HAWK (Lords of Carnage MC)

by Daphne Loveling

  “I promise,” I say immediately.

  Even though I didn’t want to be confined to the clubhouse twenty-four hours a day, I end up spending most of the morning here anyway. Truth be told, I’m a little nervous to go outside by myself. But eventually, I’m going to have to face the fact that I have things to do. Today is the day I’m supposed to meet Annika and her fiancé Justin for their engagement photo shoot. I need to go home and grab my equipment and pack some things for staying here the next few days.

  Jenna stays with me until it’s time to for me to go. I ask her if she’d mind driving me to the carriage house so I can go pick up my car. She drops me off in front of Gram’s house, after giving me a hug and telling me to call her if I need anything. I decide to go through the main house instead of around the walkway to the back. I want to see Gram, just to make absolutely sure she’s okay — even though I know there’s probably nothing to worry about.

  I find my grandmother upstairs in her bedroom suite, sitting on her favorite love seat and reading a novel, with Mary Jane at her feet. Her silver tea set is in front of her on the low coffee table, a half-drunk cup languishing on a saucer.

  “Come sit with me for a bit, Samantha,” she says when I appear in the doorway. “I haven’t seen much of you lately.”

  It’s true. Despite my promise to myself that I’d try to spend more time with her, I’ve been so busy — and let’s face it, preoccupied with Hawk — that I haven’t really done a very good job of being a better granddaughter. I cross the room and sit in the comfortable chair to the right of her.

  “Would you like some tea?” she asks. “I can ask Lourdes to bring up another cup.”

  “No thanks, I’m just fine,” I say with a smile. “What are you reading?”

  “Oh, just some trashy novel,” she says dismissively. “It’s about a duke or a baron or something, who falls in love with the daughter of his sworn enemy. Honestly, I don’t know why I’ve bothered reading this far.”

  I suppress a smile. Somehow, I kind of love the fact that I’ve caught my formidable grandmother reading a romance novel.

  “I’ve not seen you around very much lately, Samantha,” Gram says. There’s something in her tone I can’t quite read, and I’m afraid she’s going to start criticizing me. The last thing I want to do today is fight with her, so I turn the conversation to something I’m hoping will make her at least somewhat happy.

  “Well,” I begin, “I’ve actually been really busy with a bunch of new clients. In fact, I’m getting so much new business that I’m going to be looking into renting a space downtown and turning it into a photography studio. I need a space to do indoor photos, and I’ve gotten enough inquiries about things like senior pictures and family portraits that I’m pretty sure I’ll easily be able to afford it.”

  I stop talking, and wait for Gram to start picking apart my idea. But instead, she’s still for a moment, and then nods.

  “Congratulations, Samantha. That’s wonderful news.” She gives me a small smile.

  I’m so astonished that I can’t help but gape at her, but if she notices she doesn’t show it.

  “I hope that means that you have plans to stay in Tanner Springs,” she continues, and takes a sip of her tea. She seems suddenly very absorbed in the bottom of her cup.

  “Uh, yes,” I stammer. “I think so. For a while, anyway. Business is good, and I like it here.”

  She nods again. “Good, good.” She sets down her cup again, then clears her throat.

  “You know, Samantha,” she begins carefully, “I did think about what you said regarding the… plumber you brought in to fix the kitchen sink.”

  I tense immediately. Gram and I haven’t discussed this at all since the day she was so rude to Hawk. I brace myself for whatever’s coming.

  “You were right,” she concedes. “I was rude. It’s just that I was surprised to have… an unknown person… in my kitchen. His appearance was… a bit jarring.” She looks at me. “I apologize.”

  Is there something funny in that tea? I wonder briefly. “Well… thank you,” I say uncertainly.

  “I recognize that perhaps I was too hasty to judge the young man on appearances. Though,” she says, sniffing, “I can’t say I approve of that death trap he rides around on.”

  I smile in spite of myself. “I’m sure he’d take that under advisement, Gram,” I tell her.

  “Yes. Well. Speaking of which,” she continues. “I’ve happened to notice the same plumber at the door to the carriage house on more than one occasion.”

  Oh, no, here it comes, I think with an inner groan.

  “He’s not a plumber, Gram,” I say quietly, and wait for the storm to hit.

  “No. I assumed he hadn’t been coming to see you to fix the sink in your kitchen,” she says with a dry smile.

  I feel like a thirteen year-old who’s been caught necking in her parents’ basement. “Gram,” I begin, and then stop, not sure whether I should apologize or try to defend myself.

  “I hadn’t realized that the two of you were an item,” she murmurs. “You are, aren’t you? An item?”

