Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series)

by Jane, Kimberlee

  “I'll curse a little bit. Aim for the middle of my back. If you miss and hit higher or lower, it shouldn't matter.”

  What was happening? There wasn't enough time to think it over. I didn't want to spend any more time thinking. It was Lane. I couldn't think of anyone safer, other than-

  “You're absolutely sure this won't be weird for you?”

  “So long as it's my back. I'm not bending over anything for you...”

  Her laughter broke the looming tension. “What a friend.”

  One of my bedposts would work, but I wanted to be more stretched out, not hunched in against the post. Not the bed. My bureau, I decided. I'd be able to watch her in the mirror. I rolled my t-shirt up, hooking it around my neck so it would help protect my face. Energy didn't become awkward. I fell into instructor-mode, focusing intensely on her and the pain that was about to come.

  “Make sure he's relaxed before you start. If he's tense, warm him up, er, however you do.” I braced on the top, my arms spread wide so my back would be a larger target.

  “Do you need that?”

  I met her gaze in the mirror and smiled. “What do you have in mind, darlin'?”

  “I didn't mean-” She laughed and rolled her eyes at me. “I meant I'd touch your back or something. I don't know if you're relaxed or not.”

  “That's easy to teach. This is me tense.” I stood straighter with my shoulders firm, my back stiff.

  “Okay.”

  “This is me relaxed.” Remembering what it felt like to wait for hard pain, I let my body react for me. My shoulders loosened and I breathed out slowly. Tension in my back was still there, but the muscles were relaxed instead of taut. I let my head hang lower, mostly to protect my face from the belt. “Do you see the difference?”

  “I do, actually. Your voice went softer, too.”

  “Er, start whenever you want?” My mind stayed alert, though my body was ready for pain.

  “Now's good?”

  “Unless you've changed your mind.”

  The first slapped under my left shoulder. Her second and third a few inches down. I didn't feel them at all, I sighed inside, because I couldn't drop my focus on how she swung the belt.

  “Try to use the same pressure on my other side.”

  She did, succeeding. “That's hard as I tried against my arm.”

  “My skin is pinker where you hit, right?”

  “Only a little.”

  “A challenge for you? Aim three hits on my other side, under the marks from before. Then check them again. They'll be darker.”

  The first was off, striking below my shoulder blade. Her second and third were better, closer to the right, middle of my back. Throbbing under my skin let me know they were almost even with the first three I'd taken on my left.

  “That's cool.” She laughed. “The other ones are darker.”

  “The new ones will get that way, too. Keep that in mind if you're hitting Grant and you don't see results right away. Sometimes it takes a little while for marks to really show.”

  “Your back is a lot pinker now.”

  “Stand to the side instead of directly behind me. You'll control the belt better.”

  “What if you need me to stop?”

  That made me laugh. “If I need you to stop, I'll say 'Stop, Lane.' How long do you plan on having this go?”

  “Ten more? Would that be okay? It's different, aiming for a person. I'm a lot more careful, I promise.”

  “Check in with Grant like we're doing. Make sure he can talk to you and that he doesn't need a break.”

  She paused after the fifth hit. The pain was contained, not satisfying so much as interesting. I heard the belt hit and absorbed the surge of heat that swelled under my skin. A strange numbness took over, which made the pain even more difficult for me to feel. As the last four hits fell, I buried the sharp yearning for Quinn that threatened to take over.

  “You did really well,” I panted, stunned by what I felt.

  “Did that hurt you at all?”

  “... kind-of. Why?”

  “Grant is a lot more vocal than you are. Just naturally. I know he will be for pain.”

  I smiled at her, pulling my shirt back down. “That makes it easier for you, then. You can judge when he needs to stop, when he wants more. Does he tell you those things?”

  “Not always, but when he really wants it, yes.”

  “That's very nice of you.”

  “Does Quinn?”

  “Yeah. He does.” I checked my phone. “I'm going to message him later, probably.”

