Suppressed

by Kira Saito

  The group stopped their silent screams, closed their mouths and nodded enthusiastically. Relying on my knowledge and Cecile’s knowledge I tried to figure out what this implied, but for the life of me, I couldn’t make sense of why I was there and what was expected of me. Perhaps, I was foolish and naïve but their hopeless energy melted something inside of me and instead of being disgusted I felt sorry for this strange tongueless group.

  They stared at me with their tragic eyes and moved in closer. I tried to back away and run, but they were too fast. They drew closer and closer until every inch of my flesh was covered by sweaty hands of all shapes, sizes and textures. They clawed through my hair and ripped at my clothes. Fingers went up my nose and into my ears. My screams were muffled by their greasy fingers and fists that prodded and poked my body until it was bruised and sore.

  “Get the hell away from me!” I screamed in rage, as I kicked, punched, and pushed them off of me in a mad fury. Despite all of my rage they outnumbered me, and I knew I didn’t have time or material to call upon a loa, so I thought fast and while suffering this horrific abuse I managed to pick up a nearby Segon drum. Wildly, I started to beat the instrument hoping to cause a distraction. As I hit the drum, the group started to scatter and I was left alone.

  “I’m not the enemy, I swear. I want to help,” I said, as I put down the drum and held my hands up in the air in peace.

  This calmed down the strange group. They picked up their drums and started to play them while spinning and gyrating to the rhythm. All except for the plump lady who continued to stare at me.

  I drew closer to the plump lady and stared at her. I wanted to ask her what her name was but that would have been pretty pointless, so I communicated with a language that was universal. I communicated with the language of love. I slipped my thin arms around her waist and held her for a few seconds. “Everything is going to be okay.” It was such a lie, how the hell did I know if everything was going to be okay? But what else was I suppose to say to a group of people who had their tongues ripped out and their voices silenced? “Look, I’ll help you. I’ll do whatever it takes, I promise. This isn’t fair, whatever this is,” I said, as I pointed to the tree, “isn’t right, it just isn’t.”

  Her full lips stretched into a wide smile and before I could make another move I felt her rough hands clasp around my head, covering my eyes and blinding me entirely to my surroundings.

  “No!” I screamed, as I tried to claw her hands off of me. To my despair, I felt my head getting heavy and an unwelcome grogginess washed over me. Before I could let out another word a dreamlike vision appeared to me.

  It was a deliciously hot summer night and I was sitting on the cool marble porch at Darkwood. My dark hair was long, loose, but impeccably brushed so that it shone under the pale moonlight. I wore a vintage lace nightgown with tiny pearls around the low cut neckline. With my hands in my lap I rocked back and forth in the heavy old rocking chair. From a distance I looked peaceful and relaxed, but upon closer inspection, I could see that there was something wrong with my eyes and skin. My usually olive skin had a horrific gray tinge to it and my large eyes bulged unnaturally from their sockets.

  Lucus appeared in front of me and grinned. Unlike me, he was healthy and wore a radiant white smile that outshone his signature white-t. His skin had that late summer tan that gave him a glow and made him appear full of energy and life. I wanted to jump out of the rocking chair into his arms, but I saw that I was unable to move.

  “Arelia, it’s time for bed,” said Lucus, as he took me by the hand and pulled me out of the chair.

  I stared at him lifelessly and rose. He extended his arm and looped my arm through his. Even though my face was expressionless and dull, I could see that this Arelia wanted to scream.

  “Why aren’t you saying anything?” I asked the vision of myself. “Say something!” I attempted to slap myself, but my hand went through the vision.

  Without warning, the ghost-like image of myself opened her mouth and attempted to scream. However, it was soundless and inside of words, blood poured out of her mouth. I peered into my own mouth and saw that my tongue had been ripped out.

  “What the hell!” I gasped as I covered my mouth in disgust.

  “Arelia, we do this every night. I know this is hard for you, but that’s just the way things are now,” said Lucus, as he took off his shirt and wiped the blood from my mouth and gown.

