Outlaw

by Amanda Lance

  “Yeah,” Wallace chuckled. “I’m real cool, Hillbilly. Hand me that cap over there.”

  I looked over at the bed. He was pointing at the red ball cap I’d given Addie when I’d first brought her onboard. It made me madder to think about giving it to him, having him touch something that she had touched. What was maybe worse though, was that I didn’t have nothing to make me feel better. Addie wasn’t there. And if I gave in to The Red, I’d never see her again.

  Slowly, I reached for the ball cap and handed it to him.

  “Now,” he said, puttin’ it on, “you’re gonna open that door and we’re gonna walk nice and slow.”

  “Where we going?”

  “You’ll know when we get there, but you damn well better not talk to nobody or I’ll kill the both of you.”

  Wallace pulled the ball cap low, and stole one of my fleece shirts when I walked out in front of him. Damn what he said, had there been anybody in the hall I woulda grabbed the first guy I saw but I could feel the speed slowing and knew we probably coming to a stop, meaning most of the guys were either on deck or in the engine room.

  He was pretty careful though, putting the edge of the blade in my back and staying close behind. When he wanted me to turn, he dug it a little deeper into me, pointing in that direction. It was all I could do not to ask ’bout Addie, but my mouth ran dry like the mid-west during drought season. I kept telling myself if he had a blade at my back he couldn’t have one at hers, but with each slow step I took, my head went haywire with possibility. I knew it’d be easier for him in the cargo container ’cause he was military, but what if it was easier ’cause he was also working with somebody? Could that somebody have been with her now?

  And how could I have slept through her leaving me?

  Wallace mighta thought he was smarter than me, but I knew enough to know that he wasn’t gonna let me and Ben leave the ship alive—hurting Addie was just icing on the cake for him. For all I knew, Addie might have already been dead. I gripped my broken hand against myself. If I was gonna make a move, I was gonna have to do it before we got to Hold 6—where I just then realized he was leading me.

  “Hey, Charlie, hey!”

  I’d never been more happy to see Polo in my whole miserable life.

  “Hey there, Polo. Great dinner tonight, man.”

  He did a double-take, but kept walking, his arms loaded up with boxes. “Uh, thanks?”

  As soon as he was outta earshot, I felt the knife dig deep enough into my back to cut me.

  “What the hell did you go and do that for?”

  I shrugged, tried to seem casual. “If I didn’t talk to him, he’d just follow me around ’til I did.”

  “I don’t trust you worth a damn, Hillbilly. Get your ass in there!”

  He tried to shove me inside, but I woulda went in anyways. Before he even bolted the door shut, I was calling out for her. It was dark out again, and the rain had started back up. I hoped, I prayed, that maybe I just hadn’t heard her over the wind.

  “Addie!”

  Wallace laughed and jingled chains close by my ears. When I shoved ’em from me, he jumped in the shadows and laughed even harder at the silence that answered me back.

  “Relax, loverboy, she isn’t far!”

  As I made a move for the platform, he put the blade into my back, twisting the blade of it ’til I winced out loud.

  “You shoulda heard the way she cried when I locked her up in the confessional,” he hissed in my ear. “Just like a bitch will do…”

  The words went ’round and ’round in my head and as clear as day I could see fingers and toes getting taken off by dull pliers, the bodies of guys who’d died from lack a water, eyes taken out by a melon baller…

  “Bastard! I’ll kill you!”

  I reached my hands for his neck but he dug the blade deeper and laughed ’til I stopped.

  “Addie…”

  He stopped laughing for a second then, and tilted his head to the side like he was waiting for her to say something, too. When nothing happened, he kicked the side of the wall like he was really disappointed his plan hadn’t gone off the way he’d wanted it to.

  “Damn! I was hoping to drag that out!” Somewhere in between the echo of the wind and the sound of my heart falling outta me, I heard him laughing, laughing I guess ’cause he thought it was funny he had killed the greatest girl the world. Laughin’ ’cause though it hadn’t gone the way he wanted it too, he had just ended her sooner than he was gonna anyways.

