Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series)

by Jane, Kimberlee

  He shrugged, looking more alert. “Are you still okay? Doesn't your boss want to retire soon?”

  “Work's been okay. Ben wants to retire in a couple years. A few years, if I'm lucky.”

  “What happens to you, then?”

  “I'm not worried about that yet. Any number of things could happen, just this year.”

  He nodded. “You live in the moment.”

  “There are a couple of companies around that'll hire me. Definitely, with Ben's recommendation letter. I know he'll write me a really nice one.”

  “Do you ever work in Manhattan?”

  “If we need to meet someone in the city, or impress clients that live there. It's not far, only forty minutes or so from where I work. Do you have a lot of clients there?”

  “Some, yes.” Then there was a long pause. “I might actually be moving to New York. Manhattan.”

  “... why?” The jolt I felt almost had me gasp aloud, but Manhattan wasn't Rochester. “I'm sorry. I mean, um... why?”

  He laughed when I rested my forehead against his shoulder. “To look for new corporations and clients, that's where I'll have to be. It'll help me build my client list more quickly. Time, is really the deciding factor.”

  “How do you do that?”

  “Research, mostly. Then it's just a lot of talking to people. Each new client is worth travel time and however many hours they're going to want out of my day. I'll sign them if their time is worth my time. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes,” I said, taking refuge in business-mode. “That's what we do, sort-of.”

  “In a normal week, three days are already accounted for, just with the phones. That leaves me four to manage clients, network, and sign more of them. Three,” Quinn relented. “I'll need to catch up on sleep Sunday.”

  “Ouch.” I could feel how deeply it frustrated him, being set back so far.

  “I didn't mean-- I'm sorry. I'm not thinking all that clearly.”

  “You're sorry? What, Sir?”

  “You said ouch, so-- Why-?”

  “I'm sorry you don't feel more secure.” His eyes went bright with dominance and I watched Sasha prowl around instead.”

  “I'm okay.” I moved closer when he put his arm around my shoulder. “Thank you, Clara.”

  I tried to let the quiet settle, but there was one question I couldn't ignore. It started as a whisper, with the slightest rush of worry. He had said years? When it grew to a roar, I hugged him harder, terrified of what he might say.

  “It's a terrible thing to ask, especially after all you've told me. I'm sorry, Sir, but... Do you still want to be my Dominant?”

  “Yes. I'm not sure how busy I'm going to be,” he warned gently. “Or where I'm going to be if I move. I won't be moving right away. I'm sure about that much.”

  “If you need to focus on work, I understand, but... um, let me know what Roy and Tony decide to do. And you?”

  “I'll keep you updated.”

  “Thank you, Sir.” The relief was overwhelming. I glanced up at him and knew it would happen anyway. “I'm sorry again.”

  “Why?”

  I straddled his waist and breathed him in. My nails dug into the couch instead of his shoulders. Quinn held me slumped against him, relaxing when he realized all I wanted was to be on top of him instead of next to him.

  “Your hair's always so soft,” he said, his hand moving to the back of my head. “Never cut your hair, baby.”

  “Yes, Sir.” He pulled my head back and kissed me before I could say anything else. By the time he leaned back, my body burned with warm, pulsing heat.

  “Yes, I still want to be your Dominant. With all I've got going on, you want to stay my submissive?”

  “Yes, Sir. So long as you're sure.”

  “I'm very sure.”

  “I am your submissive, and I really don't want that to change, but, um... what does that mean? Overall.”

  “It means you'll-” He paused, looking very Dominant and very warm at the same time. “What does that mean, for you?”

  “It means that I'll only submit for you, take pain from you.”

  “Those aren't already rules?” he asked gently.

  “I want to please you as a submissive, whenever you want me to. And when you can't, I... understand why.” I forced myself to finish. If that's what he needed, how could I offer less? It would be easier, I told myself, without the worry that he'd let me go.

  “Is that all?”

  “Until I learn what else you want, Sir. What else do you want?”

