The Decision

by Patricia Roberts

“Shelby I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe he told you that when you were dating. I know he holds a lot of sorrow over what happened.”

  “I know” Shelby told her. “I guess I didn’t realize how guilty he felt about things. Maybe he has changed his mind about things since you got together.”

  “I don’t think that he has” Shelby said looking down. “I know it is going too hard to tell him but I know that you shouldn’t keep it from him though. He needs to know what is going on and you need to go to a Doctor to make sure everything is running as it should be” Samantha told her getting up to give her a hug. A few hours later Stephen came home to see Shelby sitting out back on their porch swing.

  “Hey baby” he told her coming over to give her a hug. Her eyes looked red like she had been crying and he grew concerned. “What is wrong?” he asked her worried. “I went to the Doctor today” she told him. “Of course how did it go?”

  “I found out what is wrong” she said with tears in her eyes. Stephen’s first thought was her heart. “Is it your heart?” he asked worried. “No” she told him looking down. “Shelby please look at me. Whatever it is we will be alright I promise” he told her. “Alright I told the Doctor my symptoms and they did a test on me. Stephen I don’t know how to say this to you. I am pregnant” she told him.

  “What?” he asked stepping back. “I know that this is something that we were not prepared for but I know that things will be okay” she told him. “I told you I didn’t want kids” he told her angrily. “I know that and I was put on birth control when we got married but I ended up pregnant.”

  “Shelby I don’t think you understand. I can’t be a father.”

  “I know it will be hard at first but I know that you will be an awesome father.”

  “That is not what I am talking about. I promised myself the night that Timothy died that he would be my only one. I will not put myself, or a child through what I had to endure.” Shelby was in shock and didn’t know what to say to him. “Stephen I know your upset but if you would just calm down a little I think that you would realize this isn’t as bad as you think.” Stephen knew that he needed to talk to his counselor so he stood up. “I need to get out of here” he yelled and left the house. Shelby shook on the porch swing as she cried. She knew it was going to be bad but she had never seen him this angry before. She stood up and went to the kitchen to get her phone. She called Samantha and she answered on the first ring.

  “Shelby?” she asked. “He didn’t take it very well” she said sobbing. “What happened?” she asked her. Shelby told her what had happened. “I don’t know where he went” Shelby told her. “Just stay at this house and Ryan and I will go out and look for him.”

  “Alright” she told her. “I am sure he is just fine” she told her and hung up. Samantha had a feeling she knew where he was and they arrived at the cemetery to see Stephen sitting down with a bottle of whiskey beside him. “Oh boy” Ryan said. “Come on” she told him. They walked over to him and sat beside him. “Stephen?” his sister said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “What is your plan?” Ryan asked him. “I don’t have one anymore. I can’t stay married to Shelby now.”

  “What are you talking about?” Samantha asked shocked. “I told her I couldn’t be a father.”

  “Alright I don’t think you’re thinking clearly” she told him. “You don’t know my pain” he yelled out making Samantha cringe. “Alright easy” Ryan told him. “You can’t stay out here all night it’s starting to get cold. Why don’t you come to the house with us?”

  “Fine I don’t have a home anymore anyways” he told them taking another drink. They watched as Stephen went to his truck. “Drive our car home and I will drive him to the house.”

  “What are we going to do?” she asked him. “Pray Samantha, were going to pray for them like we never had before. I don’t know what the outcome of this is going to be” he told her sadly. They made it home and Samantha called Shelby. She was in tears when she was told that he wasn’t coming home. Shelby felt horrible and asked her if she was going to be alright or if she wanted her to come over. Shelby told her she would be fine and went to bed. She ended up crying herself to sleep and wondering how things had got this bad. The next morning Stephen woke up to a pounding headache. He made it downstairs to the kitchen to see Samantha sitting there with a glass of water and Tylenol next to it. Stephen went over and took the pill and downed the whole glass.

  “How are you feeling?” Samantha asked him. “Wonderful” he said sarcastically. “No need to be mean I was just asking.”

  “Where is Ryan at?” him asked her. “He figured someone should be over at the garage this morning” she told him glaring. “Have you talked to her?” he asked her. “Of course I have” she told him. “How is she?” he asked her. “She is miserable Stephen. When are you going to go home?”

  “I can’t right now.”

  “So what are you going to do? Just leave her there and hope for the best” she asked him. “I am not the one that did this she did” he said angrily. “You’re so unbelievable Stephen. You’re going to end up losing a second wife if you’re not careful” she told him slamming the door on the way out. Stephen got angry and through a glass at the wall making it break. He screamed and it felt good to do that. He took a few deep breaths and went to pick up the mess and get dressed. He knew that he needed to talk to Shelby so he went over to the house. She was making breakfast when he walked in.

  “Stephen” she said going near him. “Please don’t, we need to talk” he said stepping back.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “Alright” Shelby said hurt and sat at the table. Stephen took a seat and sighed. “Shelby I don’t know how to say this to you without hurting you but it needs to be said.”

