The Desire

by Gary Smalley

“How far apart are the contractions now?”

  “I think I heard about eight minutes. She’s in there now, getting a pep talk from one of the nurses. They’ve got a great staff here. No one’s treating her like, well . . . you know.”

  “How’s she doing . . . emotionally? Now that it’s really happening?”

  “Very well, as far as I can see. I’m sure it’ll be hard when the moment comes to actually . . .” Her mom paused, as if she couldn’t bear to say the words. “Let’s just say, I think Christina’s got a lot more courage for something like this than I would have. Have you called Allan?”

  “I have, but he can’t get off work. He wanted to, but he’s got a job out in the field. He was driving there when I called.”

  “So you’re going to be by yourself?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Marilyn looked at her watch. “I better get back. Harriet’s all alone in the store, and it’s almost the lunch hour. You call me if anything happens.”

  “I will.”

  “I get off at five. I’ll come right over after that.”

  They hugged and parted ways. Her mom had given her directions to Christina’s room. When she got there, she was told Christina was still talking with the nurse. She mentioned she was there as Christina’s birthing coach, and they led her to a comfortable chair next to the bed. A chair Michele figured was normally used by anxious husbands.

  She probably wasn’t as anxious as they were, but now that she was here, she was feeling pretty tense. She wondered how Allan would do when the time finally came for them to share a room like this.

  They had been doing well over the last four weeks. Allan especially so. He had made good on his decision to shift his focus from all-things-Africa to supporting their efforts to start a family. She knew he was serious when he had moved all the money from his mission’s savings account to a new “Our Child” account he’d set up to cover the significant expenses they would incur. And he agreed that all of Michele’s teaching money could go into the fund. Every single penny.

  That wasn’t all. They had agreed he would devote only one evening a week to the new orphanage project for Ray. Several times, Allan worked on his computer until well after midnight, but he kept that boundary line in place. She was proud of him, and this restriction didn’t seem to hurt his ability to fulfill his commitment to Ray. That morning at breakfast, he’d told her he had finished the orphanage proposal and sent it off to Ray for final review.

  He was so pleased. Not just that he’d finished the proposal but that he had been able to keep his heart in check this past month. He’d gotten everything done for Ray and had still kept their relationship in first place the whole time. “I have, haven’t I?” he’d said.

  It was so sweet. This little boy look came over his face when he’d said it. Michele was glad she could say, “You definitely have, hon. I’m really proud of you.”

  Her cell phone rang, startling her. She looked at the screen. It was Jean.

  “So Christina’s in labor? I just read it on Facebook.”

  “Who posted it?” Michele asked.

  “Christina. Looks like from her phone. Maybe twenty-five minutes ago.”

  “She definitely is,” Michele said.

  “Are you with her now?”

  “I haven’t seen her yet. But I’m in her room. She’s talking with the head nurse in another room. I guess she’s explaining everything to her. They told me they’ll be bringing her in any minute.”

  “How far apart?”

  “The contractions? Mom said eight minutes.”

  “Is your mom there?”

  “No, just me. And Christina. Mom just dropped her off. She had to get back to the store. She won’t be back until after five.”

  “You think she’ll have the baby before then?”

  “I guess it’s possible. You’d probably know better than me. You’ve done this three times.”

  “It’s hard to say,” Jean said. “The first one’s always the hardest to predict. You could be there all day today and still be there tonight.”

  “I hope it’s not that long.”

  “Wish I could be there with you, but Mom’s usually my babysitter during the day.”

  “I’ll be all right. Christina’s the one with the hard part.”

  “Well, call me if you have any questions. And definitely after the baby’s born.”

  “I will.”

  “And tell Christina we love her. The kids and I are praying for her.”

  Michele hung up and was just about to put the phone back in her purse when it rang again. This time it was Doug. Why was he calling?

  “Hey, Michele, it’s Doug.”

  “I already knew that.”

  “So Christina’s gone into labor. I just saw it on Facebook.”

  “It definitely looks like today is the day.”

  “You know how much more time she has left? Before the baby comes, I mean?”

  “Not really. It could be a couple of hours or anytime between then and sometime tonight.”

  “Good. Then I’ve got time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m coming down. Christina and I have become pretty good friends on Facebook, and we send each other emails every now and then. I just want to be there to support her. I think it’s a pretty brave thing she’s doing.”

  Wow, this was unexpected. “I think so too. Are you hoping to get here before the baby comes?”

  “Not so much then. But after, when, you know . . .”

  “She has to let the baby go?” Michele choked up saying it.

  “Yeah, then,” Doug said.

  37

  It was almost five o’clock. Allan was getting ready to go home, then he realized Michele wouldn’t be there. She was at the hospital with Christina. He picked up his phone to call her.

  “Hello? Allan?”

  “It’s me. Just calling to check on things, see how you’re doing. How’s the labor coming along?”

  “I’m with Christina now. The contractions are a lot more painful than they were, and they’re about five minutes apart.”

  “That means it’s getting close, doesn’t it?”

  “Closer, but they told us it still could be several more hours.”

