Riptide (A Renegades Novel)

by Skye Jordan

If he were honest, he felt like he was coming apart at the seams. He’d done everything conceivable to calm her over the last two hours after she’d woken just minutes after Tessa had driven away. He’d googled the hell out of “calming a three-year-old,” “how to get your child to stop crying,” and “new dad of a three-year-old,” attempting every rational suggestion. He tried to get her interested in her toys, tried to play games, offered her cookies he’d found in the cupboards, turned on a Disney movie. Hell, he’d tried every freaking cable channel on the damn television to distract her. Nothing had worked longer than sixty seconds.

  Zach had considered calling in Renegades reinforcements in the form of Grace and Lexi. He’d considered calling Tessa and telling her to ditch the conference and get her ass back here. Truth be told, he’d considered a few even sketchier ideas, like carrying Sophia the three-mile distance to the store where he’d picked up the original stuffed animal to buy a new one or grabbing an Uber to the closest shave ice hut.

  In the end, he hadn’t reached out for any of those crutches. Partly because he was embarrassed, partly because he was stubborn, but mostly because his gut told him it was the right thing to do. Because if he was ever going to be able to take care of her on his own, as one of the websites had so sagely advised, he was going to have to learn how to cope through the rough spots.

  But, God, he was exhausted. Everything was hitting him now—the lack of sleep after spending unforgettable nights in bed with Tessa, his rigorous work schedule, the stress of finding out about Sophia and trying to ease into this sudden new role as a father. And, God help him, her crying ripped him to shreds. His whole body hurt with empathy for her distress. He couldn’t imagine everything she’d already endured.

  “D-daddy,” she hiccupped, her voice drenched in anguish, her body as limp as a doll in his arms. “I want Mo-mmy.”

  Zach squeezed his eyes shut as his heart broke. “I know, honey. I’m sorry.” He pressed his face to her feather-soft hair and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

  Sorry he hadn’t known about her. Sorry she’d lost her mother. Sorry he was creating even more upset in her life. Sorry he didn’t know how to be a father to her. Sorry he was causing trouble for Tessa.

  “She’ll be home soon. I promise.” As her cries faded to whimpers, he said, “I’m so tired, baby. Can Daddy lie down? I think it’s past my bedtime.”

  She gave a few choppy breaths. “Will you re-ad me a st-ory?”

  “Sure.” Finally. Something she actually wanted him to do. “Do you have books here?”

  “Ye-yeah. In my room.”

  Zach moved into the bedroom and looked at the clock on the nightstand. Only ten minutes later than when he’d last looked. This had become an endless day, and he couldn’t help but wonder how many times Tessa had felt this way over the last couple of years.

  He chose a handful of books from a pile and moved into the living room again. Propping a pillow against the arm of the sofa, he lay back, stretched his legs over the cushions, and dropped the books in his lap.

  With stuttering breaths and sniffles, Sophia shifted to her side and tucked her head beneath his chin. “I want Pigeon, please.” Zach was sure he’d heard her wrong until she reached out for a book in the middle of the stack. “Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog, please.”

  That was when Zach realized that she’d have to stop crying to listen to him read. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and whispered, “Thank you.”

  And only a few pages into Pigeon’s book, Sophia settled down. She even giggled at the story. After two books, Sophia transitioned into the adorable creature he’d gotten to know. After three, he was sure—despite all the challenges this little angel created in his life—she was burrowed into his heart for all eternity.

  Tessa cradled Pegasus under her arm and tiptoed as softly as she could in heels up the stairs to the condo’s front door. There she paused, tilted her head toward the door, and listened, but she didn’t hear a thing. Not the television, not voices—at least there was no screaming or crying. But she wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad.

  Apprehensive over what she’d find inside, she took her lower lip between her teeth as she slowly depressed the lever on the door handle and pushed it open. If Sophia had been awake most of the time and Zach had finally gotten her to sleep, the last thing Tessa wanted to do was wake her.

  Her view into the foyer didn’t give any hint about what had gone on here over the last three hours, and still, Tessa heard nothing. Which felt weird. Their house was never quiet unless Sophia was sleeping. She closed the door, slipped off her heels, and wandered into the living area that opened to the living room, dining room, and kitchen.

