Whisper My Last Goodbye

by Karen Woods

  Harpur stopped her dead in her tracks. “No love, I’ll be up soon. I’m just chilling on my own for a bit. My head’s been mashed lately and I just need some me time.” Maddie rolled her eyes and left the room. There was no way she was getting into any long conversation about what was bothering her mother. More than likely it would all blow over anyway. It always did.

  Harpur began to turn all the electrical appliances off. An hour or so had passed and she was more than ready for some sleep. With any luck, Neil would be asleep and she could rest knowing he wasn’t pecking her head all night long. Climbing the stairs, her eyes were drawn to a crack of light coming from Joanne’s bedroom door. As she stepped up the last few stairs she paused. She could see Joanne texting on her phone. Every now and then she would take a snap of her breast and start to giggle. Harpur smirked, she must have been on the phone to Sam. She knew her son had an illegal mobile inside the jail. Lots of inmates had them and after bang up, the prisoners would pull their phones from their secret stash and phone their loved ones.

  Harpur lay in bed and as predicted, Neil was snoring his head off, grunting like a pig. Her mind started to drift to meeting Dessie in a few days and her breathing was getting faster, she had to stop it, try and relax. What on earth should she do? Dessie was trouble in her eyes but the attraction was strong and there was no way she could back down. Say he was the one, say after all these years he was the man she was destined to be with? He did give her butterflies, he did make her laugh and whatever the connection was, it felt good. What was her alternative anyway? To live a life she would never be fulfilled in and be unhappy? Or to take a chance on a man she knew nothing about?

  And then there was Paul Burton. What was her next move with him? Sam knew a few hard cases in the area and if needed, she would pay them to avenge her brother’s death. Yes, she’d do whatever it took to see justice served. This was street law now. Paul’s days were numbered and the clock was ticking. But for now, she had to plan her weekend away. Looking at her mobile, she clocked a message from Dessie. Peering over at her husband, she began to read it.

  “Harpur, I’m so excited about this weekend. There is so much I want to say to you but I’ll wait until we are face to face. We will have a laugh me and you. I can’t wait. Have a great day tomorrow and keep smiling. Always Dessie X”

  Harpur felt a warmth rush through her body. It started in her toes and went right up to the top of her head. Her fingers typed a reply.

  “Me too. It will be good to catch up. Love Harpur X”

  Wait a minute, he might read too much into that. He might think she loved him…

  She erased the message and stared at the screen, hesitating. After a few seconds she retyped “Love Harpur X” What did it matter anyway, it was only a word.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Bridget was sipping coffee at the kitchen table in Harpur’s house. The plan was set and she was ready to deliver the news to Neil about the girls’ weekend away. Harpur was a dithering wreck and you could see the fear in her eyes. Neil walked into the kitchen and as soon as he spotted Bridget, he mumbled something under his breath. “Good morning Neil. I see you’re as pleased to see me as I am you?”

  This woman was so straight, she held nothing back. Neil raised a false smile over at her and let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yep, it’s always a joy to see you Bridget. What’s happened to you to be here this early in the morning, have you shit the bed or something?”

  Here it was, the chance to deliver the killer blow, to make his jaw drop. “I’ve come to ask Harpur if she’s allowed to come on a hen do this weekend. You don’t mind do you?”

  Neil shot a look over at his wife and acted like he never stopped her from doing anything. “She’s free to do whatever she wants. She doesn’t need my permission. My wife knows that without even asking.”

  Bridget raised her eyes over at Harpur, this was a lot easier than she first thought. “There you go love. I wish I had an understanding fella like Neil.” He turned to face her and he knew instantly she was taking the piss out of him. But he was already in the bad books and he would have been hung drawn and quartered if he’d tried to throw any abuse at Bridget. Harpur made some small talk about the weekend away and acted like she wasn’t really in the mood to go. Bridget pretended to work on her. “Come on, when was the last time you had some time for yourself? It will be a laugh, the girls are a right scream and to tell you the truth I could do with the company.”