  Guess that meant he’d be eating dinner on his own. “Are you hungry? Can I bring you something to eat?”

  “Thanks, but we already have that covered. Mom gets off at five, and she’s going to pick up something on the way.”

  “You need anything from the house?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “How’s Christina doing, you know, emotionally?”

  “Amazing so far. Hold on a minute. Let me just step outside into the hallway.” Allan heard the phone rustle then a pause. “It must just be God’s grace. I think I’d be a wreck if I were in her shoes. But she seems to be doing fine. Are you on your way home?”

  “Almost. I’ll be leaving in a few minutes.”

  “Sorry I won’t be there.”

  “Me too, but it’s for a good cause. I’ll pick up something on the way home. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be praying for you guys.”

  “Especially for Christina.”

  “Right. Love you much.”

  “Love you too,” she said. “I’ll call you when I have news.”

  After he said good-bye and hung up, the phone icon on his cell indicated a missed call. He clicked it and saw it was Ray. He clicked again, and the phone began ringing. “Hey, Ray, it’s Allan. Just calling you back.”

  “Thanks, Allan. About quitting time for you, isn’t it?”

  “I’ll be heading out the door as soon as we’re done talking. What’s up?”

  “Just wanted to thank you for that proposal you sent this morning. It was perfect. I mean that literally.”

  Wow, perfect. Literally perfect. Allan wasn’t sure he’d go that far, though. “Glad you liked it.”

  “I spent all morning on it, then used it during several ph
one conversations this afternoon. But I’m not kidding about the perfect remark. When I got to your bottom line, I could hardly believe my eyes.”

  Allan wondered if Ray thought he’d come in too high. Ray was looking for a specific figure showing how much they’d need to operate the orphanage the first two years. That was the amount the government of Ethiopia wanted to see before they’d give their full permission. “Did the amount make you happy or disappointed?”

  “Extremely happy. You’re not going to believe this. You know our church is getting behind this in a big way. Just last night I got the final tally from the other churches. Guess how much it came to?”

  “Are we close to my bottom line?”

  “Not close. We surpassed it. By four thousand dollars.”

  “We raised thirty-nine-thousand dollars?”

  “Can you believe it?” Ray said. “I just got off the phone with Henok in Ethiopia. I’ve never heard him so excited.”

  “So it’s official,” Allan said. “We’re really going to do it?”

  “I believe we are. Isn’t God great?”

  “He certainly is.” Instantly, Allan pictured little Ayana’s face. They had only budgeted for six orphans initially. Eventually they hoped the project would grow to include hundreds. But Ray had already said he would do everything he could to make sure Ayana was one of those first six children. “What’s the next step?”

  “Well, now that we have your budget proposal, which proves we’ve already raised enough money to get started, job one for me tomorrow is to plan another trip over there. When Henok got over the shock of hearing all the money we raised, I asked him what he thought the next step should be. He’s been interacting with his contact person in the government constantly. He told me he’s using the persistent widow approach to keep this thing in front of them. He said they would definitely need to see somebody from America over there soon, someone who could confirm everything he’s been saying. To prove the money’s real. I told him to go ahead and set up that meeting next week, and as soon as he had the dates confirmed, I’d book a flight.”

  “That’s wonderful, Ray. I imagine they’re going to want to see some of that money, not just hear you talk about it. Have you thought about that?”

  “No, that’s a good point. I’ll shoot off an email to Henok, see if he can get them to nail down some specific amounts for some of the up-front fees and expenses. I see you have a category for that in your proposal. How confident do you feel about that number?”

  “It’s a pretty solid guess. I contacted several other mission groups working in Ethiopia. Those numbers are based on an average from what they told me. The one thing that’s not included is a bribe fund. No way to come up with a number for that.”

  “Is that something we’re likely to run into?”

  “Hopefully not. Only one of the groups I talked to did. It’s hit or miss over there, depends on the people you wind up working with.”

  There was a pause. “Well, we’re just going to have to pray God gives us officials with integrity.”

  “Where are the monthly pledges at so far?” Allan asked. According to his figures, they needed to reach two thousand dollars a month for the first year. A shockingly low amount if the same project were undertaken in the States. They might need to raise that much each week.

  “We’re there,” Ray said. “And one of the churches still has another presentation to make this Sunday. I know we need to start small, get all the bugs worked out, all our legal ducks lined up in a row. But I don’t think we’ll be stuck at six children for long.”

  “That’s great news, Ray. You’ve really made my day.”

  “Well, you made mine when you sent me that proposal this morning. Know how you can make my day even better?”

  “How’s that?”

  “Say you’ll go to Africa with me next week.”

  Why hadn’t Allan seen that one coming? He took a deep breath, steeled his resolve. It was so hard to say no to Ray. Part of him really wanted to go. “I can’t this time, Ray. There’s just no way.”

  “Can’t get the time off so soon from the last trip?”

  “No, it’s more than that. I should’ve talked to you about this sooner. We probably need to grab a lunch together for me to explain it properly. It has to do with me and Michele. You know we talked about how hard it’s been for us to get pregnant.”

