“Oh. So, she’s here now?” Confusion made her answers short and to the point. He hadn’t been hiding from her like she’d thought.
“Yes.”
“How long has she been here?” With each question, things were growing clearer, and nothing was as it had appeared.
“A few weeks.” He finally met her stare. His eyes were dark and sad, full of concern.
She wanted to reach out and hold him. The instinct to comfort him was strong. Any anger that she still held disappeared for the moment. The look in his eyes told her that he wanted to talk. So she encouraged him. “You got your second opinion?”
“Yes. But it didn’t change the outcome. They operated and removed her thyroid. That was the same day as your ultrasound appointment. She had complications… I was so worried about losing her. Then I got the reminder about your appointment. It was too late. I’d already missed it.” He hung his head, the hurt showed in his solemn expression. “I didn’t mean to. I swear.”
“Oh Kaden, she’s your mom. Please don’t feel bad about this. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t care about that right now. Your mom, she needed you.”
“She wouldn’t let me hover like I wanted to. She’s so hard-headed. She was out of commission for maybe a day, if that. I only missed one practice, and she told me that was enough. When your mom tells you not to miss any more days at your job, you listen. Right?” He creased his brow and let out an uncomfortable chuckle.
“Yeah, I guess.” Things were starting to fall into place for her. It had been about his mom. Alison grabbed the sleeve of his suit jacket, pulling his hand off the steering wheel. She slid her hand into his. “I wish you would’ve told me.”
“I didn’t want you to worry. You’re growing our baby, and you didn’t need the stress. I read it was bad for the pregnancy. It seemed like the right thing to do.” He was completely serious in saying that.
“That’s ironic. Because I’ve done nothing but stress.” If it weren’t so serious, it would’ve been funny. He’d thought he was helping, yet he had just made things worse.
“What?” Stunned by her words, his face fell.
His sad expression made her heart ache. “Kaden, I have been a mess. Ask Hailee; she kept trying to talk me down… Wait a minute. Did they know?”
“Dom knew, and I found out last night that Hailee did, too.”
She tried to let go of his hand, aggravated, and her face was now burning.
But he wouldn’t let her go. “I had the best of intentions. You have to believe me. Everything that I read… All the books say to avoid stress, especially in the first trimester. Which I assume you’re just at the end of, right? I was trying to do the right thing. I didn’t want to hurt the baby, or you. I’ve been worried sick about my mom, spending every extra moment with her and my sister. She’s my mom. I’ve already lost my dad. I can’t lose her, too. But when I wasn’t worrying about her, I was thinking about you. We talked about you, too.”
Her heart warmed at the thought of him being concerned about her and the pregnancy. That’s why he would send random messages, including the “I miss you.” Just so she knew he was concerned and thinking about her.
Did he say “the books say’”? Was he reading pregnancy books? He was doing his best, even if it was ass-backwards. What girl could resist that?
“Doll, I’m sorry if I stressed you out; it was never my intention. I hope you know that.” He ran the knuckle of his free hand down the side of her cheek.
“Kaden, I’m sorry about your mom. How is she feeling now?”
His strong hand on her face made her pulse race.
“Oh, she’s getting antsy. They’re ready to go home, but I’m not ready for them to leave. She refused to stay with me, saying I needed my space. So I put them up in a hotel suite. But I’ve been spending almost every day there.” His eyes softened around the corners, and a smile fought at his lips. “She knows you’re special to me. I want you to meet her before she goes home. And I’m sure that will be soon, if she has anything to say about it. What do you say?”
“She doesn’t know about…?” Alison put her hand on her stomach.
“No. I didn’t know what to do about that. I thought telling her might make her fight harder, but I didn’t want to overstep by telling her if you didn’t want me to yet. We never got to talk about all that.”
“Well, I think it’s about time we change that.”
