She

by Franceska Krence

  Before Tiff could get the joy of breaking the news for me, I decided to be the bigger person yet again.

  "I see you got together," I smiled at them, "can you step aside now?"

  Kevin still couldn't look at me. It was quite pathetic actually, yet I knew I couldn't of expected any more of him. Other people from the school were now staring at us. I just wanted to get away, this was unneeded.

  "You don't mind that we're a couple?" Tiff asked, confused, probably mad that this didn't work out the way she wanted.

  I was getting impatient by now.

  "No. Is that all?" I didn't bother smiling, sounding quite pissed. Calm down, I reminded myself. Smile. It's alright.

  "He was cheating on you. We've been dating for the past month," she said, smiling.

  Calm down. Don't get mad. Actually no, screw this.

  "Listen, Tiff," I sighed, "If you were dumb enough to quit something you were good at for a person that doesn't care about a thing in the world, apart from something that will potentially destroy his future, which I won't even say out loud, because I certainly don't want to steep so low, then it's your mistake and your problem. In fact, it proves my decision of kicking you out was the best one I've made in a while."

  I took a step towards her.

  "Is it enough or you want to hear more?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

  She stood there looking at me way different than she had before, clear confusion in her face. It seemed like it wasn't just her, but the whole crowd surrounding us that saw me in a different light.

  "Assuming it's still not enough, I'll remind you of something. You trained so hard for that position in the team that you even had to go to a hospital from all the cuts and sprains. You put in all of that effort for what? To throw it away for some guy? Alright, I get it, the team wasn't enough of a motivation... Then how about the scholarship you had lined up thanks to the position and my recommendation?"

  "I'm sorry but all I feel is bad for you," I put my hand on her shoulder, "In fact, I was considering forgiving you if you at least apologized to the team, if not me. But I guess screwing my part-time boyfriend was more important than your future."

  "Now," I smiled at the both of them, "I wish you all the best. Truly. Not that you ever needed my approval, right?"

  The reason people had respect for me was that my parents had money, they ruled the town. I could only assume that from now on they would respect me because of my own actions.

  "I think it's best if you guys go now," Eden chimed in, a slight smirk on her face. She seemed almost proud.

  I had nearly forgotten she was there. But the feeling of her fingers connecting with mine made me question how I could ever forget. That small gesture sent chills down my spine.

  Tiff and Kevin looked between the both of us.

  "Hope you both don't end up the way I think you will," I said sincerely.

  The thought of them together made hundreds of bad scenarios go through my mind. Kevin was an alcoholic, who was lacking love and attention from parents, meanwhile, cheerleading was nearly the only thing Tiff was good at, it kept her parents happy and herself sane. This was just bound to go wrong. But who knows, perhaps two wrongs could make a right, after all?

  Tiff gave me a weak smile, tugging on Kevin's hand, who was still looking anywhere but at me. They walked off, holding hands.

  "Are you alright?" Eden asked, searching my eyes.

  "Why wouldn't I be?" I smiled at her. Here comes the smile again. I just wanted to drop the act.

  "Well you were just dumped and told you were cheated on," she chuckled.

  "Yeah... I just.. You know.. It's different," I mumbled, not knowing the right words. I needed to feel, I wanted to feel, I just couldn't. What was I supposed to say? It was my boyfriend, I should feel something.

  "It's alright, no need to talk about it," Eden smiled at me.

  She dropped the subject, which I was thankful for, as always. School went on, me wishing for it to end already. The practice was the only thing I could look forward to. The only thing that could bring me out of whatever state I was in.

  "Do you want me to wait for you?" Eden asked while I was changing into sports clothes.

  "No, I'll walk," I said, taking the dress off, "thanks for the offer."

  "Alright, as you wish."

  She came to me, giving me a peck.

  "I'll see you later," she winked, walking out just as the other girls started coming in.

  Stacey, one of the cheerleaders eyed me. "So, Ruby.."