  “Okay” she said worried. “First I want you to know that I love you but I am so angry with you right now. You knew from the moment we started dating that I didn’t want to have another child. I know that you told me that you were on birth control but you could have found other ways. It hurts me to be in the same room with you right now because I feel like you betrayed me” he told her.

  “For right now I don’t think it’s a good idea if we are living together. I need to work through my issues and you need to give me some time. I am sorry Shelby but I can’t be with you right now. There is an office above the garage and I am going to be staying there right now.”

  “Stephen please don’t” Shelby said with tears falling down her face. “Please don’t start crying Shelby. I am not doing this to hurt you” he told her painfully. “I didn’t do this on purpose Stephen” she told him. “You may not have but it still happened and all I see when I look at you is anger” he told her frowning. “I need to go to work. I would like to come by this afternoon after work to get my things and I would like you to be out of the house at that time” he said standing up. “Stephen don’t do this” she begged him.

  Stephen sighed and left the house. He was alright until he drove away and then he punched the steering wheel and cried. He knew he was acting like a jerk to her but he was so hurt by what had happened between them. Shelby stayed in shock for a few hours and then texted her dad to come over. John walked into the house calling her name and seen a sight he never thought that he would see. Shelby came downstairs and looked pale and drained.

  “Shelby” her dad said gasping. “Is it your heart?” he asked her. Shelby didn’t know how to answer him. It wasn’t physically hurting but she felt like her heart was breaking. “I need to talk to you” she told him. “What is it?” he asked her sitting down. “I found out yesterday that I was pregnant” she told him. “Shelby I am so happy for you” John said coming over to hug her which just made her cry more. That was all that she had wanted Stephen to do and now she felt like she had lost him.

  “What is wrong sweetheart? You should be excited” he told her smiling. “I am happy I am having a baby but when I started to date Stephen he told me he didn�
�t want another child. So as soon as I knew we were getting married I went to the doctor and got on birth control. When Stephen found out yesterday I had never seen him so angry before in my life. He left the house and came back this morning. I thought he just needed to let off some steam but he told me he was moving out and he couldn’t be around me” she said with tears in her eyes. John was trying really hard to reign in his anger at Stephen.

  “I am sure he is just upset.”

  “He told me he wanted me out of the house this afternoon so he could pack. He is going to be staying at the garage” she told him. “You know what I don’t want you to worry about anything” he told her. He made sure she was calmed down and left to go to the garage.

  That morning Stephen had been in a horrible mood when he came in. He was about to go get something to eat when a women walked in that looked familiar. “Stephen” she said smiling. “I am sorry do I know you?” he asked her. “I am shocked you don’t remember Lily’s best friend from high school.”

  “Sara Bishop?” he asked shocked. “It’s so good to see you” she told him giving him a hug. “What are you doing here?” he asked her smiling. “Well my dad had a stroke last month and needed some help. I have also got a new job at the school. You’re looking at the new Vice Principal at the elementary school” she told him. “Really my wife is a teacher there.”

  “You got remarried?” she asked smiling. “Yeah” he said looking down. He was about to say more when a door slammed open. John walked inside with murder in his eyes. “We need to talk now” he told him. “John Ryan is that you?” Sara asked him. “Who are you?” he asked angrily. “This is Sara bishop. She was Lily’s best friend.”

  “That is right I remember you. I am sorry to cut this short but I need to talk to Stephen alone.”

  “Sure is everything okay?” she asked concerned. “That depends on your idea of okay. Do you think it’s alright to leave a pregnant wife?” “This is none of your concern” Stephen told him angrily. “You made it my concern when you married my daughter. How did you think she was going to deal with you leaving her this morning? I found my daughter crying and broken when I went over to see her this morning, and you did that to her.”

  “You don’t understand” Stephen told him. “I understand plenty John said furiously to him. “What is going on in here? All of our customers can hear you two screaming” Ryan called out as he and Samantha came in the room. “Why don’t you ask your good friend Stephen? He just moved out of his house. As far as I am concerned you need to stay the hell away from my daughter” John told him leaving angrily.

  “Sara is that you?” Samantha asked confused. “Yes” she said wearily. “I am sorry I just came by to say hello. Maybe we could get together sometime for dinner” she told him. “I would like that I am sorry that you had to see that” Stephen told her as she left. “What is going on?” Ryan asked frowning. “I am moving out and will be staying here” Stephen told them. “Have you completely lost your mind?” Samantha yelled at him. “I can’t be with her right now. Do you think I like that this is happening? Do you think I like the fact that every time that I look at my wife I get angry at her?”

  “You better figure out what you want then Stephen. You already lost one wife and you’re very close to losing another” Samantha told him walking away. Ryan looked at him and shook his head and followed her out. When they left Stephen threw a car part across the room. He knew he needed to go take some medicine before he got out of control. That night when he went over to the house he went upstairs to get his clothes and noticed that Shelby wasn’t there. He made it to the bedroom and found a note addressed to him on the bed. He opened it up and began to read.

