Falling Into the Black

by Lauren Runow

  Just sex. Nothing else.

  Cole is supposed to be coming to my house tonight, but he’s going to get the surprise of his life when he finds a note on my door saying I’m here. Oh, but guess what? Since he turned in his resignation, he can’t get in, and the bouncers have strict orders not to let him in for any reason.

  When I walk in, I see Secret standing at the bar, looking straight at the door, like he’s waiting for me to walk in. His lips pull up into a smirk, and my anger turns to excitement, knowing I’m finally going to get him tonight.

  I go straight to him. “Do I get to know your name yet?”

  He shakes his head.

  “Are you going to talk tonight?”

  He shakes his head again.

  “Good. Follow me.”

  This will be perfect.

  He pauses, looking around like he’s searching for Cole, and I turn to him. “He’s not coming tonight. It’s just you and me. Are you okay with that?”

  His smile lights up what I can see of his face as he nods and continues walking to our spot, this time taking the lead.

  Lightly touching my arms, he guides me to the bed where he drops to his knees. After running his fingers down my arms until he’s holding my hands, he brings them up to his mouth and kisses each one.

  Placing them on my sides, he leans in, quickly pressing his lips to mine before moving down my neck, over my cleavage, down my waist until he’s kissing his way down my legs to remove each shoe.

  Leaning back, he carefully removes his shirt, and for the first time, I get to see the muscles that make up this mysterious man. Every line and every curve are carefully constructed, telling me he either spends hours at a gym or is in some kind of construction. When he runs his fingers up my legs again, I know it’s not the latter.

  My body falls back against the bed, feeling what he’s doing to me. His hands are soft yet firm. I can feel the roughness from where a weightlifting bar would leave a mark but not where it tells me he uses his hands for manual labor. The way they rub over my body, like he’s on his knees, worshiping over me, is something I haven’t felt in years. Not since—No!

  I push the idea out of my head and focus on the now. My head tilts to the side where I can view another scene going on and the sight fuels my fire more. I’m not here for this kind of sex. I’m here to fuck.

  Bringing myself back up, I reach down to unzip his pants, ready to get this party going. He stops me, though.

  “Let’s not rush,” he whispers out in the same harsh voice.

  Right at this second, for the first time, the voice doesn’t turn me on and him saying not to rush actually frustrates me.

  Taking a deep breath, I look over at the scene again, trying to change my mood and rid my brain of my sudden thoughts of the past.

  His hands grip my waist, lifting them up slightly before slowly removing my panties, in what feels like one centimeter at a time. He’s going so slowly like he’s savoring each second, and I’m starting to go insane. I’m here for a release, nothing else.

  I release my bra, trying to move things along, but nervous, with the attitude I’ve found myself in, if he grabs my nipples the way men like to do I might explode. I’m not in the mood for that and sometimes wish I could just come out and say this is what I like and what I don’t like before I even kiss a guy.

  The gods must be looking down on me because to my amazement, he doesn’t even touch my nipples. Instead, he grips my entire breast underneath, softly kneading it with his hands and licking everywhere except there. It’s been years since I’ve enjoyed my breasts being played with, and I drop my head back, praising this guy for helping to bring me out of my funk.

  When his lips finally reach mine, a familiarity rings through my body and within an instant, I’m lost in his lips, wanting him more now than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life. The surge running through me lights my soul on fire, and I only want more.

  Finally, he allows my hands to unbuckle his pants and slide them down his legs, revealing a lower half that rivals his upper half.

  Our lips stay locked in a passionate kiss while he holds me tightly with one hand and runs his fingers through my hair with the other. I feel so alive, so secure in his arms and for a brief moment, it’s not until I hear the cries from someone in another scene that I remember where we are.

  Pulling back, I try to regain my sense of this is just fucking, while he kisses his way down my stomach again. Once the condom he reached for from the table is secure, he still doesn’t push inside.

  Instead, he runs his fingers over my stomach, almost as if he’s searching for something. When he finds the small stretch mark I have hidden on my hip, he leans down, softly kissing it before sliding inside me. He reaches his arms around my body, holding me tightly and slowly pulling in and out.

  Everything feels different. This is nothing like what I’ve felt in this club, yet it’s everything I’ve wanted for so long. The way his body molds to mine, the way I can feel his heart beat and his breath on my neck, the way he’s holding on to me like he can’t believe I’m here, and what surprises me the most is the way I’m holding him back.

  My emotions run wild with every purposeful pulse he makes. I never want this to end, but I feel the deep burn building low, and I know there’s no way to stop it, no matter how much I fight it. This man has taken complete control of my body, and I’m a slave to his touch.

  My heart starts to pound as my breathing becomes more erratic, and when he pushes me over the edge, my body clenches around his and to my complete amazement, he stops. He thrusts once more inside me then holds it there, waiting for me to ride my wave and feel every ounce of release his body just gave me.

  It’s perfect, it’s what I want every guy to do when I cum, it’s what—

  No. No. No. There’s no way.

  “It is me,” he whispers in my ear, answering the question flying through my brain, and I jump up, trying to push him off me.

