Max and the Multiverse, #1

by Zachry Wheeler

  “Greetings, Master Halim. I trust the news is good?”

  “Utter destruction, Madam Nifan. Every ship destroyed, every blast contained, every missile reduced to dust. And, might I add, all without a single blemish to the planet. I am happy to confirm that my planetary defense system worked perfectly, as expected.”

  Nifan grinned. “Very impressive. You are a true gem, Master Halim.”

  “I also extend my deepest gratitude for allowing me the opportunity to test it properly.”

  “You are most welcome, and I will see to it personally that you are handsomely rewarded for your effort. And please pass along my regards to our esteemed guests.”

  “I will, Madam Nifan. A good day to you.”

  “And to you as well.” Nifan offered a slight bow before the transmission ended.

  Halim sighed with contentment. “Madam Nifan would like to thank you—” he said, turning to face the group, but found the open barrel of Zoey’s plasma gun.

  She pulled the trigger.

  The ear-splitting blast incinerated his head and carved a large black crater into the wall behind him. Rumbles of impact echoed around the chamber and jostled the floor beneath their feet. Shards of charred electronics scattered themselves across the room. Machine parts rattled upon the tables and fell to the floor. Lighting panels flickered as static charges snaked across a mangled mess of exposed wiring. Smoke enveloped the immediate area and dissipated into the flowing air vents. Halim’s headless body and cauterized neck fell forward and slapped the tile at Zoey’s feet. She took a gratified breath, lowered her weapon, and turned her attention to the group. Perra and Max stood frozen with contrasting expressions of horror. Ross trembled where he stood as a poofed ball of orange fur.

  Zoey shrugged. “What? You do know that was Halim, right?”

  Max placed a hand over his heart and lowered to a knee.

  Perra regained her composure and swiped some debris from her shoulder. “Yeah, but that was a bit cavalier, don’t you think?”

  “That was badass,” Ross said, still poofed and shaking.

  “I think the cat’s in shock,” Zoey said.

  “Can you blame him?” Max said, completing his slow descent to the floor. “You went all Trinity on us. You could have at least warned us with a ‘dodge this’ or something.”

  “Who?” Perra said.

  “I’ll explain later,” Max said. “Right now I need to get my heart back down to a billion beats a minute.”

  “Bad ... ass ...” Ross fell to his knees and thumped face-first onto the floor.

  “Kitty down,” Max said, assuming zero responsibility.

  “You’re all a bunch of babies,” Zoey said.

  She nabbed a pair of pliers from Halim’s pocket and stepped over to the control panel wall. With the thrust of an elbow, she shattered the glass compartment containing the cylinder. She reached inside with the pliers, plucked it from the brackets, and walked it over to the incinerator. A flick of the wrist cast the cylinder into oblivion, resulting in a brief orange glow. Zoey smirked at the sight, signaling an official end to their perilous quest. Strolling up from behind, Perra dropped her chin on Zoey’s shoulder and hugged her waist. Zoey leaned her head against Perra’s and stroked her cheek, evoking a pair of contented smiles as they stared down into the chute.

  “Love you,” Perra said in a soft voice.

  “Love you too.”

  “Can we go now?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Perra kissed Zoey’s cheek and released her grip. They turned to their companions, still recovering on the floor in various positions of distress.

  “I’ll get the cat,” Perra said and lumbered forward.

  * * *

  The tiny freighter lifted over the rim of a giant cave entrance, bringing Hollow Hold’s sun-drenched landscape into full view. A wave of natural light squinted eyes and warmed skins. Chunks of the ravaged assault fleet burned up in the atmosphere, creating a twinkling rain. Numerous ships engaged their thrusters and floated into the cavern depths, returning home after receiving word of the battle victory. Zoey reached across the control panel and took Perra’s hand, who returned a loving smile.

  “If this whole experience has taught me anything,” Zoey said while scanning the jagged landscape, “it’s that I never want to see this rancid shitbox ever again.”

  “Agreed,” Perra said.

  “Ditto,” Max said.