  “That's more than I-- You really just---” He laughed quietly. “You know, five seconds ago I was ready to pass out for the night.”

  “Do you want to, Sir?”

  “Not yet.”

  Submission took over. He watched me as I knelt in front of him. I kissed the side of his chest, following the bare skin that was exposed as he moved his boxers out of the way. Time ceased to matter until I felt the restless edge to his energy again. I smoothly took his cock into my mouth and poured all of my submission into making him come.

  “You've never made me come like that before.”

  “I've missed doing that for you.” I laughed, feeling warm with submission, satisfied because he really was. “I'm happy it pleased you, Sir?”

  “You have no idea...” He pulled me up and laid me back on the couch. “You might, actually. You're going to be really happy in a minute, too.”

  “Thank you, Sir!” I stroked my hands over his shoulders and moaned when he roughly moved my legs apart.

  His lips brushed against my inner thigh. “After that? Come when you can, Clara.”

  * * *

  “I owe you some edge-play,” Quinn had said before I left.

  “As it pleases you, Sir,” I hugged him and ignored the tearing feeling that echoed inside of me. Submission receded and I saved the energy, knowing it would burn when he saw me again.

  “Thank you.” He kissed me long and hard, groaning quietly before he leaned back. “I'll see you soon. Definitely soon.”

  Two weeks passed, but subfrenzy stayed securely in check. Time had his energy fade until only my own protected me. Power clung to him, channeled however he wanted to use it, but I hated that he was being challenged in so many ways. That he had me over when he so desperately needed sleep... I didn't know what the emotion I felt was. Nor had I known that pain could echo so strongly inside me for someone. It made me want to take it, physically, which was complicated to navigate.

  When I focused on what I wanted, the ache in my body raged, demanding smooth vibration and a long s/m video of hard pain-play. After four minutes of hearing a paddle hit a gorgeous, heavily tattooed, goth submissive, I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes. I stared at the toy, knowing how fast I'd come... and how much I didn't want to yet. My hips moved restlessly as I fast-forwarded to where the Top used a cat o'nine tails. I remembered Quinn using the floggers, how much heat they brought to my skin, and how sharp the pain had been-! What I liked more was feeling his strength, what he held back and how much he used. My masochistic side burned whenever I felt his control slip. The toy rolled further away from me and I reached for it. I was beyond using videos. Memories would suffice.

  I nearly knocked my laptop onto the floor when I heard his ring tone

  “Hello, Sir-”

  “Hi, my sexy submissive. I'm glad you're still awake.”

  While I'd saved the laptop, my toy rolled onto the floor. It vibrated on high, very loudly. I struggled to turn it off, rolling over the side of my bed because I'd lost my grip on the covers.

  “Uh, hi! How have you been, Sir?”

  “Better. You okay, baby?”

  “Yeah? Sorry. I mean, yes, Sir.” Kneeling next to my bed, I buried it safely under my pillow and collapsed back onto the floor. “The same for work. Thank you, Sir.”

  His groan made desire coil tight in my lower body. “I haven't forgotten that I owe you some pain.”

  “You don't owe me-”
/>
  “You're such a good submissive,” he interrupted gently. “You're ready to have me be more dominant. You do still want edge-play?”

  “More dominant?” I felt my pulse race. “Yes please, Sir?”

  “What do you like about edge-play?”

  “I like being afraid without actually being afraid... I'm not sure how to explain.”

  “How you felt when I used the floggers on you at Rack's, and when I used that knife?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “What were you doing when you first picked up? What was that weird sound I heard?”

  “... ...What?”

  Quinn chuckled dominantly. “You heard me.”

  “I was... I'm sorry. I was using one of my toys with a video.”

  “Did you come?”

  “No, I didn't-”

  “Good. Don't. I'll see you in half an hour.”

  I threw my jacket over one of his living room chairs. Quinn unbuttoned my business-type shirt, the sleeves left unfastened. He blinked twice, understanding why I was wearing a short pinstriped skirt. It matched the lingerie-like, zippered corset.