  Tessa grimaced and pressed a hand to her heart. In the living room, every one of the toys they’d brought for Sophia were strewn on the carpet. In the dining room, an open package of cookies sat on the dining room table, crumbs across the surface. The kitchen counter was littered with plastic cups, a milk carton, a jug of apple juice, a soda can.

  She recognized the signs of panic. The kind of panic that came when you had a wildly inconsolable kid on your hands.

  Guilt sank heavily in the pit of her stomach, and she moved deeper into the condo, headed toward the bedroom. But she caught the sight of someone from the corner of her eye and looked at the sofa. Her feet stopped dead, her breath hitched, and her hand moved back to her heart.

  Zach was asleep. And Sophia was sprawled on top of him, passed out. Even in sleep, Zach had a protective arm around Sophia’s waist. Every book they’d brought on the trip was scattered across the coffee table, the floor beside the sofa, and Zach’s lap.

  Tessa lifted her hand to her lips to suppress a laugh and inched closer. Zach’s head lolled to the right, and Sophia’s cheek rested against his chest. With their heads turned the same direction, Tessa got a perfect view of their profiles at the same time, and their resemblance stunned her.

  Sophia shifted in sleep, and Zach’s arm tightened around her. Neither of them opened their eyes, but Sophia took a deep breath, and the air stuttered in, then out of her lungs the way it did when she’d been crying—hard. Then she resettled, and they both went still again.

  The intimacy of the sight shattered all Tessa’s barriers. This was a good man. He’d been dealt a hard blow and had recovered. If not perfectly, damned well. He’d done exactly what he should have done given the situation—one Tessa could read from all the obvious signs. Sophia had woken and been upset to find both her and Pegasus gone, and Zach had done everything he could think of to placate her. Without calling Tessa in a panic.

  Smiling, Tessa sat on the coffee table, drew out her phone, and snapped a picture of the two together.

  Zach’s lashes fluttered, and Tessa put a hand on his free arm, whispering, “I’m home.”

  His eyes opened, and it took him a second to place himself, then he immediately looked down at Sophia. When he saw she was fine, he relaxed again and lifted his free arm to rub at his eyes. “What time is it?”

  Tessa glanced at her phone. “Ten.”

  “Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “They’re still working at four in the freaking morning? That’s insane.”

  “I’ve seen people on the Hill work forty-eight hours straight before on nothing but a cat nap and caffeine. They’re passionate people who do what needs to be done.”

  He sighed and dropped his hand. “That’s just backward.”

  “It shouldn’t sound so foreign,” she said with a smile. “You’re just as passionate and dedicated.” When he just gave her a confused stare, she stood and reached for Sophia. “I’ll put her to bed.”

  He unlocked his arm from around her waist and his expression changed. “Uh-oh.”

  “What?”

  “You might need to change her first.”

  “Why?” But she didn’t need an answer. As soon as she started to lift Sophia, Tessa saw the stain darkening Zach’s shirt. And she started laughing, then tried to squelch it. “I’m sorry.”

&nb
sp; “Oh, well,” Zach said, pulling his shirt away from his body. “A little pee never hurt anyone.”

  Tessa let Sophia rest her head on her shoulder but held the lower part of her body away from her suit.

  “Mommy?” Sophia’s sleepy voice touched her ear. “You’re home.”

  “I’m home, baby.” She pressed a kiss to her hair. “I always come home. You know that.”

  “I cried.”

  “I can tell.”

  “I lost Pegsis, Mommy,” she said, on the verge of tears again.

  “No, you didn’t.” Tessa lifted the stuffed animal and pressed it to Sophia’s chest. “She just wanted to come to work with me tonight.”

  “Pegsis.” Sophia pressed her face against the horse, then turned her head and rested it against the fur. “I not good for Daddy.”

  Zach stood and rubbed her back. “Shh, honey. You were perfect for me. Can I get a kiss good night?”

  Sophia lifted her head and smacked a kiss to Zach’s lips, making him smile. “Night, baby.”

