All The Wrong Reasons

by JL Paul

  I blinked slowly at him, processing his question. “Um, I don’t know. I never asked him. I don’t think anyone has.”

  Lucas shrugged and lifted my hand to his lips. “He may only be nine and have special needs, but it is his life. Maybe he wants to go. Has he taken a tour of the school yet?”

  I shook my head. “But that’s a good idea.” My heart quickened. What if I arranged a tour for Tommy? What if he liked it? But what if he didn’t? “So, what happens if he doesn’t like the school?”

  He watched as he unlaced and laced our fingers. “Then, stand up for him.”

  Leaning in, I kissed him softly. He squeezed my hand while lifting his other to cup my face. My heart pattered happily as we broke apart. A satisfied sigh left my lips as my eyes slowly opened and I smiled at him. “Thanks, Lucas.”

  “Anytime, love,” he said. “Are you finished?”

  After I helped him clean up, I contemplated going back to the dorms but he held my hand again and dragged me to the living room. He dropped to the sofa, tugging me next to him. He turned on the television, propped his feet on the coffee table, and draped an arm behind me.

  “How did your show go on Friday?” I asked, not quite ready to break the news to him.

  “Fine,” he said nonchalantly. “I missed you, though.” He squeezed my shoulder. “How was your weekend?”

  “Um,” I said, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. He turned his full attention on me, his brow lifted. “I, um, well, Dustin sort of took me away for the weekend.”

  His eyes clouded and I regretted telling him. He continued to stare at me but his face relaxed and he pursed his lips, suppressing laughter. He snorted as his laughter escaped.

  “What?” I asked. “What’s so funny?”

  He choked and coughed and tried to compose himself. “It’s just that…” he wiped his eyes. “He takes you away for a romantic weekend…” Laughter overcame him again. “And your…your period comes!”

  He collapsed into laughter again as fury built inside my stomach. “That’s not funny!”

  “On the contrary, it is,” he said between fits of laughter.

  Snatching the hat off his head, I started smacking his chest with it. His laughter just escalated as he hunched his shoulders and held his hands in front of his body. He grabbed my wrists, forcing me to drop his hat, as he yanked me across his lap. His laughter settled as he leered in my face. “It is funny and you know it.”

  Dipping his head, he caught my lips. He dropped my wrists and held my head, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. I clutched his biceps and lost myself in his kiss. I forgot that I was supposed to tell him that I couldn’t see him anymore. I forgot that I belonged to Dustin. I forgot everything but his mouth on mine and his sweet caresses.

  When the door suddenly burst open, Lucas drew back to glare at Collin.

  “Making up for lost time, kids?” Collin said with a laugh.

  Lucas sat up, taking me with him, and gestured vulgarly at his brother. He picked up his hat and crammed it on his head. “There’s Chinese in the fridge, bro.”

  “Ah, that’s right,” Collin said as he breezed through the room. “It’s your turn to cook.”

  “Hey, be glad I stopped for food and didn’t attempt to make anything,” Lucas countered, his eyes crinkling with his smile.

  “Yeah, thanks,” Collin shouted over his shoulder.

  Lucas kissed my neck and tucked my wild hair behind my head. “Do you want to stay tonight?”

  A blush warmed my neck, flooding my face, and I ducked my head to hide it. “Lucas, I can’t have sex right now.”

  He chuckled as he ran kisses up and down my neck. “We don’t always have to have sex. You can just hang out here with me and spend the night.”

  I wanted to – I wanted to so badly. But I couldn’t. I was supposed to be ending things. I was supposed to explain to him that I wanted to be with Dustin.

  “I need to get back to the dorm,” I said as I avoided his eyes. I got up to find my coat. I reached for the door knob as he stood behind me.

  “Sure,” he said slowly. “Um, okay, then. Will you be at Rusty’s Friday night?”

  I opened my mouth to tell him that I wouldn’t be there – that I had to end this. It was on the tip of my tongue to say that I couldn’t do this to Dustin anymore – or to myself. I wanted to just kiss him one last time and walk away forever. Of course I didn’t.