  “I dunno, the core was nice,” Ross said.

  Max punched his thigh, prompting a brief slap fight with grunts and hisses.

  “Children!” Zoey said.

  Max and Ross settled down and glared at each other.

  “On that note, let’s get the hell out of here,” Perra said.

  “With pleasure.”

  Zoey slid an open palm up the console, igniting the main engines. The ship rumbled into the sky, punched through the atmosphere, and sailed into the blackness of space.

  “Coordinates set?” Zoey said.

  “Locked and loaded,” Perra said.

  “Where are we going?” Max said.

  “Anywhere but here.” Zoey slapped the jump drive icon, enveloping the ship in a sliver of purple light.

  * * *

  A small, silvery capsule floated nearby, hanging above the Hollow Hold horizon like a crippled satellite. Its egg-shaped hull reflected the flash of the freighter’s departure. Inside the one-man escape pod, Lord Essien faced Jai Ferenhal, who still wore his pink tutu and matching onesie. Essien squirmed inside the cramped compartment, trying to gain some wiggle room. She groaned with frustration and headbutted Jai in the chest. He dropped his meaty chin and scowled at her, lobbing hateful insults without saying a word. Essien heaved and writhed before pausing to examine a peculiar odor. Her face crumpled with disgust as she glared up at Jai.

  “You’re such an asshole.”

  CHAPTER 18

  Max awoke to the rattling purr of a furry mound atop his chest. Contented breaths flowed through his nostrils as sleepy eyes scanned the dim bedchamber. He lifted a hand off the covers and stroked Ross’s back, prompting a grumpy moan and some invasive stretching. Max shifted his head from side to side to avoid the invading paws, but ended up with a mouthful of fur anyway. Ross retracted his wayward limbs and rewrapped them into a fuzzy pile. Max grimaced and spat out a few hairs.

  “Good to have you back, buddy,” Max said.

  “From what?” Ross said, half asleep.

  “Nevermind.” Max yawned and smacked his lips. His stomach grumbled, signaling a long-neglected need. “I guess it’s been a while. You hungry?”

  “I don’t need to eat, jackass.”

  “But you do eat.”

  “That doesn’t mean I get hungry.”

  “So how do you know when you need to eat?”

  “I just told you that I don’t need to eat.”

  “Oh. But ... hmm.”

  Ross tilted his head and glared at Max. “Are you having another episode? Do I need to seek shelter?”

  “No, I’m fine. Just a little groggy, I guess.” Max reached into the crisp, cool air and cupped his hands behind his head. The stillness of the room allowed his mind to wander. He replayed the events of the previous days, retracing the fantastical journey from Earth to Europa, from Andromeda to Hollow Hold. A wide smile puckered his cheeks. “That was an interesting adventure.”

  “Mmhmm.”

  Max dropped his chin and frowned at Ross. “That’s your entire summation?”

  “What do you want me to say? That it was a life-changing experience full of magic, wonder, and blah blah blah?”

  “Was it not?”

  Ross cocked his ears. “Where is this going?”

  Max rolled his eyes. “Nowhere, apparently. Forget about it, Garfield.”

  “That’s racist.”

  Max chuckled, then scooped the feline with both hands and set him aside. Ross lifted into an arched stretch, greeting the day as every cat does. Max whipped the cov
ers away and swung his legs out from the bed. His bare feet pressed into the cold metal floor, prompting an involuntary shiver.

  “Denchi.”

  Strips of LEDs responded to the command, illuminating the gray interior. Max dropped his face into both hands and rubbed his tired eyes. A grunting stretch left him limp and ready for whatever the day threw at him. He turned his attention to the rear wall.

  “What’s that transparency command?”

  “Um ... fikarek,” Ross said.

  The wall replaced itself with a bright cityscape, pouring the combined light of three small suns into the cabin. Max cringed and lifted a hand to block the light while his eyes adjusted.

  “Oh, uh, what’s the word ...” Ross said. “Nuicha.”

