She

by Franceska Krence

  "What happened to you?" I asked, squinting my eyes at him. He seemed hurt, showing clearly he'd been through some things in his life.

  He laughed, pouring another one: "sometimes loving with all you have is not enough. There are some things you cannot fix, belle. Just like sometimes, there is nothing more you can do apart from taking a shot, and hoping it'll all go away."

  I furrowed my brows: "I highly question taking a shot will make her pain go away."

  "Who said she's the one hurting? Why would she deserve the pain to go away?" he shrugged, exhaling loudly, "enough with the deep bs, I'm not even drunk yet."

  I smiled, walking over to him, pouring us both one, then downing it.

  "What's with the medicine, belle?" he looked at the shot glass and then at me, analyzing. I guess assassins had a thing for analyzing.

  I shrugged: "one can't hurt, can it?"

  He squinted his eyes, smiling: "you're hiding something, didn't know you could do that."

  I smiled back at him: "we all have stories we don't want to share, don't we?"

  He winked at me, taking another shot.

  "How about I show you my moves?" He grabbed my hand, his butt already shaking to the music.

  I laughed, dancing with him.

  He was right - either you're miserable or not, that's your choice. And since it was obvious I could do nothing to change this situation, I just had to go along with the latter.

  ✽✽✽

  We spent around 2 hours dancing and singing our souls out. This was becoming routine for us. And it was hard to admit, but these guys were growing on me, just like Eden had.

  The doorknob clicked, and the doors opened, revealing Andre.

  "Eden's in her room, was asking for you," he smiled.

  He didn't need to tell me twice, as I rushed out of the room, looking around for the right room.

  "The end of the hallway, on the right," Andre shouted from behind.

  I quickly raced down the hallway, walking in the room.

  Blake was by Eden's bed, quietly discussing something, but soon they realized I was there, their heads turned to me. Eden smiled at me, patting at the space next to her on the bed.

  "Listen, Ruby.." Blake said.

  "It's okay, no explanations needed, I get it," I smiled, "can I please have some alone time with my girlfriend now?"

  He nodded, patting my shoulder on his way out.

  "Hey, baby," I said, climbing in the bed next to her, "how are you feeling?"

  "It's a little uncomfortable, but nothing I can't handle," she winked.

  I intertwined our fingers, my other hand behind her neck.

  "Don't ever scare me like that again, Ed," I whispered, leaving small kisses around her face, "you know... what happened today made me realize a few things."

  "Not today, beautiful," she smiled, shaking her head.

  I nodded, not wanting to argue, not now, not while she's like this.

  "Alright, babe," I took off my jacket, laying down next to her.

  The drunk idiot Luke had made me realize that with certain things in your life, you simply had to accept them the way the were.. While I still would do anything to take down the Quietus to save my girl, I had to learn to accept when she couldn't or wouldn't say more than she does, I had to accept the wall between us until the time for it to fall would come.

  It's only temporary, I promised myself.

  Little did I know, the actual meaning of what Luke had said was less of friendly advice, more of a warning. But let's leave that for later when it all hits me at once.

  TWENTY THREE

  I bled until it hurt, then it didn't

  I cried until it hurt, then it didn't

  I loved until it hurt, then it didn't

  didn't you hurt until I hurt, so you wouldn't?

  ✽✽✽

  "But-" Eden kept on complaining.

  "I told you - you're staying home," Blake's patience was slowly running out. It wasn't hard to figure out from the way his knuckles turned whiter by second.

  "But I-," Eden wouldn't give up.

  "Just leave it and-" Blake was raising his voice.

  This had been going on for nearly half an hour. And I truly had heard enough of this.

  "Will both of you shut up already? Seriously, complaining like two 10-year-olds. Grow up, will you?" I sighed, turning to Eden, "you're not going anywhere, not leaving this bed, unless I say so, got it? Your brother is right, your health is the priority, screw anything else," I turned to Blake, "you know better than let this idiot get to you."

  There was a moment of silence.

  Blake nodded, smiling: "thanks, Ru," he turned to leave, "by the way, welcome to the family."

  I felt a warm feeling spread through my body, it couldn't be explained any differently than happiness. Yet I couldn't help but feel slightly bad for what was the goal in this whole getting close to them thing. Of course, I never acted, I was myself apart from the times I had no other choice but lie or act to protect my mission.

  "You know, it kinda turns me on when you go all bossy on me," Eden smiled, taking my hand in hers.

  I climbed on top of her, putting my legs both side of her body, making sure I wasn't adding any extra weight on her.

  "I know a few more ways to turn you on," I placed small kisses on her jawline and neck, "but I wouldn't want to hold back on our first time."

  "You don't have to," she breathed, "I can handle it."