  Leaning against him, my legs tangled between his, I went still when he grabbed my chin. My eyes met his for the briefest of seconds. Shock curled around me the smack thudded lightly over the right side of my face. The second hit registered, though surprise numbed me to the prickling pain. His hands grasped my hair so he could kiss me hard, then he kissed my cheek where he'd hit me. Before my nerves settled back into submission, he tested the limits and smacked me again. I exhaled sharply, barely holding the growl of surprise back. He pulled me against him. I brought my head around, trying to see him through blurred vision. My face was tingling where his fingers had hit hardest. I couldn't tell if it actually hurt or not.

  “Are you glaring at me?” He jerked my head up, having me stand straight.

  “No, Sir!” I gasped, still trying to piece together what had happened. 'No' should have been, 'Yes?' I couldn't remember what had happened when I lost those few seconds of reality.

  “Do you mean that?”

  “... I'm sorry, Sir?”

  He laughed shortly, the sound dark with the promise of punishment.

  My eyes widened when I saw the back of his hand. Quinn wouldn't. I brought my arms behind my back in a strict submissive pose, my nails digging into my forearms. He didn't backhand me. Or hit me at all. Adrenaline burned brighter, making me shake as I let the tension slide away. My chin lowered, no longer braced for the pain that hadn't come.

  “That was... That was really good,” he said, staring at me.

  “Thank you, Sir,” I replied, my lips feeling numb.

  He kissed both sides of my face. I let go of my wrists when he gently pulled my arms apart. “So you wouldn't hit me?”

  “So you wouldn't worry I might.”

  “Why didn't you tell me to stop? That was a moment you should have used your safeword.”

  “I didn't think you would really do it. I'm sorry, Sir.”

  “You don't need to apologize for that.”

  “Was that why you did? Because you want to see if I can safeword?”

  “Yes.”

  “With a new Dominant, I would have- No. I wouldn't have let them.” Thinking about how different my reaction would be made me laugh. “I asked you to. It's your decision how, Sir.”

  Shock faded and left me with the rush edge-play usually brought. Fear, check. Surprise, check. Being tested and passing, check? I remembered the way he yanked my head to the side, his fingers curling cruelly in my hair. That was the part I'd liked most.

  “You don't want me to hit you harder than that, do you?” he asked, looking at me intently. “Now you look excited about it.”

  “I'd really, really prefer you don't take it so far... I'm not sure I can accept that kind of pain, Sir.”

  “That's what a safeword’s for.”

  “I'll remember next time, Sir.”

  “You need pain, baby. You submitted to that far too easily.”

  I flinched and stared at the wall behind him, but Quinn saw the partially guilty glint in my eyes, the fear that meant I didn't have an answer. He knew, and saw, a lot.

  “Don't you?” he asked.

  “Thank you for the pain you've had me take, Sir,” I answered finally, fighting speechlessness.

  “That's not what I asked.”

  My arms came forward, slamming against the wall as he swung me around. His arm closed over my neck and my head fell back on his shoulder. Edge-play usually invoked strong emotions. That was something I always forgot.

  “Yes,” I said, though it took every bit of willpower to admit it. “Yes, I need pain from you, Sir. Please?”

  “I didn't think you'd say it.” He nipped the side of my neck. “That saves you a little. Not much, but a little... Do you still want more?”

  “Yes, thank you, Sir!”

  The flat of his hand fell rapidly over the right side of my ass. Short, hard smacks for my left side. I had been tense when he started, and I fought to have my body relax before it overwhelmed me. When the pain made me gasp, I focused all of my attention on how my hands felt pressing against the wall. It continued until my skin felt hot, tingling wherever he smacked.

  He led me over to his wide-backed, single sofa chair. “Climb up here. Straddle the back.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Lay down on your stomach and relax. Can you balance like that?”

  “Easily, Sir. Thank you.”

  The cushions were soft underneath my chest and stomach, supporting me so I didn't have to balance. I folded my arms under my head, keeping my hands flat so he could see them.

  “This pain you take for me.”