  “It's okay that I don't always do what Grant wants, right? He likes pain, but we don't have to do that every time. Do we?”

  “When you decide he deserves it.”

  “Right.”

  “You had fun just now?”

  “I really did.” She hugged me, laughing when her hands touched my back. “Your skin is hot, even through the shirt.”

  Was it? I felt ready to go mentally numb, overwhelmed by emotions I didn't understand. “Thanks for the short pain session.”

  “Short for you. I'm off to practice more, and read. Grant's coming over again tomorrow. That's cool by you?”

  “Anytime you want.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I'm not sure yet. Let me know how your session with Grant goes.”

  “You know I will.”

  … what had I let happen?! The question was a roar of horror in my head. My need for pain almost had me double over. Dangerous energy... I couldn't escape it, not after I'd made myself confront it. The situation had been safe, I reassured myself. I couldn't feel bad it happened because I hadn't actually submitted for Lane. Those two restraints were all that kept my masochistic side from taking over-- as it had, taking advantage of the presented opportunity for pain.

  I hadn't felt the satisfaction I'd expected. What I missed most was rescinding control. Having Quinn as my Dominant meant that I really could only submit for him? Until I got him out of my head, the thought had me surrender to pain for a moment. The weekend was a day away. Questions roared and pushed at me for answers I didn't have. If he was going to see me, I didn't want to be crazy-eyed and out of my head. I could find the willpower to pull myself back together, and then see what he wanted to do.

  - Chapter 19 -

  ~ Midnight ~

  'Sorry I missed your call.' I read, Friday night. 'It's been a really long time... How mad are you?'

  My stomach flipped fast and hard when I saw Quinn's text. He had beaten me to text-messaging first. The heavy worry I felt lifted a little. How could I be mad when I didn't know-- I quelled my nerves and typed.

  'I'm not, Sir. How are you?'

  'Are you free later? After 10?'

  'Yes.'

  'I'm going to be better then. I've missed my sexy submissive.'

  'I've missed you a lot, too...'

  'Do you have access to a car tonight?'

  'Yes, that's not a problem.'

  'Leave at 10. Text me when you do.'

  'Of course, Sir.”

  'Mmm... I'll be done with work by then. Thank you, Clara.'

  'Whatever pleases you, Sir.'

  It scared me, how shaky I felt, walking along the white sidewalk path to his house. If something had changed, I would know, I told myself. Energy never lied.

  The jittery swell of submission rose when I heard Quinn walk over and unlock the door. My breath caught soon as it opened. His power and dominance burned through to the core of my body. I gasped against his lips before I kissed him back. God, yes, I wrapped myself around him, struggling to get closer after my back hit the wall. I had forgotten how broad his shoulders were, how safe I felt with him. He made me feel like a succubus, drunk on energy, though I had so much for him to take-!

  “Fuck, I've missed you.”

  My hips pushed against his when he pulled my head back. He bent me backwards, roughly moving his mouth to the side of my neck. I felt the scratchiness prickle over m
y skin-- Since when was he scruffy? His eyes were bright, but not just from dominance and passion. Why were they feverishly bright? I could see every bright fleck of blue, gray, and green, though the outline around his pupils were fiercely black. There were dark shadows under his eyes, but he wasn't sick.

  “... what happened, Sir?”

  All of the other words were trapped, mired in the heaviness that confusion brought. He kissed me again, but the image stayed with me. I put my hand on the side of his neck, slightly calmed by how firmly his pulse was pounding. Exhaustion, I realized, feeling him lean against me. ...Why-?

  “You smell really, really good.” My arms wound around his back when he leaned his forehead on my shoulder. “You asked what happened? Where to even begin?”

  If someone had hurt him... I felt something incredibly dangerous wake. It was calculating, conscienceless, prepared to be sadistic. I breathed him in and let it slip away. When my eyes closed and I felt him pressed against me, my world calmed.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, baby. I want you.”

  “...Where, Sir?”

  I heard a 'thank you' through the way he sighed. He wrapped himself around me, breathing in against the base of my throat. “Find somewhere, or I'm going to fuck you right here.”

