Outlaw

by Amanda Lance

  “Yeah,” she said. “Just tired, I guess. Anyway, you didn’t answer my question.”

  “What?” I asked, looking back up, “the sailor stuff?”

  Her eyes went rolling. “Yes, I imagine there’s plenty of that to do around here.”

  “Yeah, there is a lot to do. But since you’ve made it real clear you ain’t gonna be still for real long and ’cause all kinds of mischief, I figure I should just keep an eye on you.”

  “Excuse me, but I have been very well behaved.” I couldn’t see her ’cause of how I was working, but I could easily imagine her rolling her eyes again, and right away I wanted to draw it into the sketch.

  “You weren’t supposed to, but you managed to make your way down to the engine room.”

  I heard her scrambling around on the bed. “Hey, Charlie, what does Polo make down there, anyway?”

  Looking down at my paper, I smiled. “Nothin but trouble.”

  Before finalizing her right cheek, I gazed up at her again. I wanted to tell her everything and knew I’d end up doing it eventually if she wanted me to, I just didn’t know if it’d be any good for her. We’d only even had the knockers ’cause we met a redhead kid with half a brain, too much time on his hands, and the want to get rid of an arson collar.

  Coming together with the knockers had been an accident but a thing of genius—just like Addie.

  “He makes all the explosives that we use to bust into latched storage spaces, trucks, whatever. Most of the time we only gotta put one knocker on the main door.”

  She piped up happily. “Right. That’s why the ‘knock, knock’?”

  I smiled. “Funny…that guy can barely read, but he makes those things go boom without any smoke or noise.”

  “You mean the bombs.”

  I put down the sketchbook and clenched up. Was she thinking I was a terrorist or something? “They ain’t bombs.”

  “You use them for blowing things up?”

  “Nah, not really.”

  “Polo said—”

  “You really gonna go listenin’ to Polo?” I bit my teeth so hard together they made my head vibrate. When it didn’t stop right away, I started twirling the pencil so I had something else to focus on.

  “Well, what are they for, then?”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  When I didn’t answer right away she asked me again, and I knew I wouldn’t get outta answering even if I wanted to.

  “Distractin’ people sometimes, playing pranks-”

  From the corner of my eye I saw her pretending to do something on the computer. She was practically dying to ask it.

  “Do you—”

  “No,” I said, cutting her off. “I would if it came down to it, but none of us ain’t done nothing like that yet. Polo basically makes smoke bombs down there. It’s real good if we can’t break into a truck or a warehouse and we need to buy some time. Other kinds we set off in the storage houses after we’re done with ’em, burns away evidence we were there.”

  Addie huffed out a sigh of relief. It made me realize that she had been hoping for me to say that from the beginning. I couldn’t give her half of it though, let her keep going without telling her the entire truth.

  “We’re just thieves, Addie.” I wanted to smile at her smile but couldn’t. “Nobody hurts nobody unless we gotta.”

  She started biting her nails, “And yet you’ve killed people before?”

  “I told you I wasn’t a nice guy. I meant that, Addie. I killed people before that I didn’t have to.”

  I gave her a few minutes to deal with that. Not offended that she had now gone to biting the inside of her cheek. I regretted some of the things I had done and I was willing to admit that. But she had to know that people killing other people was a part of life, right? Hell, I was sure her old man and brother had ended other people. If she could love them, why not me?

  She closed up the computer and targeted one of my sketchbooks. If I hadn’t known no better, I woulda said she liked my drawings better than me. And I knew it shoulda made me glad to know that she liked something of me, but it didn’t. Instead it just made me really sad.

  “Do you hate me now?”

  She flipped the book ’til the cover closed and got up slowly to sit on the floor beside me. If she was gonna hurt me, at least she was gonna be nice about that, too.

  “How could I hate you?” Addie’s head came to lean against my shoulder like outside and I wished I had a different view so I could sketch us together. “This has been (and statistically speaking probably will be) the greatest adventure of my life.”

