Love Crushed

by Toshia Slade

  That shit was better than any fantasy I’ve ever had before.

  Eight

  One Month Later

  *Tiffany*

  Chase Rice blares through my speakers as I dance around my room. I should be doing my homework for next week. I’ll get it done sometime this weekend, but it’s Friday, and everyone likes to enjoy and cut loose to celebrate the end of the week. My favorite part of the song comes, so I throw my hands in the air and swish my hips. When I really start to get into it, the music cuts off, and my phone beeps with a text.

  “Damn phone.” You should be able to hit a button to stop your text from interrupting your jam session. The song picks back up, but my moment’s already ruined.

  Josh: Pack a bag for the weekend & come to my house.

  It’s been like this for a solid month. Every weekend, Josh plans something different for us to do, and no matter how hard I fight him, he always wins. Sometimes it’s an all-day thing, which leads to an overnight thing, and my traitorous body never says no to his sexy charms. And let’s face it, the things he does to me have ruined me for all other men. Kind of like when he enjoyed eating s’mores off me—or more like cleaning me up from my mess.

  He’s crazy hot and makes me feel like a giddy teen all over again. I’m not sure whether it’s the way he makes me feel or the carefree, fun side he’s been showing me, but after each date, I reel myself back in at the reminder of what’s at stake if I give in and dive headfirst into this thing with him.

  I’m enjoying the hell out of the surprises and all the fun, but it hasn’t changed much. He still works insane hours through the week, and no matter what, he’ll always be worried about saving that money for retirement—retirement that’s years away. He’s a wonderful guy, and I would be lucky to have him but only when I’m ready. That kind of commitment scares the shit out of me. He’s a forever kind of thing, and I’m only twenty-one. I have a lot of life left to live before I’m grown enough for a relationship that serious.

  Gabby has it with Cam, and she’s the same age.

  “Yeah, but she’s been in love with Cam since forever.”

  And you haven’t loved Josh that long?

  “Loved, not in love. Big difference.” Great, and now I’m answering myself.

  I groan and flop face-first onto my bed. This crap is driving me insane, and Josh is showing me a whole new side of him. Deep, romantic, funny—funny’s not new, but it’s been a while—and above all, fun. He’s given me some of the best times of my life, in and outside the sheets.

  “Josh, where are we going?” I reach blindly for him since the blindfold wrapped around my head has turned my vision black.

  “Patience, Kitten. Almost there.” He laughs and guides me by my arm, the crunch of gravel under my feet. The heel of my boot gets caught on a rock, and I stumble.

  “Seriously! I’m going to fall and break my neck. Just let me take this stupid thing off and see where I’m going.”

  “Shut up, Tiffany. It’s a surprise, and besides, I’ll always catch you.” He ends on a whisper in my ear, sending chills skating across my skin and causing my heart to soar. Stupid female hormones.

  “Stop telling me to shut up. It’s rude.” Ha! That’ll tell him and cover up the effect his words have on me.

  He keeps walking and ignores me.

  I huff out a breath to show my annoyance, and finally, he stops walking. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he turns me, then his heat disappears, leaving me cold and standing alone, wondering what’s next.

  The neigh of a horse breaks the silence, and my heart begins to race. Screw this. I reach up and yank the bandana from my eyes. Standing in front of me is a brown-and-cream mare. She’s beautiful.

  “Oh my God! Are we going horseback riding?”

  I spin to face Josh. He’s leaned against a stall, arms crossed over his chest, with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

  “I don’t know. You said I was rude, and you didn’t want to come here in the first place. I think I’ve changed my mind.”

  Jumping the few steps that separate us, he catches me with ease, wrapping his arms around me and laughing. I cling to him, locking my legs around his waist. Grabbing his face in both hands, I lay a hard, wet kiss on his lips.

  “I’m sorry. I love it. Can we go now?” I give him my best fake pout, knowing he’s not going to say no. He wouldn’t have brought me all the way out here only to turn around and go back home.

  “We’ve got ’em all day. Let’s go.”