  “Wherever makes you happy, Sir.” I moaned when he bit the outside of my shoulder.

  His hand closed over my wrist and I moved the direction he did. Toward his bedroom. I felt him hesitate as we walked past the small couch, the edge of his larger couch. The low growling sound he made almost made my knees buckle. He kissed me hard, torn between throwing me down onto the bed or having me bend over it. Quinn sat down and leaned back against the headboard. My knees dug into the covers as I knelt high over his waist. I took my shirt and bra off while he hurriedly got undressed. When he laid back, I followed the hard line of his collarbone, kissing and sucking so I left light red marks his chest. I rocked my hips over his, gathering willpower to break contact, move lower... His skin was warm, smooth, I could feel how quickly his heart was beating. He put his hands over my wrists and brought them above his shoulders, having me brace over him.

  “I really did miss you,” he said quietly, rubbing his face against the side of my neck. “My sexy submissive... I'm sorry it's been so long.”

  “I missed you a lot, too, Sir.”

  “Take your skirt off.”

  It disappeared into a dark corner, ink black as the shadows. His fingers dug into my hips as he knelt behind me. I laughed when he pushed my chest down against the bed. The head of his cock pushed deep, then deeper once my body relaxed around him. I pushed my hips back into his, going still when he started to fuck me. His cock withdrew and I clenched down around his shaft, harder after his head fell back. Arousal burned when I heard him moan.

  “I want to see you.”

  I was suddenly laying on my back. His fingers moved through my hair, both of his forearms on either side of my head. My hips rose, seeking his. He thrust forward and pleasure burned through my body. It didn't fade, making me gasp and writhe underneath him. White-hot sensations crept closer, my body feeling charged with electricity as I reached the edge.

  “Please may I come? I'm so-”

  “Yes. Come, baby.”

  The head of his cock rubbed firmly over my g-spot, pushing deeper to ease the vicious ache that clawed at me. It returned, doubling in intensity when he pulled back. I felt it throb through my body, my clit and nipples tingling as he fucked me harder. My shoulders came together, his chest hard, burning with warmth under my arms. I pressed my lips against the side of his neck, holding my breath as I came.

  “Thank you, Sir!”

  Quinn moved my arms from where they pressed against his sides. He held my wrists and brought my hands up on either side of my head. I relaxed when he kept them there, moving my hips against his.

  “You belong to me,” he put his hand on my neck and tilted my head back, “You're mine.”

  I gasped, struggling to think. Waves of vulnerability swept over me and I embraced it without fighting, for the first time. “My body's yours to use as you want, Sir.”

  “I know it is. It belongs to me.”

  Pleasure coiled tighter, needing release, but it felt muted as submission and subspace forced the urge back. I opened my mouth when he brushed his thumb over my lower lip. He stroked two of his fingers over my tongue, holding my chin up so he could see my face. I sucked them deep into my mouth as I looked into his eyes.

  “So sexy...” He held my hips, his cock pushing deep inside me.

  “May I come, Sir?” I asked from habit, barely coherent as he continued to fuck me hard and fast. My head fell forward onto his shoulder and I prepared to give in.

  “Yes.”

  Quinn kept one hand flat on my chest, holding me down against the bed. He pinched my right nipple, his fingers wet from my tongue. I cried out in pleasure when he pinched my left nipple harder. My back arched when I came, the hollow restlessness finally banished completely.

  “Make me come, baby.”

  I knelt between his legs and swiftly took his cock into my mouth. Judging by how hard he thrust into my mouth, his hips moving frantically as he reached the edge, it was going to be good. He made it sound like he came hard.

  Then, I didn't feel him pulling away, yet... tension in him was buzzing again. Slowly, slowly growing in intensity. When he squeezed my shoulder, I knelt up and collapsed in the curve of his body.

  “Want to smoke?” Quinn asked, kissing the top of my head.