  All my experience told me she was lying, but my instincts told me different. Could it even be possible that she liked me?

  “Remind me to thank whichever one of the guys it was who wanted coffee.”

  I laughed off my bad feelings. “You’re supposed to be 17, right?”

  “Yes.” She laughed. “Why?”

  “Ya don’t seem like it.”

  Again I saw the way her face bent when she bit the inside of her cheek. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

  Bad. I mean, how could it be good? She was definitely mature for her age, but guys in the joint pulled that line all the time. I always thought it was a load of crap, but lookin’ at Addie… “Addie, you’re just a kid.”

  She shrugged. “I might be young, but at least I can control my temper. You should be old enough to know better.”

  “How old do you think I am?”

  Addie looked up at me and studied my face like she had my sketches. I was sure my age hadn’t been in the articles she read, and I still wanted to know what she thought. Her opinion was everything now, and somehow her seeing me as some old guy was an awful idea.

  “I’m not sure. Enlighten me.”

  I hesitated before answering, afraid of how she’d react and I’d feel like the fat kid at a dance.

  “29,” I mumbled.

  “Hmm.”

  Hmm? Was that a good ‘hmm’? or a bad ‘hmm’? Was she grossed out or what? Without knowing, I had to change the subject, if I didn’t I thought I might start screaming. “You probably gotta set an age maximum for your beaus. I bet you start turning them away around 25 just to narrow ’em down.”

  She tagged me in the arm with her little fist. “Not that’s it’s any of your business, but I’m not that sort of girl that has guys.” Blushing like a cherry blossom, she turned away from me. “I’ve never had any guys.”

  “That I ain’t believing.” I found an excuse too and made myself focus on my sketch. The last thing I needed running through my mind was just how innocent she was. “Not possible…”

  I smiled at her again and tested the range of reds that flooded her face. For the first time it didn’t seem like such a bad color and I was glad that she was wasn’t hiding away from me. The feels fell out of me though when I realized what that meant. Not only was she comfortable with me, but maybe she like me, too. She shouldn’t have been letting me flirt with her. More than that, if I was any kind of decent man, or a man at all, I wouldn’t have let her.

  I was weak and I knew it.

  The pencil snapped in my hand before I realized how hard I was gripping it. Addie flinched right away, but between throwing it, I hardly noticed it at all.

  “I’m not—I—” The words wouldn’t come and I didn’t try to force ’em. How are you supposed to give away something you want? Lie about something you need? Addie reached out to touch me and I pulled away.

  “I’m a bad person, Addie. You shouldn’t be so good to me.”

  Instead of saying anything, she stared at the wall.

  Maybe, at last, it was starting to sink in.

  ***

  “Well, I don’t care, I’m going.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  Laughing, she waved at me. “Bye.”

  “Get. Back. Here.” I wished I coulda found it as funny as she did.

  Addie kept on laughing and rushed u
nder my arms, so me blocking the open door didn’t do no good. I tried grabbing for her, but only got thin air instead. She ran faster and I trailed her.

  If she hadn’t been laughing, it coulda been a replay of a couple of days before, but she was laughin’ and it took me a minute to realize that I was, too.

  “This ain’t a good idea!” I stayed a few steps behind her on purpose, never grabbing her, though it woulda been easy to. She musta known that too, but she still played the game with me and I was grateful.

  “Lighten up, Charlie, you’ll live longer!”

  That was easier to say than do. Addie had been on me for over an hour ’bout making our faces seen at the card game and it had gotten on my nerves enough so that I gave in. Really, it was my fault ’cause I had said something ’bout it at all. Still, I wasn’t too keen ’bout possibly leading a lamb to the wolves’ den.

  “I won’t even bother you guys,” she kept saying. “I’ll be a silent cheerleader, I swear.”

  “It ain’t you I’m worried about.”

  Jumping up and down, Addie tugged on the sleeve of my shirt almost hard enough to pull a seam. “It’ll be fun, come on!”

  I knew who was responsible for that behavior. “No more spending time with Polo.”