  “Night-night.” But instead of dropping her head back to Tessa’s shoulder, Sophia frowned and looked down. “Oh no. Mommy, I pee my pants.”

  “It’s okay, honey. We’ll get you all cleaned up and tuck you in.”

  She whimpered a little.

  “I’ll be back in a minute,” she told Zach.

  He nodded and ran a hand through his hair as he looked down at his wet T-shirt.

  In the bathroom, Tessa set Sophia on her feet and stripped off her underwear. She let Sophia sit on the area rug while Tessa wet a washcloth with soap and warm water.

  “How was your time with Daddy?” she asked as she lifted Sophia to her feet again and wiped her down. “Why were you crying?”

  “Be-because Daddy couldn’t find Pegsis, and you were gone, and Abby’s not here…” Her voice rose a little more with every word.

  “Okay, okay,” Tessa soothed. “I’m here now, Pegasus is here now, and you’re going to see Abby when we get home. Tell me what you and Daddy did while I was gone.”

  “I cried a lot.”

  Tessa winced. “Uh-huh.”

  “And he tried to play games with me, and he tried to watch movies with me…” Her lashes fluttered as she fought sleep. “But I just cried…”

  “Until you fell asleep?”

  Sophia frowned and thought about it. “No. He read to me. Every book.” She met Tessa’s eyes with a flicker of excitement and held up three fingers. “Two times. No, no.” She opened both her hands and held them up to Tessa. “Five times.”

  “Five times?” she asked with amazement. “Wow, that’s pretty awesome.”

  “Yeah,” she said with a sigh and a sad little look on her face. “Then I pee-peed on him.”

  Tessa bit her lip but still laughed a little. “He’ll get over it.” She finished drying Sophia off and walked her into the bedroom, where she tugged on a pullup and slipped a nightgown over Sophia’s head before carrying her to bed. “Bet you’re ready for some good sleep. You’ve had a really big day.” She tucked Sophia in and sat beside her, brushing curls off her forehead. “I’m glad you had a good time with your daddy.”

  Her lashes flickered a little more before they finally closed, and she murmured, “Can I have some water?”

  “Just a sip.” She leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to Sophia’s forehead, pulling in her baby’s sweet scent. “I’ll get it for you.”

  17

  When Tessa turned into the kitchen, she found Zach standing at the sink with his back to her. He was shirtless, using his tee to clean himself up much the way she had just cleaned up Sophia. Tessa stopped at the threshold between the living room and the small kitchen to admire all the muscles rolling beneath his tanned skin.

  A rush of desire flooded her. God, she wanted him. Knowing she should end their physical relationship to maintain the current goodwill between them didn’t keep the desire from flashing in her blood. She loved the way he made her feel when they were together—like she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever been with. Like she could do no wrong. Like he felt the same bond between them that she did. Like it wasn’t just sex.

  “Hey.” Zach’s voice startled her from her thoughts.

  “Hey.” She continued into the kitchen, slipped off her blazer, and opened the refrigerator door to pull out a bottle of water, then grabbed a plastic tumbler from the cupboard. “I’m really sorry about tonight. That sort of thing doesn’t happen often—”

  His arms circled her, sliding around her waist and pulling her back up against him. Tessa gasped and instinctively stiffened at the sudden intimate contact. Then the front of his body molded to the back of hers, and the desire rushed back in, heavy and hot.

  “Did you do that on purpose?” he asked at her ear, his voice husky and soft.

  “What?”

  “Take Pegasus?”

  She started to bristle at the accusation, but realized his voice held no menace, no anger, not even irritation. In fact, she thought she heard a hint of humor. She glanced over her shoulder to read his expression. Sure enough, he was smiling.

  “Do you really think I’d do that?” she asked.

  “If you did, I wouldn’t blame you. It gave me a crash course in three-year-old damage control.” He turned her in his arms, backed her against the counter, and leaned in. His blue eyes were heavy lidded, his grin fit only for the bedroom. “But I do think you owe me.”

  She lifted her brows. “Owe you?”

  “Owe me some TLC after suffering through three hours of listening to my baby cry.”