* * * *
The reception hall was packed with family and friends. A low, happy hum filled the room along with dinner music. Alison was seated too far away from Kaden for her liking. They were starting to reconnect, and she was hoping to continue. She pushed her chicken around her plate; it all looked delicious, but she wasn’t really in the mood for real food. Or maybe baby wasn’t. The table of cookies that sat across the room was what she really wanted.
Her eyes were glued on Kaden talking with Dom. Her heart warmed at the way they were both laughing and carrying on. His smile was big and bright and his laugh jovial. Looking away, she scanned the room while she picked at the food on her plate. The vegetables were good, and necessary. After managing to eat a few bites of chicken, she gave up and ventured to the cookie table.
Filling up a dessert plate with all her favorite cookies, her mouth watered and bubbles gurgled in her belly. At this point of her pregnancy, she was pretty sure that sensation was the baby moving.
The guests were mostly still eating and conversing. The Renegades’ tables seemed to be the loudest. They were all here. It’s nice how close they all are, here celebrating Dom’s big day.
A voice from behind startled her. “Do you really think you ate enough dinner to be eating cookies?” She turned to see Kaden’s wide grin that reached clear to his eyes. He looked at the floor and ran his thumb over his bottom lip, as if he were trying to hide his smile, but it was too late.
“It’s a special occasion; it’s okay to be a little bad.” She meant the cookies, but the twinkle in his eye when she said those words brought back very good memories between them. He was always fun to be bad with. “I was talking about the cookies. Plus, not only did I eat my vegetables, but I’ve been watching hockey players inhale cookies faster than I can. I doubt they are on the approved foods list, so I think I’m entitled.”
“So, we’re good for now?” He jostled back and forth, obviously nervous, before he gently slid his hand into hers.
“Yeah. I mean, we have some things to discuss still. But we’re on the right track.” It just doesn’t feel right being away from him. Her heart wanted to let him back in, and her brain was slowly being convinced.
“Can I have your attention, please?” The DJ’s voice filled the room and the guests grew quiet. “Can we have the bride and groom up here on the dance floor, please? It’s time for that first dance.”
Dancing. That meant she and Kaden would have to dance to the next song. Being that close to him was bound to stir up all sorts of things that maybe she wasn’t ready for. These pregnancy hormones are no joke, and I have zero control over them. Being in control was never one of her strengths to begin with, especially around Kaden. That was one of the reasons their being together was so fun.
The lights dimmed, and all eyes were on the new couple.
“Hailee outdid herself with the planning. Every single second of today has been so full of romance and absolutely beautiful. She worked very hard, and it all paid off.” Hailee and Dom swayed in perfect rhythm as words about everlasting love filled the ballroom.
Once the song concluded, the first dance was over. Her heart rate increased and her nerves picked up. Her legs felt like jelly as she concentrated on standing.
The DJ spoke again. “Now, can we have the maid of honor and the best man join the new couple on the dance floor?”
“Ready?” Kaden held his hand out to her.
Her brain was in no way ready to be that close to him, but her body craved it. Again, letting her heart take the lead, she smiled and decided to see ho
w this turned out.
“Sure.” Slipping her hand into his, they took their place on the dance floor.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Kaden
On the dance floor, Kaden’s focus was solely on Ali. Trying to be a gentleman, especially since they’d only just started to get back on good terms, he kept her at arm’s length at first. But his hands couldn’t help their innocent exploration, traveling from her back to her hips. Alison’s body slowly moved closer to his, and the reaction of his dick was less than subtle. He was trying to go slow, but being this close to her was making that difficult.
Their bodies moved to the slow, sexy music. Every inch of him was aware of her. She smelled sweet, like strawberries. Her baby bump was barely noticeable, but he could feel the slight swell against his middle.
As the music played, she moved closer still until she was pressed against him and her arms were wrapped around his waist. Kaden could feel her heart beat against his chest when her head rested on his shoulder. Maybe she was just playing nice for the sake of Hailee’s wedding. But the way her body was talking to him, he hoped it was for real.