  Neil was pottering about the kitchen and they knew he was listening to every word they said. “Right, okay. I’ll come. I’ve got nothing to wear though. God knows when I last bought anything new.”

  Bridget smirked and folded her arms tightly across her chest. She knew she was pushing it here but went ahead anyway. “I’m sure Neil, being the kind-hearted soul that he is, will treat you to a new outfit. Isn’t that right Neil?”

  He swallowed hard and you could see the tight-arse didn’t want to part with any cash but the pressure was on, he was on the spot. “Of course I will. How much is a new dress love, twenty quid will cover it won’t it?”

  Bridget burst out laughing. She would teach him a lesson. “Are you having a laugh? She wouldn’t get a pair of tights for that much. You need to dig deep in your pocket and pull at least a oner out. And that’s shopping on a budget, trust me I know.”

  Neil’s cheeks were bright red, he was actually sweating as he opened his wallet. If things had been different, and he wasn’t trying to save his marriage, he would have told her straight that she was getting twenty quid and that was her lot. Take it or leave it. Neil passed the money over to his wife and kissed her on the side of her cheek. “What my wife wants, my wife gets from me Bridget. How are you doing finding a man by the way, are you still single?” What a wanker he was, he knew this was Bridget’s sore point. “I mean, time’s ticking now surely? You need to be thinking about whether or not you’re ever going to have kids or not.”

  This was below the belt, fancy saying something like that to a woman. Bridget saw red and there was no way she wasn’t giving him a mouthful. “Well you see Neil, I won’t get married to any old prick. I want to meet the one, perhaps Harpur should have waited around a little longer and she might have found her Mr Right too.”

  Neil was ready to throw Bridget out of the house, he was seething. How dare she talk to him in his own house like this? He looked over at his wife for some support. After all, he’d just bunged her a right few quid, surely she must have had his back. Instead Harpur never said a word, she turned to face the sink and sniggered to herself. That would teach him to think he could have one over on her best friend. Bridget stood up and flicked the invisible dust from the top of her shoulder. It was game, set and match in her eyes. She was the winner and Neil would have to walk away and lick his wounds. “Right, I’m off to work. If you want, we can meet at lunchtime and go look for something to wear?”

  “Yeah, that would be brilliant. You have more fashion sense than me anyway.” Bridget left the room after a quick kiss on her friend’s cheek. Before she left, she checked where Neil was and winked over at Harpur. The mission had been successful. Neil stomped about the kitchen and it was obvious he’d seen his arse. Was it because she was going away for the weekend or was it because he’d had to fork out some money for his wife’s dress? She wasn’t sure.

  Joanne walked into the kitchen and Joseph followed closely behind her. Joanne looked like she’d been crying. Joseph barged past her and stood facing his nana. “My dad said Mummy is a slut and he’s going to shave her hair off when he gets home.”

  Harpur was distraught and she quickly picked her grandson up and placed him on her knee. “Daddy would never hurt mummy. He is probably having a joke or something like that. Take no notice of him.”

  Joanne burst out crying and sat down at the table. “He’s not lying Harpur. Someone has told Sam that I’ve been sleeping about and he said I need to pack my stuff and get out of here before he comes home.”

  Neil b
utted in, “Well, just ignore him. How dare he say stuff like that to you. And since when have you been sleeping around, you never go out?”

  Harpur was thinking, her eyes dipped and even though she should have kept her mouth shut she spoke her mind. “Well, you do go out. What about when I mind Joseph? In fact, you were out a few weeks ago and God knows what time you fell in here.”

  Maddie entered the kitchen and joined the conversation. “If Sam heard it in jail then it must be true. Let’s face it Joanne, it’s not like you’ve not been around the block a few times. What do you expect when you have had more nob ends than weekends?”

  Joanne turned to face Maddie and she was ready to knock her out. Who was she to judge her anyway? She hissed over at her and pointed a single finger in the air. “Listen Maddie, I know he’s your brother but he’s wrong about this. Yes, we all have a past. You know that more than anyone and we all have secrets we like to keep, but as for sleeping around I’m innocent this time.”

