by Diana Palmer
Today he seemed in a hurry. He set her on her feet next to her own bed and began undressing her. “Go slower,” she whispered. Their eyes met, and the grim expression in his evolved into warmth and desire.
“Sorry.” Gently he tugged her forward and pressed his lips to hers. Maris felt his kiss all the way down to her toes. A strange mixture of joy and misery made her feel reckless, and she snuggled closer and thrust her tongue into his mouth. After he was gone she would remember each time they had made love, and maybe he deserved the same cruel fate. She would make today as memorable as she could. He would not drive away without memories, not after today.
His naked chest seemed to beg for attention, and Maris ran her fingertips, her nails, over his smooth, dark skin.
“Baby,” he whispered raggedly. “Why do I want you so much?”
She’d been asking herself the same question, only in her case the answer was becoming acutely evident. Apparently Luke wasn’t thinking beyond the pounding beat of his own blood, which was sort of sad. And yet, if he said right now that he was in love with her she would be aghast. Heaven knows she had long stopped comparing him to Ray, but there were still worrisome similarities, such as fighting in a bar and, for that matter, going there in the first place. What else did a person go to a tavern for but to drink? Then there was the biggest similarity of all, rodeo. Luke’s obsession for rodeo actually surpassed Ray’s.
No, she didn’t want to hear that Luke loved her, or that he would drop in and see her if and when he ever returned to this part of Montana. His departure after the horse auction had to be final and the end of their relationship.
Even with those thoughts deeply entrenched in her mind, Maris sighed seductively and responded to his desire with every cell in her body. She kissed him as demandingly, as passionately, as he kissed her, and her caresses were as bold and intimate as his.
Suddenly it was she who seemed in a hurry. Groping for the buckle on his belt, she opened it and then the zipper of his fly. He unbuttoned her blouse and pushed it from her shoulders. Their kisses had become hungry and greedy, landing willy-nilly on noses and chins and lips. She pushed down his jeans and undershorts while he did the same with her jeans and panties.
But their clothing got hung up on Luke’s boots and her shoes, and they separated to hastily rid themselves of the obstructions. Naked then, Maris drew back the spread and blankets. They tumbled to the bed, legs entwined, to kiss and touch and explore each other’s bodies.
“You’re so beautiful,” Luke whispered. His mouth opened on her breast. His tongue teased her nipple until it had formed a rigid peak, causing an unbearable ache between her legs. He seemed to know, because he slid down in the bed and began kissing her inner thighs, gradually going higher. Moaning softly, eyes closed, Maris curled her fingers into his hair, all she could reach of him. His tongue was like hot satin on her most sensitive spot, and in minutes a starburst of pleasure began in her lower abdomen.
“Luke…Luke…” she whimpered, needing his arms around her at this unique and special moment.
He heard and understood her cry. Moving up in the bed, he gathered her into his arms and kissed her lips. He held her against his chest until her trembling had ceased.
Then he tipped her chin and looked into her eyes. The mist of tears and the softness he saw touched his soul. Tenderly he kissed her. “Maris…we need to talk,” he said hoarsely.
“Not now. Please…not now.” If he talked about love she would fall apart and confess how much she cared for him. She would tell him that nothing mattered but loving him, and it wasn’t true. Or it wouldn’t be true once this incredibly sensual interlude was over. But in her present mood she would say foolish things, things such as his need for the excitement of rodeo being no detriment to their relationship, and that she didn’t care if he hung out in bars and got into fistfights and was arrested. She did care. Those things caused her great pain, and she didn’t want to tell romantic lies because of his sexual power and then regret them later.
For a moment Luke nearly forced the issue. They did need to talk. He wanted to understand why she’d become so important to him, and why she made love with him if he wasn’t equally as important to her.
But he was unmercifully aroused and talking could come later. Maris surprised him by sitting up. But she wasn’t eluding his embrace, he realized, not when she smiled mysteriously and then straddled his hips. He sucked in a huge breath of air as his excitement increased to the bursting stage.