Whatever was going on here, he couldn’t have planned it any better. She wasn’t pulling away from him, completely the opposite. He’d read about pregnancy hormones; maybe that’s what this was, but he didn’t care. There was no hiding the response from his dick, so obviously, she didn’t mind either.
The song ended too soon, and a faster-paced one took its place. Ali lifted her head from his shoulder. Some couples dispersed back into the crowds sitting at the tables, while new couples joined the dance floor and began moving to the beat.
Kaden looked down at Alison’s small but inflated belly touching his. He couldn’t help the feelings running through him. Why couldn’t they play another slow song so this moment we’re having wouldn’t have to end?
“C’mere.” Kaden grabbed her hand before she could run in the other direction, and pulled her towards the cookie tables. “Can I get you anything? Cookies?” This is what he should be doing, doting over her, taking care of her.
Ali shook her head, while looking more than interested at the cookies. Putting her hand up in protest, her words said one thing, and her eyes said another. “No, I’m fine. I’ve had plenty. I shouldn’t have any more.”
He knew her enough to know her favorite cookie was on that table. He’d caught her eating a few earlier. Even as she insisted she didn’t want anything, he grabbed a small plate and placed a few lady locks on it for her, and a few cookies for himself. Pushing the plate towards her, he said with a laugh, “Liar. I know these are your favorite, and I bet the baby enjoys them just as much.”
A small smile crept along her lips as she took one and popped it into her mouth, powdered sugar leaving a trail on her lips. He’d missed kissing those lips and wished he could kiss the sugary mess away. Instead, she popped in a second one and grabbed a cocktail napkin to wipe her mouth.
Not wanting to miss a thing, he watched her every move, no matter how small or insignificant. Being with her was so much easier than he expected. It was almost like old times. After the second cookie, she moved her hand along her stomach. The baby must be moving.
Not paying any mind to the guests around them, Kaden knew it was now or never. “How’s the baby doing? Is everything okay?” He knew the surprised look on her face was due to the fact that he hadn’t asked too much about things. Maybe she thought he just hadn’t cared, which was far from the truth.
“Well,”—she tilted her head to the side and without taking her eyes off him, she continued to rub her belly—“he’s doing just fine.”
She stopped after that sentence, as if she was waiting for his reaction, and it took a minute to register in his brain. He’s doing just fine; that’s good to hear. Wait… He? Realization hit him like a brick wall, and warmth filled his chest. “He? You mean it’s a… I mean… He’s a boy?”
The cutest little laugh escaped her, and she bit at her lip while a smile fought to spread across her face. This was exactly like old times. “Yes. He’s a boy.”
“Wow, I just… I can’t believe it.” The crowd around him was now a blur, and the noise of the party was faint and far away. The only thing he could see or focus on was her.
Ali shrugged, while sarcasm tainted her words. “It was a fifty-fifty chance.”
She backed away half a step, and he could feel her apprehension return. It clouded the space between them now. This was not what he wanted at all. Kaden wanted her in his arms. He wanted to express his love for her and hope she’d say it back.
“Ali,”—he grabbed for her free hand and set her cookie plate on the corner of the table—“please hear me out.” Things seemed to be going well tonight. If he let her walk away now, before he could tell her how he felt, he feared he would never have another chance.
She sighed heavily before nodding. But she didn’t move any closer to him, as if the space between them would keep the wall up that she’d built. The wall that with the slow dance they just shared, he had hoped he was tearing down.
“I’ve been thinking. A lot. I know this hasn’t been easy on you either, but you’ve stepped up and taken on so much responsibility. Me, on the other hand, I let life get in the way of us. I’m sorry if I hurt you in the process.”
Taking a long breath, she tried to pull her hand away. “You didn’t hurt me.”
Kaden held onto her hand and closed the space between them a bit more. Staring into her eyes, he knew she was a liar. He may not have known exactly what he had done, but he had hurt her.