  He guided me into the home were Grand-mere Bea and Aunt Mae stood silently. In matching white nightgowns and silk tignons they could have passed for twins.

  “She’s still fighting,” said Lucus. “I don’t think she’ll ever give up.”

  Grand-mere Bea and Aunt Mae shook their heads in disapproval but said nothing. I quickly realized that they too had their tongues ripped out, but unlike me they had accepted their fate. My theory was proven right when Aunt Mae turned to Grand-mere Bea and mouthed something. Her green eyes spoke volumes. They were hard and disapproving that I was still fighting.

  “No!” I screamed. “No! This isn’t going to happen to me!”

  Something told me that this was a warning. A warning of what was to come if I didn’t do something and fast. But was expected of me? I suspected it had something to do with the silent, tongueless group. They wanted my help. They were warning me.

  “Let me out of here and I swear I’ll help you!” I screamed.

  My body jerked and my eyes opened. The plump lady stood before me with wide, expectant eyes. They pleaded with me, hoping that I would somehow understand all that she was trying to show me.

  Her lips parted and she mouthed a scream as she looked towards the forest and pointed at it with trembling hands. The group stopped drumming and fell to the ground as if they were all under some sort of strange trance beyond their control. They crawled towards the Mapou tree and clung to it for dear life.

  The plump lady continued screaming soundlessly as she pointed towards the forest.

  “You want me to go back to the forest?” I asked.

  She bobbed her head up and down. Her entire body trembled in absolute fear.

  “Arelia! Arelia! Is that you?” A warm wind carried a familiar voice from the forest towards my direction.

  I couldn’t believe it. “Sabrina?” I shouted. It couldn’t be.

  “Arelia! What took you so long? I don’t know what they’re going to do to me. I’m scared and I’m wearing really ugly clothes and plus on top of all of that, I haven’t worn any make-up in ages. Not a hint of concealer or a dab of lip gloss. It gets way worse. My hair is super frizzy because there are no blow dryers here, BUT it gets even more tragic!” Her voice was high and shrill. “They’re making me work! I’m working and my hands are covered in grime and blisters. I need a manicure, Arelia! I don’t think I’ll ever see nail polish again, ever!”

  “Sabrina, I’m here. Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you!” I shouted towards the forest. “Are you alone?”

  “No, I’m not alone. I’m with someone named Marie. The creepy ghost that possessed me and dragged me away. I’m so scared, Arelia.”

  “Don’t be scared. I’m here. I’m sorry I took so long, but nothing is going to harm you.” I chose my words carefully and spoke in a calm even voice, but inside I was a hot mess.

  Damn. Really, Marie. Really! You backstabbing traitor. I went through hell and back and now you’re acting like the child. Had I gotten it all wrong? I had been under the impression that once I followed the loa, relived my tragic past, and became a more laid back accepting person, they would have at least let Sabrina go.

  “Look, I have to go,” I said to the lady.

  She shook her head before opening her mouth and letting out another silent scream. She fell to the ground and started to wildly spasm.

  “I get it,” I said. “You’re scared, but I’m going to walk into that forest and face whatever you’re so scared of and I promise that I’ll help you somehow.”

  She started to cry, but at least
she stopped spasming. She gave me a small, uncertain smile and nodded her head in understanding.

  Even though they paid me no attention, I gave the gruesome tongueless group one final wave and then sprinted as fast as I could towards the dark forest.

  Chapter Four

  Ti-Jean

  Somewhere on the Other side

  Present Day

  Once I reached the forest, I stopped to catch my breath. I noticed that this area of the forest was different from where I had previously been. In addition to being filled with stately palm trees, it was also filled with thick, dense bushes that were scattered sporadically throughout the landscape. Though this side was as equally as bright and lush, it was void of any sounds which I found odd. I listened carefully for the sweet humming of birds, the slow hiss of a snake, or for deers as their hooves crushed the twigs underneath them, but my ears were met with an unsettling silence.

  “Arelia, they’re coming for me! Please help me! I don’t know where I am and I’m scared. They’re coming for me!”