  She was easy to pick up once I snaked my arm around her. Different from the first time though, I felt good on the inside, and glad that I could make her laugh.

  “Gotcha,” I whispered in her ear. “You can run all you want,” I laughed. “I like chasing ya.”

  She laughed and whined the whole time, but I wasn’t giving her up so easy. I carried her all the way to the Rec Room, only putting her down when I got embarrassed by all the bad smells coming out from under the door. I’m so embarrassed that I even pretended that the door was jammed when I went to open it, hoping that the extra second would give her a second to change her mind and we could just go back.

  Off the bat, Big Mouth is giving both of us nasty looks and I could feel the judgment coming off of the side glances from Yuri. Ben was dealing at his usual spot and smoking one of those thin cigars of his but at least he was cleaned up. The rest of the fellas were still wearing coveralls battered up with oil and dirt. Normally, I woulda been making the room smell right alongside ’em, and I couldn’t have been gladder that I wasn’t.

  “We were beginning to wonder when you kids would show up.” Ben looked back and forth between me and Addie, but what he was really asking was: “Charlie Boy, what in the hell are you doing?” I shook my head, and Addie stared at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

  “Hey, hey, hey! You guys are just in time, we were about to start a new game!” Polo hit the table with each new word, makin’ Reid and Yuri groan at the same time.

  “Knock that crap off, Polo!” Yuri smacked him before Reid could—a nicer thing if I ever saw one. When I went for a couple of folding chairs, I saw Addie reach down to help him pick up the chips that had fallen on the floor. She didn’t seem to mind how dusty and dark everything was. When Addie sat in the chair I gave her, she didn’t even give a second glance to the stains on the poker table or how old the TV was.

  Nobody said nothing, and Yuri was real eager to get back to shuffling the cards. Just like Polo, Addie had a look of real interest in her eyes, like when I was showing her how to pick a lock, and in my head I started thinking up different things I could show her. I smiled to myself. I wondered if she would be any good jimmying open a car door. Or hotwiring one? I smiled even wider. I woulda bet my life she woulda been great with pick-pocketing.

  I was so busy daydreaming that I didn’t see Yuri dealing her in until Addie spoke up about it.

  “Oh, um—I can’t—I’m not playing.” She was nervous when she said it, but if anybody said anything I was ready to stomp on their heads.

  “Why not, Addie?” Polo’s worry was right on cue. I saw Reid snicker.

  “I just, uh—I don’t know how.”

  It was hard to believe that she didn’t know how to do something, but on that same hand I was glad that I mighta had something else to teach her. Ben looked at me though like he was curious or something and a bad feeling started to swell.

  “That’s just fine. It’s even better, actually. Usually everyone comes in with their own falsified rules and regulations, now you’ll learn how to play properly.” He nodded to Yuri and I knew she was doomed.

  “First things first,” I leaned in close and whispered to her. If nothing else, I was gonna give her a fighting chance. “You gotta know the hands. A flush beats a straight every time. A royal flush is a straight flush with an ace as the highest of the five cards, like…” I grabbed up the rest of the cards and picked out the right ones to show her an example. Reid cursed both of us out but Ben looked at him stern ’nough so that he didn’t do it again.

  “A straight flush is all the same numbers in the same suit. If two happen in the same hand, the highest card wins it. Four of a kind is the third best hand, which is just the same number from every suit. The highest four is four aces, then four kings right on down to four twos.”

  “A full-house is three of a kind and two of a kind!” Polo added “If there’s two during a game, then the biggest of the three wins it!”

  Of course Ben had to get his end in. “A flush is just five cards of the same suit. In the event that two flushes occur during one hand, the highest card wins.”

  “What if those cards are the same?”

  I smiled in my cards. This was gonna be fun.

  The game started off fast and easy—’side from a little arguing over some 5 point chips between me and Mouth. And by the time the first ante went in and around, I was feeling pretty damn good.

  “I call!” Polo shouted. “I feel like my luck is turning around now, you guys!”