Leaning forward, she feathered kisses across his lips. Her long hair caressed his shoulders and the sides of his face. The crests of her breasts softly touched his chest, and she deliberately moved them back and forth in exquisite torture.
His eyes were partially closed, his breathing deep and labored. “What’re you doing to me?” he said thickly.
“Do you want me to stop?” she whispered with a seductive smile.
“No way.”
Laughing softly, she took his sexy bottom lip between her teeth and gently nibbled. Luke’s hands rose up to cup her bottom. “Incredible,” he murmured.
“What’s incredible?”
“Your…uh, hips.” Her nibbling at his mouth was driving him crazy. “If you raise up just a little…”
“Yes? If I raise up just a little you’ll do what?”
“Do it and find out,” he growled.
Maris appeared to be thinking very hard. “Could it be this?” Lifting her bottom, she reached down to his manhood and held it upright, positioning them both for a perfect union. Very slowly she took him inside herself, until she was sitting precisely on the juncture of his thighs.
“That’s it,” Luke said with his eyes closed and supreme pleasure all over his face.
He was fully inside of her, lying flat on his back, and the sensation was unbelievably exciting for Maris. “I kind of like this,” she said playfully, albeit in an unusually husky voice.
“I kind of like it, too.”
“It makes me feel quite powerful.”
Luke’s eyes opened. “Like you’re the boss?”
“Like I’m in control.”
His eyes were dark and smoldering. “You are. What are you going to do now, boss?”
“Hmm. Maybe this.” With her hands on his chest she slowly raised her hips and then slid down again. “How was that?”
“That was good. That was very good. Do it again.”
“Again? Once wasn’t enough?”
Her teasing tone delighted Luke. Never had she teased him about anything. Nearly every day Maris let him see another side of her. A lot of the time the side she exposed wasn’t altogether pleasant, but he was beginning to realize she was a many faceted woman. A complex woman.
But he could tease, too. “Well…maybe once was enough. I’ll let you decide. You are in control, you know.”
Her teasing expression vanished. “So I am. Maybe I’ll keep you in this position for hours.”
He laughed, a trifle grimly. “I wouldn’t last for hours, baby, but give it your best shot.”
She fell forward and whispered into his ear. “I know what you want, you devil.” Then she straightened and began moving her hips up and down, using her knees on the bed to propel herself.
He clutched at her thighs. “That’s it. That’s fantastic. Don’t stop. Don’t even slow down.” His right hand crept over his own belly to locate and then stroke the core of her pleasure.
“Luke…oh, Luke,” she gasped, stunned that she would be this needful so soon after the heights she had just reached no more than ten minutes ago. It was almost laughable that she had decided to give him a memory about today that he would never forget. She was the one who would never forget this day, and didn’t she already have enough incidents to suffer over after he was gone?
But there was no stopping now. Nor, as Luke had pleaded, even a chance of slowing down. She was caught by the rhythms of their intense lovemaking, soaring and feeling more alive than ever in her life. She loved this man
, adored him, and she just might die when the day came for him to drive away in his fancy pickup.
Her eyes flooded with tears, and when the powerful and beautiful spasms of release began, she fell forward, too dazed even to wonder if Luke had come to the same dizzying fulfillment.
He had, and he held her in an embrace so tight he marveled that she didn’t complain. “Straighten out your legs, honey,” he whispered. Mindlessly she obeyed. Luke turned them to their sides. “Do you want to get up?” Damn, he thought. He hadn’t used protection again. What in hell was wrong with his brain? When he was hot for Maris and she cooperated, everything sensible simply disappeared.
She was starting to come out of that magical haze, starting to think again. “Uh…yes, I’d better.” Still dazed, she slipped from his arms and got off the bed. Somehow she made it to the bathroom without tripping over anything, though how she’d accomplished it she would never know.