  “You been trying for over year, right?”

  “Yeah. It’s hard to explain. But Michele’s been feeling kind of . . . well, unsupported might be the right word. I’ve been giving all my energy and interest to these Africa trips, really, since we got married. I’ve been spending a lot of money on them too. It turns out, a lot of the infertility things we may need to do aren’t insured, so we’re going to need to start tucking money away for that.”

  “I get it, Allan. No need to apologize. You’re doing the right thing. I just love your company, and you’ve been such a part of this thing from the beginning.”

  “I’d love to come, Ray. Take some pics for me.”

  “I will.”

  “No, I’m serious. Me or one of the guys usually takes pics on these trips. If you go by yourself, you’ll forget. It’s not just for me. This is a historic moment for the orphanage. We’ve got to get some pictures.”

  “Okay, I’ll do it.”

  Allan thought a moment. “Maybe you should teach Henok how to use the camera.”

  38

  Marilyn arrived at the hospital around 5:30, carrying some takeout from Giovanni’s for her and Michele. For most of the afternoon, it had been hard for Marilyn to keep her mind on her work. She wanted to be here. As she walked the halls toward the birthing room, she felt as tense as she had for all three of Jean’s babies.

  She was also carrying a small wrapped box tied with a pink ribbon and bow. Just a little gift for Christina she’d bought with her employee discount at Odds-n-Ends. Something to ease the pain Marilyn knew she’d be experiencing a few hours from now when it came time to release the baby. Although she totally agreed with Christina’s decision, she couldn’t imagine being able to go through with it, if she were facing the same challenge at that age. Or any age, really.

  Before she’d left to come here, she and Jim had prayed for Christina over the phone. Both of them had cried a little. It was hard to accept the fact that they would never see Christina’s baby girl, or hold her, or even hear her cry. But now she needed to be strong for Christina.

  She found the room and knocked gently on the door before going in. The room was pleasantly decorated. Gave the appearance of a large River Oaks bedroom more than a hospital room. Except, of course, the hospital bed. Christina appeared to be blowing or panting in response to Michele’s instructions. Beads of sweat gathered across her forehead. “How far apart now?” Marilyn asked.

  “Still five minutes,” Michele said. “But they’re more intense now.” She reached for a washcloth, rinsed it in some water, then wiped Christina’s forehead. “You’re doing just fine.”

  “I brought you some fettuccine alfredo. But you’re busy. I’ll set it over here on the nightstand. You can nibble at it when you get a break.”

  “Thanks. I really am hungry. We won’t make you sick if we eat, will we?” she asked Christina.

  “I don’t think so. I’m not hungry at all. You won’t even tempt me.”

  Marilyn set her to-go carton down with Michele’s. She didn’t feel right eating by herself.

  After Christina finished her heavy-breathing episode, Michele held a styrofoam cup up to Christina’s lips. “Take a few ice chips. We don’t want you getting dehydrated.”

  “Did they give you any idea how much further you had to go?” Marilyn said.

  Christina shook her head. “I hope it’s not too long. Everything I read said your first labor is the longest.”

  “It was for me.” Her first, Tom, took almost twenty hours. But she didn’t want to tell Christina that.

  “All I know is, there’s no way
I’m going through this again unless I’m married and bringing the baby home. This really hurts. I can’t imagine the pain getting worse.”

  Oh, it will, Marilyn thought. It was time for the distraction. “Here.” She pulled the gift out from behind her back. “Just a little something for you.”

  Christina’s eyes opened wide, and she smiled, no trace of pain on her face for the moment. “What is it?”

  Marilyn handed it to her. “Open it, before the next contraction comes.”

  Christina reached for it and quickly began to unwrap it. Beneath the paper was a white cardboard gift box. She slid her finger across the front, breaking the Scotch tape. She gasped with delight as she looked inside. “I can’t believe you got this.” She lifted out a Precious Moments porcelain angel figurine. “It’s way too expensive.”

  Marilyn had watched Christina pick up this angel many times in the store with obvious desire. Then she’d turn it over and look at the price and instantly set it down. A few days ago she had asked, “Know the next time the Precious Moments figurines go on sale?”

  “I love it, Marilyn. Thank you so much.”

  “It’s so cute, Mom,” Michele said.

  Christina spun it around slowly. “Here,” she said, handing it to Michele. “You better take it. I may fling it across the room when the next contraction hits.”

  “I have something else that I hope will cheer you up,” Marilyn said. “Jim and I talked about this several days ago. I’ve been meaning to talk to you since then, but we kept missing each other. And now you’re here.”

  “And now I’m here. What is it?”

  “How would you like to keep renting the garage apartment, for good?”

  “You mean, I don’t have to move out when I come home from the hospital?”

  “Nope. You can stay and live there as long as you want.”

  “Really? But what about Doug? Won’t he want to come back and live there himself?”

  Marilyn shook her head. “Already called him. Since Tom and Jean moved into Audrey Windsor’s house last week, he said he’d be fine staying in one of the upstairs bedrooms when he comes home.”

  Christina smiled. “You sure about this?”