  “Yes, I’ll be there,” I said as I rose to my toes to place a soft kiss on his lips.

  “Drive safe, love.”

  ***

  School droned on and I worked hard – forcing my concentration on my classes. I was doing well but my classes were fairly easy. I couldn’t wait for the next semester when I could take something more challenging.

  The first chance I got to talk to my mother, I convinced her to take Tommy on a tour of the school. She promised that she would that week and she’d tell me all about it when I came home for the weekend. That eased a little anxiety and I hoped that Tommy would love it. I wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of battling with my grandfather.

  Dustin called me Thursday night but the sound of his voice didn’t stir the usual excitement. I pondered it briefly but pushed it aside for later review. My ‘to think about later’ file was filling rapidly and it worried me. I knew I had a lot of things to sort through before they all got out of hand and made a bigger mess.

  One thing I had decided was that I’d let my fling with Lucas continue until the semester break. I’d have to definitely end it then. Not only was it wrong to continue but I was scared to death someone would see him dropping me off at the dorms and Dustin would somehow find out. I knew he had a friend or two at Dunne-Browling, but I didn’t know them personally. Besides, Grandfather had spies everywhere.

  Dustin wanted to see me Friday night but I couldn’t do it. I’d told Lucas I would be at Rusty’s and I’d meant it. If I only had a few more Fridays with him, then I would appreciate and enjoy every last one.

  Morgan half-heartedly approved of my plan to end things after the semester break. She thought I should do it right away but settled for my deadline.

  Bailey thought I was being too hard on myself. She told me I was stupid and that I should continue until I got tired of it. She said no one knew about me and Lucas but my friends and his and no one was telling anyone.

  But I’d made my decision and I planned to stick to it. This time.

  I dressed in my favorite jeans – the ones that fit me the best – and a hunter green sweater that hugged my waist. I brushed my hair back carefully and allowed Morgan to apply a touch of makeup. I briefly entertained the thought of wearing the black dress I’d worn that Saturday night that I’d gone to that club with Dustin – but I pushed it away. I didn’t want to seem too obvious and besides, no one else would be dressed that way.

  When we arrived at Rusty’s, we headed for our usual table but Marissa the waitress stopped us.

  “That table is reserved, ladies,” she said with a smile. “Sorry.”

  “It’s reserved for them, darling,” Spencer said as he tugged Bailey to his chest to kiss her. A twinge of jealousy smacked me, making me wish I could do the same to Lucas -especially when he approached us wearing a tight, long-sleeved t-shirt advertising an Australian surf shop. His eyes raked over my body and I wished I didn’t have to wait for his show – I wanted him right then and there.

  “First round is on us,” Lucas said as he gave Marissa a wink. She smiled, took our drink orders, and scurried away.

  “Meet me at the truck after the show, love, if your little friend shows up,” Lucas whispered in my ear, making me shiver.

  “She’s not my friend,” I said with a slow smile. “She wants you.”

  His smirk caused my heart to somersault. He squeezed my arm as he let his eyes linger on my body again. “I have more than I can handle now.” He winked and followed the others to the stage.

  I fell to my seat, my legs like jelly, and was grateful when
the waitress brought our drinks. Bailey laughed at me and rested her arm on the back of my chair.

  Amber did show up halfway through the show and my insides burned. She wasn’t going to give up anytime soon and it worried me. Would she take my place when I finally ended this thing with Lucas? The fire in the pit of my stomach grew and rolled and made me light-headed. I couldn’t stand the thought of him touching her.

  I clenched my fists in my lap, only releasing them to slam the drinks that came at a steady pace. By the time Lucas finished, I wasn’t drunk but I was pretty tipsy.

  “Girl, I told you to slow down,” Morgan tsked. She helped me to my feet and with my coat while Bailey conversed with the guys. “I’ll walk you to his truck.”

  “I’m fine,” I said, horrified to be near tears. When I glanced over my shoulder, I caught Lucas’s concerned eyes. I smiled at him and allowed Morgan to steer me out the door and to Lucas’s truck.

