus’s ears. “Um…yeah. Or two mommies, like you and Corinne.”

  Zach scraped his lower lip between his teeth. His stomach wavered a little. There was something about Sophia calling her real mother Corinne that reminded Zach why they were all here tonight, together, and guilt hit him hard. “Tessa,” he said softly, “We don’t have to—”

  “No,” she said, resigned. “It’s a good idea. We don’t have a lot of time. Better now than later.”

  He exhaled, hating the sound of that. Suddenly there didn’t seem to be enough time for any of this—for Sophia to get to know Zach, for Zach to understand Sophia, or for Zach and Tessa to figure out what was happening between them. And that didn’t take into account all the decisions, very big decisions, they had to make. Time suddenly felt like it was sliding through his fingers.

  “We didn’t…” Tessa stumbled on her words, hesitating to the point that Sophia looked up at her. “I mean, we didn’t know who, or where…” She faltered again and cast an embarrassed look at him. “Sorry. I obviously didn’t have this very well planned out.”

  He reached across the table, covered her hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Sure you’re a lawyer?”

  She laughed and dropped her head.

  “Is it okay if I try?” he asked. “I mean, you’ve been doing all the heavy lifting up until now.”

  With a sigh, she rested her head in her free hand. “Be my guest.”

  He cut a look at Sophia, who was focused on coloring, then back to Tessa, and whispered, “I can’t, like, really mess her up or anything, right?”

  She laughed. “From this? No.”

  He nodded and looked at Sophia again. “Hey, Sophia.”

  “Hmm?” she looked up and pushed a curl out of her eyes.

  “What your mom was trying to say is that…” His voice caught and threw him off balance. That had never happened before. He pushed through the fear and tried again. “That I’m your dad.”

  The news had no effect on Sophia. She gave him that flat, lost look people got when someone was speaking a foreign language they didn’t understand. Even though Tessa had prepared him for that possibility, the actuality still hit him like a board in the chest.

  “Mommy didn’t know where I was for a while,” he went on, “but she found me, and we want you to know that you have a dad too.”

  Her head tilted a little, and a spark lit her eyes. She looked at Tessa. “I have a daddy?”

  Tessa’s smile wobbled a little. “You do. Zach is your daddy.”

  A visible shot of excitement straightened Sophia’s spine, as if she was just now getting the message. She looked at Zach. “Are you going to live with us?”

  Oh, shit. He hadn’t expected that. His gaze darted to Tessa, who didn’t look surprised at all.

  “No, sweetie,” she said.

  Twirling her crayon, Sophia said, “But Megan’s daddy lives with her. And Taylor’s daddy lives with her.” She looked at Zach. “Can you live with me? We can color and play in the ocean.” She gasped, looked at Tessa, and lowered her voice. “Can I paint Daddy’s nails?”

  Zach burst out laughing and rubbed a hand over his face. “This isn’t how I saw this conversation going.”

  “Kids are good like that,” Tessa said, sliding a hand over Sophia’s soft hair. “Always a challenge.” She turned to Sophia. “No, sweetie, he’s not going to live with us. He lives here, and we live somewhere else. Like Tara’s mommy and daddy.”

  “Why can’t we live here?” Sophia’s brow furrowed, and her expression darkened with an edge of belligerence. “I like it here. It’s not cold. I don’t have to wear jackets. I spend more time with you and play in the ocean.”

  Tessa seemed to pale right in front of Zach’s eyes.

  He rested his elbow on the table and held his head up with his fingers at his temple. When Tessa’s gaze darted to his, he said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have started this.”

  Her mouth flickered into a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes before she returned her attention to Sophia. “It is nice here,” she said. “And we’ll come back and visit. But we can’t live here.”
<
br />   Come back and visit.

  That idea left Zach wholly unsatisfied and more than a little edgy. The occasional visit didn’t fit into his vision of being a father—a vision he hadn’t even realized he had until this very second.

  Sophia turned her attention to the coloring page, a full-blown pout on her adorable face. “I’m hungry.”

  The words held foot-stomping attitude, and Zach had visions of another iced-tea catastrophe.

  “Dinner’s coming,” Tessa assured her, starting to color again. “Help me color this flower. It’s called a hibiscus. Can you say that?”

  “I don’t want dinner,” Sophia complained, looking at Zach and moving Pegasus to the table. “I want ice.”