  He moves, and I push myself back on the bed, but he doesn’t let me get too far. He grabs my wrist and turns it over, revealing my tattoo. I sit, frozen in fear, as he removes his thick watch, uncovering his matching one.

  “It’s me, Evangeline,” he says in his real voice, and I gasp in recognition.

  I always loved the way he said my name and knowing I’d never hear it again is another reason why I changed it to Angie. Hearing it now, though, I’ve never been so lost, so scared, so completely out of my mind that I don’t know what to do.

  So I do what I know best.

  I run.

  I run naked to the exit, grabbing my wrap dress and running out, not even bothering to look for my shoes.

  “Evangeline, stop!” Cole yells from the open door of his car as he runs after me outside the club.

  “No. Go away, Cole!” I yell as I run down the street to where I’m parked, still pulling together my dress.

  The bouncer runs after me as well. “Sir, you need to back off,” he yells to Cole.

  I reach my car and turn to see Cole twenty feet away holding his hands up, saying, “Evangeline, talk to me. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  “This is all your fault!” I yell back.

  “Sir,” the bouncer warns, and Cole takes another step back.

  “What did I do? Talk to me,” Cole begs.

  “I had no intention of coming back to this club. I was willing to give us a go. To only be with you. But you went and fucked up. You pushed me to come back.”

  “What are you talking about?” he yells.

  “I would have never come back. I would have never known. I didn’t want to know,” I cry out, falling to my knees in front of my car.

  “Know what?” Cole plays dumb, but if only he knew how really fucked up this is.

  “About me,” Carter yells out as he calmly walks around the corner.

  Cole looks at Carter who, for the first time, doesn’t have his mask on, and I see it. It’s really him. He’s changed a lot. Much big
ger and his head is close shaven, but deep down, I know it’s him.

  The bouncer looks around, trying to figure out the situation.

  Carter tries to run to me, but the bouncer stops him. “I don’t think so,” he says.

  “I need to talk to her,” Carter announces.

  “You need to stay away,” Cole demands.

  “What the fuck, Cole? You don’t know? This is her. The girl I’ve talked about for all these years.”

  “I know!” he yells back.

  “You knew?” I scream out. “How could you possibly know? Oh my God, that’s why you tried to kick him out of the club.”

  “You tried to kick me out?” Carter questions Cole. “What the fuck, man?”

  “I was just trying to protect her.”

  “From what? From me?”

  “Yes, from you. Obviously, she ran from you for a reason.”

  Carter lunges at Cole. “You knew what she meant to me. You knew how long I’ve searched for her.”

  The bouncer runs to them, pulling Carter off him after he gets in a few punches.

  “Stop!” I scream at the top of my lungs. “Both you of you, just stop.” I open my door. “I don’t ever want to see either of you, ever again!”

  “Evangeline,” they both yell, but the bouncer stops them from getting any closer to me.

  “Let her go,” he demands, towering over both of them, daring them to try anything.

  And I do. I go. I just don’t know where yet.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Carter

  I knew she’d freak out, but I didn’t think she’d have that drastic of a response. I ran after her, but when I saw Cole standing there, waiting, I froze, not sure what was going on. Why the hell would he be there, and outside the club at that?

  Something else is going on, and as I sat there, listening to their exchange, I heard my worst fears. I knew he liked her, but hearing that she was willing to give up the club to be in a relationship with him gutted me.

  But when I heard he tried to get me kicked out of the club all I saw was red. Cole’s been my one friend, the guy who knows everything and has been there through it all. The first four years after we split I spent looking for her but never thought about the baby.

  It wasn’t until I moved to San Francisco that I started looking into anything I could do legally to know where my baby is, and Cole is the one who helped me.

  I poured my heart out to him many times and to hear him stab me in the back like that pushed me over the edge, and friends or not, I wanted to kill him.

  Thank God, the bouncer was there to stop me, and Cole was smart, getting in his car and leaving. The only shitty thing is he probably followed Evangeline, and here I am, sitting outside the club like an asshole since I left the keys to my car inside, along with my wallet and shoes.

  The bouncer stares at me like I’ve done something wrong, but dealing with him is the last of my worries, so without saying anything, I walk back to the entrance, grab my stuff and head out.

  I know I’ll be hearing about this. There’s no way they’d allow someone to leave this club that upset and not try to figure out why.

  The City may only be seven square miles, but when you’re driving around aimlessly searching for one car, in particular, it may as well be a million.

  After an hour, I finally realize it’s hopeless, so I drive to Cole’s place. When I don’t see his car, rage fills me again.

  He has to be with her.

  Without thinking I call him, ready to light his ass up, even if it’s on his voicemail, but when he answers, I wasn’t expecting what I heard.

  “She’s gone. What the fuck did you do?”

  “What did I do? What did you do?”

  “Fuck, Carter. You need to back off. I really like this girl, and she was giving us a shot.”

  I laugh. “A shot? You’re kidding me, right? You knew who she was to me,” I yell, “yet you were going to try to keep her from me?”

  “Yes, I was. I’ll admit it. She left you years ago, and now it’s my turn.”

  “Your turn?” My voice gets even louder, astonished to hear what’s coming out of his mouth. “She gave birth to my child.”