  The wall dimmed a bit as if the room had donned a pair of sunglasses. Max lowered his arm, allowing his bewildered eyes to digest the alien landscape. The tiny freighter had settled upon a row of landing platforms, all stony gray with yellow safety rails. Immaculate ships with burnished hulls rested on the pads, featuring sleek designs and elaborate detailing, the spacefaring equivalent of luxury yachts. Each platform connected to an enormous gangway that led into the city. Countless humanoids plodded down the promenade in every direction. Some dressed in trendy attire while others made use of natural attire. The white hulls of shuttles raced overhead, transporting their occupants to parts unknown. Glittering towers punched through the cloudbank. Their silvery sidings reflected the cool blues of the atmosphere, rendering them ethereal. Three looming suns bathed the city in a radiant light that reminded Max of home.

  “Where are we?” Max said.

  “Don’t know exactly,” Ross said. “Somewhere inside Andromeda.”

  “Wow.” He huffed and shook his head. “And to think we were sitting on Earth a few days ago.”

  “Do you miss it?”

  “I, um ... I don’t really know.”

  Ross smirked.

  Max sighed and bowed his head. “I had a dream last night. Nothing interesting, just some mundane crap back on Earth, but it made me realize something. Over the last several days, we have seen and done some crazy shit. If I had known what we were getting ourselves into, I would have never left the basement.” He lifted a solemn gaze and stared at his muddied reflection on the wall. “And that’s the big damn shame of it all. I would have stayed. I wanted out, more than anything in the world, but I would have stayed.”

  “And yet, here we are.”

  Max grinned and nodded. “And here we are. Funny thing is, despite all the stress and chaos, I’ve never felt so at peace. I think I’m happy, truly happy, for the first time in my life.” He turned to Ross. “You’ve been my only real friend over the last decade. To be honest, I can’t think of a single person I actually miss. I’ve known Zoey and Perra for less than a week, and I care more about them than I do my own joyless family. That’s when it hit me. I never really had a family until now.”

  Ross snapped out of a boredom trance. “I’m sorry, what? I was thinking about bacon.”

  Max chuckled. “Nothing, forget about it.”

  He lifted from the bed, spruced himself up, and slipped into a clean set of clothes. Refreshed, and with an empty stomach in desperate need of attention, Max opened the cabin door and entered the cargo bay. He scanned the room and marveled at the cleanliness; every surface scrubbed and polished, every net and container restored to its proper position.

  “Hey there, sleepyhead,” Perra said as she hung a tool inside a locker. Also refreshed, she wore a clean set of punky attire, complete with purple corset, bronze leather straps, and gunmetal buckles atop a cropped leather skirt. Her worn boots clanked on the clean floor as she walked over to greet him.

  “Hey, yourself,” Max said as they embraced.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Okay, I guess. Can’t believe I slept through entry.”

  “I can, considering what we went through. You passed out hard, my friend.”

  “I guess I needed it.” Max rubbed his neck. “So where are we?”

  “Marcoza, a neutral planet deep in the heart of Andromeda. It’s also the headquarters for the Council of Loken peacekeepers. Zoey is over there right now filing a report on our escapade. Should be back any tick. Oh, and if you’re hungry, we picked up a load of fresh rations. They’re in the back whenever you’re ready.”

  “Oh thank goodness, you read my mind.”

  “I’ve already eaten, so dig right in.”

  “Morning,” Ross said as he trotted into the bay.

  Perra kneeled down and scratched his head. “And a good morning to you too.”

  Ross purred for a moment, then launched into a spontaneous grooming session.

  Max strolled to the rear of the cargo bay where a bundle of cloth bags and cardboard boxes housed an impressive amount of eating options. His mouth began to salivate as his eyes surveyed the bounty; colorful fruits and vegetables, an array of cured meats, cans of mystery items, and bottles of cloudy liquids. He nabbed a squishy purple fruit resting on top, its skin covered in small bumps and a dense brown fuzz. Having no idea what constituted proper consumption, he shrugged and bit into the flesh. His eyelids collapsed under the weight of ecstasy as sweet yellow nectar dripped into his hand. “Holy mother of mayhem, that’s incredible.” He devoured the decadent fruit, licked his hand clean, and continued his sampling fiesta. Strips of this, handfuls of that, just a ravenous glutton indulging in a well-earned bout of hedonism.

