She

by Franceska Krence

  "We heard about Kevin, Princess," dad said, looking at me, "why didn't you tell us?"

  "It doesn't matter dad, I never loved him and never would. It would just end up to be a waste of my time, so the sooner it is over, the better," I shrugged, downing the coffee.

  Mom and dad looked at each other, sharing a silent discussion, leaving me out of it.

  "Ru, is everything alright?" mom asked, concern written across her face.

  I stayed silent, unsure of how to answer.

  "Princess, I know we haven't been here a lot and that you probably don't feel too good about it.." dad started.

  "No, Dad, I'm alright, it's nothing I can't handle," I smiled in an attempt to reassure them. Or was it to reassure myself? The both seemed to be mixed in my head.

  The last thing I'd ever want is for my parents to feel guilty for having a successful business and doing their best to make my life as good as they can. All they'd ever want for me is all the best and that's why they tried their best to provide it for me.

  "We can take some time off or -" dad started again, clearly more concerned.

  "No, no, no. Don't do that, please. I'm telling you, it's fine," I repeated, getting up from the table, my voice a little too high.

  Why was I so stressed? How come this was getting to me? It's not like anything big had happened, seemingly getting harder for me to control my emotions.

  "It's alright, Ru," my mom said softly, getting up and coming next to me, as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

  "No, you don't get it," I tried to say, random tears leaving my eyes.

  "It's alright," my mom repeated, hugging me.

  And that's all I needed to break down sobbing until I passed out.

  I was never a person to admit when I was not okay. I was stubborn and strong. But I had my breaking point, just like everyone else. Only the problem was I held it all in until I just couldn't anymore. And when I couldn't, it exploded, everything. Now, there had only been 2 times when it had happened. The first being when my grandfather died and I'd tried to kill myself, the loneliness getting to me, and the second being now. I wasn't even sure, what was going on with me now though, unlike then.

  As I woke up, I walked downstairs, scared my parents would have left already and I'd spent the time I could have spent with them sleeping.

  "Oh, Ru, you're up," my mom smiled, and so did my dad, both of them cuddled up on the couch.

  "Want to join us, princess?" dad asked, his eyes focusing back on the TV.

  I appreciated how my parents didn't push it, they knew it would make me feel way worse, instead of opening up, I would just close up.

  "Sure," I sat on the ground, my head between their knees.

  Suddenly, an idea came in my mind.

  "By the way, we have new neighbors," I mentioned, "seems like a great family too. You should meet them."

  "Oh, is that so? I guess we should introduce ourselves before we leave then," Mom seemed interested.

  "There's this girl named Eden, she's pretty amazing."

  I tried to sound like I wasn't in too deep with her, but it's clear it was way past that point. She mattered a lot to me, that much was obvious.

  "That's great, she sounds like a nice girl. Are you guys friends already?" dad asked.

  "Yes, kind of," I shrugged, biting my lip, silence taking over the room.

  I tried as hard as I could to push myself out of the comfort zone I was currently it, yet I found it rather hard to break the silence and say something you'd never actually said out loud before, not even to yourself.

  "I like her," I said, looking at the ground, knowing they'd figure it out soon enough anyway, it was too obvious.

  There was a sound and an "ow" that followed right after. I assumed mom had nudged him with her elbow to give some sort of response instead of staring at the back of my head with his mouth hanging open.

  "Well," my dad started, sighing.

  I couldn't help but be scared of what he would say.

  "We're happy for you as long as you are happy," dad said, pausing in an attempt to choose the right words, "no matter whom it's with, princess."

  I breathed out the breath I didn't know I had been holding in, sudden relief washing over me.

  "We appreciate you telling us, sweety," my mom added, patting my head, "just remember, you don't need anyone to be happy, the most important thing is to be happy with yourself first, alright? I hope you'll introduce us with this girl, she must be quite a masterpiece if she had your head turned."

  "Thanks," I nodded, "I'll introduce you soon."

  Another silence. Another attempt to break the silence.

  "By the way," I tried to keep my voice steady, swallowing rather loudly.

  Turning around, I faced my parents, wanting to see their reactions.

  "Do you guys, by any chance, know anything about "the Quietus"?" I asked.

  My dad and mom looked at each other, their expressions different.

  And that's how I knew I was in deep, pardon my french, shit.

  ELEVEN

  it's hard to explain the way I felt

  when all they see is the pretty face

  and all the rest you have inside

  seems nothing but your secret life

  ✽✽✽

  "Ru," my mom asked, her face seemingly stressed, “why are you asking such question out of nowhere?”

  "I'm just wondering, saw an article about them on the internet," I shrugged.

  "Princess, what makes you think we would know anything about them?" dad questioned.

  "Because you are answering my questions with questions," I stated, my eyes analyzing them.

  My parents shared glances again.

  "Stop doing that!" I said, my voice steady.

  "Doing what, Ru?" mom pretended to be clueless, and so did dad. I had to admit - they were pretty good actors, certainly better ones than I.

  "Pretending like I'm not here while you steal glances at each other as if having a conversation. Also answering my questions with questions and pretending not to know anything," I grew more frustrated by second, being fully aware my parents weren't being honest with me.