  “Yeah, that she gave up and never told you about. Or did you forget?”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Right back at you,” he demands before hanging up the phone, leaving me no closer to finding her.

  Evangeline

  I couldn’t go home, I knew that much. Cole knew where I lived, and I needed to be away from him right now. I couldn’t go to my friends’ house because how in the world would I even begin to tell them how fucked up things have gotten.

  So I turned to the only person I knew who would understand, and, more importantly, where I could speak freely about what just went down.

  My tears faded when I saw the rage that Carter and Cole had toward each other but when Kamii opened her front door, they came again in full strength, and I had to hold on to the railing to keep myself from falling to the ground.

  “Angie, what happened?” she asks, running out to catch me and hold me tightly.

  I feel bad knocking on her door like this, but I turned off my phone as soon as I got in my car, so I couldn’t call to give her a heads-up I was coming over. I didn’t want to risk seeing Cole calling me, so instead of having to ignore it, I shut it down completely.

  “It’s him,” I cry out, gasping for air through my tears, unable to say anything else.

  “Who’s him?” she asks, moving my hair away from my face.

  “The guy I told you about the other day.”

  The look on her face almost makes me laugh. She’s putting two and two together, and I’m waiting for her ah-ha moment to hit. Her eyebrows pinch together, and she says, “That you dated from high school?”

  I nod, letting the tears flow heavier down my face.

  “Warroad is the father of your son?”

  “Warroad?” I say in disbelief. “Is that his club name?”

  Of course, she knew this entire time what his club name was. The thought makes me ill. If she had just slipped once, or if I found his paperwork on accident when we were going over club business. I can’t even imagine what I would have done.

  “Yes. Why? Does it mean something to you?”

  I shake my head in shock. That’s why he never wanted me to know his club name. “Yes, it’s the town we grew up in,” I whisper out.

  My legs get weak, and I fall fully into her arms. She holds me tightly and walks me into her house, guiding me to the couch where she sits me down and holds me into her chest.

  I cry till I have nothing left.

  “Did you really not know it was him?” she asks softly, I’m sure in the same shock I am about the entire situation.

  “I know, right?” I sit back, wiping my tears. “But, ugh, he’s changed a lot. I mean a lot. In high school, he was on the skinny side. He never lifted weights. I told you, more of a book nerd. Now he’s built with muscles almost twice the size they were back then. He shaves his head now too where he always wore it longer back home. And remember how I told you he spoke differently like he was trying to disguise his voice? Well, now I know why. He must have known the entire time.”

  The thought makes me sit up straighter, suddenly pissed. “Shit. He knew the entire time! His mask, it covered most of his face and, fuck, he got a new one right after the night I first met him. He knew! How could he do this to me?”

  Images of all of our times together flash through my head, and now I’m more pissed at myself. Here I thought he was playing a game, being secretive to make my experience more exciting, and the whole time he was only playing me for a fool. I was so stuck on the excitement of not knowing who he was that I didn’t see past his façade.

  “I feel so stupid,” I say, burying my face in my hands.

  Kamii reaches out to me. “No, sweetie, don’t say that. You didn’t know, and for some reason, he didn’t want you to. At least not then.”


  I bite my lip, looking up at the ceiling, trying not to cry again.

  “So how did you finally find out?”

  “It was his game. Shit.” I stop, shaking my head as I think back to us being together. “He was dropping hints left and right. He wanted me to figure out it was him.”

  “So did you or did he say something?”

  I look up at her, tears forming in my eyes again. “I did.”

  Kamii’s arms wrap around me again. I can’t believe I knew it was him just by his touch. Shit, by his kiss. That’s why I’d get so lost. Even Cole saw it, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it then.

  “Wait, but I forgot to tell you about Cole,” I say, throwing the pillow off me that I grabbed for comfort when I first sat down.

  “He wasn’t there tonight, right? He wasn’t on the list, so he shouldn’t have been,” she confirms.

  “No. He wasn’t, but he was waiting outside. But that’s not what I’m getting at. He knew.”

  “He knew what?”

  “He knew Carter and I had a past. That’s why he was trying to get him kicked out. So I wouldn’t figure out who he was.”

  Anger fills me again, and I stand up, not able to sit anymore.

  “Holy schmoly!” Kamii says in shock.

  “There was a scene outside the club, and the bouncer had to pull the two of them off each other after I asked Cole why he’d do that.”

  “Angie…” She stands up to hug me again.

  I take a few deep breaths, letting her embrace me, calm me down, and bring me back to reality. Even though I have no idea what my reality even is now.

  “Can I stay here tonight?” I finally ask when I pull away.

  “Of course, sweetie.”

  “Cole knows where I live, and I can’t face him tonight,” I admit, embarrassed I have nowhere else to go.

  “You can stay as long as you want. I’ll go get some blankets for the spare room then we’ll get that pint of ice cream from the fridge and binge. Sound good?”

  I let out a small laugh. “Please. I can’t thank you enough,” I say, stopping her before she walks to the kitchen.

  “Anytime. I’m glad you came here. Shoot, I need the ice cream probably more than you do.” She winks.