My Wolf and me

by Adams, India R

  This repeated until seven mean wolves, including Maximus, stood waiting for the last lever to be pulled. They waited to enter the cage that Romy and I were in.

  Well played, Boss. Well played.

  Chapter Nineteen:

  Final Loss

  My heart pounded so loudly, I couldn’t say whether the other wolves were reacting, or whether or not our new family was trying to help us. Romy stood in front of me, viciously growling at the wolves anxiously waiting to join us. As powerful as my wolf was, I was sure we were facing our demise.

  Boss said, “Don’t kill her. Just change her. The wolf? Tear him to shreds.”

  The wolves facing Romy and me paced, as if dying to get this fight started. They already knew I had been inherited and didn’t seem to care. I guessed that was because Maximus’s true goal wasn’t to use us as Zeus had thought, it was to kill us.

  Even under the floodlights, I could feel the moon shining on me, feeding me. My ears began to ring. Everything around me swayed in and out of focus. I stumbled and collided into Romy, as if on a moving ship. My legs tried to hold me up as all the cells inside me began to shift, realign, reorganize and guide me to be… reborn.

  It felt like falling peacefully through clouds as I began my fall to the ground. It felt like heaven caught me as Sebastian’s arms came around me, controlling my descent. He placed me gently to the cold ground and, over and over, whispered, “Embrace your calling. Embrace your calling. Embrace your calling…”

  The words were like an unseen map for the final step that I had to take, a final message before surrendering to an unknown.

  I did just that. I surrendered.

  The pain Romy had experienced with his transition was not for me to endure. I slipped effortlessly and elegantly into the magical being I would be until the day the source decided. When my eyes opened, it was as if I was looking through a new pair of eyes.

  I guess I was.

  I heard Boss screaming, “No!” in the background while I took to my paws for the very first time. Surprise, asshole.

  I expected to be unsteady, like Romy had when he first became Sebastian, but that was not how I felt. I felt sturdy as the boulders I used to play on as a child. I felt solid. I felt whole. I honored my need to shake my newfound fur, and it was a freeing act. I looked at my paws and saw white, but it was not the snow I was seeing—it was me. I was a magnificent white wolf. My head rose to see a naked Sebastian fall to his knees in bewilderment. “You’re beautiful, Marley. Your blue eyes…”

  He was entranced in human form, in such awe that he never heard the gate rise behind him. A purely natural, territorial instinct had me leaping over my true soul mate to stop the first wolf coming to attack him from behind. My mother had been ripped from my life, and my father had been stolen. No one, wolf or man, was taking Romy from me.

  It was incredible to feel my body react in another form. I had just been a human and was now effortlessly leaping through the air after being on all fours. My new self reacted as a highly efficient, programmed machine. My wolf form knew exactly how to soar toward her target, as if I had practiced this action many times before. That was when I realized: I had not, but Romy had. The white wolf I had become was truly part of Romy and his essence. Once again, he was guiding me into the unknown.

  Easily, my canines homed in and sank through fur, flesh, then to bone. The fur mingled with my tongue while unfamiliar scents filled my brain with information: what wolf I was biting, where he had been and who he’d been with. With so much racing through my mind, I was surprised it wasn’t impossible to complete the task at hand.

  The hardness of the bone between my canines only made my jaw insist on pressing down harder, until I heard a crack of its surrender to the pressure. The taste that filled my mouth told me I had executed a life-threatening injury. I may not have killed this animal at that very moment. But the history lesson my new taste buds somehow already knew told me this wolf—in time—would eventually die. An injury such as this one would prevent this wolf from defending himself in the woods.

  The first bite I received was nothing like the gentle one Romy gave to inherit me. This one showed the power behind such intense animals. I expected to feel my own bone give way, but was not subjected to such torture. Sebastian had become Romy, and Romy had become my savior. The wolf was pulled from my back and flung into the air to the front of the cage to face the wrath of Romy. And wrath it was.

  With me clearly being the lesser threat, four of the remaining wolves simultaneously turned on Romy. I watched in disbelief as they brutally attacked him. I tried to intervene but was stopped when another set of powerful jaws clamped down around the back of my neck, pulling me to the back of my father’s prison.

  Every struggle I attempted ended with me injuring myself further. Since he was not proceeding in his attack on me, it became apparent that the one holding me had other plans. I was forced to wait and witness Romy cry out with every bite he received. That was when I noticed the scene taking place behind Romy. I only looked away from Romy for a few seconds, but I saw and heard so much. Alarms blared, Boss yelled orders, and guns were being nervously aimed at free wolves, cages completely dismantled.

  A wolf attempted to take down a guard but was unsuccessful. My heart cried for the wolf as he was shot in mid-flight, but then my heart found hope as Zeus appeared right behind the fallen wolf, leaping into the air. Zeus flew until his body crashed into the unprepared guard, sending him plummeting to the ground. His teeth snapped down on human flesh with precision. The guard didn’t stand a chance against the expert attack.

  More wolves ran toward bullets with a bravery I’d never witnessed before. The newer wolves showed impressive signs of the essence they’d inherited from Zeus.

