Max and the Multiverse, #1

by Zachry Wheeler

  “Close the door then,” the voice said. “You’re letting all the good air out.”

  Perra closed the door behind her, then recoiled as it locked and reset itself. Zoey struggled to find a bearing on the mystery voice. After a slow scan of the massive room, her squinting eyes fell upon a wee fellow with white hair and a white coat, standing about a meter high and facing the wall. His tiny hands darted around control panels, sending blips and chirps into the sterile air.

  “Are you Halim?” Zoey said.

  “In the flesh,” Halim said, sounding like an overly caffeinated Irishman. “I take it you have brought me the shift drive core?”

  “Wh—what?” Zoey narrowed her eyes. “How do you know that?”

  “It’s my job to know. Plus, Nifan told me all about it. She does love to play her games. Strange lass, that one. Lord Essien made a deal with her in order to find you, which set this whole plan into motion.”

  “Plan?”

  “She did not tell you?”

  Halim paused his furious hands and turned from the wall to address Zoey. His eyes almost jumped from their sockets when he saw her. He yelped like a frightened puppy and sought refuge behind the nearest table. Zoey caught a brief glimpse of his pale blue skin, bushy white beard, and matching eyebrows before he disappeared.

  “What just happened?” she said, turning to the group.

  Perra and Max shrugged while Ross groomed his bicep.

  Zoey walked over to the table and peeked around the corner. Halim sat with his back to a table leg, panting and knocking his knuckles. They met eyes again. His terrified expression terrified itself even more, prompting a louder yelp before darting behind the next table. Zoey turned to the group and spread her arms in the universal WTF pattern. Out of nowhere, Max started laughing. Perra shrugged as Zoey slapped her arms to her side and glared at him. While wiping away tears, Max motioned for Zoey to return to the group. His belly laugh slowed to a snicker as she rejoined them.

  “What’s so funny?” she said in a harsh whisper.

  “Don’t you see?” Max said. “This is a former member of the Suth’ra. He’s a giant nerd and you’re smoking hot. He has no idea how to talk to you.”

  Zoey huffed. “You can’t be serious.”

  Perra tilted her head. “He’s afraid of us?”

  “Yes. Well, kind of, in a manner of speaking. Listen, it’s all about the wheelhouse. You know machines. Zoey knows trafficking. I know nerds. You’re in my territory now, so let me work my magic.”

  Perra nodded.

  Zoey sighed, rolled her eyes, then nodded.

  “Okay, here’s what I need you to do ...”

  Max fell into a soft whisper as he relayed instructions to the Mulgawats. Halim’s frightened eyes peered over a table, then disappeared with another yelp once Zoey caught them. Max concluded his spiel with a thumbs-up.

  “Got it?”

  “Again, you can’t be serious,” Zoey said.

  “Trust me.”

  “I trust you,” Perra said, then nodded at Zoey.

  “Fine,” Zoey said. “Do your thing.”

  A sharp clank on the floor caught everyone’s attention. They turned to find Ross sitting on a table, shoving random items to the floor in order to gauge everyone's reaction.

  “Bad kitty, stop that!” Max said.

  Ross cocked his ears and reached for another item.

  Max glared at him and turned back to Zoey. “Okay, give me the shift drive core.”

  She retrieved the device from her sling pack and handed it to Max.

  “You two stay here. Watch for my signal.”

  Zoey unzipped her pilot suit, enough to show some respectable cleavage. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  Max walked over to the table and plunked the shift drive core on top, rattling a crop of components and startling Halim into faint yip. “This is it, Rumac’s amazing creation. It’s a work of art, really.” Max stared at the shiny ball with the admiration of a fanboy.

  Halim peeked over the table with a skeptical gaze, his terrified expression morphing into contempt. Snatching a nearby stepping stool, he huffed and stomped himself to eye level. “Art? You call this blunder art? Rumac is a hack, a sniveling dabbler.” Halim touched a fingertip to the drive core. “This was a lucky accident. Nothing more.”

  “If you say so,” Max said with a cocky tone. “He did verify the multiverse.”