  Squealing and bouncing around on my feet, I pump my fist in the air, unable to hide how happy he makes me. I know I shouldn’t encourage him, but it’s been so long since I’ve been on a horse, and there’s nothing in the world like sitting on top of a beast, enjoying the beauties of the countryside.

  And that’s what we did—enjoyed a whole day down in the creek beds, soaking up the cool, crisp December air, stopping only to take a drink of the water or snack on the food he brought.

  “Ugh!” Stay away from those memories, Tiffany. Remember, you’re trying to fight him off, not fall in love with him. I need to text him back.

  Tiffany: Can’t. Have to work.

  Which he should know, since he’s somehow memorized my and Gabby’s work schedules. He’s been bringing flowers and dropping off dinner all month, and each time, it’s my favorite dish, always from a different place. I know we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, but seriously. How does he know all this stuff?

  He’s not been happy about sneaking behind Gabby’s back, and honestly, neither am I. The fact that I’m lying to my best friend kills me, but I don’t want her reading more into this than she should. I really need to put a stop to this relationship before someone gets hurt—or should I say, before I make it worse. I have a feeling Josh and I are both in too deep already, and that kills, because I knew it was bound to happen. How can it not when one person is practically whistling the wedding march and the other doesn’t know what the next year will bring, let alone a lifetime?

  One word that’s not in Josh’s vocabulary is no. Plain and simple. It doesn’t matter how many times I refuse or try to push him away, he ignores me or comes on stronger, just as he did earlier this week.

  I’m coming out of the coffee shop, done with my shift for the night, ready to lock up and head home. It was such a long day, and one of my professors had given us a huge essay to write for next week. Sometimes, college sucks with all the homework you have to do.

  Exhausted, I started the slow trek around the building to the back where employees had to park, only to find Josh leaning against my car.

  Ugh. Not tonight. I don’t have the energy to fight him off and pretend he doesn’t get to me. I blow out a puff of air and close my eyes, saying a silent prayer that he won’t fight me.

  “Not tonight, Josh. I’m tired, and I have homework to get done.” I try moving him from in front of my car door so I can get in and go home. He pulls me into a hug.

  “Come on, Kitten. It’ll be fun and worth it. Plus what I have planned will relax you.”

  I hold in a sigh and the urge to press in closer, wanting so bad to soak up his wintergreen and spice smell and bask in his warmth to fight off the chill of the night.

  “I’ll relax in my bed when I’m sleeping.” Pulling from his embrace, I try again to get him to move.

  “Don’t make me kidnap you.” The left corner of his mouth pulls up in a smirk, taunting me and saying, “Try me.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.” Squinting my eyes at him, I plant my feet shoulder width apart and throw my hands on my hips.

  “Who’s around to hear you scream, Kitten? No one.” He straightens up, crossing his arms over his chest, and his muscles bunch and pull under the light gray thermal. Damn him and these sexy-ass, tight-fitting clothes that show off every dip and especially the bulge he’s currently supporting in his tight Wrangler jeans. God, the things those jeans do to his ass.

  Stay firm, Tiff. Don’t let him boss you
. Not tonight. “No!”

  He licks his lips then scrapes his teeth over them, causing a moan to bubble to the surface, but I refuse to let it out. Damn him and those luscious, kissable lips, so full, and I know exactly how they feel on every inch of my body.

  Catching me off guard and lost in lusty thoughts about his lips, Josh moves in for the kill. He digs his shoulder into my stomach and stands, bouncing me on his arm.

  “Oomph.” Well, hello. I’m getting an up close and personal view of his tight, Wrangler-covered ass.

  Stay focused, Johnson! No playing tonight. You’ve got stuff to do, and you need to put some distance between you and sweet cheeks.

  He cups the backs of my thighs with one arm and swats my butt with the other, turns, and begins walking to his truck.

  “Ouch! Gosh dammit, Josh, put me down.” I grab what skin I can on his sides and pinch.

  He doesn’t scream like I want him to but only sucks in a sharp breath.