  “Sabrina? Where are you?” I asked, as I surveyed the area searching for any sign that would lead me to her.

  The sign came in the form of a baby coconut. The hard fruit crashed into the top of my head with a dull thud. “Ouch!” I rubbed the top of my head and felt a small bump already forming.

  I looked towards the top of the tree and saw that the coconuts were violently shaking, as if they were going to fall and crush me at any second. I backed away from the tree, remembering that death by coconuts was a very real and serious problem in tropical parts of the world. One by one the hard, green fruit fell to the ground and landed at the tips of my bare toes.

  “Arelia! You said you were coming! I’m still waiting. I’m trying to be patient, but I don’t think I can take this much longer. Where are you?”

  Sabrina’s voice sounded as if it was coming from inside one of the coconuts. I madly shifted through the fruit trying to locate the exact location of her voice.

  “Sabrina, keep talking. I’m here,” I said. How I was going to get inside of a coconut? I wasn’t exactly sure. “What do you see around you? Tell me what you see,” I ordered. I remembered that cops on television usually asked victims of kidnappings to describe their surroundings in order to help locate them. “Details,” I muttered. “The devil is in the details.”

  “I see darkness and graves… Lots of graves.”

  “Darkness and graves? Are you sure?” I asked skeptically.

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what I see. That’s all I’ve been seeing for Dieu knows how long. I’m sickly pale like a dead fish. I can’t remember the last time I saw a ray of sunshine. I need my golden tan back!”

  “Sabrina, how is that possible? Are you sure you're surrounded by darkness and graves, because your voice is coming from a pile of coconuts.”

  “Eww coconuts! They’re super fattening! Why would I go near a pile of coconuts?” she asked in disgust. “Arelia, when have you ever seen me eat a coconut? I’m starting to lose faith. Coconuts. Ewww.”

  Despite the situation, I chuckled. Some things never change. Sabrina would never change. There was something comforting about that realization. “Okay, relax. It doesn’t matter where you are. I’m coming. Just hold on.”

  After a few moments of shaking coconuts and unsuccessfully trying to locate Sabrina, I stopped and connected the dots; coconuts and bushes. These two symbols indicated that I was in the presence of a very powerful and violent, dark magician: the one and only Ti Jean.

  I remembered that Ti Jean was a fire loa, who made his home in the bushes and coconut trees. He was legendary, due to his skills as a magician who primarily dealt with black magic. In addition to being super powerful, he was also super secretive and that was what made him very popular with secret Voodoo societies or sanpwèl. These societies loved Ti Jean because, like them, he knew how to keep his mouth shut and get the job done without complaining or revealing his ways or means.

  “Hello, Ti Jean, are you there?” I asked, shifting my focus from the coconuts, to the bushes, and then to the coconut tree. I forced down my fear and tried to forget about all the legends I had heard of Ti Jean. Even though I had never dealt with him as Cecile or Arelia, I knew that he could be very violent. He loved to dance on fire and adored sacrifices of sheep that were crisp and burnt to ashes. If he had Sabrina, I was skeptical that he would give her up without a fight or a huge sacrifice of some sorts.

  My cries to Ti Jean were met with silence. Of course they were. I recounted a chant that he loved and began to sing in an attempt to lure him out of whatever place he was hiding.

  Fre Ti Jean eh ah eti papa, fres Ti Jean eh ah et tipapa

  Houngan p abo yon jou ya mouri ya mouri Ti Jean fres Ti Jean eh ya mouri

  Azaro.

  One of the most amazing things about having my memory back was that I remembered all of the chants Cecile had spent hours memorizing. When Ti Jean didn’t show himself, I repeated the chant:

  Fre Ti Jean eh ah eti papa, fres Ti Jean eh ah et tipapa

  Houngan p abo yon jou ya mouri ya mouri Ti Jean fres Ti Jean eh ya mouri

  Azaro.

