Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series)

by Jane, Kimberlee

  I wanted to hug him. “How many have you had?”

  “Four.”

  “Four. That's a lot of experience you have.”

  “Those marks on your legs. What are they from, ankle cuffs?”

  “Rope, from my first ever pain session. My Top forgot to check in with the restraints. It wasn't something he forgot again.”

  I remembered Rhys pulling me higher onto my knees, ropes knotted around my ankles and held under two legs of his couch. He had brought me from standing to kneeling with pain. I still didn't know how long it had continued. Until I felt calm instead of being drowned by my masochistic side's desire for pain. Rhys had been ready to tie me in a new position when I felt all of his dominance pull away. His safety knife cut through the ropes and I was made to understand what had happened. I'd struggled enough for the ropes to leave permanent burn marks on the side of my ankles. The itching pain of them digging into my skin had been numbed by the pain he had inflicted.

  “Does he still take Top for you?”

  “No, I've branched away from wanting to submit that way. It was my submission pit against his dominance. That's not what I'm looking for.”

  “Your submission against his dominance? He forced you to submit?”

  “No! No, sorry. Again.” Though I liked how cold Quinn looked, asking. “He liked pushing me so I'd give in and use my safeword. After I felt sure about my endurance for pain, I wanted someone who would do more than just inflict it.”

  He looked down at my ankle again and his eyebrow rose slowly. “That was your Intro to s/m? You didn't think to start with scarves, or, I don't know,... something lighter?”

  “I didn't feel that it would be as exciting. Had that opportunity come first, I... I'm not sure I would submit. I'd need to know he was capable of giving me pain first.”

  “You know what kind of submissive you are. I like that a lot.”

  “... but I don't. That's what I'm trying to find out. All I know is what kind of dominance I can submit for.”

  “Your Top released you as his submissive?” He smiled in a way I didn't understand. “Why would he do that?”

  “I asked him to. He agreed that I should find someone more compatible.”

  “You handled that very rationally.”

  “I don't want to regret the things I do as a submissive.”

  “You're more sure than some-” He paused and sighed slowly. “My last submissive wasn't a real submissive. It was something I should have noticed right away, but I didn't until she started testing my dominance. It was a bad judgment call on my part.”

  “What does that mean, she tested you?”

  “I don't like playing the games she did. It was a power play from beginning to end. That's not what I'm looking for in a submissive. We weren't together for very long.”

  “I'm sorry.”

  “Things got really chaotic when the stock market crashed. People scrambled, panicking, and the business I run took a big hit. I made some bad decisions that year all 'round.”

  “Do you mind me asking-? Were your other submissives okay?”

  “As you said, we weren't right for one another, but we didn't part on bad terms. What about after your Top?”

  “There's no after.”

  “What?”

  “I haven't had a Dominant yet, just the Top I had for pain sessions.”

  “Really.”

  “Yes...” I replied, suddenly feeling wary.

  “No reason, I was just curious. I like that you enjoy sex so rough.”

  “Why the emphasis? Was it--?” I wasn't sure what he meant.

  “Really, really good? Yes.”

  “I'm glad you think so.”

  “Don't you?” he asked, confused. “You look so nervous.”

  Because I had never done what he did so easily. “I've had sex before, just not like that. If I did something to-”

  “You've never had sex before like, what? Aside from you laying on your side.”

  “With aggression, roughness.”

  He looked stunned. “What about your Top?”

  “We didn't get that far.”

  “You should have told me that before I pulled you into bed.”

  “You didn't pull me into bed.”

  “You're right. I carried you there.” But he stopped glaring at me when I sighed.

  “If I had told you, would you have held back more?”

  “Yeah. Just a little, maybe.” He went still, staring into nothingness for a moment. “Do you like having your wrists tied?”

  “To what?”

  “To my bed. Where were you thinking?”

  “I've never been restrained to a bed.”

  “What have you been restrained on? Against?”