  “Maybe you should come back to the dorm,” Morgan frowned.

  I shook my head, regretting it immediately as I swayed and lost balance and crashed against the truck. “No. I want to be with him, Morgan. I have to.”

  She sighed heavily as her sad eyes considered me. “I know you do. I just wish…oh, never mind.” She forced a smile. “Here comes Lucas. I’ll see you later.” She hugged me, patted Lucas’s arm, and disappeared.

  “Come on, love,” he said as he unlocked the truck. “In you go.”

  He helped me inside, buckled my seatbelt, then took off. I held his hand and leaned against his shoulder. We didn’t speak the whole way – not even as he helped me into the house. He dropped his bag and his guitar then unzipped my coat, tossing it on a chair. Gripping my shoulders, he stared into my eyes.

  “Do you feel sick?”

  “No,” I said and burst into tears.

  “Hey,” he said softly as he held me to his chest. “Shh, don’t cry, love.” He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head until my tears dried. “Better?”

  “Yeah, sorry,” I said as I wiped my face on my sleeve. “This is why I don’t drink – I always cry for no good reason.”

  He grinned and kissed me. “I need to take a shower and grab some grub. Do you want to get in my bed?”

  My heart started thumping again as I stood on my toes and captured his lips with mine. As I laced my hands behind his neck, I pressed my body against his. He tangled his hands in my hair and backed us toward his bedroom. I smiled in his mouth – this was exactly what I wanted.

  “Showering with me, then?” he muttered against my lips.

  “Yes.”

  He stripped us both in record time and started the shower. We stepped in without testing the temperature and I shrieked as the cold water hit my skin. Grinning, he held me against him as he adjusted the spray.

  “Better?”

  I stuck a hesitant hand under the water and nodded. Easing me under the spray, he lathered me up slowly, running his hands down my body in a way that set my already spinning head into orbit. He did more than just soap me up – he massaged my muscles, relaxing me, and turning me to mush. By the time he returned to my face, I was ready to explode.

  “Lucas, just push me against the wall again,” I begged.

  Chuckling, he kissed me which did not ease my desire in the least. “I forgot to grab a condom. We don’t want that sort of headache again, do we?”

  “Hurry,” I said as he kissed me again before racing to his bedroom. I warmed my slowly sobering body in the water and smiled when his hands gripped my hips. He kissed my shoulder.

  “Do you want me in here or in the bedroom?”

  “Here, now,” I said as I turned in his arms. He lifted me again and took me, his mouth all over my neck. I clutched his back, my nails digging in his skin.

  “I missed you so much,” he groaned as our bodies continued to dance intimately in the cooling water.

  “I missed you,” I said as I neared the edge. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and bit him as we shuddered together. “It’s cold,” I said as I gasped for breath. “The water.”

  He set me carefully on my feet and shut off the water. Pushing the curtain aside, he grabbed a towel off the rack to wrap around my body. He fetched one for himself and helped me out of the shower. I stepped into him, pressing my cheek to his chest. His arms snaked around me as he rested his head on mine.

  “How are you feeling?” he mumbled in my hair.

  “Not nearly so buzzed,” I said. “I think you sobered me up.”

  He chuckled and eased back to kiss me. “Glad I could help.”

  “Lucas, bro,” Collin shouted from the other side of the door. I jumped back into Lucas’s arms at the sound of another voice. “Dude, we have company so don’t come out naked.”

  “Shit,” he said as he continued to hold me. “Shit.”

  “Who is it?” I whispered.

  “Probably someone from the bar so that means I’m going to have to hide you,” he said with a frown. “Let me make sure my bedroom door is shut. Stay here.”

  I waited in the bathroom for a couple seconds, nervously gnawing on my lip. I knew it was that Amber broad and I knew I was going to do something totally stupid one day to keep her away from him.

  “Okay,” he smiled. He began collecting our clothes and I jumped out of my stupor to help. We dumped them on the bed before sorting out whose was whose. I started to dress but he stopped me, a fire in his eyes. “No, don’t get dressed. Here.” He fetched the same sweatpants and t-shirt that I wore last time and handed them to me. “Wait here and I’ll see who the hell is out there. If it’s just Spencer and Collin, I’ll come get you. If it’s anyone else, I’ll fake sick and come back to you.”