  “Oh, baby. You know I like it rough.” His hand comes down on my ass harder this time, causing me to yelp. Heat blooms low in my stomach.

  “Asshole!”

  Yeah, he’s showed me how rough he likes it, and I love it just as much. I never knew being thrown around and taken hard and fast would be so hot. But who am I kidding? Anything with Josh is hot, even his soft and sweet.

  No! Not going there. Get your mind out of the Josh-sex fog and focus. You need to put some distance between you two. Get home, do some homework, then go to sleep—without Josh.

  “Put me down, you brute.” I pound my fist on his back and kick my legs, trying to break his hold on me. “I’m not going anywhere with you, and you can’t make me!”

  My struggle is futile, and he only tightens his grip on me. His shoulder shakes with his deep chuckle bouncing me around even more.

  “Someone’s extra feisty tonight. Don’t worry, Kitten, you can take it all out on me as soon as we get where we’re going.”

  “Ugh! What part of no do you not understand?”

  The beep of the truck being unlocked signals our arrival, and I form a plan. Once I’m in and Josh moves to the other side, I’ll make my escape. Then I can jump in my car and lock it.

  Ha! That’ll show him.

  Instead of setting me on my feet and letting me climb in, he sets me in the seat, grabbing hold of my hand before I can react.

  Darn it! He’s put me in the driver’s seat.

  “What in the hell are you doing?” My plan is now ruined, and I’m stuck.

  “I know you better than you think I do. As soon as I closed your door and went to walk around, you would have taken off. Now scoot.” He climbs in beside me, pushing me over to the middle.

  Closing his door and not releasing my hand, he leans over the steering wheel, starting the truck with his left hand.

  “Smart little shit, aren’t you?” I’m pissed because I didn’t get my way, but I can’t deny that his going through this much trouble just to spend time with me makes me a little—okay, a lot—giddy.

  “You weren’t calling me little last Sunday.” He grins down at me, and I fight getting lost in his sexy green eyes.

  Since all this started, his eyes are different. There’s a spark in them that wasn’t there before, making them even more mesmerizing and harder to avoid getting lost in their depths.

  “Whatever!” Moving over to create some space between us, I flop back against the seat. Yanking my hand free of his, I cross my arms over my chest and stare out the window.

  Ignoring my anger, as always, he slips his arm around my back and grabs my side, sliding me back over until I’m touching him from shoulder to hip. Leaving his hand where it is, he once again leans over and puts the truck in drive.

  The cab of the truck is quiet with the exception of Luke Bryan quietly singing “Drunk On You.” It’s one of the songs we danced to that night in the park. That reminder, combined with Josh making soft strokes up and down my side, melts some of my anger. A simple touch from him ignites my blood and has my body craving more. We make it to the outskirts of town before Josh finally breaks the silence.

  “You going to stop being mad and enjoy the night with me?”

  “Are you going to keep bossing me? It’s like what I say doesn’t even matter to you. You do what you want anyway.”

  “Who’s acting forty now?” His fingers dig into my side.

  “Ugh! You’re so ridiculous. This is shit couples do, Josh. We are not a couple, we’re friends.”

  “You fuck all your friends?” He speeds up and pulls his arm from around me, pulling his baseball cap off and then slamming it back on his head.

  “I cannot believe you just said that. You know damn well I don’t. Take me home.”

  I start to move away from him when his hand lands on my thigh, pulling me closer.

  “Let go of me.” I try to shove his hand off, but he only tightens his hold. My eyes and throat burn with the need to cry. This is what I didn’t want. He’s one of my best friends, and we’ll only hurt each other.

  “I’m sorry. Okay. It’s just…” He takes a deep breath and mumbles under his breath, “God, I’m going to sound like a pussy.” Shaking his head, he continues. “It’s frustrating. I know you want this as bad as I do. You think you hide it, but you don’t. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why. We’re great together, Tiffany. We both feel it, and God, when I’m inside you, it’s heaven. Everything just stops, and it’s only you and me. You challenge me, push me, and make me want to be better. I would lay down my life for you. Then when you’re not there, a part of me is missing. I’m not as happy, not complete.”

