Mermaid Fins, Winds & Rolling Pins

by Erin Johnson

  Wow. That'd be a giant wedding cake.

  Delphine gestured at Maple. "Tell her what you want."

  "M'kay." Winnie wiggled more upright, Chuck's arm still draped around her shoulders. She counted off on her sparkly nailed fingers. "I want like a really big cake with lots of levels."

  "Oh!" Maple sang a quick tune to herself. "Quill and paper come to hand, and don't forget the blotting sand." A scroll and a feathered quill appeared before Maple and jotted down Winnie's list of demands.

  "…and I want us to be riding a seahorse on top made out of cookies."

  Maple looked pale, but nodded.

  "And then I want a thousand cupcakes inside their own bubbles so they stay dry and we'll send them out to all the guests—like, whoo! Cupcake bubbles! And everyone's gonna freak!"

  Maple scanned the long list that now hung nearly to her knees. Winnie wanted enough pastries and confections to feed an army, and wanted them all so elaborate that a tenth this much work would takes us weeks. Maple spoke, but it came out as a squeak. She coughed, bubbles spraying from her mouth and nose, then started again. "And when is the wedding?"

  Winnie looked to her grandma, who remained stone-faced, then grinned at Maple. She bit her lip. "Well, we were going to have our engagement party this weekend, but… we figured, why wait? If I take one thing away from Bubbles's death, it's that life's short and YOLO, am I right? So we thought, everyone's here now, let's just do it!"

  Maple paled. "Do… what?"

  Winnie squealed. "Get married! Tonight's the rehearsal dinner, so we'll need all of that so we can rehearse eating it, then just another batch of all that again tomorrow for the actual wedding. M'kay?"

  Maple swooned and I grabbed her under the arms and kicked hard to keep us from sinking.

  Delphine pressed a few fingertips gingerly to her collarbone. "I say. Is she all right?" She leaned back in her throne as if Maple might be contagious.

  I nodded. "Yep, just—" I grunted as I shoved Maple upright. "Still getting her sea legs."

  "Do not speak of legs in my presence." Delphine scrunched up her nose.

  All right, weirdo. Are feet out then, too?

  Winnie leaned over and trailed her fingertips around Chuck's chest. "My dad had legs." She cocked a brow. "I like that in a man."

  Too much wrong about that to even begin unpacking it.

  "I told you my mom lives on land now, right?" Winnie turned to me and I nodded. Guess she'd forgotten to be mad at me. "See, she met my dad, who was a human sailor, and they fell in love."

  "Lust, more like it," Delphine grumbled.

  "And the sea witch helped her run away to the land."

  "With that no good louse of a—" Delphine spoke through gritted teeth.

  "And then my mom got pregnant with me." Winnie leaned forward and grew serious. "But the problem is, I was a mermaid, which is fine if you're in the ocean, but on land, it's very, very dry and I came out tail first, which meant all my scales were facing the wrong way and—"

  I winced. Ouch.

  Delphine interrupted. "So she returned her to the ocean to be free. Can we get on with the catering?"

  Winnie twirled her hair around a finger. "Grandma says Mom flushed me down the toilet like an alligator that got too big." She blinked her big, blank eyes at me. "What's an alligator?"

  "Let's discuss appetizers." Delphine nodded at Maple.

  Winnie threw an arm around her grandma, who stiffened. "So my grandma raised me."

  Delphine nodded. "Yes. And she didn't raise you to keep a person waiting. Deliver your order for appetizers, now!"

  Winnie widened her eyes at the reproof, but just giggled. "Grandma's just mad she isn't queen anymore—she loved this stuff. I'm just like, I don't care what you make—I'll put whatever in my mouth."

  Chuck nodded. "Truth."

  Delphine pinched the bridge of her nose.

  "Why did—why did your grandma step down?"

  Glaucus shot me a fiery look. I ignored him and turned to Winnie.

  "She had a heart attack and stepped down because she couldn't take the stress. It sucked. But now I'm queen—whoo!" She pawed for her grandma, who leaned away from her. "Don't let her fool you, me and Grannie are besties."

  Delphine glared. "You're the reason for my heart attack."