  I pecked her lips, placing a strand of hair behind her ear and laying down next to her: "you might, but your stitches for sure wouldn't."

  She placed her finger on my chin, drawing a straight line downwards: "just a few more days."

  I smirked, shivers running through my when her finger was crossing my lower stomach: "for someone who has rejected me so many times, you seem quite thirsty."

  She stopped her finger, looking up at me, smiling: "stitches or not, it wouldn't stop me."

  I raised a brow: "but multiple times already-"

  "It was too fast, beautiful," she assured me, leaving no place for arguments.

  I still couldn't bring myself to believe it, when my intuition told me otherwise. Needless to say - my intuition was never wrong. Or perhaps it was currently? Now I even started to doubt myself.

  Yet still, I nodded my head, smiling. I would've believed ghosts were real if only she told me so.

  Lately, I'd started to think that maybe what Eden was doing, maybe the orders weren't coming from Blake or anyone else in the gang. Maybe it was her that put the wall between us. But no matter how much or less I thought about it, it always ended the same - it was absurd, she'd never put our relationship at risk.

  "So what you want to do today apart from not moving from this bed?" I asked.

  "You don't have to stay here, Ru. I just need a little time to heal, so there's nothing you can do for me."

  I ignored her attempt at getting rid of me: "how about I show you a few good movies, since all Blake has in this house is pretty much the worst out there?"

  She raised her brow: "what's wrong with horror?"

  I sighed, picking up a laptop Blake had given us earlier on: "I'll pretend you didn't ask that because it just might have an indelible effect on our relationship."

  She laughed, throwing a small pillow at me, wincing in pain right after the movement. I noticed blood appearing on her shirt.

  "Blake!" I shouted, making sure he'd hear it and rush here.

  "I swear, I'm so going to kick your ass once you're healed," I promised, anger clear in my voice, while I lifted her shirt and undid the gauze that was wrapped around her stomach.

  I hadn't seen the wound close up, so I wasn't that used to the view in front of me, but I still didn't flinch or act in any certain type of a way. One suture at the end of the wound had popped open, a small trail of blood coming out of it. I quickly wiped it with the gauze.

  "What-," Blake walked in, "oh. Luke has prepared something for you downstairs, why don't you check?
" he asked me, trying to make me leave.

  "I'm not leaving, let me help," I stated.

  They both stared at me like it was impossible that the Ruby Gold herself would ever go anywhere near blood or anything related to getting her hands dirty.

  I rolled my eyes: "are you just going to stare at me until she bleeds out or..?"

  The corner of his mouth twitched. He pulled a little medicine bag out from under the bed. When did that get there? Scratch that, they probably had one at each room, in case of emergency.

  He also pulled out a glass container, with a clear liquid and a needle. My eyes widened, that was anesthesia.

  "What the hell? Why didn't you use it when you had to put the sutures in the first time?" I furrowed my brows. This was fucked up.

  He didn't reply, preparing everything, soon after numbing her, then pulling out the suture needle.

  This was beyond my understanding, yet I still tried to make sense of it. The only reason he'd want her to hurt is to punish her. Was it one of their rules? To endure the pain? I guess I'd forgotten they were all killers while playing house with them.

  "Want to do it?" he asked, holding up the needle.

  It was my turn to stare at him like he's nuts. He placed a lot of trust in me if he even dared to ask such a question. Which without a doubt was good for me.

  "I can, if you want me to," I replied honestly.

  Eden was looking between me and him, her mouth open in disbelief. She probably couldn't believe the Quietus gang leader was trusting a random girl to stitch her skin. Not that I was random, but still, it was a tough one to swallow.

  Blake looked at me, analyzing my face, probably thinking if he was making the right decision. It suddenly felt like this decision was far more than giving me a needle or not. But he still smiled and handed it to me.

  I wasted no time doing a horizontal mattress suture, knowing it couldn't be just a simple suture for someone that had abs, after all going to the gym and for doing other activities the suture should have a strength which the horizontal mattress suture provided.

  In less than a minute I was finished, placing a huge plaster on the wound, and wrapping the gauze around her stomach once again.

  They both stared at me, probably once again freaked out I wasn't the girl they'd expected me to be. I guess knowing how to this kind of suture and not even hesitate to do it, made them even more confused.

  I smiled sheepishly: "I used to be into medicine.."

  It wasn't a lie. Hanna had taught me a lot while studying for her exams and even outside of that.

  "Right.." Blake blinked, looking at the suture as he nodded approvingly, "good job."

  "Thanks, boss," I smirked.

  Eden was still staring at me like I'd grown a second head, so Blake excused himself, leaving the room.

  "Scratch that, this turned me on even more," she looked at me, amazed.

  I pecked her lips: "so you better heal quickly."