The pain he saw in her eyes radiated into his own chest. I am, no doubt, the biggest asshole. Hell, I’m not even sure exactly how far along she is. “Ali. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you how much I needed you. You should’ve been my first concern. Instead I—”
“You were worried about your mom. She’s your mom. That’s allowed.” He missed the sparkle Ali always had about her and in her eyes when she smiled. He worried that he’d stolen that from her.
“But we could’ve taken care of her together. I should’ve… ” He deserved for her to be more upset with him than she was. A punch in the gut might make him feel better. Give him an inkling of the hurt he’d caused her. The music got louder, which made it harder to have this conversation. “It’s too loud in here. Let’s do this somewhere else.” With Kaden pulling her behind him, they exited the ballroom.
Once in the lobby of the hotel, Kaden spied a sitting area. That’ll work. He led Ali to the seats. When she sat down, her little baby bump was more noticeable, more than when she stood. She is undeniably adorable and sexy, all at the same time.
“Now that you’ve dragged me away from my best friend’s reception, can you please tell me why we’re over here and not enjoying the party?” She was right to be growing impatient with him. They were supposed to be celebrating with their friends.
“How far along are you? Him?” Calling their baby a boy still was foreign to his ears. He had a million thoughts he wanted to tell her, and questions on top of that. But before anything, he felt this was something he needed to know. He shook his head and sighed. “I feel like a horse’s ass for not knowing the answer to that.”
“I’m about twelve weeks along. Give or take.” She looked down at her bump and rubbed her hand along the light blue fabric of the dress that stretched around it. The sight of her carrying his baby made his heart speed up. “He’s healthy, if that’s what you’re worried about. And I’ve been holding my own.”
“Well, I apologize that it took me almost a month to realize. It wasn’t fair.”
“You’re a guy; I get it. Not to mention a hockey star. I’m not bitter. I’m just the one with the take-home prize.” She pointed to her belly. Ali pushed on the arms of the chair in an attempt to stand up before he stopped her by touching her arm and settling his hand over hers. She lowered her look towards the floor, and her face sagged in defeat. “Look, I’m not expecting anything out of you, if that’s wh
at you’re wondering.”
Her words hit him like a bullet to the heart. Where is this all coming from? They had seemed to connect again with all the romance of the wedding. But now… she was pulling away again. This was not what he wanted at all. She really does think so little of me, and I didn’t help matters with how I’ve been acting.
His mother’s words echoed through his head, but they were jumbled and not making much sense at the moment. He wanted to tell Alison how he felt. He wanted to tell her everything. And not one coherent sentence was forming in his brain. But his freezing in the big moment had started all of this, and he refused to let it happen again. Forcing the words, he begged, “Ali.”
With her eyes wide, she sat motionless, obviously waiting for him to say something to warrant her staying here listening to him.
“I’d give you every last penny, if that’s what you or my son needed or wanted.” The word “son” now fell so easily from his tongue that it startled him. But it’s why he was not the same person he was before. “You can ask Dom. When you told me about the baby, I wasn’t ready for this. As asshole-ish as that sounds, it’s painfully true. I was shocked and a little bit scared, and I’m pretty sure I was having a panic attack. I should’ve spoken up and been excited, but I didn’t, I couldn’t, and I know that hurt you. I hope you believe that it was never my intention.”
The words coming out of his mouth sounded pathetic. But he wanted Ali to know he was being one hundred percent truthful with her. If they couldn’t be honest, then what chance did they have?
“Okay.” Her scrunched up face made him think he’d said the wrong thing.
“Don’t do that, Ali. I’m sorry I’m such a fucking fool. I should have said something, anything.” Leave it to me to fuck it all up. His mom said honesty was the best way to go here. Wasn’t I just being honest? “I understand if you hate me. But I—”
“No, Kaden, I don’t hate you. You were scared; I get that. I chose to handle things like a boss and you chose to be wuss.” She shrugged her shoulders with a shot of sarcasm in her words.
SHOOTOUT SAVE (The Renegades Series Book 6) Page 18