Automatically she refreshed herself, then, standing before the bathroom mirror, she studied her reflection and saw the dejection in her eyes. Her heart was already broken and Luke was still here. How would she bear it when he wasn’t?
Wrapping a large bath towel around herself, she returned to the bedroom. Luke had stacked the pillows and was lying against them with his eyes closed, and wearing an expression of utter satisfaction. Hearing her come in, he lifted his lids and smiled at her.
“Hi, baby.” Maris didn’t smile back and his spirit deflated. Every damn time they made love she got depressed right after. “Don’t do this, Maris.”
“Don’t do what?” Listlessly she began picking up her clothes.
Luke sat up. “I think you know.” He watched her gather clothes for a moment. “Maris, come over here. Please.”
She heaved a despondent sigh. “Luke, I don’t like myself very much right now. Just get up and go, please.”
Leaping off the bed, Luke grabbed her by her upper arms. “We’re going to talk. Come and sit down.”
“Talk about what?”
“About us, damn it! What else would I want to talk about?”
“Don’t shout at me,” she said sharply.
“Then talk to me. Right now, right here.” He began pushing her toward the bed. “Sit down.”
She shook off his hands. “Don’t give me orders.” She wasn’t yelling. In fact, her voice had become steely, steady and lethally quiet.
Luke took a breath. “I’m sorry. Maris, would you please sit down and talk to me?”
Apparently this “talk” was inevitable and it may as well be now as later, she thought. “Yes,” she said, and marched to the closet for a bathrobe, which she put on with her back to him. Then she went over to the room’s one chair and sat down. “Go ahead.”
Luke scrambled for his jeans and yanked them on without bothering with his underwear. He turned to look at Maris. “The first thing I wish you’d tell me is why you get angry and depressed every time we make love.”
A snotty retort nearly made it to her lips, but she decided against it. It was time for the truth with Luke. “I like you more than I should. I don’t want to like you. I don’t want to sleep with you. I don’t want anything between us but our original deal. Second, I have never casually slept around. I turn into someone else with you, the kind of woman that I have never respected or even wanted to know. I believe that only people deeply in love with each other should be making love. I believe that it’s up to the woman to say no to a man, because men can and do sleep around and it means nothing to them. Nor does the woman mean anything to them. I…”
“Whoa,” Luke said, sounding as breathless as if he’d been the one making that long speech. “Let’s start with why you don’t want to like me.”
Maris’s left eyebrow went up. “I think that’s perfectly obvious. You’re leaving in a few weeks, aren’t you?”
Luke hesitated. “That’s been my plan all along, yes. But let me ask you this. Don’t you ever let yourself like anyone who isn’t living on the ranch?”
“We’re not talking about ordinary liking, and you know it,” Maris said with cutting asperity.
“Ah, that’s good.” Luke nodded enthusiastically, surprising her. “Now we’re getting somewhere. You don’t just like me. It’s possible that you even—” he cleared his throat “—love me.”
Maris’s face drained of color. “Don’t presume too much, Luke. However I feel about you, it’s going to come to a screeching halt very soon now. I’d just as soon not get in any deeper than I already am, and if you had any feelings at all for me you wouldn’t even be mentioning the word love.”
“Because you and I couldn’t possibly have a future together, right?” He practically stopped breathing, almost praying for some word, some sign from Maris that would indicate otherwise. She disappointed him.
“That’s exactly right. Let me tell you something, Luke. I will never again make any sort of commitment to a man who has not only completely settled down in one place, but who wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“A man like Judd Hensley.” Just saying the sheriff’s name caused Luke’s spine to stiffen.
Maris scoffed. “Don’t bring Judd into this. I don’t have to explain my friendship with Judd to you, nor do I intend to try.”
“Don’t expect me to believe Hensley hasn’t made a pass, Maris,” Luke said with some sarcasm.
“Judd has never made a pass,” she said with icy distinction. “You’re exactly like Ray was. You simply cannot visualize a nonsexual relationship between a man and a woman.”
Luke’s face shut down. “I’m nothing like Ray was.”