  “A table. To a couch, once. Only to receive pain, though.”

  “What else do you like?”

  “I liked when you held me down. I'm not talking about being forced to, you know-- I'm not into abduction scenes or anything... darker.”

  He recoiled slightly, his eyes dark and hard. “That's not how I want submission. I don't do scenes like that either.”

  The walls and shields that had always protected me didn't work around Quinn. I wanted him again, without all of the restrictions... “Why are you asking me these things?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. “To know limits for sex?”

  “That's part of it, yes.”

  “While talking helps now, it won't later. …it's been too long. Do you know what sub frenzy means?”

  It was churning inside of me, bright eyes appearing in my mind, searching for dominance. He was a Dominant, but that didn't make him my Dominant. Though I desperately wanted him to give me pain. The clawing, tearing sensations low in my chest left me breathless. It was worse than it had ever been, the conversation having me feel like I'd done an intense, edge-play session. I felt soothed fear, an overwhelming sense of pleasure, submission because he felt so safe... the yearning was terrible. When I looked up at him, I knew he had seen what it looked like. My eyes lowered and I breathed slowly, waiting for his answer.

  “Yes,” Quinn breathed out slowly. “I'm familiar with that term. You take s/m very seriously.”

  “Admitting I'm a submissive makes me really nervous.”

  “Because you want pain.”

  “Yes.” I laughed. “What you just said took me years to understand. I thought something was wrong with me. It was simple, once I accepted it.”

  “You thought something was wrong with you? Why?”

  “I felt really depraved for wanting someone who should care about me to, well... to hurt me. Then I stopped caring about the why's and tried it. I haven't felt guilty about it since. It feels too good.”

  “I struggled with that for a few years, too. It didn't make me feel guilty, exactly, but I did feel... not right about it.”

  “How did you realize you're a Dominant?”

  “I found some videos, some instructional sites. It was pretty much, 'Oh, I've done that. I've done that, too. I want to do that--' so I learned how.”

  I hesitated, but felt curiosity continuing to prick at me. “With a submissive?”

  “... with a very experienced submissive. We connected online, met up, and she agreed to have me as her Dominant for a year. About a year. When she needed to move on with a more experienced Dom, I let her go.”

  “And you say I'm rational.”

  “She taught me a lot. That was the problem. I wasn't experienced enough for her yet.”

  “Yet. And now?”

  “I don't know. That's for my next submissive to decide.”

  The room spun as submission washed over me. “One question, please, before we go back to Checklist stuff?”

  “You don't need to check with me before you ask a question. Is it okay to set that precedent?”

  “Yes... Thank you.”

  “I like that you know what Checklists are.”

  “I'm happy you know what they are, but it really does-” hurt. I flinched
inside and wrapped what was left of my sanity around me. “If we have similar wants and limits... I'm not asking for any instant decision, just-”

  “I'll have you as my submissive,” he said, sounding sure, “if you want to be.”

  “You're ready to have another submissive?”

  “It definitely feels like it's been long enough. I want to have a couple of sessions first, to see if we're compatible. I think we are.”

  “Are you in a better place now? You said, before, that it was a bad time for you?”

  “The last couple of years have been good. ...Why do you ask?”

  “I know s/m stuff can be expensive. It doesn't have to be. There are ways to use serious bondage equipment for free.”

  “At the club?”

  “Yes. Is that helpful?”

  “It might be.”

  “Assuming you like pain-play.” My submissive side reminded me too late, “I'm sorry for assuming?”

  “It's a requirement for my submissives, but we need to talk more, and I need to see your Checklist before we do anything with pain.”

  “Okay. I'll bring it next time I see you?”

  “Yes, make sure you do.”

  “I will. Sir.” Was it too early to-

  Quinn sighed slowly, though he didn't sound unhappy. “Top ten 'Do-Not's?' Just to give me an outline. You told me some of what you like already.”