  Maddie backed down almost instantly. What was going on here? Her daughter was gobby and this was so out of character for her. Harpur clocked the look between the girls. They were staring each other out, ready to fight. They had hate in their eyes. Neil came over and patted Joanne on top of her shoulder. “Dry your eyes, you can stay here as long as you need to. Sam needs to grow up. Where does he think you’re going to go at such short notice? You have his son to think about too. Is he forgetting that?”

  Harpur pulled a face. He was always having a snide pop at her son and she was sick of it. She fought his corner. “Sam must have his own reasons for this. He wouldn’t just say something like that for nothing would he? There is no smoke without fire.” She looked at Maddie for back-up but she never said a word. “Anyway,” she said glancing at the clock, “I’m off to work, you can sort it out yourselves. I think a shaved head would suit you anyway Joanne so it’s not all bad is it. See you later.”

  This was so harsh, where was the sympathy? Harpur picked up her handbag and left the room. Neil ran after her. Joanne turned to face Maddie and snarled. “Oh, so you think you’re Mrs Innocent now do you? You forget who I know so I’d watch what you’re saying if I was you. We all have skeletons in our closet don’t we?” Maddie looked like she was going to be sick, the colour drained from her and her legs buckled. There was something wrong here for sure.

  Neil marched back into the kitchen and ragged his fingers through his hair. “For crying out loud, that woman will be the death of me. Nothing is ever good enough for her.” He looked over at Maddie and he could see her eyes clouding over. “Come here love, don’t you be getting upset. I know it’s upsetting but we will get through this. We’re just all a bit stressed at the moment.” Neil looked closer at his daughter as he wrapped his arms around her. She was still his baby, always would be, no matter what. Joanne sat at the kitchen table staring into space. Sam would be home soon and she knew her days were numbered. He was a mad head and she knew she’d have some serious explaining to do to make him believe her story. She was sick to death of people interfering all the time. Why the hell didn’t they keep their big noses away from stuff that didn’t concern them anyway?

  *

  Harpur sat behind the reception desk. It was boring today and the phone had hardly rung at all. Sitting back in her chair, she felt her mobile phone vibrate in her pocket. Quickly, she checked the message.

  “Show us your tits then. Love Dessie X”

  Harpur sniggered and her cheeks were beetroot. What kind of woman did he think she was? She sat thinking for a few seconds before she nipped to the toilet, she held a mischievous look in her eye. She’d show him how game she was. Harpur was excited and up for a laugh. Before she knew what was happening she’d lifted her top up and took a snap of her red lacy bra. This would shock him, teach him a lesson. He would fall down dead when he saw a glimpse of her breasts. Without any further hesitation, she sent the snap over to him with a message attached to it.

  “There you go smart-arse. Now let’s see something from you. Maybe a cock shot. Love Harpur X.”

  The message was sent and she didn’t care anymore what he thought about her. All was fair in love and war. She was excited and alive and that was all that mattered at this moment. This had really got out of hand, there should have been boundaries set. Okay, chat to an old friend every now and then, see how life is treating them but this was on another level. Harpur went back to her desk and she was smirking. She felt liberated, full of confidence. Proud that for once in her life she’d done something without even thinking about it first. “Hello gorgeous,” a voice shouted from behind her. With a quick look she spotted Donny. Her mouth wobbled and it took her a while to reply.

  “Good morning. I didn’t know you had ordered any parts.”

  Donny walked straight towards her and leaned over her desk, maintaining eye contact. “I haven’t, I was just passing and thought I’d nip in to see you. No crime in that is there? Do you fancy coming out for dinner? Come on, it’s nearly lunchtime anyway. And I bet you’re only stuck in here eating a daft Pot Noodle or something like that. I’ll take you for a top scran.”

  Harpur smiled and shook her head. “Sorry, I’m meeting my friend in a bit, we’re nipping into town to see if I can find a new dress. Female bonding.”

  Donny was deflated. “So you’re blowing me out again, really?”

