Free to Forgive

by Susette Williams

  “Sorry.” Jessie tipped his cowboy hat to the man.

  The older man frowned, shook his head, leaned to the side and spit chewing tobacco over the edge of his wagon.

  Jessie turned his attention back toward the woman across the road. She must have heard the commotion because she was staring at him now.

  He grinned.

  Her expression remained unreadable. If it was her, she might not recognize him. The Daguerreotype he’d sent Sarah was a couple years old, and it was of his whole family. He’d told her he’d shaved his beard and mustache off that he had in the picture. Their gazes remained locked as he approached.

  Jessie stopped a few feet from her. His breath caught in his throat. Her cheeks were slightly flushed. She blinked rapidly, opening her mouth a fraction before closing it. She apparently didn’t know what to say either. Which gave him comfort. “You’re even prettier than the drawing you sent me.”

  Her eyes widened. She covered her heart with her hand. “Jessie?”

  He nodded and grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Remembering his manners, he took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, hoping he didn’t have an indentation from his hat.

  “I’d forgotten you had shaved.” Her blue eyes held his brown ones captive. “I think you look mighty handsome without facial hair, but charming either way.”

  “Maybe I better marry you before I take you home to meet my three older brothers.” Jessie’s cheeks warmed. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, even if he was thinking it. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t mean to rush you.”

  Sarah laid a dainty hand on his arm. “It’s all right, Jessie.”

  He loved the way she said his name. Her voice sounded musical. When she smiled, he was happy to see that she had all her teeth, and they didn’t appear to be in bad shape either.

  “I’m ready and I would be more than happy to marry you today if that would make you happy.” Sarah leaned toward him and gently touched his cheek.

  “Really?” Marrying her right away would save him from having to explain everything to his family and hoping they’d digest it better than pickled pigs feet. One thing the Kincaids were known for was speaking their mind. Sarah might hightail it out of town if his brothers said what they were thinking—given they had a habit of nitpicking when it came to Jessie. If he took her home as his wife, then it didn’t matter what any of them had to say. It’d be too late.

  “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?” Jessie stammered, and glanced down the street toward the church, then back at Sarah. “The preacher usually takes supper at the saloon. He might even be back at the church by now.” Jessie turned his hat in circles in his hands. “We could go look.”

  “I’d like that.” She folded her hands in front of her.

  “Really?”

  The sound of her laugh was delicate. She nodded. “Really.”

  “Well, all right then.” Jessie put his hat back firmly on his head and held out his arm for her to grab on to.

  Sarah glanced down. “What about my bag?”

  Jessie could have kicked himself. Why didn’t he think about her belongings? He lifted the tiny suitcase. “Where’s the rest of your luggage?”

  Her blue eyes misted. She glanced down. “I’m afraid this is all I have.”

  “Well, we’ll have to fix that soon enough.” Jessie held out his arm for her again. “Shall we go see the preacher?”

  She looked up at him and nodded like a school girl who’d just been told they were going to get a piece of candy.

  Sarah took hold of the crook of his arm, and clasped her other hand on top of it, drawing close to him. “I’d like that.”

  Jessie smiled to himself when he thought about the plain silver ring he’d bought the day he mailed Sarah the letter with the stagecoach ticket. He’d been carrying it around in his trouser pocket every since.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The church was a quaint one-room building containing wooden pews lined with hymnals. An organ and a wooden stand to hold his Bible were on the platform in the front of the church. The walls on either side of the church were lined with windows where streams of sunlight spilled through.

  Since they were having an informal wedding ceremony, Pastor Morgan stood on the floor in front of the platform. His wife Mary, who was very far along with child, agreed to stand in as Sarah’s witness. Jessie had asked Sam, who helped out at the general store, to stand in as his.