  He was ahead of schedule.

  I wasn’t real aware of pulling the blade outta my skin, or throwing it. All my brain could muster up was that I wanted to hurt him. Make him suffer with my bare hands for anything he had done to Addie. If I kicked him, he punched me back. During the first few blows we matched almost punch for punch, and though it shoulda hurt, only once did The Red let me feel the wind get knocked out me. I musta fallen at my knees then, ’cause the toe of his boot connected with my chin and my head snapped back, making me see Addie where there probably shoulda just been dark.

  I tried getting’ back up as quickly as I could but Wallace was searching on the floor for the blade, trying to kick me in the meanwhile. But then he turned ’round, distracted by something I couldn’t see.

  My heart grew back like a weed when I saw what it was.

  I saw the fire extinguisher on the ground by her feet and figured out what she’d done for me by the way he was holding the back of his head. By his eyes alone I could see that unlike me, he wasn’t excited to see her alive. But my body reacted before my brain could, and I charged him just like this bull I’d seen one time.

  The pain was ferocious and mean. Unlike most injuries I’d ever had, I felt it right away too—no nerve damage, just instant pressure like my gut was a balloon that had just been popped. The dizzy came soon after, making my fists harder to land on him as we jostled together on the floor.

  In the background I heard her callin’ out: begging for help, screaming something about me being in trouble.

  My arms weren’t working so good after a few seconds though, every punch gettin’ hard and taking more energy outta me. Addie’s screams felt closer but seemed to get further away at the same time. With what I thought mighta been the last of me, I gave him one good shove, and kicked him in the family jewels. Granted, a dirty trick, but I didn’t care ’bout fairness anymore. He swore loud, and I scrambled to my side. And though there was a second of light that seemed to come from outta nowhere, my vision got real funny then, black and dark purple dots clouding up my sight.

  “Hey, Charlie, hey!

  Wallace swore while Reid kicked him in the ribs. That was the last I ever heard of him.

  “Goddamn, let the man breathe…”

  I think it was Yuri who moved Polo outta my face—the two of ’em who helped me up. If you asked me today though, I couldn’t be sure. Between the purple spots, rain, and the light I realized was coming from the hallway, I couldn’t have been too sure of anything.

  “Addie?” It was my voice but not my voice.

  “You’re the one with a hole in your belly, jackass. She’s fine.”

  I shook them off me and tried to head for the door, not gettin’ real far before I almost fell on my ass.

  “That doesn’t look very good, Charlie-Boy.”

  Ben? When did he get there? And where was Reid? Or that piece of crap Wallace, for that matter?

  “Addie—” I coughed, sputtering like a car trying to start back up after stalling.

  “In the hallway, and just as fine as Yuri told you. I’m glad I told the plane to be fueled and ready for us.”

  “You’re gonna have to call Jimmy too, Boss.” Polo laughed and went to poke me.

  Ben said something else but I was busy trying to peek my head out the door without being obvious. Spots were still making it hard to see, but I could tell by how dizzy I was that I musta been bleeding pretty good. After everything, I trusted the fellas to tell me if Addie had been hurt
or not. I still had to see her for myself though, to make sure.

  “Don’t tell her…” I tucked both hands to my gut, hoping she wouldn’t see. The last thing she probably needed was more worry.

  She was sitting on the floor when I stumbled out there; doing everything I could to stand upright by myself. Though I couldn’t see real good, it was plain to see she was scared just by the way she had her knees pulled up close to her—shaking like a flower in the wind. I wanted to kneel down next to her but the pain was too much, and I was a little nervous that if I really tried, I might just go and pass out. I settled for letting a couple of my fingers run along the side of her cheek instead.

  “Hey.”

  Addie looked up and smiled. She was wet and looked tired, but looked okay enough.

  “Let me take you home.”