  Under the table I kicked Addie’s foot. “She’s lucky.”

  “Bad luck, maybe,” Reid mumbled.

  She smile at me and ignored him, throwing in a black chip. “I raise.”

  That move alone had me wondering if this wasn’t her first game. But when I tried to take a peek at her cards, she brought ’em closer to her and smiled real coy-like.

  “Are you sure you wanna do that?”

  “Probably not,” she whispered back.

  “Okay.” I threw in another black chip.

  Like he does when he gets into it, Ben got quiet and his eyes small. Not bothering to take out his glasses when he needed them the most was one of his biggest tells, but none of us would ever say it.

  “You all have so much to learn.” He threw in a couple extra chips and sat up straight.

  Yuri nabbed Reid in the ribs with his elbows, and rolled his eyes at me.

  Yuri asked if anyone wanted to switch out and I took advantage to rub shoulders with Addie. When I did, she shivered. “After the first bet, everybody takes a draw. You can switch out two cards or keep ’em. But don’t let nobody see.”

  Slowly, she nodded and equally slow, slid a card across the table and the guys did the same. I kept my cards though, not wanting her to feel bad if she lost real hard. Already the chips were piling high in the middle of the table and I silently hoped the guys wouldn’t make a big deal outta it.

  Polo began pounding his feet against the steel legs of the table. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Now it’s getting interesting!”

  “Damn,” Yuri said, “I fold.”

  Polo’s arms went flying in the air like he was at a concert. “Whoo!”

  Ben put out the remainder of his cigar. “Take it easy, Polo.”

  Addie’s lips flipped up into a smile, so whether or not she was feeling intimidated, it was hard to tell. Her eyes watched all of us, maybe trying to determine tells or just watching our expressions. I’ll admit that I was watching her more than my own cards, and maybe that would work out for me.

  I glanced down at my cards. “I fold.”

  All the guys’ tells were showing in a bad way. Reid was holding his cards with both hands, Ben kept strai
ghtening up in his chair, and the veins in Yuri’s neck were showing. I leaned back in my seat and tried to relax. There were a dozen different things Addie could do for a tell. She coulda twirled that hair of hers, or bit the inside of her cheek some more but it seemed like she was making a serious effort not to do any of it.

  Ben anteed up again and kept his eyes on the back of Reid’s cards ’cause he knew how he played, and right away Polo folded.

  “Ah geez! I guess I fold!

  “What are you gonna do?” I whispered in her ear.

  She raised her eyebrows. “Raise.”

  “Well, Goddamn, what do you know? Polo and Yuri stared, laughing again at the same time while Ben put in his bet. My stomach clenched, but I couldn’t think of any way to keep her safe in this situation.

  Reid swore a bunch and threw down his cards. “I hate you bastards.” Then Polo, who was barely in his chair as it was, got kicked out of it and pushed to the ground.

  I threw Reid my pack of smokes, thinkin’ that having one mighta sobered him up a bit. In the same second, I stood up to help Polo so that Addie wouldn’t have to. “That’s the sportsmanship we all know and appreciate!”

  My comment didn’t make her laugh like I’d hoped though, ’cause instead she and Ben were staring each other down: the last two hombres in the shoot-out.

  She gripped her cards just a little tighter, a sign to me that maybe she was a little bit nervous. I knew saying something though would just make it worse, so I kept my mouth shut. I knew a minute had gone by but it seemed like way longer. Sensing what was going on, the guys got quiet, their eyes dartin’ back and forth between the two of them.

  “I call.” Her voice didn’t even crack when she said it, but Ben smiled like a Cheshire cat and planted a perfect straight on the table. One by one she put her cards on the table just like a professional in Vegas and just like a pro; she had five hearts to win.

  Polo started in with that seal clap, making her jump for the first time in a while. And unable to help myself, I joined in on the fun too, throwing out my chair and shouting with the best of ’em.

  Yuri gave Ben a slap on the back. “I can’t believe she beat you, boss.”