  "What is it, Stace?" I asked, putting the top on.

  "I was just wondering what's going on with you and Eden?"

  Thousands of thoughts ran through my head, as my body stiffened. I couldn't put my finger on why I reacted this way thought.

  "Nothing, we're just friends," I smiled.

  Right, that's what we are.

  "If you say so. Just saying, even if it is more, the whole team is here for you," she said, honesty clear in her voice.

  The other cheerleaders in the room nodded, letting me know they were truly there for me.

  "Besides she is hella hot, I don't know how you can be just friends with that girl," Jenna said.

  "Totally, but have you noticed how she looks at Ruby? Gets me every time," Chloe agreed.

  I rolled my eyes, laughing. Eden didn't treat me as anything special, we were just friends.

  "Ruby, since you're friends, you don't mind me making a move on her, right?" Jenna asked, looking at me.

  I felt weird but decided to ignore it.

  "Sure, you have my approval," I laughed, winking at her.

  I didn't say I'd rather she didn't. Because I couldn't explain why. I didn't say how I felt about Eden, because I didn't know myself. We were just friends and I had to remind myself that before I got in too deep.

  ✽✽✽

  The practice ended but I still didn't feel good. I had barely eaten today, feeling quite down.

  Taking my time to walk home, I hoped the fresh air would make me feel better, yet somehow all I wanted to do was hide under my sheets, and stay there forever.

  And so I did when I got home. I just wanted to be alone, away from the world, from anyone.

  I went to sleep, the thought of something not being right not leaving even during my dreams.

  SEVEN

  first time I saw her, was blown away

  she'd stand out in a crowd, anywhere

  ✽✽✽

  I was putting on my Nike Roshes, getting ready for my morning run. It was a beautiful day outside, the sun glazing my skin. I smiled, quite happy with the day already.

  Warming up was needed, right after, I started running, enjoying the chilly breeze the early morning provided.

  Not long after I felt a presence behind me. Somehow I felt I had to get as far away from the person as possible, so I started running faster.

  But so did the darkness behind me. It became faster and I just couldn't keep up. It seemed like a dark cloud and by now it had overtaken me.

  I couldn't see the sun anymore, it felt like the darkness was trying to swallow me whole. Dark arms came out of the darkness, grabbing my neck and squeezing it. I struggled to breathe, but I was still fighting it.

  "Who are you?" I choked out, trying to free myself from the firm grip on my throat.

  The owner of the hands was laughing, scaring me. I could barely hold on anymore. Then the person came closer. I furrowed my brows - it was me.

  The other me used my confusion as a weakness, squeezing my neck even harder.

  "Just give up, Ruby," she smiled, "it's easier."

  I tried to fight back, kicking and hitting, trying to do anything to stop this.

  ~bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~

  "Give up," she whispered, her face even closer now.

  ~bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~

  ~bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~

  I sat up in a second, looking around me, trying to catch my breath. What the hell?

  My hands automatically made their wa
y to my neck, trying to remind myself it was just a nightmare. I still couldn't stop shaking.

  ~bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~

  Right, my phone. Someone was calling.

  "Yeah?" I said, massaging my temples, trying to calm the headache that was currently trying to attack me.

  "What's wrong, Ru" Eden asked, concerned.

  Her voice brought a smile to my lips. A weak one, but still, it was something.

  "Nothing, just sleeping," I looked at my fingers, seeing them shake.

  "Come downstairs," Eden told me, making me get out of my bed in a rush. I was at my door in seconds. Without thinking about it, I unlocked and opened the door.

  She was standing there, her side resting against the doorframe, looking at me, smiling, her eyes digging into the darkest places of my mind. Now this was a sight I wanted to wake up to.

  "Do I have to ask again?" she asked, analyzing me.

  "Wh-" I stuttered, avoiding her gaze, "what?"

  "You're shaking," she stated, taking a step forward, grabbing my hand in hers.