  She twisted her blue pen in her fingers and looked him up and down. This guy was a dish, a prize catch for any woman. Why on earth was he bothering with her when he could have had the pick of any woman he wanted, she was flattered. “Maybe some other time. I’ve told you already I’m married right?”

  Donny gasped his breath and shook his head slightly. “God blimey, I said I would take you out for a bite to eat. I’ve not said I want to marry you have I?” He smirked at her and she realised that perhaps he was just after a bit of friendship. Anyway, what harm would it do to keep her options open, plan B maybe? Dessie was just a friend and no different from Donny. She thought about it for a few seconds, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

  “I’ll come out with you tomorrow. But on my life, today I’ve already made plans.”

  Donny was impressed with himself and leaned over the counter so she could feel his warm breath on her cheeks. “I wouldn’t mind marrying you too if I’m cutting to the chase. I’ve not fancied anyone in years but you just take my breath away. It’s like you have put me under some kind of magical spell or something. I’m mesmerised by you.”

  Harpur froze; was he being serious or what? She’d only met the guy a few times and here he was declaring his undying love to her. Was this a wind-up or something, he couldn’t be serious. “You don’t even know me. How can you say stuff like that?”

  Donny held a flat palm over his heart and delivered his words. “I know what I feel in here and you have been playing havoc with my head. I can’t stop thinking about you. What’s all that about never ever feeling like this before?” Harpur burst out laughing and so did he. Of course, he was bullshitting. “So, I’ll meet you here tomorrow at this time. I’ll take you somewhere nice. It will be better than eating some of that crap you eat anyway.” Donny pointed at her sandwich. It was curled up at the sides and soggy.

  Yes, he was right, anything was better than eating a crusty old sandwich that she’d made early that morning. Donny whistled as he walked from her desk. She checked him out and for the first time ever she imagined what he would be like in bed. He looked like he’d be fun between the sheets, adventurous. Harpur pressed the numbers on her phone and sat back in her chair. “Hi Bridget, you never guess what,” she paused before she continued. “That Donny I told you about has just offered to take me out for dinner tomorrow.” She listen eagerly to whatever Bridget was saying to her. “If you be quiet for a second I will tell you. I said yes.” Harpur held her hand over her neck that was turning red and blotchy. “I know, what’s up with me lately? I think I’m having a mid-life crisis. First Dessie and now Donny, I’m like a man mag
net at the moment.” Harpur arranged to meet Bridget to go shopping and the call ended. Staring into space, she seemed in a world of her own, a world where anything could happen.

  *

  “We’re not shopping in the old-codger shops. You need something bright and sexy. If Dessie Ryan sees you in a frumpy outfit he will run a mile and make a laughing stock of you. Come on, I know a few shops that will have just what you need.”

  Harpur stood on the spot, not sure of anything anymore. “Bridget, I don’t want a latex dress or something slutty. I want to look nice, not like a prostitute.”

  Bridget grabbed her by her arm and dragged her into a nearby store. There was a sea of colours; red, blue, green. Her eyes were all over and she didn’t have a clue what she was looking for. Bridget loved shopping and now she had a project she was walking around the shop picking up dresses and blouses. The music in the store was upbeat and Harpur found herself singing along to the tune. Bridget piled a load of outfits into her hands. “Right, grab these and start trying stuff on while I look around and see if there is anything else. Go on, I’ve not got all day.” Harpur wobbled into the changing rooms and was met by an assistant. Once her items were counted she was given a card and shown to a free changing room. Harpur stood looking in the full-length mirror as she started to get undressed. She wasn’t fat, in fact she was pretty good for her age. A lot of women would have been envious of her body. She stared into the mirror and examined every inch of her body. Nobody had seen it in years, well, only Neil. How would she feel if she decided to have sex with Dessie, would she crumble, be shy? No, if the date went that way she would give him the time of his life and show him what he’d been missing all these years. She knew she had a sexy side and although she’d not used it for a few years, she knew it still existed. She pushed her breasts up, sucked her stomach in and turned to the side. Yes, she would show him what she was all about for sure. Any woman could be a porn queen when they put their mind to it.