“Nothing! Good grief, do you take me for an idiot? He couldn’t enter enough competitions to satisfy his obsession with trying to kill himself in a rodeo arena, and he was forever fighting in bars. Usually over a woman, I might add.”
Luke’s lips tightened into a thin line. He looked at her for a long time, then said brusquely, “So you feel that my career choice and one fight in a bar make me like Ray. Maris, what’s your friend Lori’s telephone number?”
Maris blinked. “What?” Walking over to the telephone on the bedstand, Luke repeated the question. “Why do you want Lori’s number?” Maris asked incredulously.
“Because she was at the Sundowner that night and I’d like you to hear from her what really happened.”
“Lori was there? I don’t believe you. She would have called me…or something.”
“She was there, Maris. Believe it.” Luke picked up the phone and pointed it at Maris. “Call her.”
Perplexed, Maris stared at the phone in Luke’s hand. Lori had been there? She’d seen the fight and what had caused it? If that was true, why hadn’t Lori called and told her about it?
Maris lifted her chin. Lori was a very busy woman and many times weeks passed without either of them calling the other. It could also be that Lori simply didn’t want to carry tales. “Why don’t you leave Lori out of this and tell me what happened yourself?”
“Because I don’t think you’d believe me. I don’t think you believe anything I say. For some crazy reason you’ve got me mixed up with Ray. It’s like Ray went away and I showed up and nothing had changed.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” But the sneer in Maris’s voice wasn’t nearly as definite as she’d meant to convey. Without question she had lumped Luke and Ray in the same untrustworthy category many times. By the same token, she had also recognized their differences. Ray had been as lazy as they came and no one could ever accuse Luke of shirking responsibility. As far as his work with the horses went, anyway.
She had only discussed Ray with Luke in general terms, and maybe it was time to get specific. Maris stood and went to the window. “You’re not like Ray. I’m sorry I said you were. Oh, there are similarities, make no mistake, but you’re not mean or lazy or unkind, and he…” Her voice cracked. She was getting painfully close to the very memories she had diligently avoided since Ray’s death.
�
�He what, Maris? Tell me, please.”
Maris sighed. She had opened this can of worms all on her own, whetting Luke’s curiosity, and maybe he should hear the facts of his friend’s true nature.
She turned to face Luke. “You and Ray were good friends, weren’t you?”
“Uh…let’s just say we ran into each other quite a lot.”
“At various rodeos.”
Luke nodded. “Yes, but that didn’t make us good friends, Maris. What were you going to say a minute ago?”
“Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“I’m positive. Maris…” Luke moved close enough to touch her and very gently brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Tell me your secrets, honey, and I’ll tell you mine.”
“You have secrets?”
“There’s one that’s been eating a hole in my gut for weeks now.”
Instinctively she knew his “secret” was about her. He was going to talk about love, and she was just stupid enough to listen and then confess her feelings for him. He was right. Ray had died, Luke had shown up and nothing had changed.
But that wasn’t completely true, either. She had changed, and she’d meant what she’d said about never again committing herself to an unstable man. Yes, she would tell him her secrets, and if that didn’t get her point across to Luke, nothing ever would.
“Very well.” Needing some space between them, Maris went to the other side of the room. “When Ray and I were married, I was very deeply in love with him.” She noticed Luke’s flinch but let it pass without a reaction from her. “He brought me here and I immediately found a second love, the ranch. He showed me around the place and I was so starry-eyed I only barely noticed the evidences of neglect. It was around the middle of September and we had a beautiful fall that year. Every day was sunny and warm, and Ray was full of smiles. We drove somewhere to eat out almost every night. We slept late in the morning. He always had something fun lined up for the day and I rarely had any free time to even do any housecleaning. ‘We’re on our honeymoon,’ he’d say if I mentioned that the carpets needed vacuuming or the laundry was piling up. And he never did any real work outside. Once in a while he’d go down to the barn and putter around for an hour or so, but that was about it.