  She huffed. “If that’s what you’re owed for a few hours, then I’m owed a lifelong vacation in Belize with a pool boy and a masseuse.”

  His hands slid up her back, then down again. “I’ll be your masseuse…” He pulled away only enough to ease her body from the counter and slip his hands over her hips to her ass. “And your pool boy.”

  With a sigh, he pulled her into him, tilted his head, and pressed his lips to hers. And before she knew it, she’d opened and let him taste her.

  God, how did this happen?

  Tessa pulled out of the kiss but couldn’t find the will to pull away when his lips traveled down her neck.

  “I need…to bring Sophia some water.” But the tingles burning over her skin made her forget all about what she should do. Which was why she was supposed to be putting up barriers.

  She pressed the hand holding the cup to his chest and eased him back. He let her go, but it was too late. Tessa’s whole body already ached to feel him. Her soul needed the relief she found when she was in his arms.

  Tessa pushed the door open wider but paused when she found Sophia sound asleep. She felt Zach before she heard him. He stood close behind her, his heat and presence overwhelming Tessa’s resolve. With his hand on the doorjamb over her head, he murmured, “I think she was overtired.” His words tingled over her neck. “You were right. Between the sun and the surf, she was one toasted little marshmallow.”

  That made Tessa chuckle. “I see a lot of you in her.”

  “You do?”

  Tessa nodded. “When you two were asleep, your profiles aligned. I used to only see Corrine, but now that I know you…”

  Now that she knew him, all her plans had been shot to hell, and her future looked like the aftermath of a tornado.

  She sighed and lowered the cup. Zach’s hand slid down her arm. God, how she wanted to turn into his arms.

  “I didn’t,” she told him, returning to the Pegasus topic, “…do it on purpose, I mean. But I’ll admit that when I saw it in the backseat, I did waffle on whether or not to bring it back.”

  His hand slipped around her waist and pulled her into a familiar and exciting fit against him. “What made you decide to keep it?”

  “Time, really,” she only partially lied. “I looked at the clock and realized I had to choose between getting it back to her or making my meeting on time.”

  He chuckled. “Life’s un
relenting way of making us choose between the things we love.”

  She tilted her head and looked over her shoulder at him, trying to decide if that had been an authentic musing or a deliberate cut. His gaze was on Sophia, and the flicker of pain Tessa saw provided her answer.

  “Tonight was an eye-opener for me,” he said, his voice soft. “For the first hour, I was in a panic with no idea how to help her. The second hour, I was exhausted over my inability to cope. But the last hour…” He drifted for a moment. “The last hour was…powerful.”

  She leaned her head against his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

  “I didn’t think I could handle it, you know? Thought Kerry and Candy were right about me having a kid. I mean, hell…”

  Tessa’s stomach pinched with guilt. She might not have purposely set him up to fail, but she hadn’t gone out of her way to make sure he’d succeed either. And didn’t that make her just as bad as the women on the beach—discounting his ability to care for his own child just because he didn’t have the experience?

  That wasn’t looking out for Sophia’s best interest.

  “What changed?” she asked.

  He sighed, shrugged. “I guess my stubbornness just won out because her energy stores were low. I tried everything I could imagine. I asked her what she wanted. I googled shit on my phone. Damn.” He chuckled, “I’m lucky the kid can talk. I just kept reading and reading. I never want to hear about a pigeon again.”

  That made Tessa laugh. She stroked her hand over his forearm wrapped around her waist. “All parents are inexperienced the first time around. And this situation is more challenging than most.” She sighed and closed her eyes against the desire throbbing at the center of her body. “In so many ways. Too many ways.”

  He groaned, wrapped his other arm around her, and pressed his face against her neck, kissing her there. “How’d your meeting go?”

  She sighed and leaned into him. “We’re running up against some opposition.” She hadn’t had someone to talk about work with for a long time. Not since her last boyfriend, two years before. And she was warmed by his interest. “I knew we would. There’s never a bill that pleases everyone. I just wish it hadn’t happened now, while I’m away. Or when we’re so close to introducing it.”