  Winnie giggled. "I love you too, Grandma."

  Maple cleared her throat. "You—you must be so proud."

  Glaucus choked. Delphine sneered. "Oh, I couldn't be prouder that my only granddaughter is marrying the scurvy-infected, eyeliner-wearing king of the pirates." She leaned around Winnie to address Chuck. "The eye makeup really brings out your jaundice." She threw herself against the back of her throne and crossed her thin arms. "Let's hope those scales protect against STDs."

  "Grandma!" Winnie looked scandalized.

  Delphine scoffed. "What? They don't hand out pirate crowns for clean living." She turned her face and muttered to herself. "I should've never stepped down from the throne." She played with a white ring around her thin finger.

  I lifted a brow and tried to not to seem overly interested. But I couldn't wait to get Maple alone and hear her thoughts, because for me, Delphine had just become a suspect. Clearly she was unhappy with her granddaughter and her court. Maybe she’d hoped a murder would end the wedding.

  If that'd been her plan, it had backfired.

  17

  Baking

  In the end, Maple and I talked Winnie down from some of her excessive designs. But she still wanted a sea snakin' treasure chest cake filled with edible coins and jewelry. It would've been fun to make if it weren't for the fact that she'd only given us eight hours to do it in.

  Maple and I had dashed back from our meeting and burst into the shipwreck kitchen. We'd scattered the game of dominoes and called everyone around the table for an emergency meeting. We banged out a plan in under twenty minutes, and soon had the whole team bustling. Now, between the warmth of the fires, the damp, muggy air under the sea, and the heat from dashing around, I'd worked up a sweat.

  Maple looked up from the sea horse she spun from amber strands of caramel. "Yann, an update on that fondant?"

  Yann lifted the lid on a big blue mixing bowl. Icy mist floated out and he quickly replaced the lid. "Yoost aboot twenty more meenoots."

  Maple nodded and went back to work.

  "Top one's ready." Iggy shifted to the back of the oven and I donned my trusty red oven mitts. I pulled the round cake pan from the top rack and took slow, measured steps to the nearest work table. I set the cake down next to Maple.

  "Seems to be going better," I muttered out of the corner of my mouth.

  She and I glanced across the hull to Wiley, who stood hunched over a work table violently cutting out shortbread mermaids. Maple gave me a look. "I think we're just too busy to fight."

  I lifted a brow. "Are you still mad at him?"

  Her face fell. "Yes. But for what? He was talking to a mermaid—I'm not allowed to get mad."

  I gave her a sympathetic look. "But you are."

  "But I am." She groaned, quietly.

  "Hey, you didn't take out the competition, did you?" I gave a dry chuckle, but Maple paled. "Sorry, way too soon."

  She leaned close. "No, it's not that. You don't think—you don't think Wiley had anything to do with it, do you?"

  I scoffed. "Wiley? He's a bit wild and immature, but no way."

  She shook her head and spoke in a whisper. "I know—I agree. But, he was talking to Bubbles the night she died. And I did recently bail him out of jail for a bar fight."

  I tilted my head side to side. I could see where she was coming from—a history of violence and he'd had a lot to drink that night. "What do you think?"

  She sighed. "No. I don't think he'd ever do something like that. It'd make it easier not to like him, though."

  I laughed. "Oh, so now you're hoping he's a murderer?"

  Maple pressed a finger to her lips. "Shh. He'll hear. No, of course not."
r />   I chuckled and she clicked her tongue at me. She turned back to her sea horse and crumpled it up. "Oh, I am just not in the right head space for this right now." She moved to Sam. "Sam, think we could trade tasks?"

  She explained the sea horse concept to him as I loaded a couple more pans of batter into the oven. Fire danced up K'ree's arms as she conducted a symphony of utensils—spoons mixing batter, knives cutting butter, and pans lining up to be filled. After I loaded the last pan, I turned to find Sam using his wand to form delicate, intricate seahorses out of caramel.

  I gasped. "Sam! That's beautiful—they look like they're made of blown glass—only better."

  He grinned and turned bright red. "You're ssso kind."

  I shook my head. "No—that's really beautiful."