  Romy, on the other hand, was trapped in the cage with me. There were no friendly wolves to help with the wolves attacking him, but he no longer cried out with each bite because no more bites were being given. His absolute lineage, his dominating size, and his determination were being tested, a test he refused to fail—did not seem capable of failing.

  Watching Romy attack, I realized he positively had no equal. I hadn’t comprehended that his heart and soul were designed to lead until that very moment. I had just believed Romy was simply special and had a beautiful way of viewing life. Now I saw that Romy guarding my home, his home, was a result of his natural, deep-rooted instinct shining through. And this instinct was falling in line with the responsibilities he, unknowingly, was born with. Romy’s body was designed to protect his pack by ferociously killing any threat.

  A crushing blow from Romy’s front paw took one of his attackers down, and then he quickly bit and broke the lesser wolf’s neck. The wolf holding me with his canines began to tremble as we both witnessed the massacre.

  Outside our cage, wolves began to take the upper hand, killing the humans that had been so cruel to them. Boss was bloody and slumped over, leaning against the cages he had forced us to endure.

  On the inside of our prison, one by one, the remaining wolves met the same fate as the last and were violently killed by Romy. Looking at all the dead wolves lying on the ground, I realized who I didn’t see. When Romy slowly faced me, his menacing body language told me he also knew who had me in his jaws. Maximus.

  Romy had blood dripping from most parts of his body, some his own, mostly others’. His huge canines were completely exposed while his lips curled. The warning Romy executed was scary enough, but when John appeared behind him, unlocking our cage, fear was the least of Maximus’s problems. Zeus, Agatha, and what I presumed and sensed to be the four other originals entered, standing proudly with their leader. The rest of the wolves respectfully circled the entrance but were not interfering in this family matter.

  With no other option and knowing he was at the end of the revenge he had lived for, I believed Maximus chose to take one more victim
before his ultimate surrender.

  When his jaws tightened, causing irreversible damage to my neck and my breathing to cease, I transformed into my human form. In the midst of the confusion of what was happening to me, I was thankful that Sebastian and I’d had a few stolen moments to express our love and to say our goodbyes. My eyes bored into Romy’s, pleading with him to live on and lead the werewolves after my passing. My tears were not shed for me or the losses I had tragically experienced in the recent days. They were for the beautiful grays that were refusing to let me go.

  Time may have stopped or shifted into another reality as Maximus was charged. Seven wolves besieged him, and I was on the ground, within close quarters of being trampled. Maximus gave a hell of a fight, preoccupying the wolves trying to save my life. I pulled myself forward out of the chaos with my shaky arms.

  I could feel my gift, the essence Romy had inherited me with, leaving my body. It made me hysterical. My heart bled for the final loss I was about to suffer. Wanting to respect all that Romy and Sebastian had ever been in my life, I clawed at the ground to escape the horrid captivity so that my final loss would not be shared with the darkness that consumed my parents.

  John’s black leather boots appeared before my eyes. I looked up at him and cried out for mercy. “Get me out of this fucking cage! Please don’t let my last moments be in this confinement!” My body was lifted and moved, as I cried, “I don’t want to lose him in that hell.”

  Gently, John laid me on the ground, covering my naked body with his jacket as Maximus howled out his final cry. I grabbed at my bleeding wounds, trying desperately to contain the last ounces of Romy’s essence inside me.

  When Sebastian appeared at my side, Zeus was speaking in his ear. I hoped he was sharing supportive words. I was thankful that Sebastian would have Zeus and his found family to help him survive losing me.

  I reached to touch Sebastian’s beauty one more time, just like his mother had, and my mother had with me. His hand held mine to his face as he kissed my palm, inhaling me for the last time. His smile was kind and gentle when he whispered, “Heal.”

  Tears fell to the ground as I admired his unrelenting courage. Through overwhelming sadness, I told him, “I wish I could… I love you… Forever, Sebastian.”

  With a dignified, prideful smile, Sebastian nodded, kissing my hand one last time. Then he spoke remarkable words. “I am your alpha, and I’m commanding you to transform and heal.”

  Without my permission, my human body conformed and became a wolf. And then…

  The flame’s shadows dance across my face as I watch our fallen burn in the fire we set. Ashes of their remains float up into the cold winter wind, never to be seen again. My feet are in snow that no longer feels cold to me, nor does the evening air.

  Now, memories of the love that withstood the test of time and brought me here grace me as the flame’s shadows dance across my face and show me I’m to have no regrets. Sebastian is right. We are not alone, and all this, even this loss and heartache, has purpose. Events causing violent shifts were created to make my heart one of the strongest. I stand proudly and wisely to the fact that I’m meant, in this very moment, in this very place, to bring change and understanding.

  That’s life: many levels of emotions, confusions, violence, needs…and feelings.

  Love.

  This knowledge has me feeling a sense of pride that I have never experienced before. An unbelievable kinship is forming with the wolves that surround me. Their fur blows in the cold wind as my father’s body finds freedom in this night’s fire.

  I once read, “Life is not your right, it is your gift.”

  I promise, here and now, to always remember and treasure the gift that has been bestowed upon me. Because now I’m a wolf and have learned the cruel lesson of what can happen when fear owns mankind, when love for other beings is forgotten, and when respect for all life is not given.