  TWENTY FOUR

  I went into it blindly

  craving your all so eagerly

  yet it wasn't enough to just crave, to need

  - good times turned so bitterly

  ✽✽✽

  I woke up by another headache piercing through my brain.

  "Great, " I muttered under my breath, getting out of the sheets and heading downstairs after grabbing the pill packages from my bag.

  I made sure not to wake Eden while walking out of the room. As per usual I made sure to stop and appreciate her beauty, but no matter how wild the butterflies in my stomach were, my headache kicked my ass, making me finally leave the room.

  Silently I made my way downstairs and tiptoed to the kitchen. The clock on the wall read 4.12, which made me groan yet another time as I rubbed my eyes with my hands.

  I couldn't go a day without sleep, it was what my body needed - to sleep at least 7 hours to be able to get out of bed. So the fact that my body was slowly stealing my dear sleep time from me, annoyed me even more.

  Opening the packages, I took 1 from each to last me for the following day. Walking to the fridge, I took out water, swallowing the first pill, then the second and then just as I was about to put in the third one, Andre walked in.

  "That's a lot of pills for a virus," he placed a cup in the coffee machine, turning it on.

  "It's a pretty strong one, "I shrugged, swallowing the last one.

  He turned around, a knowing, supportive smile on his lips.

  "I've always had a thing for medicine," he informed me, coming closer as he inspected the packages, nodding their way, "I won't tell her. But keeping this from your girlfriend isn't a good idea, half baked."

  I stared at him, my facial expression not faltering. So he knows. I should've panicked or something, but I didn't. I trusted his words, besides even if he did tell her, it would save me a whole lot of trouble when the time came.

  I smiled: "Thanks."

  He nodded in response. There was a moment of silence, while he seemed to focus on the floor. The coffee machine signaled that the drink was ready. He walked over, grabbing the cup and sipping on it.

  "Your parents don't know," he stated, his eyes not even looking at me," you should tell them."

  Guilt shot through me, making me feel bad. I tried not to think about it. My mom had already lost grandpa over this, I would never put her through it again. I liked to think this was for the better - keeping them in the dark. My parents loved me more than anything, they would do every possible thing to prevent the sickness from spreading. Yet I knew that even with the best doctors, there was a slim chance I'd make it through any surgery. Maybe it was silly, but I at least wanted to give myself a chance to fight it on my own.

  It's almost as if I wanted to prove the world that I, Ruby Gold, could do something, beat something on my own, with nobody's support, only mine.

  "I will," I replied, knowing overthinking this would only make it worse, "eventually."

  "Your parents have the resources, they could get you the best doctors. Many people have survived this, even without an insane amount of money, you know," he explained what I already knew.

  I raised a brow at him, waiting for him to explain his knowledge about this: "my grandpa didn't. But enlighten me as to why you seem to know so much."

  He averted his gaze to the cup: "med school with a mixture of neurosurgical residency."

  My brows shot upwards, my mouth parted in shock:" what? "

  He shrugged, sipping the coffee: "long story."

  I nodded, accepting the response. I couldn't judge him for keeping a secret when I was doing that with everyone I cared about, yet it made me wonder how the hell he ended up here.

  The clock now read 4.37:" I better get some sleep."

  He nodded: "see you in the morning, half baked."

  I winked at him: "you too."

  Soon after I was back in the bed with my gorgeous girlfriend. When she felt me climb back in the bed, her eyes fluttered open: "where were you?" she whispered, taking my hand and kissing it.

  "Water," I explained, wrapping my hand around her, her body itching away from my hand.

  "You're cold," she complained.

  I smirked, nuzzling my nose in the crook her neck: "And you're hot."

  She laughed: "I get that a lot."

  "Bet you do, babe," placing a kiss on her neck, I closed my eyes.

  I had nearly fallen asleep when her voice awakened me: "Are you asleep?"

  "Not anymore," I whispered, still between asleep and awake.

  "I just.." she took a while to gather herself, "I never expected you to be like this. I wish I'd known from the very beginning.."

  I tilted my head, looking at her with my brows furrowed: "known what?"

  She looked at me for a second, her eyes saying it all, the things she wouldn't dare to say. It felt as if she was a puzzle I was not yet capable of solving.

  But then she kissed my arm, closing her eyes: "I'll tell you. Soon."

  And I obeyed, leaning into he
r, wrapping my arms around her. I knew how vulnerable, how blind I was for this girl. I had given her my all and was fully ready to do it again in a heartbeat. She was worth being blind for. The problem with being so in love with a person is that it becomes all you see, all you want to see.

  Most of the time, you don't even see what's right in front of your eyes.

  ✽✽✽

  "How about Monopoly?" I asked, trying to keep my enthusiasm high.

  Eden once again made a mee sound, indicating that's not good enough for her.