  My heart turned at his words and I smiled. “Okay. Hurry.”

  “I will,” he said as he tugged on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt. I buttoned it for him and kissed him. “I’ll be right back.”

  After he left, I crawled into his bed. I pulled the blankets to my chin and strained my ears to see if I recognized any of the voices. I heard mumbling but nothing clear enough to identify. Sighing, I closed my eyes, hoping he wouldn’t leave me for long.

  He squeezed through the door ten minutes later locking it behind him. He flipped on the light, temporarily blinding me, and crossed to the bathroom door. He locked that one, too, then smiled at me as he sank on the edge of the bed.

  “Well, Collin is here, as you know, as well as Spencer and Bailey.” He cringed and I knew what was coming next. “But Holly and Amber followed them all here.”

  “You’re kidding,” I groaned as I rolled to my back.

  He bent over me, planting a hand on the other side of my body. “I told them I wasn’t feeling well and that I was going to bed.”

  “I’m sure Amber is disappointed,” I mumbled childishly. I couldn’t help it – I hated that woman.

  When he kissed me, my anger seeped away. “Do you know what I think?”

  “Hm?” I asked as I tugged his mouth back to mine.

  He kissed me again. “I say the hell with it – just come out there with me. If she knows you’re with me then she’ll leave.”

  I froze and he sighed, disappointed. “Lucas, I can’t.”

  “Damn it, Irelyn – does she know your boyfriend? Your family?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “I’m tired of sneaking around – it’s starting to make this feel…dirty.”

  I scooted up the headboard, clutching the blanket to my chest as though I was naked. I glared murderously at him, anger flaring like a bad case of hemorrhoids.

  “I’m sorry, Lucas, but I can’t do that. If you don’t want to feel dirty anymore then I’ll leave. I just ask that you please let me wait until she’s gone.” I sniffed and rubbed my nose. “Or maybe Amber can come take my place, huh?”

  He cursed under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “Damn. Irelyn, I’m sorry. I know …don’t go, okay? I don’t want her here – I want you here.”

  “This is crazy,
” I groaned. “This was just supposed to be a one-night stand. How did it get this far?”

  I cradled my head in my hands and felt him move beside me. He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “Irelyn, love, forget I said anything.”

  “You’re right, Lucas. This isn’t fair to you,” I said.

  “If this is how you want things, then we’ll keep it this way. No rules, remember? Don’t stress about it, okay?” I sighed, wanting only to keep things the way they were. I didn’t want to decide anything – certainly not tonight. I just wanted him. I needed him. He was like my drug. I nodded and snuggled into him. “Let’s get some sleep, okay?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed.

  He slid off the bed to undress while my eyes feasted on him. He’d upset me – hell, I’d upset myself- but my body didn’t care. It came back to life and I reached for him as he crawled under the blankets. He shut off the light, kissing me fervently as he removed the t-shirt and sweats he’d given me earlier. I didn’t care if what I was doing was dirty. I didn’t care if it was wrong. I wanted him and I refused to be denied.

  Chapter 10

  I woke with a start to a pitch black room. I leaned over Lucas and squinted at the red numbers on his clock. It was barely after two but I could still hear voices on the other side of the door. Scrambling out of the bed, I fumbled with the clothes on the floor until I found a shirt. It was Lucas’s but it didn’t matter to me at that point. I pulled my arms through the sleeves, buttoning it clumsily. I needed the bathroom but was a little afraid to open that door.

  I pressed my ear to the bedroom door and listened to see if I could hear female voices. I heard a girlish chuckle that sounded familiar and my heart sang. Sinking to my knees, I crawled around until I located my bag. When I found my phone, I hit Bailey’s number. I grinned when I heard her ring tone in the other room.

  “Irelyn? What the hell are you doing calling my phone?”

  I sat on the floor, leaning against the bed as I smiled. “Who’s all out there with you?”