  “Sure.” I glanced around for the clock. It had moved from his television stand to his bedside table, next to a vintage radio-alarm clock. I remembered he had used his phone's alarm, alone, to wake up. A thin line of pain struck me to the core. Was he that starved for sleep?

  “But?”

  “You seem sort of... busy, Sir. How long are you free?”

  “All night.” He stood, brushing a hand through his hair before he rubbed his face. “I look that bad, huh?”

  You look good, just maybe a little tense. Sir.”

  “Tense is fine. Not wan? Unrecognizable?”

  “Definitely not any of those things.”

  “That's good to hear,” he replied, settling in the living room with me. “Can you stay over tonight? What about your car?”

  “Lane won't need it until Monday, Sir.” And I'd text her later to be sure, though I could swear she was having Grant stay the weekend.

  “I might have a meeting tomorrow morning, but,” he sighed and shook his head, “I'm not sure how long it'll take.”

  “Okay. I can leave whenever you do, Sir.”

  “... I wasn't going to wake you. Why not sleep?”

  “Oh. Thank you, Sir.”

  “Why not? You've stayed over before.” His eyebrow quirked when he looked over at me. “It's really been too long.”

  “Can you tell how much I've missed you?”

  “I'm going to have you show me again.”

  “Yes please, Sir.”

  He grinned at my answer. “I shouldn't be gone more than an hour or two. It's a client meeting, in-town.”

  “I hope it goes well for you.”

  “Yeah. It needs to. Smoke, get high. I'll tell you why I haven't been around.” He got up and started pacing, checking his phone for messages. “I'm sorry I've been distant lately.”

  “Because of work?” My stomach churned as I waited for his answer.

  “Yes, baby. Thank you for understanding. Do you want the long story or short story?”

  “Whichever you prefer.”

  He laughed shortly, his eyes flashing hard and dark. “Right now? I'd happily hang Tony and Roy, and then sell the company for millions. That's the short version.”

  “Ok then. Yes, Sir, a few more detail, please?”

  “They're moving the company to Manhattan.” The aggression I felt from him was subdued just as quickly. “It's what my business plan for them leads to, but not so soon. That
's a whole different thing. Tony leapt at space that's available, and I know he's going to get it this time.”

  “I'm sorry,” I said, stunned.

  “He made an offer the competition can't match. That he did it so loudly... He's going to get it. Since they are moving to New York, big money in Manhattan, I'm right back where I was before. Tony's pushing to hire a new financial manager. If I take the position, I'll definitely have to leave my other clients.”

  “There's no way for them to follow you over? Even if you work for them on the side?”

  “There isn't enough time in a day. I'm not comfortable with abandoning clients. My goal was to get them so I don't need to shackle myself to one, sole, company.”

  “How are things for you, without Garrett-Barton as a client?”

  “I'm looking at, about, a sixty percent decrease. No, fifty-something after the past few weeks. I got some new clients since last time you were here.” He rubbed his face and another wave of aggression died down. “It's gone a lot slower than I thought it would.”

  “Do you think it'll pick up? The start of new seasons, for us, leads to an increase in clients.”

  “There aren't any guarantees in this business. I'd love to rely on that.”

  “Is there any part of you that wants to take the job offer?”

  “... it's starting to look really good. It can't become an actual possibility, though. I have the time, so long as I put plans into motion. The risks are greater than I'd like them to be, but-” He sighed slowly, calm as he weighed his options. “Making a mistake now can cost a lot. It would take too long to recover. That's why I've been focusing on small businesses rather than individual clients.”

  “I'm so sorry, Sir.”

  “Without them, I'm set back... two years? Worst case, four.” He laughed suddenly. “It can't take that long. I have the endurance for two, maybe three. After that, I'll have to seriously start worrying about my finances.”

  “How long until you need to decide?”

  “Once Tony wins the property, I'll have to have my answer for them. A month. A few weeks. If I do what I'm hoping to, I don't have to consider their offer anymore. So long as it all goes to plan...”

  “That's a lot you've had going on.”