  Halim twitched his bushy eyebrows. “So? Any member of the Suth’ra could have done that given the desire. What was Rumac’s field of study? Hyperspace? All he did was muse on space travel and develop jump cores. Pish posh, a halfwit child could construct better theories.” Halim waved his hand in dismissal. “I, Halim, have elevated the art of war, a true art, to countless new paradigms. At this very instant, I am preparing to test a holistic planetary defense system, the first of its kind in the history of the universe.” He balled his tiny fist and pumped it with the confidence one would expect from a narcissistic lunatic.

  Max lowered a hand to his side and gave a subtle gesture to Zoey and Perra. The Mulgawats responded by giggling and twisting like infatuated fans. Zoey folded her hands at her waist and stiffened her arms, accentuating her already impressive bust. Perra bent one knee across the other and waved at Halim while batting her deep purple eyes. His overconfident persona descended into terror once again.

  “Don’t mind them,” Max said. “They’re just groupies, been following me around for months now.” He winked at a dumbfounded Halim.

  “You? Get to hit that?” Halim’s jaw slacked.

  Max up-nodded like an arrogant prick. “Mmhmm.”

  “Wow. What do you do?”

  “I’m a max-level paladin. Earth class, retro build. I know the RPG servers inside and out.” Max raised an open palm as if holding a crystal ball. “I can bend them to my every will like a cybernetic god. I’m a meme master, an arcane ninja.”

  Halim stroked his bushy beard. “Impressive.”

  “Well, not as impressive as this shiny little beauty.” Max slapped a hand upon the shift drive core and narrowed his eyelids. “Which is why it needs to go. Like you said, hacks don’t deserve such notoriety.”

  Halim nodded in nerd solidarity. “I completely agree.”

  “So what do you think? Can we take this sucker apart? I’m itching to see what’s inside.”

  “Me too. In fact, I need one of its components to complete my own work, which is why Nifan sent you here. Lord Essien and her fleet should be in orbit by now. She and Nifan are on the brink of war, one that has been building for a very long time. However, it is Nifan who has the upper hand. Lord Essien will be the rather unfortunate test subject of my planetary defense system.” Halim snorted with glee. “You actually got a taste of it on your way down here.”

  “Whoa, hold up, that was your work?” Max redirected his fanboy praise onto Halim. “Seriously, I have to say, I almost pissed myself when your missiles tore through those Rippers. And that energy net?” Max kissed his fingertips and exploded his palm like a proud Italian. “Beautiful work. Up high, my friend.” Max offered a high five.

  Halim leaned forward and completed the slap, albeit in a weak and clumsy manner.

  Ross knocked another item to the floor and stared at Max.

  “So anyway,” Max said, ignoring the furry distraction. “Let’s bust this hack ball open.” He gave Zoey and Perra another subtle signal.

  They responded with giggles, winks, and lower lip bites.

  Max lowered his voice and leaned over the table. “Tell you what, if we can get this done quickly ...” He whispered a bon mot into Halim’s ear.

  Halim leaned back with a taut grin and nodded with the enthusiasm of a virgin at a brothel. His tiny hands nabbed the shift drive core and rolled it to his side of the table. After a few moments of careful study, he fished a tool from his pocket and started poking and prodding the surface. Panel after panel fell away, revealing a jumbled mess of wires, circuits, and delicate
machinery. He detached piece after piece with the frantic hands of an orchestra conductor. Prudent eyes studied each part for usefulness before tossing it over his shoulder. A shower of components bounced off tables and clanked onto the floor. Ross batted at any flying object that sailed past him. Max raised a hand to cover his mouth, trying to mask the complete surprise that his plan worked. An exploded pile of remnants filled the table before Halim found his reward.

  “Aha!” He lifted a tiny cylinder of pewter-like metal, about the size of a pen cap. “This is my prize.”

  Max rubbed his chin, trying to feign interest. “Hmm, interesting. Looks like, um ...” Something smart-sounding. “Expended ... neutronian ... kryptonite.” Dammit. He closed his eyes to shake off the stupid. “What is it?”

  “An extremely rare blend of isotopic alloy.”

  Max pursed his lips and nodded. “Ah, yes. Indeed.”