  Stuffed and satisfied beyond words, Max shuffled through the cargo bay while licking his fingertips. The airlock door slid open as he neared the cockpit, revealing a gorgeous Zoey in a striking black suit. Her choppy black hair flowed to one side under a sheen of product. The gray pinstripes of her jacket and slacks fell to an elegant pair of strappy shoes. The image caught Max by surprise, his eyes drinking her body from head to toe with a finger still inside his mouth.

  “That’s not creepy at all,” Zoey said as she stepped inside.

  “Oh, sorry,” Max said, averting his eyes. “You just look, well, stunning.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Not that you didn’t before, or anything. You know.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Because you did. Not that I looked. Don’t want you to think that I, well, yeah.”

  Zoey narrowed her eyes.

  Max scratched his head and glanced away. “Is this the tweak?”

  “The what?”

  “The, um ... thing.” (It wasn’t. A local flower had become hilariously carnivorous.)

  “Okay, you can stop now.”

  “Fair enough.” Max leaned down to pet the cat.

  Ross jerked away. “Piss off, muppet. I’m not a life raft for your social ineptitude.”

  “Fine.” Max stood with his arms raised. “I’ll just get myself another weirdly delicious hair-fruit.”

  Zoey snickered as Max clanked away.

  Perra emerged from the cockpit. “So how’d it go?”

  “Pretty well, actually. They were sympathetic to the plight, commended us for our bravery and such. Apart from that, just a bunch of bureaucratic questioning. Major players, timeline, ship codes, favorite color, all that crap. The big takeaway is that we have no liability. We are free to go about our business.”

  “Excellent. And for the record, you do look stunning in that suit.” Perra winked.

  Zoey smirked in reply. “Speaking of business, the PCDS gave us another package to deliver.” She lifted a square box about the same size as before.

  Perra recoiled a bit.

  “Don’t worry,” Zoey said. “I already asked. It’s a bunch of rare stones for a specialized jeweler out in Ursa Major.”

  “That we can do,” Perra said, then leaned in for a kiss.

  Max returned while munching on a piece of fuzzy fruit. Zoey and Perra smiled at each other and turned to the human.

  “Earth is on the way to Ursa Major,” Zoey said. “We can drop you off. Or, you can stay here on Ma
rcoza and catch a jump shuttle. Your choice.”

  Max paused for thought, but kept chewing.

  “Or ...” Perra said, taking Zoey’s hand, “you can stick around and be my grease monkey protégé. To be honest, we could use the extra hand.”

  Max ruffled his brow and strolled to the open airlock. He leaned on the frame, took another bite, and studied the colorful creatures tromping along the gangway. A fog of foreign aromas teased his nostrils, drawing a cheeky grin. His gaze climbed the shimmering towers and wandered through the cloudbank. Max chuckled to himself as a transport shuttle sailed overhead.

  “Ross, what do you th—”

  “Don’t care,” Ross said while licking his extended leg.

  “Then it’s settled.” Max slapped the wall panel and the airlock door slid shut. “We got a package to deliver.”

  THE END

  The story continues with:

  Max and the Snoodlecock

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Zachry Wheeler is an award-winning science fiction novelist, screenwriter, and coffee slayer. He enjoys English football, stand-up comedy, and is known to lurk around museums and brewpubs.

  Learn more at ZachryWheeler.com

  ADDITIONAL WORKS

  Puki Horpocket Presents

  Roy: The Most Chaotic Midlife Crisis in Cosmic History

  Max and the Multiverse Series

  Max and the Multiverse

  Max and the Snoodlecock

  Max and the Banjo Ferret

  Max and the Multiverse Shorts

  The Item of Monumental Importance

  Nibblenom Deathtrap