  K'ree nodded as she eyed the creations hovering in the air in front of him. "Really impressive, Sam."

  Maple returned to my side. "So—any thoughts on who the real killer is? I'd feel better knowing they'd been caught—and that Bon didn't think we had anything to do with it."

  I nodded. "Delphine seemed pretty upset, didn't you think?"

  Maple's eyes widened. "I'm glad she's not my grandma."

  I snuck a finger of cake batter and savored the sugary goodness. "Mm-hmm. But I haven't ruled out Winnie or Chuck either. Maybe they worked together?"

  Maple glanced sideways at me as she handed me a chilled ball of dough. I grabbed a rolling pin and started rolling. "Why would they kill their friend though?"

  I sighed. "I'm not sure. We need to find out more about those brandy balls she had us make. Maybe it had something to do with those."

  18

  The Rehearsal Dinner

  I'd hoped catering the rehearsal dinner would mean delivering the elaborate treasure chest we'd baked, setting it up, and then skedaddling. Not so much. Maple, K'ree, Annie, and I had been given the uniform "shell bra" to wear as staff. At least it covered more than the fellas' bowties. Annie had looked from the strapless blue bra to her ample bosom and laughed.

  "There's no possible way in all the magical kingdoms, my dear." She'd patted the wardrobe gal's arm and moseyed away, still wearing her off-the-shoulder top. K'ree, Maple, and I, lacking Annie's sass, complied and donned the stiff, uncomfortable garments. K'ree spiffed hers up with one of her scarves, keeping the other wrapped around her head.

  I looked her up and down. "You're cheating."

  She grinned back.

  We set up the treasure chest cake on a special table inside a large bubble, which kept it dry. We'd made the chest from Yann's gingerbread recipe, while Annie tackled the chocolate coin treasure.

  Wiley'd made the shortbread mermaids that rode atop the caramel seahorses, while Maple and I had formed the cake inside the chest and formed strings of pearls, brooches, and tiaras from fondant. The guests began to file in, and we were handed bottles of champagne and plates of appetizers, and ordered to act as waiters.

  I grudgingly went along with it, but only because it presented an opportunity for snooping. I moved down the long table, leaning over chatting guests and refilling champagne bottles.

  They kept their beverages in beautiful stoppered flasks that reminded me of perfume bottles—only uncorking them to drink. A weighted white table cloth spanned the length of the table. White coral formed centerpieces, with silver candlesticks and cutlery at all the place settings. Very elegant and very not Winnie—it must've been Delphine's doing.

  The old queen sat at the head of the table facing our dessert display, which sat on its own table at the other end of the long, cavernous hall. I caught my breath when I spotted Hank swim in in merman form. I turned and swam to the other end of the crowded hall.

  Everyone made their way to their seats, until every last guest perched on a hovering white chair. Thankfully, Hank sat at the far end of the long table in the section Yann was serving. Maybe I could get away with avoiding him for another night.

  Delphine lifted a stoppered orb of sparkling gold liquid. The other guests did the same and waited for her to speak. "Honored guests, thank you for joining me and my family as we celebrate my granddaughter's wedding to—" She looked from Winnie on her left, to the pirate king seated on her right.

  Her eyelids quivered, I assumed from the effort it took not to roll her eyes. "—to this guy." She lifted her bottle. "To their marriage." While everyone else politely clinked their bottles together, Delphine downed hers in one shot. I darted forward to refill it.

  "What a beautiful dinner." I looked around the stone hall, the peaked ceiling draped with gauzy white fabric that waved in the sea current. Fish darted in and out of the open windows.

  Delphine snorted and chugged the next stopper of champagne. "Keep them coming."

  As I refilled, I tried another tack to get information. "I was so sorry to hear about the tragedy."

  Delphine shot back her third glass of champagne. She lifted a slim shoulder. "The girl was a disgrace—ocean's better off without her."

  I startled and glanced at Winnie to see her reaction at such a harsh statement, but she was too busy making eyes at Chuck. I wondered what she'd think of her grandma speaking about her friend that way. Then again, Winnie hadn't seemed too pleased with Bubbles last night at the club. I cleared my throat as I poured more champagne—that I just realized somehow didn't mix with the ocean water. Now that was magical.