  “You see, my control sequence needs to absorb a massive amount of heat in order to synchronize properly. Rumac, despite his many failings, managed to develop a unique form of tungsten alloy with a colossal heat sink. He liked to use it for cooking utensils. I have not been able to replicate it.” Halim dropped from the stool and hurried over to the wall of control panels. He opened a small compartment the size of a toaster oven and secured the cylinder between a pair of mounting brackets. A few swift taps closed the panel and initiated a power sequence. The metal glowed white-hot as it harnessed an enormous energy current. Halim knocked his knuckles with giddy anticipation. “Mmm, yes. Now we can have some fun.”

  Max scooped an armful of important-looking parts from the drive core junk pile. “Hey, do you have an incinerator I can use?”

  “Yes, yes, over by the door.” Halim remained fixated on the glowing cylinder.

  Max sauntered over to the door, grinning at Zoey and Perra as he passed. He dropped the components into what resembled a laundry chute. An orange glow erupted from far below as the pieces met their doom. Max brushed his hands on his pants before rejoining Zoey and Perra with a smirk of satisfaction. They stood side-by-side, watching Halim from afar.

  “Nicely done, Earthman,” Perra said, patting him on the back.

  “I must admit, pretty damn clever,” Zoey said before bumping his shoulder.

  Max crossed his arms and cleared his throat. “I, um, promised Halim that you two would make out for a minute when this is over.”

  Zoey cocked her jaw and glared at Max.

  Perra snorted with laughter and covered her mouth.

  Ross knocked another random object off the table. “Why won’t anyone pay attention to me?!”

  CHAPTER 17

  Lord Essien’s massive fleet assembled itself into an attack formation. Dozens of battlecruisers spread themselves around the planet, their enormous black hulls and tentacled arsenals glowing with the red hues of war. They hovered in lower orbit like the tips of monstrous arrows primed for release. The hulking barrels of plasma cannons twisted in their recesses and locked onto prime targets. The doors of missile silos slid open, allowing the eyes of nukes to peek into the black. Squadrons of Rippers swarmed around the cruisers, their spidery appendages armed and ready for the assault.

  Despite the impending incursion, Hollow Hold seemed almost tranquil by comparison. Small groups of independent fighters eager to protect their sanctuary had stationed themselves around the planet. Many assumed gunner positions behind cave-protected cannons while others hid inside the interior, prepared to ambush any vessel foolish enough to enter. Numerous locals decided to flee the planet altogether, refusing to fight for an unknown cause they cared nothing about. Streaks of light carved through the green horizon as derelict ships blinked into hyperspace for parts unknown.

  Orantha Nifan, on the other hand, sat inside her cozy cubby deep inside the planet’s interior. Cloaked inside her silky war suit, she sipped on a fresh cocktail while awaiting the inevitable hail of Lord Essien. She glanced around her home of nine cycles, its plush interior radiating the kind of opulence that one might find in the galaxy core. Her bare feet rested upon an elaborate suede sofa. Ribbons of shimmering silk fell from her thighs and floated atop the smooth granite floor. A swanky servant offered to top off her tropical beverage, but she waved him away with a flick of her wrist. An impatient sigh escaped her lungs as she traced the rim of her glass with a ringed finger.

  Varokin minions scrambled across the control bridge of Lord Essien’s cruiser, shouting orders at each other as they prepared for the attack. The rumbling bellows of mounting war brought a smile to Lord Essien’s face as she surveyed the bustling nerve center from above. She turned to Jai, now standing at her side in a pink tutu and matching onesie. Essien snickered at the sight, as she had every time before.

  “Never gets old,” she said.

  Jai sighed and lowered his frowning chin.

  “Silence on the bridge!” Her forceful tone ensnared the room. “I want battle prep status on my command! Nav!”

  “All ships in position, Lord Essien,” a random minion said.

  “Resource!”

  “Full capacity, m’lord.”

  “Arsenal!”

  “Armed and ready, Your Excellency.”

  “Coms!”

  “Links are up and awaiting instruction, m’lord.”

  “Excellent. Prepare for battle! Coms, establish a link to Nifan.”

  The com controller danced with activity, creating a cloud of static above the bridge. After a brief signal crackle, it swirled into the hologram bust of Nifan.