  It would have been nice if they had someone to play the organ, but Sarah was happy to just be getting married to Jessie. She smiled at the handful of wild flowers Jessie had gathered for her while she was taking a few minutes to freshen up after her long journey. Jessie was just as thoughtful in person as he was in his letters. Sarah always knew in her heart that she couldn’t pass up the chance to become Mrs. Jessie Kincaid. Which was a dream come true moments later, after Pastor Morgan had Jessie place the plain silver wedding ring on her finger and proudly announced they were now husband and wife.

  Jessie shouted in excitement, picked her up and spun her around. Their eyes locked as the whirlwind began to slow and her feet slowly eased to the ground. He kept one arm around her waist and reached to cup her face with his other hand. His thumb stroked her cheek for a moment before his lips came down to claim hers. Sarah melted into his arms, savoring the taste of his mouth on hers as excitement danced inside her at his touch.

  “Ahem.”

  Jessie pulled his head away and looked toward Pastor Morgan before letting his hand drop to his sides. “Sorry, Pastor.”

  “Congratulations to the both of you.” Mary leaned forward, tilting her protruding belly to the side as she hugged Sarah.

  “Thank you.” Sarah’s cheeks still felt warm after the toe tingling kiss Jessie had given her.

  Jessie thanked them as well, paid the preacher, and took her hand to lead her from the church. “I think we should get a bite to eat and then maybe go over to Aunt Clara’s Inn to spend the night.”

  “Your aunt has an inn?” Sara didn’t remember him talking about an aunt. But over the last two years, she had written numerous gentleman, she was bound to get some information confused.

  Jessie patted her hand and laughed. “No, silly. That is the name of the place.” He paused for a moment on the walkway and looked at her. “You know, come to think of it, I don’t rightly recall ever hearing her talk about her kin, other than a husband who passed away when I was a youngin’.”

  “So she isn’t an aunt?” Sarah found that peculiar.

  “I don’t rightly know.” Jessie laughed and set off again for their destination.

  Sarah smiled and squeezed his arm closer to her as they walked. The Good Lord had smiled down at her today and blessed her with a husband beyond her dreams. She knew in her heart that she couldn’t let him get away. That’s why she defied her father and journeyed to Festus.

  Today was her wedding day, a time to celebrate. Sarah pushed thoughts of her father and brothers from her mind. She’d find a way to ease into the subject tomorrow, after she’d had more time to win Jessie’s heart. Then surely he would be more understanding and forgive her for her part in the deception. After all, her feelings for him were real.

  When they reached Aunt Clara’s Inn, Sara continued to hold onto the crook of Jessie’s arm and carefully grabbed a handful of material to raise the hem of her dress an inch or two to climb the stairs leading up to the establishment. When she reached the porch, she let go of her dress and smoothed the fabric with her hand.

  Jessie set Sarah’s suitcase down and knocked on the door.

  A few moments later, an elderly woman opened the door and greeted them. “May I help you?”

  “We’d like to rent a room for the night, Aunt Clara,” Jessie announced.

  Her eyebrows rose a fraction as she glanced from Jessie to Sarah, and back again. “I’m afraid I don’t know either of you and if you are looking to entertain yourselves…” Aunt Clara’s tone was demeaning
, “then might I suggest you try the saloon down the street. I pride myself on running a respectful establishment and won’t have any of those goings-on under my roof.”

  Jessie quickly took off his hat and extended his hand for Aunt Clara to shake. “I’m sorry ma’am,” he stammered. “You might not recognize me. When I was a boy, your husband, Fred, would have my older brother Marshall help him out with some chores and Marshall would bring me along.”

  “Oh, my.” Aunt Clara clasped Jessie’s hand in both of hers. “You’re the sheriff’s brother?”

  Jessie nodded, flashing a lopsided grin. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Sarah tensed. She didn’t recall Jessie ever mentioning his brother was the sheriff. Pa would never have let her continue to write Jessie if they had known. She swallowed hard. Tomorrow she’d make a point of writing Pa and telling him what she’d done and that he couldn’t do nothing about it now. She was married to the sheriff’s brother. Pa wanted nothing to do with a law-man.