  "I'm sure you think me uncouth." Delphine lifted a sculpted brow. "But she was a bad influence on my granddaughter and on the whole court."

  "Agreed." Glaucus thudded the butt of his knife on the table. He sat a few guests down on Delphine's left. "The things we do for our grandchildren," he muttered.

  Delphine furrowed her brow. "Like you know anything about that."

  Glaucus turned bright red. He dabbed his lips with a cloth napkin.

  Delphine scoffed. "He has no grandchildren, he's just being a tail kisser."

  I cleared my throat. An older mermaid who sat down the table dripping in abalone jewelry raised her glass and tried to catch my eye to get a refill. I turned and ignored her, hoping to get just a couple more questions in with Delphine while I had her attention.

  "Well, in any case, I want you to know that even though I baked the brandy ball Bubbles had eaten, I had no idea it was laced with anything."

  Glaucus coughed and pounded his chest with a fist.

  Delphine lifted a slim brow at him.

  He snorted. "How do you know such a thing? I hadn't heard that?"

  I lifted a shoulder. "I was there when Inspector Bon found it."

  He paled, then scoffed. "Probably just shoddy police work—I'm sure it wasn't laced with anything." He pushed back from the table. "If you'll excuse me."

  He turned and swam out of the stone hall.

  Delphine rolled her eyes. "His bladder's the size of a sand crab—always scuttling off in the middle of things."

  I lowered my voice. "So, back to Bubbles being a bad influence— I suppose that's why you asked Glaucus to keep an eye on Winnie at the club? You were worried about Bubbles getting her into trouble?"

  Delphine looked me up and down, her eyes flashing. "Her name is Aerwyna, not that vulgar 'Winnie' nonsense."

  I gulped. "Right, sorry. Ma'am."

  The woman waiting for a refill loudly cleared her throat. I gritted my teeth and held up a finger to signal that I needed a moment.

  Delphine narrowed her eyes and turned to more fully look at me. "You said you saw that old geezer lurking around the club?"

  I nodded and she rolled her eyes. "Right. You think I'm likely to ask my lo—my adviser, to go watch a bunch of scantily clad young women shake their goods? The perv." She must've noticed my look of shock because she added, "I mean, I certainly don't want a report on their licentious behavior." She huffed as she stared down the table. "I already see more than enough of it firsthand."

  I straightened. Two of the seal-fighting mermen tossed seaweed berries across the table into each other's mouths, and a mermaid next to
Winnie ate her sea cucumber rather suggestively.

  "Erp!" Delphine cried, and pushed her chair back from the table. She looked Chuck up and down. "My word, young man!"

  Winnie burst into giggles and Chuck flashed the old queen a sideways grin. "My apologies—I thought I was playing finsie with your granddaughter."

  Delphine's eyes blazed but she simply raised her bottle. "More!” I moved to refill her champagne, but she swatted me away. "I need something stronger." She snapped her fingers at another server, who dashed off to bring her something harder.

  I moved down the line refilling drinks, but my mind was elsewhere. So Delphine clearly regretted giving up the throne—maybe she assumed a court scandal as big as a murder would cause the court to fall into such disgrace Winnie had no choice but to give power back to her? I couldn't see her getting her hands dirty, though.

  Maybe she'd ordered her longtime adviser, Glaucus, to do it? But she'd seemed genuinely surprised to learn he'd been hanging around the club. And if she didn't order it, why was he there at all? I had a long night ahead of me to try and get some answers.

  19

  Party

  "Woo-hoo! Now this is more like it!" Winnie danced as she leaned against her pirate fiancé. Our crowded rowboat rocked with her gyrations. We floated through the center tunnel on our way to the Cove. Dark, humid air hugged us close as our boat dodged moonbeams. Sam pushed his glasses up his nose and hugged his knees closer against him.

  He glanced at the choppy water just inches below the side of the boat. "You're sssure we're not going to sssink?"

  Valonzy shot him a hard look. "You know the saying—sink and swim."

  She almost got it. I patted Sam's shoulder. "We're almost there—we'll be fine." I hoped.