  "Ruby, don't get involved in that stuff, it's better if you know nothing about it," dads eyes were concerned.

  Mom once again nudged him with her elbow, giving him a pointed stare. As if that wasn't suspicious enough, dad had called me by my name. He never did that unless I was in big trouble, which I wasn't at the moment. At least, that's what I liked to think.

  "So you do know something," I studied their faces, searching for something.

  "Prince-" my dad started, nearly getting up before mom stopped him.

  "Ru, what matters is you have to stay away from "Quietus". There’s no need for you to even think about it," mom gave me the look that didn't leave room for any other answer than "yes".

  "But I don't understand.." I furrowed my brows.

  My mom sensed my confusion, placing a hand on mine.

  "Promise me you'll do that - stay away from them."

  My mouth became dry. I didn't want to look in her eyes.

  "Alright, mom," I smiled, lying smoothly.

  Mom smiled back at me: "okay, now go and make your old parents some popcorn."

  I rolled my eyes, laughing, picking up my laptop: "old my ass, I'm going back to my room."

  "Watch that mouth, beautiful," dad said, but I was already leaving.

  Going upstairs, I placed the laptop on my bed, grabbing a notebook and pen as I hopped next to it. I opened the laptop, my mission clear - find out anything I knew about "Quietus".

  I hated lying to my parents, but I just had to know and if they weren't going to tell me, I would find out myself. Because I felt in my gut that one thing was obvious - Eden won't tell me a thing.

  Before I let guilt get to me, I began breaking into the police system, unfortunately, it had become a thing for me to do in my free time. I had to find something, anything that could get me further with this
case. I decided to go straight after the Blake Harper guy, the only thing that seemed to connect everything together so far.

  ~bzzzzzzzzz~

  ~bzzzzzzzzz~

  I picked up my phone: "yeah?"

  "Where does that serious tone come from, babe?" Eden smoothly asked, probably laughing.

  I ignored her comment: "where'd you disappear this morning?"

  "Oh, I had some stuff to take care of, and when I came back I saw a car in front of the house. Since there was security outside the house, it wasn't hard to figure out your parents were back."

  Security? I rolled my eyes. I hated when there was security around, which was the reason I had made sure I didn't have any. Of course, there were still multiple security systems set up in the house, I was pretty sure my parents also had a secret way to spy on me, to make sure I was alright. Of which I made sure when I'd broken my finger in school, by an accident and seconds later security came rushing in, it wasn't hard to figure out my parents were still protecting me, even if I had no clue of the guard presence at the time.

  "What stuff?" I questioned whilst trying to dig up something about this Blake guy.

  "You know, the usual. Helping mom and so on," she lied smoothly.

  "How is she?" I asked, wondering how long she'd keep on lying to me.

  And suddenly I found the guy. He was way bigger than expected, having worked in special forces, now working for the FBI, which meant he wasn't a regular cop. This guy was something else. I clicked on his picture, taking a closer look at the guy, and for sure, he looked like a way manlier version of Eden. The file, however, said nothing about him having any family, unlike the previous articles I had read about the 2 of the gang leader’s kids going missing.

  "- and then she told me she hasn't seen you for too long," Eden dragged out her lies, "hey, are you still there?"

  I had zoned out, not hearing most of what she said.

  "Is it alright if my parents visit sometime these holidays?" I asked, "I mentioned you both, and they seemed pretty interested in you."

  "Uh... Yeah, sure," Eden's voice sounded off.

  She cleared her throat, changing the subject: "so are you feeling better now?"

  I smiled: "yeah, your kisses and hugs seemingly heal anything."

  "Wanna see what else I can do?" she asked, her tone huskier, I was pretty sure she was smirking.

  "I'd rather feel than see, Harper," I played along.

  There was silence on the other end, my grin growing even bigger, knowing the effect I left on her. She left the same one on me.

  "Be out in 5, gorgeous," she ended the call.

  Trying to decide if I should leave the investigation for tomorrow took a while, however, it wasn't too hard to decide, knowing I was pretty whipped.

  I quickly put on a bomber jacket and my superstars, heading downstairs.

  "I'll be back later, guys! Love you!" I shouted, walking out the door, pretty sure they were making out or doing something else I'd rather not see.

  "Be safe, beautiful!" dad shouted back.

  I smiled, walking out, my face slamming into Eden’s chest.

  "Ow!" I pouted.

  "Don't pretend, babe, we both know my boobs can pretty much replace pillows," she said, smirking and giving me a peck.

  For my surprise the bodyguards hadn't moved an inch, staring someplace else.

  "Hey, Henry," I smiled, "how's Crissy?"

  The head of bodyguards, Henry turned, smiling: "she's doing great, miss Gold."

  I rolled my eyes, pushing his shoulder playfully.

  "I've been telling you for how many years to call me Ru? You should start listening to me or I'll have to tell my parents," I joked.

  "Since the day you started properly talking, miss Gold. You're disturbing my work, get lost before I call your parents," he smirked.

  I flipped him off, smiling as I interlocked my fingers with Edens.