  Sarah forced herself to listen to the conversation at hand. Jessie was telling Aunt Clara how they had just gotten married and wanted to spend the night in town, so they could do some shopping for items for his new bride.

  “Please, come into the parlor.” Aunt Clara led the way to a sitting area with several chairs, a mix of prints and a solid cream colored one, and a floral settee. “Have a seat.”

  Jessie led Sarah to the couch and allowed her to sit before residing beside her.

  “Goodness, my boy, I can’t believe you are married now.” Aunt Clara sank into a padded chair that looked like it had been well worn. Probably her favorite chair, by the way her body unwound into shape like a woman who’d just taken off a tight fitted corset.

  Sarah couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

  Aunt Clara’s gaze warmed as she smiled back at Sarah. “I can tell you both are happy.”

  Sarah nodded. “We are.”

  “Then perhaps it’s time I got you both settled in your room.” Aunt Clara hoisted herself up out of the chair and winked at Jessie.

  Heat rose to Sarah’s cheeks.

  “Thank you, ma’am.” Jessie grabbed the suitcase and stood, turning to help Sarah.

  When he winked at Sarah, she felt even warmer and wished she had a fan to wave so that she could cool herself off. Or at least to hide her embarrassment.

  At the top of the stairs, Aunt Clara announced, “Your room will be at the far end of the hall so that other guests are sure not to disturb you.”

  By the time they reached their room, Sarah wished she could have a few moments to herself. All her fantasies about getting married hadn’t included what went on behind closed doors. Ma died nine years ago, so Sarah never had the chance to ask her much of anything. The only woman in her life that she might have even been able to ask questions, of a personal nature, was the woman that Sarah had worked with the restaurant. While they were close, they weren’t that close.

  Once they were alone in their room, Sarah stared at the pine, four poster bed in trepidation. Jessie set her suitcase down on the floor and drew her into his arms. The air escaped her lungs. As if sensing she needed to be resuscitated, Jessie’s mouth came down on hers. Sarah let go as he breathed new life back into her body.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “You either open this door or I’m going to break it down!” a muffled, but loud voice yelled.

  Jessie’s head shot up. Their second attempt at making love interrupted.

  “What’s goin’—” Jessie covered Sarah’s mouth before she could finish asking her question.

  “Sh, it sounds like there are a couple people in the hallway,” Jessie said. “I know that voice. Get dressed.”

  Before Jessie could roll over, the door burst open.

  Sarah screamed. She scrambled for the cover and pulled it up quickly to keep from revealing herself, accidentally knocking Jessie out of the bed. He grabbed his hat and covered himself to no avail.

  “What in tarnation?” The man with the beard and a deep voice glared at Jessie. “You ought to know better than this. Ma will have a heart attack if word of this gets out.”

  “Marshall, whatever you think this looks like—it ain’t!” Jessie threw an apologetic look at Sarah and turned his attention back to the man.

  “Marshall?” Sarah was confused. “Is he one of your brothers?”

  Jessie nodded, not taking his eyes off the man in question, who seemed content enough to stand there glaring, with his hands on his hips, paying no mind that his brother was standing there without a stitch of clothing, except the cowboy hat he was holding to shield his unmentionables.

  Sarah didn’t mean to laugh, but she couldn’t help it.

  “What are you laughing about?” Marshall asked.

  His stern look didn’t phase Sarah. He didn’t look like the type to hit a woman. Now her pa on the other hand…

  Sarah shrugged, clutching the sheet closer to her body. “I think it is kind of peculiar that my husband—”

  “Husband?” Marshalls eyes narrowed like a hawk barreling down on its prey. Sarah couldn’t tell whether she or Jessie was in more danger from his brother. “So you aren’t engaging in sin?”

  “No.” Jessie leaned slightly to his left to look past Marshall. “Excuse us, Aunt Clara. I think it might be better to discuss this in private, considering…” Jessie glanced down at his unclothed body.

  Sarah wanted to pull the covers over her head. As loud as Marshall was in the hallway, no doubt the rest of the guests were bound to be eavesdropping.