  “Hard limits?” I scrambled to get them in order. “Branding, burning, electricity-”

  “That's where you start?”

  “Usually. Why? I don't like having any of that be unclear.”

  “It's very clear.” He laughed, but shook his head. “What else is on your list?”

  “I don't do anything with bodily fluids other than... you know what I mean?”

  “Yes. I don't do anything with that, either.”

  “I don't want to be treated like a child. Or a pet. No anal sex, please?” He nodded immediately, accepting all of them. “Marks are good, but permanent ones, not good. ... That's all the 'Don't's' I can think of.”

  “I don't want to do any of those things.”

  “What about you?” I asked.

  “You covered most of them. I don't want to actually hurt you, nothing more than smacking or slapping your skin, things like that. I'm not looking to humiliate you into submission, or force it from you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “What was that?” he asked gently, his eyes bright with dominance.

  I lowered my eyes and kissed his shoulder. “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Quick, aren't you?” The sound made me jump. His short smack to the outside of my thigh hadn't hurt, though my skin felt warm where his hand fell. Quinn massaged the tingling sensations away. “Sorry about that. Er, habit...”

  He couldn't help but notice the way I'd melted against him. I was already wet for him and it hadn't hurt. “Thank you again, Sir?”

  “What else do I need to know? I'm not thinking straight and I should be.”

  “Are you allergic to anything?” I asked, moving toward the end of my Checklist.

  “No, you?”

  “None.”

  “Any injuries I should know about?”

  “No. What about you?”

  “Nope. What's your safeword?” He looked wary again. “You do use them, right?”

  “Mine's common. Red. That's it.”

  “Red?”

  “Yes. Red, to stop. I've only used my safeword twice.”

  “That answered another of my questions,” he seemed pleased, “whether you use it a lot. What about to slow down?”

  “... I don't have a word for that, Sir. It takes a lot of pain to get me to the safewording point. There's not usually very much time before that happens.”

  “You almost told me yesterday. If I pushed a little harder, I think you would have...” He absently stroked the side of my neck. I thought back to all the times his hand had naturally gone for the back of my head, for my throat.

  “How do you feel about breathplay, Sir? Is that something you've done before?”

  Quinn looked wary again. “How?”

  “The normal way? I'm not sure, Sir. I've never tried it before.”

  “You know that's really dangerous, right?”

  “Doing it or having it done to-- Never mind,” I could see the answer.

  “You don't want me to pretend I'm angry, choking you that way...”

  “No please, Sir.”

  “No anger, huh? That's good.” The way he looked at me made my eyes lower again. “I will never do that to you.”

  “Breathplay things, Sir?”

  “No. That, we're going to do.

  My eyes closed when he stroked his fingers over my right nipple. He squeezed gently when it hardened, harder until I squirmed.

  “You're starved for pain, baby.”

  I laughed, nervous yet happy. No one had called me that before. “Thank you for noticing, Sir.”

  He held his hand flat against the left side of my neck, able to feel how fast my heart was pounding. “I promise I'll take care of that for you soon.”

  - Chapter 7 -

  ~ Animal Attraction ~

  When Quinn stood, he took me with him. He roughly pulled my head back to kiss me hard. White static slithered down my spine. Submission had me slowly slide down onto the floor so I could kneel in front of him. When I rested my forehead against his thigh, I felt strange and tried to understand why. The emotion wasn't fear or excitement. It was something strong and dark that welled upward from underneath, unrelenting as dominance, yet used to strengthen my submission. He looked more powerful, not nearly so calm as he had been. Had he felt it? Anything seemed possible with energy raging around us, his helping me find calm while I let control slip away.

  I knelt higher when he took hold of my wrist. Pressure had me stand. … He didn't like submissive displays of affection, either?

  “Come into the bedroom with me.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Take your shirt off and kneel like you did in the living room.”