  “Lord Essien,” Nifan said with her usual indifference. “I assume you have hailed me to surrender?”

  Essien snorted with sarcastic laughter and punched Jai on the shoulder. She slapped the railing a few times and wiped away imaginary tears. “Hardly, my dear. For it is I who am bestowing you that honor. One time offer. Accept it with dignity, or face annihilation.”

  Nifan yawned and cut the transmission.

  Essien tilted her head back, unleashing the piercing eyes of indignation. “All fleet coms online!”

  She stomped around the observation deck, slapping the back of Jai’s head with every pass. Jai responded to each hit with a slouch of emasculation. The coms minion tapped his way across a glowing panel of fleet links, piecing together a hologram grid of cruiser captains. Essien punched Jai in the kidney on her final pass, buckling his knees. He grunted and grasped the railing, wincing in pain as she turned to address her fleet.

  “Today the mighty Varokins erase the invisible hand of Orantha Nifan and destroy her poison planet! Long have we quarreled in the darkness! Long have we died at the hands of her toxic influence! It all ends, right here, right now!” She raised an open palm with crimped fingers above her head. “Ripper release! All weapons loose! On my command!”

  The cruiser captains held their collective breath, awaiting the hammer drop.

  Lord Essien’s chest heaved with panting rage, her silvery eyes bulging from their sockets, her teeth gnashing beneath taut lips. She closed her hand into a fist and whipped her arm forward. “Attack!”

  Bursts of blue light erupted from orbit as each battlecruiser unloaded its lethal arsenal. An apocalyptic rain of plasma streaks and missile trails tore through the hazy horizon. Ripper ships broke ranks and followed them down, thirsty to invade the vast cave system. Countless exhaust trails painted the dull green atmosphere with ivory brush strokes. The whites of Lord Essien’s vengeful eyes reflected the hologram attack grid as the red dots of nuke missiles sped towards the caverns. Anticipating the blinding flashes and deafening rumbles of impact, she gripped the railing with both hands and leaned over the control bridge. Jai stood beside her in his pink tutu, watching the attack through a limp and deflated gaze. Lord Essien’s malevolent grin grew wider, and wider, and stopped.

  Nothing happened.

  Red dots vanished in droves as missiles shattered into dust clouds above the surface. Plasma streaks slammed into a transparent barrier encompassing the planet, dissipating thei
r energy into harmless dances of green light. Rippers disintegrated on impact, showering their particle remnants over the landscape. Those lucky enough to avoid a dusty fate retreated to their respective battlecruisers to regroup.

  A stunned silence fell upon the control bridge as Lord Essien stared at the unscathed planet in wide-eyed disbelief. The hologram grid of cruiser captains grumbled with nervy confusion. Varokin minions shot bewildered glances at each other, then to Lord Essien, then to the planet, then back to each other. All eyes turned to the planet surface as faint orange glows arose from the cavern depths. Moments later, thousands upon thousands of white exhaust trails lifted from the caves as legions of missiles screamed towards their targets.

  Essien’s jaw dropped. “Fuck.”

  * * *

  Halim bounced and clapped his hands as the barrage of missiles tore Lord Essien’s armada to shreds. The group stood around a large hologram projection of the planet, cast from the ceiling into the open air above the floor. It bathed the group in a yellow sheen as they studied the countless icons swirling around the surface. Red triangles represented battlecruisers while orange circles identified Rippers. White dots had denoted the plasma and missile strikes before the planetary defense system rendered them futile. Blue dots revealed the counter-assault, rising from the hologram sphere like a flower shedding pollen. Red and orange icons disappeared in waves as the swarm of blue dots hunted them down, much to the delight of a giddy Halim. He threw his arms up and cheered as the final red triangle blipped out of existence.

  “A total success!” Halim said.

  Perra placed a hand over her mouth and glanced at Zoey, who stood motionless with her arms crossed. Max studied the holographic annihilation with the tilted head of a puzzled dog. Ross radiated his usual indifference, batting at whatever icon floated into his vicinity. Bursting with pride and glee, Halim pranced over to the control panel wall. A few swift taps summoned Nifan, using multiple panels to create a larger image.