  My lungs are paralyzed, and I can’t take a breath. What do I even say? It’s already too late. Oh, God. Panic consumes me, and it’s suddenly too hot and stuffy inside the truck. I lean over and crack my window, hoping to pull some air into my lungs.

  “And I made fun of Cam. Jesus, this woman’s got me by the balls.”

  I barely catch his whispered words over the wind and music. “Josh, w—“

  “Don’t give me that bullshit right now, Tiffany. Can we please just drop it and enjoy the rest of the night?”

  I nod, unable to speak. I can hear the anger in his voice, but most of all I hear the pain, and my heart cracks a little.

  We ride in silence, and soon we arrive at Josh’s house, but instead of pulling up to the house, he drives around to the backyard and keeps on.

  “Where are we going?” I sit up and peer out the window, wondering where we could possibly be headed.

  As many times as I’ve been out here, I’ve never gone farther than the house and shed. I know they have quite a few acres, and one day Josh wants to buy a few head of cattle to raise for beef—and maybe a horse or two—but as far as I know, there’s nothing out here. He doesn’t answer.

  It’s a bit of a rough ride, but before I know it, we’re parked on top of a hill. It’s pitch black, so I can’t see anything.

  “Sit tight. I gotta do something really fast, then I’ll be back. No peeking.”

  Before I can reply, he’s out of the truck, and his door’s closing. Okay. The back door opens, startling me, and I jump, letting out a small squeak.

  “Just me. I need this.” He drags a huge black bag out of the seat and closes the door behind him again.

  It’s official. He’s lost his damn mind, murdered someone, and brought me out here to help him hide the body.

  What if I pissed him off so bad, he leaves me out here and hoofs it back to the house? I check the ignition to find the keys are still there.

  I sigh with relief and fall back against the seat, closing my eyes. I wasn’t lying when I told him I was tired. It’s been a hell of a week, and I could curl up and go to sleep right now.

  Snuggling deeper into the seat, I think that a small catnap doesn’t sound like a bad idea, and who knows how long his thing will take him. I start to drift off right as my door is yanked open, and a blast of cool air hits me full force.

>   “Come on, Kitten. I’ve got something to show you.”

  “If it’s a dead body, I don’t want to know or see it.” I glide across the seat hesitantly. Last time he took me out at dark like this, I got scared and was on the verge of a panic attack.

  “What?” He shakes his head, laughing. “No dead bodies, and I scanned the area for anything that might eat us. We’re all safe. The coast is clear.” He reaches in, taking my hand and helping me the rest of the way out.

  “Not funny.”

  “I’m just teasing. Calm down, Kitten.” He leads me to the back of the truck, and I gasp.

  “Oh, my God, Josh.” My mouth opens and closes a few times, but I can’t find words. This is a country girl’s dream come true.

  The back of his truck is filled with blankets and pillows, and it looks so comfy that I could sleep in it for days.

  “Tonight, we’re going to relax and enjoy the stars. I figured this way, you wouldn’t be on the ground, so you wouldn’t have to worry about sn— stuff.”

  I throw myself into his arms and kiss him over and over. His hands roam down my back and cup my butt, pulling me closer to him. Then his mouth captures mine in a soul-scorching kiss.

  “Yeah, then your stupid ass let him make love to you under the stars,” I mumble to no one, pulling myself out of the memory.

  I’ve relived that night a thousand times, and it’s been only a matter of days. And that’s not counting all the other dates he’s taken me on. The day he showed up with the four-wheeler on the trailer is another of my favorites. I may be girly and a bit of a diva, but I love playing in the mud. Covering Josh doing donuts at The Playground may have been a big factor, too. That place is a blast, and I could spend all day there and not get bored. There are mud pits and tons of different hills to jump and climb.

  The man knows how to wear me down, that’s for sure, and I’m not sure how much longer I can resist him. He keeps throwing all of my favorite things at me and making them mean even more.