  “I’d appreciate you keeping this all quiet, Aunt Clara.” Marshall’s voice was smooth as honey.

  Sarah’s gaze snapped back to make sure it was the same person. Sure enough, it was.

  The sound of shoes shuffling on the wood floor faded, signaling that Aunt Clara had left. Marshall still didn’t close the door. He just stared at Jessie for a couple moments, then he reached up, raised his hat and ran his hand through his hair before putting the hat back on his head. “I hate to say it, but I just now realized you ain’t a boy any more. Somehow, when I wasn’t lookin’, you grew up.”

  Jessie laughed. “I’ve been grown up for a while now, Marshall. You all just keep treating me like the baby of the family.”

  Marshall nodded. “I think you are right.” Marshall exhaled a deep breath. “And since you ain’t a youngin no more, it’s your place to break the news to Ma.”

  Jessie nodded. “I expected to tomorrow.”

  Marshall turned and grabbed the door handle to go. He paused. “And Jessie, you can bet Ma ain’t gonna be happy.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  “You shouldn’t have spoiled me.” Sarah sighed. They were headed back to the ranch in Jessie’s wagon. “Your ma—”

  “Our ma,” Jessie corrected her. “She’s your ma, too. By marriage.” Jessie glanced at Sarah. Her eyes held a hint of sadness. “I thought that would make you happy, seeing you said your ma passed away when you were a youngin’, just like my pa did.”

  Sarah nodded. “It does make me happy, but it also gives me worry lines ‘cause your family is going to think I only married you for your money.”

  Jessie laughed. “Why in the world would they think something like that?”

  “Jessie, you bought me a new dress, had that nice woman measure me so she could make me a couple more, along with a riding dress and you even ordered me a new pair of shoes and riding boots.” Sarah’s eyes widened, her voice wavered. “Jessie, I ain’t ever owned that many clothes in all of my life. Here we have been married all of a day and…” A tear trickled down her cheek.

  “Whoa.” Jessie pulled the horses’ reins and brought the wagon to a halt. He took off his riding gloves and gently wiped the tears away. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  Sarah sniffed. “They’re tears of happiness.”

  She didn’t look happy to him.

  “It’s just, I ain’t ever had anyone be so kind to me before.” Sarah kisse
d his cheek and he melted inside. “I knew you were the one from the moment I received your first letter.”

  “Well, good then,” Jessie said, putting his gloves back on. “Now, since that’s settled, can we head back home, so you can meet everybody?”

  Jessie was concerned about Sarah’s shaky smile, but knew that once she met Ma and his other two brothers, she would be all right. They’d love her as much as he did. He was certain of it.

  They rode for the next half hour in silence. When they were getting close enough to see some of their herd grazing in the field, he nudged Sarah gently. “Those are some of our cattle,” Jessie said. “You’ll see the house in the distance. I’m sorry you won’t have your own kitchen, but we can see about building a home by next year maybe. It won’t be much, but we would have some privacy.”

  Jessie smiled to himself. After the interruption at the inn, he liked the thought of privacy and having his new bride to himself.

  “Does all your family live in the same house now?” The bonnet he bought her kept a lot of the sun’s glare out of her pretty little face, but she still shielded her eyes at times. Especially now, as she stared in the direction of her new home.

  Jessie couldn’t remember ever living anywhere else, but here. Their house had gotten bigger with time, to make room for growing boys. Jessie and Sarah would be starting their own family. “Marshall’s the only one who doesn’t live in the main house anymore. He’s got a place of his own not far from here. There is still a lot of work he has to do and said it was easier to live there and work on the house in his free time.”

  “Ah.” Sarah nodded thoughtfully.

  As they drew nearer to the house, he heard Sarah take a sharp breath.

  “What’s wrong?” Jessie glanced at her. She looked pale, like she might faint. “Do you need me to stop?”

  “Jessie…” Sarah’s eyes misted.

  “Whoa.” He brought the horses to a halt. “What’s wrong? Please tell me.”