  She was so warm, so collected. It brought a smile to my lips.

  "Just tell me what's wrong," her eyes were burning holes in me.

  It was just a nightmare and I wanted to tell her, but I had a feeling this nightmare was more than that. Something was going on in my mind, my body. I wasn't being myself.

  She placed a strand of hair behind my ear, cupping my cheek.

  "I'm not dropping it this time," she said bluntly. Well, that's unusual. But I knew she meant it, the determination clear in her face.

  "It was just a nightmare," I shrugged, brushing it away.

  "You can talk to me about it if you want to," she assured me.

  I knew I could, I simply chose not to. It seemed to soon, too early to be this close with someone. To crave that level of mental and phsyical intimacy.

  "It was just a nightmare," I repeated, smiling as I leaned in to kiss her.

  She analyzed my face, choosing not to make any comments.

  "You missed the dinner, but you're lucky I brought some for you," she smiled, showing me the food container.

  "Charming as always," I smirked, letting her in.

  ✽✽✽

  "Any plans for the holidays?" Eden asked, a spoon in her mouth.

  "My parents are coming back," I said, my mood immediately brightening.

  "Yeah, now that you mention it, I've never seen them around," she said, taking another scoop of ice cream, watching the Wentworth newest episode.

  "They're busy, have a business to keep up," I shrugged, putting a mouthful of ice cream in my mouth too.

  "Wow, it's delicious," I stated, amazed, not expecting the wondrous sensation in my mouth.

  "Just like you," Eden smirked, kissing me, right after placing a kiss on my nose.

  "You're so cheesy," I laughed.

  "Oh shut up," Eden threw a pillow at me, getting up.

  "Where to?" I asked, focusing back on the TV.

  "Bathroom," she shouted from another room.

  I kept watching Wentworth, seeing another prisoner get beaten up.

  "Ouch," I winced, still eating the ice cream.

  It went on for quite a while and eventually I realized Eden was taking far too long.

  "Ed?" I shouted, getting up from the sofa.

  I walked around the rooms and ended up finding her at the music room. Yes, my parents' house was that big. She was playing the guitar and singing.

  I couldn't help but smile, looking at her. And so did she, while singing.

  She noticed me, looking at me as she sang the rest of lyrics. Putting the guitar down, she took steps towards me.

  "Any other hidden talents you'd like me to know about?" I smiled. She placed an arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

  "There's certainly a few I'd like to show," she said, smirking.

  My mouth suddenly felt dry, as I tried to swallow. Eden placed a kiss on my cheek, exiting the room, leaving me hanging.

  "I missed the whole episode, we need to re-watch it," she said as I followed her back to the living room.

  "No way, that's a waste of my time. We're watching the next one," I laid down on the couch, taking the remote.

  "No, I don't think so. You're not making me miss another episode!" Eden tried to take the remote from me.

  "Well I just did," I grinned, playing the episode.

  "You're unbelievable," Eden groaned, moving away from me.

  "But you still like me," I stated, still grinning.

  "You suck, I'm making the popcorn. What kind would you like?" Eden asked, getting up.

  "Caramel. Thanks," I focused back on the TV.

  Just sitting here, having Eden in my home felt natural, as if she was meant to be here. I've always been a believer in fate, thinking that if something's meant to be, it will be. It just so happened that fate had brought us together. And I couldn't be anymore happy things turned out this way.

  "Here you go," she handed me a bowl, smirking.

  "Now what's up with that smirk?" I asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

  And then I smelt it. I knew what caramel smelt like and it was far from cheese.

  I clenched my jaw, looking at her to find her still smirking. So I took a fistful of popcorn, throwing it in her grinning face.

  "What was that for?" she asked, still grinning.

  "You think you're funny, huh?" I smiled.

  "What you give is what you get," she stuck out her tongue.

  "Lucky for you I love cheese even more."

  I put the bowl aside, crawling to her as I rested my head on her lap.