  Subspace pulled me under when I heard the sounds of his belt being undone. He struck the lower, front side of the chair a few times. The end flew through the air, striking with enough impact to scare me. I stayed still for the first hit that struck the outside of my left thigh. It hurt more than I expected, yet not enough for me to break position. The second was brought straight down, swung around to hit both sides of my ass. I felt my shoulders pull together, my body wanting to protect itself. The belt snapped over my right outer thigh. My back arched as I forced myself back into position. I drifted on pain until I couldn't anymore.

  “Sir, please!” I pleaded, losing count after ten.

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  Determination took me back under. “I'm sorry, Sir.”

  “If you want me to stop, you know what to say.”

  Quinn moved back a few steps. The belt's end whistled forward. I cried out as it struck both sides of my ass. When I got to one elbow, he roughly pulled my arm back down. I went silent, remembering what he said about safewording. The hits fell harder, pain insisting I say it. When I lowered my head, pressing my lips against the side of my arm, he pulled my head back.

  “Well?”

  “Sir, please will you...” I couldn't ask for more. Something shivered through me, my confidence faltering because of the dangerous way his eyes darkened.

  “Yes?”

  I shook my head again. All of the throbbing points of pain came together under my skin. It felt like I was surrounded by a bubble of warmth, nothing in my head save for white static.

  “It ends when I want it to end,” he decided for me.

  Subspace. I felt it and threw myself into the darkness. Warm, comforting, the place where sanity was restored. Mental shields grew stronger because they weren't being used. Walls were repaired, shutting out the worst of the pain. I could feel my body tensing and relaxing, tensing again before I went still. I'd stay in position because he wanted me to. It was cathartic, drifting on the heavy pain that made everything in my head calm.

  Quinn threw the belt aside to use his hand. I laughed in pleasure from the aggression, again when he hit harder than his belt. Warmth pooled in my lower body. I felt my clit throbbing for attention, my nipples just as sensitive. The pleasure was forgotten when
he pinched the outside of my thighs. I felt him pinch my right nipple, then above my left knee, the outside of my hip, and high on my right inner thigh.

  “You want to thank me?”

  He looked surprised to see me suddenly kneeling in front of him. “Yes, please, Sir!”

  I put my hands on his hips, leaving my arms flat against his thighs. He groaned when I rubbed my cheek against his cock. Quinn had helped keep me from breaking. I knew how easy it would be for him to make me really cry out in pain.

  “What-?” I gasped. His arm wrapped around my back. He used the momentum to pick me up so I could straddle his waist.

  “If you start, I'll fuck you and I don't want to yet. In the bedroom,” he decided. “You're going to tell me what you were doing when I called you...”

  - Chapter 20 -

  ~ I Own You ~

  When his phone rang early Saturday morning, Quinn disappeared into his office. I started cleaning. Folding the clothes that were strewn around his bedroom was easy enough. As was making his bed and arranging the restraints around the headboard and footboard. Hanging one of his belts in the closet made me happy. I remembered a few from the rack that had been wound around my wrists. The living room only took a few minutes, and there was nothing to do in the kitchen. I heard typing and the muffled sound of his voice, the sound of a phone hitting the desk after a call. My Saturdays were so calm... His cell beeped with messages, his e-mail pinging when an important message came through. Both of his phones rang all throughout the day. Quinn did everything himself, remembering clients, phone numbers, meeting times. His phone doubled as his personal assistant.

  I stepped out onto the balcony for a cigarette when his land-line phone rang after a couple hours of quiet. Evening had almost fallen. The cold didn't reach me. I was high enough to be in deep introspection mode. There was a time when I could barely stand waiting a week for pain. I wondered if he felt the equivalent of subfrenzy. Domfrenzy. Did sexual aggression snap and claw at him, or was he really just better at controlling it than I was?

  “Goddamnit!” I heard him yell from his office.

  My cigarette landed somewhere in the parking lot. I ran inside and almost collided into him. He kissed me hard, making sure I stood against the couch before he let me go.