  He sighed and glanced at Tessa. He was seriously screwing this up, and he didn’t know how to slow this downhill slide.

  But Tessa kept her gaze on the coloring sheet. “Look at this hummingbird, Sophia.”

  Sophia huffed. Her shoulders dropped. “I no want the hummingbird.”

  She dropped her hand to the table, her crayon snapped in half, and Sophia crumbled into tears.

  Jesus Christ. Zach sat back, at a total loss. But Tessa stayed calm. Not one flicker of distress crossed her face.

  “Here you go.” She continued coloring with one hand and offered Sophia a new crayon with the other. “Make his wings green. Do you remember the hummingbird we saw at the Cherry Blossom festival?”

  “Yeah…” Sophia’s distress eased, but her little body still rocked with quick breaths, as if on the verge of tears again.

  Over a broken crayon and delayed dessert.

  “Hey,” he told Tessa softly. “We don’t have to stay—”

  “But I want ice,” Sophia whined, her lower lip quivering. Zach was completely lost, and that look on his baby’s face made him feel like he was coming apart at the seams.

  “You’ll get ice, sweetheart,” Tessa assured her. “The hummingbird’s wings were such a pretty green.”

  Sophia rubbed one fist to her eye. At least he recognized that gesture. Tessa had been right. Sophia was exhausted and needed to go home.

  Zach spotted the waitress coming toward their table. Thank God. If they could get through dinner and just get Sophia her shave ice…

  “Oh,” the waitress said to Sophia. “You’re doing a beautiful job.”

  “Thank you,” she said, still a crayon snap away from meltdown.

  The waitress set down their orders, placing Sophia’s cheese quesadilla down last, and took their glasses to refill their drinks.

  Tessa moved Pegasus toward Zach and positioned Sophia’s plate closer to her, then pulled apart the quesadilla triangles. She picked up one, blew on it, and then offered it to Sophia.

  “No want quesilla.” The way she’d combined the first and last half of the word quesadilla would have been freaking adorable if she hadn’t then crossed her arms on the table, dropped her head against Pegasus, and started sobbing.

  Panic struck Zach’s chest like lightning. He sat forward with the instinct to comfort Sophia, but didn’t know how. When his gaze darted to Tessa, her shoulders slumped, her eyes rolled to the ceiling, and she started counting.

  “One…” she said calmly even though the expression on her face was barely restrained exasperation.

  “No, Mommy,” Sophia said without picking up her head. “No ‘one.’”

  “Two…” Tessa continued.

  Zach leaned toward her, panicked over what would happen at “three.” “We can go—”

  But his whisper was cut off by Tessa’s “Three.”

  Sophia was still fussing, rolling her head back and forth on her arms. Tessa sighed and looked at Zach. Zach held his breath.

  “We’ll be back when Sophia calms—”

  “No!” Sophia lifted her head and yelled. Her face scrunched and red with anger. “No, Mommy.”

  Holy shit. Zach felt like the sky was falling.

  But Tessa just gritted her teeth and smiled as she stood from the table and told Sophia, “Let’s go.”

  “Mommy…” she whined.

  “The longer you fuss, the longer this will take.”

  “What are you doing?” Zach asked, wondering if he should go with them. “Do you want to leave?”

  “Oh no,” she said, this time with knowing determination. “Her tantrums don’t dictate what we do or don’t do. Right, Sophia?”

  Sophia slipped from her chair with a muttered “I no do tantums.”

  “Oh yes, you do, precious.” Tessa stroked her hand over Sophia’s head as the girl started to cry again and took her hand. “You do them very well.” To Zach, she said, “Go ahead and eat. No telling how long this will take.”

  What the hell? “Should I come? I can get the food to go.”

  “No, no. This is just the lesson of the hour. Relax.”

  She walked through the restaurant with Sophia, exiting through the front door, and Zach stared blankly at the stuffed animal abandoned at the table. He had no idea what to do. He didn’t even know what the hell was going on. He sure as heck couldn’t eat.

  “Your family is beautiful.” The voice drew Zach’s attention to an older couple in the next booth. They had to be in their seventies, and both wore quiet, knowing smiles. “Your wife handled that so well.” The older woman glanced at her husband. “Didn’t she, Dick?”

  The man nodded. “Nipped it in the bud. Don’t see many parents doing that nowadays. They let their kids act like mongrels in public.”