  She placed a hand on my head, playing with my hair.

  "Hey, Ruby?"

  I didn't look at her, my gaze still fixed on the tv-show.

  "What is it?"

  "You'd tell me if something was bothering you, right?"

  I turned my head, looking at her.

  How could she read me so easily when no one ever did? But I didn't want to bother her, be a burden when I wasn't even sure what was going on myself.

  "You don't need to worry about me, silly," I smiled, placing a hand on her cheek.

  "But I do and I will, so you should just be honest with me."

  "I'm alright," I assured her, pulling her in for a kiss, "But I might get worse if you keep giving me cheese popcorn."

  "Just watch the TV," she laughed.

  EIGHT

  your eyes make me drift away

  your lips becoming the forbidden

  your flesh turning into my world

  your tongue sending me far and beyond

  ✽✽✽

  I woke up, my hand automatically searching for Eden, yet failing to find her. Groaning, I got up and rubbed my eyes.

  "Someone's in a good mood," Eden smiled, handing me a cup of chai latte.

  I took a sip of the heavenly drink, sighing in pleasure.

  "This is so good," I smiled, "thanks."

  "I figured you'd like it. It's a favorite of mine."

  She kissed me on the forehead just as her phone started ringing. As she checked the phone, her expression immediately changed.

  "Why don't you go get ready, while I make breakfast?"

  I nodded, getting up from the sofa we had passed out on the night before.

  "I told you not to call me when I'm out..." I heard Eden talk in hushed tones from the kitchen.

  The change in her voice made me curious as to who the caller was. So instead of going to change, I ended up sneaking closer to the kitchen to be able to listen to her. Curiosity will bring me down someday.

  "Shit, that's not good... Is he okay?"

  She sounded worried.. and mad. Who is "he"? And why wouldn't he be okay?

  "Yes, I know.. I'll figure it out, just tell the others to stay put, otherwise, there'll be consequences."

  The last sentence mixed with her voice that could freeze oceans sent a shiver down my spine. And unlike usually, this one was caused by fear.

  "I s
aid I'll deal with it... That's enough, we'll discuss it when I get there."

  I could tell the call had ended, a loud bang following right after. Before I realized, I was already in the kitchen wathching her slam her fist on the table.

  "Fuck.." she cursed.

  "Are you alright?" my voice was barely audible.

  Her eyes snapped to mine, and I noticed how in a matter of seconds her expression went from ice cold to the familiar everyday one. It was rather scary, to think she could switch like that.

  "Yes, sorry," she smiled awkwardly.

  I looked at the table and realized she was apologizing for the bent in it. I had no idea she was strong enough to bend a table with her fist alone. It was a rather terrifying thought for a girl her size.

  "What was the call about?" I asked, this time me being the one analyzing her.

  "Nothing, just mom scolding me for not giving her heads up about staying here," she shrugged. So this is how it felt like when I lied to her.

  "What's going on, Eden?" I looked at her, searching in her eyes for something, anything that would help me figure this out.

  At moments like this, I would avert my gaze from hers, but she didn't and it made it clear she knew how to convince people. Lying was far more familiar to her than it ever was to me. Needless to say, I lied all the time.

  "I told you already, nothing to worry about," she laughed, stepping closer and putting her arms around my waist.

  "Then why are you lying?" I questioned, furrowing my brows.

  "Just drop it, would you?" she leaned in.

  It wasn't hard to figure out what she was doing. And it made me wonder how many times she'd tried to distract me already combined with how many times she succeeded in doing so.

  I turned my head the other way.

  "I won't, lying isn't something I take lightly. Just tell me what's going on and then we can move on," I said. I could be stubborn too.

  She ran her hand through her hair, her jaw clenched, clearly getting frustrated. "Then why are you lying all the time?" she snapped back.

  I guess when she felt cornered she attacked the other person. A pretty self-destructive and immature technique.