  Kneeling in front of him felt really good. I had needed a reason, and the one he gave me was more than enough. His dominance deserved it. My eyes opened when he touched the side of my face, but I relaxed when he held me against him. He did like submissive affection. I smiled and my pain-threshold felt endless, ready to endure whatever he wanted to inflict.

  Quinn moved his thumb over my cheek and tilted my head up. “Such a sexy submissive.”

  “May I take your cock into my mouth, Sir? To thank you for letting me come so many times.”

  He smoothed his thumb over my bottom lip and smiled when I touched the tip with my tongue. “Yes.”

  Making sure my lips were dry, I lightly gripped the waistband of his pants between my teeth. I closed my eyes and gently pulled downward, hoping I wouldn't hurt him. The fabric barely moved. My teeth clicked together as I lost my grip. After the third try, I broke position and slowly stroked my hands up over his thighs.

  He caught my wrists. “What happened?”

  “I'm sorry, Sir.” I tried to be serious, but laughter escaped before I could subdue it. “I've never done this before.”

  “Kneel back. I wanted to to see if you would.” He slipped out of his boxers and stood in front of me again. “You did.”

  “I'll get better if it's something you want, Sir.”

  “Yes, you will. What a good answer.”

  “I'm sorry I need to ask again, Sir.” I brushed my lips over his inner left thigh and looked up at him. “May I take your cock into my mouth?”

  “Fuck,” he breathed in sharply. “Yes. I'm going to make you come so hard soon...”

  Wanting to please him, knowing he was a Dominant was different. He was breathing too quietly for me to hear, so I had to focus on how tense he became, whether he wanted harder or slower. I could feel the moment before his control snapped, tension gathering in his body while he decided to pull back or go over. Moaning happily, I
tightened my lips around his shaft and started the hard, fast pace his body seemed to want.

  “Lay down. On your back.” He grasped my shoulder, but he didn't let me move. Looking up at him, then back down, I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out, wanting him to use my mouth again.

  “So fucking good-! You know that, though, don't you,” he demanded fiercely.

  How? How would I know? I felt vulnerable and confused. His arm wound around my waist before I was underneath him on the bed. He grabbed my hair, close to the side of my head so I couldn't move. His sides were smooth and firm, drawing my attention to the fine, light amount of hair on his chest, the vertical, narrow line on his lower stomach. It led downward, further than I could see. He moved my hair back, exposing all of my face.

  “Look at me.”

  He watched me fight the need to look away, his gaze hard and curious. It was an instinctive compulsion, strong enough to make me feel dizzy... I moved without being able to stop. Quinn held me against his chest, absorbing my nervous laughter.

  “I'm sorry, Sir.”

  “What do you want?”

  “What do you want me to do, Sir?”

  “On your hands and knees. It'll be easier for you to come that way.” A drawer opened and closed. I heard the condom wrapper rip before he put it on.

  I lost the ability to breathe when he thrust forward, the head of his cock pushing deep inside my body. Intense pleasure coursed through my body each time his hips slammed into mine.

  “Please-” I gasped, aching to go over the edge.

  “That's what you said last night. Say it right next time.”

  “What should I-”

  Quinn pulled back and I grit my teeth. His cock slid inside of me so slowly... I let my nails dig into the covers to release some of the frustrated energy. Bracing on my forearms instead of my hands made him fuck me faster. I lowered my head, my wrists crossed above me. He found the right angle, his shaft lightly brushing over my clit as he pushed forward and back.

  “Please-! I'm so close, Sir...” I remembered what he said and understood. “May I come?”

  “That's almost how you should ask. No. I like seeing you fight it.”

  Excitement and dread clashed. There was deep, resounding pleasure when he rubbed over my g-spot. Staying still only made me more aware of how far he thrust forward, then how slowly he withdrew. It happened over and over until I felt crazed with lust, close to pleading with him again. I braced on my hands, hoping the position change would help bolster my self-control. It felt even better. I cried out and moved without thinking.