  I wish I coulda seen her face when we got on the plane, asked her what she thought, joked around ’bout how Ben spent our money…but it took all my concentration to stay awake. And once I was up those boarding stairs and in that seat with her safe beside me, I was okay to admit that I didn’t even care about that.

  My mind was a clogged drain with all the noise the fellas were making. Reid had run to the cockpit straightaway and seconds later was swearing and yelling into every speaker around him. The sound of Ben’s voice told me he was probably yammering away on his phone, and the echoing of Polo’s boots as he paced up and down the little aisle was in my head too.

  All that cleared when she leaned towards me. “What happened back there?”

  “Later.”

  I grabbed the seat in front of me hard when the dark started to close in. The pain from my hand just enough for me snap out of it. As clever as I thought I’d been though, it wasn’t near clever enough, ’cause Addie was looking at the red that the little aisle lights and my hands had exposed. She went as white as those stupid leather seats on that stupid overpriced plane. I told my brain to smile but the message was having a hard time getting’ through.

  “Charlie?”

  If she already knew there didn’t seem to be a lotta sense in trying to keep pressure on it no more. I reached out for her and tried to get some of the wet off her face, mad at myself that I was letting the blood loss get the best of me—cursing myself for smearing her cheek with the red.

  “It’s just a scratch. Promise.”

  Addie smiled all sad and pretty. “Leave lying for the liars.”

  She pulled my hand away and called out. I saw more tears coming up in her eyes, mixing in with her dripping hair but I didn’t know what to do about it.

  “What in the hell were you thinking?” she half-whispered, half-yelled at me. And again, I told my brain to smile, but it didn’t work at all.

  I reached for her again, not too sure it wouldn’t be my last chance. “I was thinking ’bout you.” Then I let the dark come.

  It faded in and out, kinda like the waves over a shoreline. And when the sand was clear I heard her voice. The words were never real clear, but I didn’t really stretch for them too much—to be honest I was just happy that she was still with me. When the dark did come I felt the pain, and I knew that the dark wasn’t dark enough to keep me from feeling what was going to happen next.

  ***

  Things were quiet when I opened up my eyes. So quiet that I had to remind myself where I was and what all had happened. It only took a few seconds then for my sight to focus up, and I was really glad once it did. Addie was still sitting beside me, hunched over with her hair dangling in her face. If she knew I was awake yet she hadn’t noticed. Instead, she was all focused on the cell phone in her hand, eyes moving from line to line. She was biting her lip so hard I thought she might bite a hole right through.

  All the shades were down so I didn’t know what time of the night it was, or morning, for that matter. Judging by the way my legs were cramped up though and how quiet everything was, I had to guess that we’d been flying for at least a couple of hours.

  My neck was sore too when I looked down at myself. I didn’t have my shirt no more, and in its place was a bunch of gauze where I’d gotten myself stabbed. Straight away I smiled and looked back at her.

  What had her so interested? I didn’t wanna bother her or do any movin’ that would make me start bleeding again. Then again, to hell with it. I leaned forward to get a better look. Sure enough she was reading an article about her—one of those insane ones where nobody knew what in the hell they were talking about.

  “I like the ones that say you were abducted by aliens.”

  “Charlie!”

  She threw her arms around me but the suddenness of it made me pull back and both movements made me pull muscles in my midsection.

  “Oh, sorry! Sorry!”

  I laughed, but that hurt too—worse actually.

  “If it were anybody else—”

  “You wouldn’t have so many problems.”

  I might not have been able to laugh, but at least I could still smile. “Just think ’bout how boring life would be.”

  “I don’t see your life being anything close to ordinary.”

  A crushed up plastic water bottle zoomed by my ear before hitting Addie upside the head. More bottles and a bunch of candy wrappers followed up. I glanced over just as the fellas were gearing up for another attack.

  “Hi, guys.”

  Yuri called me a jackass.

  “Hey, Charlie! That was a crazy mess back there man! There was like blood all over the place and everybody was yelling at everybody. If you were awake it would have been even louder, man! Hey, you want some candy? I found some candy—”

  “How are you feeling?” Ben asked

  Sighing, I made myself look completely away from Addie. “Like I’ve been shanked.”