  “So we will meet with you in two weeks?” Sebastian asks John, the guard I will never forget.

  I continue to stare into the fire as John answers, “Yes, after I retrieve Boss’s son, I will meet you. I hope I’m doing the right thing.”

  Zeus had explained to us how Boss’s son was born human because his mother was one. He also explained that this innocent boy would be transforming into his new form around the same age that Romy became Sebastian. Eleven or so. John told us the child is now ten.

  Finally, my trance breaks to assure John of the importance of what I had asked him to do. “There is an innocent child out there, and he is one of us. No matter who his father was, he deserves a chance, and we’re the only chance he has.”

  John looks at the ground. “I can’t return, not after kidnapping a child.”

  Zeus touches John’s shoulder. “It would be an honor to call you brother.”

  John deeply inhales and nods, knowing he will soon be the Lycan he was trained to hate. Boss’s mysterious millions of dollars could only reach so far and create only so much destruction until God, the source, once again found balance.

  Sebastian, holding my hand, kisses me deeply, telling me it is time.

  My white fur blends with the snow and is accented by Romy’s dark-gray fur.

  One by one, wolves turn from the fire and into the night to begin the journey through wintery mountains, until we reach Canada and the rest of our family. Turning away from the flames feels like I’m leaving my old life behind. I guess I am. I allow my heart to rest with the knowledge that someday I will be with my parents again. God will make sure of it. Until then, we head into the night—my wolf and me.

  Epilogue:

  “Thank you”

  Jimmy watched as Trevor hung yet another ‘missing’ poster. Guilt was eating him alive because his tracking gifts failed him during his most important search ever. After they had not heard from Marlena and no one had answered her phone, Trevor and Jimmy were the first to find Amelia’s body. Police searched but came up with nothing but dead ends. Marlena, her father, and her wolf, Romy, had simply disappeared.

  “Maybe we should tell them the truth,” Jimmy suggested.

  Trevor turned to his friend on the sidewalk. “Hound, and say what? We want a first-class trip to the loony bin?”

  Jimmy knew Trevor was right. How would they explain what they saw—what they knew? They couldn’t, so they didn’t.

  “I’m sorry,” Jimmy quietly said.

  Trevor put his staple gun in his other hand that was carrying posters and put his arm around his childhood friend. They walked toward Jimmy’s truck. “The snow, Hound. Too much snow kept falling for you to keep that trail.”

  “But I was so close!”

  “I know. It will haunt us both for the rest of our lives if we don’t find her.”

  That thought spooked both young men. Not knowing what had happened to their best friend was something they would never get over, and that was why they searched and hung posters from town to town for two weeks. The media was forgetting about their missing friend, but Trevor and Jimmy would never have that luxury.

  Trevor thought about the endless miles he and Jimmy had put on the little beat-up truck and how home didn’t feel like home without her. Memories of Marlena were hauntingly everywhere as they passed through their hometown. Once through the last stop sign and almost home, Trevor leaned his forehead on the passenger window, anxious for a hot shower and a cold beer. Even beer reminded him of Marlena and Sebastian.

  Before closing his eyes to shut out the constant memories, he yelled, “Stop!”

  Jimmy slammed on the brakes and saw what Trevor was yelling about. Across an open field, Romy stood on the rim of the forest, watching them. Both young men jumped from the vehicle, ready to run and cross the field to reach the wolf, but stopped when they saw that Romy was alone. Romy being alone spoke of Trevor and Jimmy’s worst fear: Marlena
was gone. Both young men were unable to move as they stared helplessly at the gray wolf nervously watching them.

  When Romy became a little restless, anxiously looking beyond the young men, Trevor and Jimmy both quickly glanced behind them. Seeing no one nearby but knowing Romy could probably hear someone coming, they raised their hands, begging. “No!”

  “Please don’t go—”

  “We have to know—”

  Trevor composed himself. “I don’t know what happened to you, Romy, and you’re probably scared and want to run, but,” he whispered, knowing Romy could hear him, even with the distance between them, “is she—” Trevor couldn’t complete the worst question in the world.

  Jimmy choked out, “Alive?”

  Romy searched behind the young men for danger, again then finally looked behind him into the woods where Trevor and Jimmy couldn’t see. Waiting for Romy’s reply was the longest moment of their lives.

  Then the most beautiful white wolf with impossible blue eyes stepped from behind Romy. Trevor and Jimmy were stunned, wondering if it was possible. She was whimpering, wanting to hug her oldest friends.

  Jimmy hesitantly whispered, “Mar-cakes?”

  The white wolf barked twice.

  Both boys went weak, falling into each other. Marlena was alive. They stumbled forward, needing to touch her, but a menacing growl warned them. Marlena nudged her aggressive wolf until he calmed.

  Surrendering to the fact that Romy was scared for their girl, Trevor didn’t attempt an approach but said, “We laid your mama to rest. She’s okay.”

  Marlena whimpered again but was quickly soothed by Romy’s nuzzling.

  “I put flowers on her gravesite yesterday,” Jimmy promised.