  "So, what's the plan?" I asked, as we walked to her house, where her motorcycle waited for us.

  "I know this amazing Italian place.." she started, but I put my finger on her lips.

  "Say no more," I smirked, placing my hands around her neck, pulling her closer.

  She didn't resist me, immediately answering the kiss. It quickly turned passionate, her nibbling and softly biting my lip driving me crazy. I pushed her against the garage door, running my hands all over her body, eventually my hands finding their way under her shirt.

  "Ruby," she breathed.

  Did she feel the same way I did? I was hanging on by a thread, trying to control myself around this girl. Even the slightest touch from her made me all bothered. Hell, sometimes her voice alone did it.

  She turned us around, so that now I was the one against the wall, but, unlike hers, my front was against the door, while she kissed down my neck, her arms also finding their way underneath my shirt. I couldn't do anything in this position, my arms longing for her body.

  "Eden, please," I pleaded. I wanted to touch her, but it came out more like me begging her to go on.

  She turned me back around, breathing hard. Why did she stop? She pecked my lips, going to the bike and handing me the helmet.

  "If only I'd known that mentioning food turns you on so much.." she laughed, waiting for me. I smiled, flipping her off as I put the helmet on and got on the bike.

  I was falling fast and deep for this girl. Screw that thread I so desperately held on to. She was what I wanted, what made me happy, what finally made me feel alive. If keeping her meant letting go of that thread made of pure fear, then I was willing to do so.

  It was about time, my subconsciousness told me.

  TWELVE

  and I don’t know

  what’s wrong with me

  and why do I feel like

  the dark lives within me

  ✽✽✽

  Eden observed me as I took off my clothes.

  Smirking, I watched her eyes travel up and down my body. I questioned if she felt the same as I did - not being in control of my own body whilst together, as if every inch of my body was supposed to be next, on or beneath hers, always in need of affection and warmth of her presence.

  "Like what you're seeing, Harper?" I teased, winking.

  She raised her eyes to mine, seemingly knocked out of her daydreaming, her full lips soon breaking into a grin.

  "You caught me this time."

  She looked around, almost awkwardly, her grin disappearing soon after. Currently, it was the middle of the night and we had decided to remain on the beach. In our attempts at finding a nice place to eat, we ended up going quite far, yet felt the urge to stop when we saw this beautiful, abandoned spot. It didn't seem to graze Eden's mind that I might end up going swimming.

  "Babe, you only just got your health back to normal, I don't think swimming in the middle of the night is such a good idea," her tone concerned.

  I rolled my eyes: "I told you I'm -"

  And right on cue, a piercing pain shot through my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, placing my hands on my temples, hoping that massaging them would make the sudden headache disappear.

  "Babe?" Eden asked, her hands wrapping around my body protectively, "do you need to sit down or something?" she questioned.

  I nodded, resting my head in the crook of her neck. God, she smelled so good.

  After helping me sit down, she grabbed my clothes in an attempt of putting them back on. I pouted: "but I wanted to go on a swim."

  She clenched her jaw, raising an eyebrow: "yeah, you wish, not when you're like this."

  Overprotectiveness wasn't a trait I adored, however, her being this way seemingly put me at ease.

  I smiled at the irony as she put my hoodie back on: "Honestly, I thought you'd do anything to take my clothes off, yet now you're putting them back on."

  She smirked in return: "oh, I will. Now is not the time though."

  I thought about it, knowing she was right, coming up with an idea to play a little question game in an attempt to f
ind out more about this girl I was seemingly falling for. The headache had caught me by surprise, yet distracting myself seemed to be the best way to deal with it.

  She raised an eyebrow, a smirk on her face: "show me what you got, Gold."

  I leaned into her getting cozier, my head on her chest, hands around her back, our legs tangled together.

  "What did you think when you first saw me?" I asked, honestly interested in her reply.

  She sighed: "I thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever laid my eyes on."

  I laughed, "Well that's obvious, anything else?"

  "Yes, Gold, I wanted to take you there and then," she laughed, "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

  I nodded, grinning, completely content with her response.

  "And what did you think?"

  "You can't use my question as your question!" I complained.

  "I'll ask you another after this one, promise," she laughed.

  "Well I thought you looked like a mysterious badass," I said, smiling at the memory.

  "I get that a lot," she nodded.

  "Oh, and after that, I thought you were crazy," I laughed.

  "I won't even ask," she chuckled, "next question. What are your plans after school?"

  I looked at the sea, taking some time to work out the best fitting reply.

  "I want to have a house, next to the sea, actually, it doesn't even have to be a sea, just someplace, where there is nature as in forest, sea or lake or ocean. I'd like to have my own business just like mom and dad do, but one that would allow me to be with my loved ones, also I'd like to find someone that I could look at like my dad looks at mom and for the other person to look at me the same," I thought some more, "but honestly, all that aside, I just want to be happy and share that happiness with someone - either an animal or a person, I don't care."

  "Well, that's specific," she laughed, shifting underneath me, "why is it so important for you to share that happiness?"

  I turned my head to hers, smiling: "what's the point of being happy if you can't share it?"