  “But she was so nurturing,” the woman said, her gaze moving between Dick and Zach as if conferring. “Respectful.”

  “You respect them,” Dick said, “they’ll respect you.”

  “I, uh…” Zach said, “I’m not very good at this.”

  “You will be,” Dick said. “Comes with experience. In the meantime, your wife is a wonderful example to follow.”

  Wife. Family. Holy crap.

  “That didn’t take long,” the woman said, her gaze angled toward the front door. “I bet she’s a different toddler from the one that walked out.”

  When Zach refocused that direction, he could see Sophia wasn’t crying or fussing, but she still didn’t look happy.

  “Oh, dear,” the older woman said with a little chuckle. “Someone’s tired.”

  “Dead on her feet is more like it,” Dick commented with good nature. “Remember what Tommy was like when he got tired, Helen?”

  The older woman laughed deeply, and by now, Tessa and Sophia approached the table. “Oh, please, don’t remind me. It’s a wonder he survived past the age of four.”

  When Tessa reached the table, she smiled at the older couple.

  “We were just telling your husband,” Helen told Tessa, “that you have a beautiful family. And you handled that like a pro.”

  Tessa laughed softly. “Thank you. She’s strong-willed. I’ve had lots of practice.” When Sophia turned toward her chair, Tessa held her back. “I think you’re forgetting something.”

  Sophia’s gaze lifted to Zach’s. She dropped Tessa’s hand, stepped toward him, and laid her hand on his thigh. The thumb of her other hand moved toward her mouth, but she just played with her bottom lip. “I sorry, Daddy.”

  Shock gripped Zach’s heart. His throat thickened, and his chest ached. While the older couple awwed over Sophia’s sweetness, Zach lifted his gaze to Tessa, and she met it with an apologetic one of her own.

  He tentatively slid his hand over Sophia’s hair. “Thank you, baby.”

  She sidled closer. “Can I sit with you?”

  Then she lifted her arms to him, and Zach melted.

  “Of course.” He pulled her slight weight into his lap, and Sophia cuddled into his chest, making him ache even more.

  She reached for her stuffed animal. “Pegsis.”

  He handed it to her, and Sophia pulled it close.

  “Is that sparagus?” she asked, looking at his plate.

  “It is.” He glanced at Tessa and found her reseat
ed, her chin in her hand.

  “Sophia likes sparagus,” she told him.

  He smiled at the way she’d used Sophia’s word and asked his daughter, “Would you like some?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He picked up the spear of asparagus with his fingers, then shot a look at Tessa to see if that was okay. When she nodded, he offered it to Sophia, who took it and inhaled it.

  The older couple laughed and returned to their own meal, while Zach continued to hand Sophia spear after spear until it was gone.

  He looked at Tessa, who was picking at her own meal. “I can’t believe how much she can eat.”

  Tessa chuckled and pointed her fork at Sophia. “I think she’s done.”

  Zach looked down and found Sophia sound asleep, a half-eaten asparagus spear clutched in her fist. It had to be the cutest thing he’d ever seen, and he swore his heart broke open and leaked all over his insides. “Oh my God.” He ran a hand over her hair. “Poor thing.”

  “Yeah,” Tessa said with a smirk while she collected rice on her fork. “Loved on all morning. Played with all afternoon. It’s tough being Sophia.”

  Zach chuckled, carefully took the asparagus from Sophia’s hand, and wiped her fingers with a napkin. She didn’t so much as flicker her long eyelashes.

  He heaved a sigh. “Disaster averted.”

  “For the moment. Don’t worry, there will be another dozen potential disasters tomorrow.” She put down her fork and stood, offering her arms. “Here, I’ll take her so you can eat.”

  He gathered Sophia close and gave Tessa a shoulder. “No way. This is the freaking highlight of my week.”

  “Zach, I know you’re starving.”

  “I’ll manage.” He lifted his chin toward her dinner. “Sit. Keep your grubby hands off this sleeping angel.”

  “Sleeping being the key word placed before angel when speaking of Sophia Westerly.” She sighed and sat back down. “Suit yourself.”

  She continued with her dinner while smirking at him as he struggled to balance Sophia and eat. In the end, Zach kept one arm wrapped around her small form while he cut everything with the side of his fork. Once, Tessa took pity on him and reached across the table to cut his food for him, making him feel two years old. But better that than letting go of Sophia.