  Ben smiled. “Makes me feel young again.”

  Forgetting what it did, I laughed, pulling away from the pain and to Addie when she pinched my arm.

  “It’s not funny, Charlie. I didn’t think—I mean with all of the blood and everything.” There was a bump where she had been biting her lip. If I hadn’t known ’bout her, I woulda said she was just one of those grifters dedicated to their work—only pretending to care. But now I knew it was really a sign of her caring about me.

  I knew neither one was good.

  I pulled for her, trying to keep my face plain through the pain. Like she knew I was a liar, too. Addie closed her eyes when she nuzzled her head against my arm. There was a lot of pain in the world, but Addie hadn’t been exposed to a lot of it and since I’d met her that was all I’d given her.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered to her. “I ain’t used to having somebody care ’bout what happens to me.”

  I felt her lips on the inside of my elbow.

  “He told me you were in there and I kept seeing all the stuff that ever happened in there. I didn’t think—”

  “Goddamn right, you didn’t think!” Reid called from ahead. “Could have gotten us all sent to Changi. I’m not going to a Singapore prison for your sorry ass—”

  “Easy, kids.”

  I didn’t listen to none of them though and tried to move down lower in my seat so I could reach her ear. “In the dark, Addie, I heard your voice. I think you’re ’bout the only thing that kept me from going straight to Diyu, the real one.”

  She grabbed my arm harder, her nails digging into my skin. “My stupidity almost got you killed, Charlie.”

  There was more of that crazy-talk again. It drove me nuts, up the wall and back again so that I kinda wanted to hit somebody. Then again—wasn’t that what kinda made me fall in love with her in the first place?

  “No. That greedy, yellow-bellied, piece of crap Wallace is what almost got you killed—”

  “Not me, Charlie! You!”

  “Let us not get ahead of ourselves,” Ben said. “I don’t know about any of you, but until I get home, I’ll hardly be capable of very much brainstorming.”

  “Where are we going, anyway?” Addie asked me.

 
I smiled down at her. “They didn’t tell you?”

  Ignoring them, I turned my attention back to her. There were new bruises on her face just starting to show—a cut on her eyebrow just like the one I had. I cleared my throat and tried to concentrate. I couldn’t let The Red get me, not now—now when there was so little time left and nothing to do but hold her. “In the wine country there’s a little town that makes everybody fall in love with it.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yup. Everybody’s got their own place nearby, but we usually just bother Ben at his house.” I swallowed hard and looked away. It was too damn bad I’d never get to show her where I lived. There wasn’t much to show—there never was—but it was mine just the same.

  And I wanted to share everything decent I had with her.

  Addie’s eyebrow went straight up and I could see she wasn’t so sure. “Where exactly is this place, anyway?”

  “Northern California. You know a lot of other ‘wine countries’?” Despite the pain, I still felt pretty good. Even after getting stabbed I could still mess with her pretty good.

  “For all I knew you were taking me to a cave in the middle of Italy.”

  “Hmm…” I stroked my chin like an evil genius. “That ain’t a bad idea, either.”

  She rolled her eyes. At the same time though, her face had broken into a full out blush and it gave me great daydreaming ideas.

  “Oh! Oh! Oh! Hey, Ben? Ben? Is Elise making pancakes for dinner today? Because that would be really great.”

  “Who is Elise?” Addie mouthed the words but I hardly paid any attention. The bump from her lip biting had gone away, but they were still all puffy and I wanted to kiss ’em more than ever.

  I musta been feeling better.

  Was she surprised that Ben had a long-time girl? Somebody he went home to every night—most nights anyway?

  “Charlie? Charlie?” Her voice went up higher than I thought possible and she shook me. Without even thinking ’bout it, I had shut my eyes and she musta thought the worst. I smiled and opened one of ’em up. I still didn’t like having her worry about me, but it was weird nice to know she cared that much.