  When he still didn’t respond to my chant, I decided to rely upon my intimate knowledge of the spirit world. “I know you’re not really Erzulie’s son or cousin, and I know the two of you aren’t really having an incestuous relationship. Those deluded practitioners have got it all wrong. You and Erzulie are just friends. That’s all. She’s really married to Damballa, Agwe, and Ogoun. Plus, she thinks Brise is beautiful. Not sure, if she’ll take him as a fourth husband though. Probably not, I think she’s got her eye on another spirit. Not sure who…” I rambled before cutting myself off. Not only was I an official Voodoo Queen, I was also becoming quite the gossip queen.

  Strange, but not surprising, like the human world, the loa who roamed around on the other side, loved to gossip and spread rumors. One of the more scandalous rumors was that Erzulie was Ti Jean’s mom or cousin and they were involved in an inappropriate relationship, which was a little gross. “I know you’re a brave and honorable spirit,” I added.

  My flattery worked. Without warning, the bushes around me caught fire. The flames blazed high and majestically, as they danced in the sweltering afternoon sun. I felt my face get hotter and my skin sweatier as they continued to rise. They leapt from bush to bush until every single bush in the forest was on fire. The tall coconut tree shook violently. After a moment or two I saw a figure emerge from the protection of the palm leaves.

  I held in a laugh as I got a clearer view of the almighty Ti Jean. While I had expected a loa along the lines of the tall, dark, and undeniably handsome Mait Carrefour, the reality was starkly different from my imagination.

  Ti Jean manifested in front of me in the form of a tiny, dark, one-legged dwarf. His long, angular face was old and wrinkled as if he had spent several lifetimes roasting in the unforgiving tropical heat. His ridiculously long beard was an unsightly shade of yellow and stretched down to his toes, which curled inwards due their length. On his head he wore a large brimmed straw hat that was tattered and torn. In his right hand he carried a long baton on which he leaned on for support. In his other hand he carried his famous boutielle Ti Jean, a bottle that was made out of cinnamon, sugarcane, clairin, anetoile, sugar, and lanni. I guessed that the bottle held his favorite drink: dark rum infused with incredibly hot peppers.

  “Hello,” I said, as I gave him a wide smile that I hoped hid my insecurity.

  He ignored me and hopped on top of a burning bush and started to dance on top of a large flame. He let out a wild scream and poured some rum on top of the flames which made them even higher and more forceful.

  I silently cursed under my breath. So, all the rumors about his violent temper tantrums were true.

  “I need your help, please!” I tried to get his attention by wildly waving my hands and screaming on the top of my lungs.

  “Oh, please! You can’t control me! No one can
control me. I do what I want, when I want, and only on my terms!” he screamed, as he threw a coconut towards my head.

  “What the…?” I screamed, as I swerved to the right, avoiding the nut by a mere inch. “I’m not trying to control you. I just need your help.”

  He let out a wild laugh and hopped on to the next burning bush, which was rather impressive considering he only had one leg. “What makes you think I want to help you? I don’t have to help anyone, especially not you!”

  I resisted the urge to argue with him and defend myself; all the while I was dying to ask him what the hell was wrong with me? “I know that you don’t have to help me, but I’m humbly asking you if it’s possible that you can out of the kindness of your heart. I’m not asking for selfish reasons. I’m asking on behalf of my friend. I think she’s trapped inside one of those coconuts and I don’t know how to get to her.”

  “Arelia! Are you still there? Arelia? Where are you?” Sabrina’s voice cried out from the pile of coconuts that were next to me.

  “See! See! Did you hear that?” I asked excitedly, as I picked up a random coconut. “My best friend is inside of one these coconuts and I need to get to her.”

  Ti Jean let out a bored sigh as he leapt off of the burning bush and landed before my feet. The top of his head reached just below my knee cap, which I thought was kind of funny, but I held in my laughter.

  He took a swig from his boutielle Ti Jean and then used his baton to smack me in the knees. “Think the sight of me is funny, do you?” he asked. His large brown eyes bulged wildly.

  A crippling pain surged through me, which made me lose my balance and prompted me to land on the hard earth with a soft thud. “Was that really necessary?” I asked, as I clutched my throbbing knee.