  Dear Stephen, this note is one of the hardest things I have ever had to write. I know that you’re angry right now and you want nothing to do with me but I want you to know that I love you. The first moment I laid eyes on you I knew that you were the one. I know that you think I tried to trick you but I promise you that I didn’t. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant because I was respecting your wishes. I have a feeling that my dad came to see you today and if he did then I am sorry for that. I didn’t know who else to run to. You have been my rock for the past year. Saying that I need you to know I will not give up this child because you’re angry. I hope that you can find a place of love in your heart for this child. I know that you would make an awesome father. I know right now you need space and that is what I am going to give you. Please don’t stay away too long. I already miss you so much and I don’t know how to make it without you anymore. I love you more than anything in this world. Your loving wife, Shelby.

  By the end of the letter Stephen was shaking as the tears began to fall. It got him that she wasn’t angry at him at all. She was just worried about him. He grabbed some clothes and left and felt like he was making the biggest mistake of his life. He looked at the house one more time before he sped down the road. He didn’t know that Shelby watched him across the street in her car as he left with tears in her eyes.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Shelby had been miserable for the next two weeks. She kept on expecting him to come home and he never did. She was trying to give him space but she missed her husband. She had gone to her first ultrasound with Samantha and had got to see the baby and hear the heartbeat. They were concerned because of Shelby’s heart and told her as long as she didn’t stress herself out she should be fine for right now. How could she tell the doctor that all her life was right now was stressful? The only people who knew what was going on was Samantha, Ryan, and John. Somehow she had been able to keep it from Cody and Haley but she didn’t know how much longer she could keep it up.

  “This baby looks absolutely adorable” Samantha told her smiling. “Thanks” Shelby said looking down. Samantha was having problems of her own. She had never been as angry at her brother as she had been here lately. He had been hanging out with Sara every chance he got and anytime she tried to talk about Shelby he would change the subject.

  “You know what we should go try out the new pizza joint in town. I hear it’s amazing” Samantha told her. “Alright” Shelby said smiling. “Great come on lets go.”

  Across town Stephen had just pulled into the new pizza joint to meet Sara for lunch. She had been a good friend to him the past few weeks. They had met for dinner and he had told her what had happened. She listened to his side of the story and was patient as he told her but she also tried to make him see reasoning for Shelby. He didn’t hold as much anger anymore and he missed her like crazy. It was hard for him at night because he knew that Shelby liked to cuddle with him when she fell asleep. He made it to lunch and seen Sara waiting for him in a back corner.

  “Hey” he told her smiling. “Hey I went ahead and ordered for us. I remember that you and Lily used to love pepperoni pizza.”

  “Thanks” he told her sitting down. “So how have you been?” she asked him gently. “I miss her a lot.”

  “You know she would take you back with open arms.”

  “I know” he said looking down. “What about you I feel like all I ever talk about is me.”

  “I am doing well. I finally got dad settled with a nurse so that is helping out a lot. I have only made it up to the school a few times but I think I will end up liking it there” she told him. “That is great Shelby seems to like the school also” he told her sadly. “Alright that is it I am tired of seeing you so miserable. You need to go make up with your wife” Sara told him.

  “I know” he told her. “Then what is stopping you?” she asked him smiling. “It’s just I have been gone for two weeks and I know I acted like a fool. What if she doesn’t accept my apology? I mean I still don’t feel great about us having a baby but I love her” he told her. “I don’t know Shelby but from what you have told me she is a very caring person. I don’t think she would end things with you.”

  “People do crazy things when there upset” he said thinking about how stupid he had been. “Speaking of people being upset ha
ve you spoken to John lately?”

  “Not since he came into the garage that day. I know he is so angry with me and he has every right to be.”

  “I am sure he will forgive you” she said blushing. Stephen looked at her. “What?” she asked him. “You know that day that he came in when he recognized you I noticed that you blushed, you just did the same thing” he said smiling. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Of course you do. Do you have the hots for John?” Stephen asked grinning. “Only most of my life” she mumbled. “What?” he asked shocked. “He was a great football player and he was so in love with Hannah he never noticed anyone else but I had the biggest crush on him and Lily used to tease me about it” Sara said laughing.

  “Very interesting” Stephen said. “I just want to thank you for being a good friend” he told her patting her hand. “Of course” Sara said giving him a kiss on the cheek. They didn’t know at that moment that Shelby had witnessed the whole thing.

  “Shelby I am sure that is not what it looks like” Samantha said brokenly. “I need to leave” Shelby said crying. Samantha was about to run after her when she seen that she had dropped the picture of the ultrasound. Samantha sighed and walked straight over to the table.

  “What in the hell is going on over here?” she said glaring at them. “Samantha what are you doing here?” Stephen asked. “You two have been traipsing through town like you’re together for the past two weeks while your wife is suffering. As for what I am doing I just took your wife to go see your baby” she said slamming down the ultrasound pick in front of them. “We came here for lunch because she has been so stressed out having to deal with everything on her own. Imagine her surprise to see Sara kissing her husband.”

  “It’s not what you think” Sara told her uncomfortably. “Really because from where I am standing it looks like you two spend all of your time together and your trying to move in on my brother and his wonderful wife” Samantha said angrily. She looked at her brother to see a look of shock on his face as he looked at the picture. He couldn’t imagine what Shelby was going through right now.