  It’s as good a word as any. I resist the urge to laugh at such a quaint word used to describe what’s happening between Hawk and me. “Yes, I guess you could say that,” I agree carefully.

  “I’m not sure whether I ever told you about Richard,” she says next. “He and I were an item. After your grandfather.”

  I risk an admission. “RuthEllen Hanson mentioned him to me once. At the library fundraiser.”

  Gram’s eyes flick to me in surprise. For a moment I’m afraid I’ve said too much, and that she’ll stop talking. But she doesn’t.

  “I met him many years after your grandfather’s death. Richard was a Vietnam veteran. And a professional gambler. Not long after we met, he confessed to me that he had a prison record. From the years after he got back from the war.” She looks at me. “I’m sure that when the fine people of Tanner Springs first saw the widow of George Jennings on the arm of a bearded, rough-looking stranger, the gossip was flying.” She takes a breath and then lets out a small sigh. “But I loved him. And he me.” She pauses. “And unlike my dear departed husband, he never once cheated on me. Nor threatened to strike me.” Her eyes glisten. “He was the kindest, gentlest, most loving man a woman could have asked for. I only had Richard for a few years, but every minute was precious to me.”

  My hand goes to my mouth as I listen to her words. I can hardly believe what she’s telling me. For a moment neither of us speaks.

  I clear my throat. It’s time for a confession of my own. “Did I ever tell you that when you wrote and asked me to come to Tanner Springs, I had just broken off my engagement with a man who was cheating on me?” I ask her.

  Gram chuckles softly and shakes her head. “Perhaps poor judgment in marriages runs in the family. Your own poor mother made a similarly bad choice in your father, I’m sorry to say.”

  Hearing her talk this way about her own son makes me sad for her, but I can’t deny she’s right.

  “Well,” I say carefully, “it sounds like eventually you got it right.” I hesitate for a moment, then reach over and take her hand in mine.

  She nods and squeezes it. “Perhaps you have, as well.”

  31

  Hawk

  “This drive-by can only be the Spiders,” Brick is saying during church. He looks around the room. “We’ve been waiting for them to strike ever since we took back what was ours.”

  “How the fuck did they choose Hawk as their target?” Angel asks angrily. “Why him?”

  Ghost explains his theory that someone from the Spiders must have tailed us on the way back from the Lakeshore. Around the table, the men nod and frown, considering this.

  “We’ve gotta nip this shit in the bud,” Angel barks. “Now that they’ve put a shot across the bow, they’re only gonna keep escalating shit until someone gets killed.”

  “Well, let’s make sure it’s one of theirs instead of one
of ours,” Gunner retorts.

  “Police are already sniffing around the house,” I tell the brothers. “The neighbors must have called them, of course. This isn’t gonna be good for the club. Holloway’s getting his ‘crime problem’, and you know he’s gonna try and capitalize on it unless we can stop this shit, now.”

  Eyes look to Rock. He’s sitting motionless, lost in thought. He doesn’t say anything for so long that eventually a couple of the brothers start to clear their throats. Finally, he opens his mouth.

  “Eventually, we may need to take out the head.”

  The head. The president of the Spiders.

  He calls himself Black.

  I’ve never seen him, and I don’t know anyone who has.

  But as I sit there contemplating his words, I think maybe Rock is right.

  And if it comes to that, it may be not only the end of the Iron Spiders, but the end of the Lords of Carnage, too.

  Rock ends church by ordering a strict ban of traveling outside the city limits until further notice. We’ll continue to take guard shifts outside the club twenty-four seven. All the brothers will do periodic check-ins, and report any unusual activity immediately. Any brother who wants security for his family can stay at the clubhouse or request some of the men to watch over their house. All brothers will keep security video footage from their own houses, and anyone who doesn’t have cameras installed at their houses will get them. Samantha and I will stay in one of the apartments here at the clubhouse until the damage to my place is fixed, and until I’ve updated the security system and gotten stronger locks for the doors and windows.

  As we wander out of the chapel, my head is fucking pounding. The club’s in a rough spot, and it’s only going to get rougher. But that’s not why I’m feeling this way.

  The club’s been in danger before.

  But this time, I’ve got someone else to worry about. Someone other than my brothers.

  Since Liam died, I haven’t let myself care much about anything. About anyone. Joining the club was a way for me to be part of something bigger than myself. Something where strength and loyalty were all that mattered. The past was irrelevant, and the future was all about my oath to my brothers. Life, death, all that shit — it was all kind of taken care of by that oath. Whether I lived or died was just a matter of whether my time was up. The only thing that mattered was not betraying my club.

  But now? Now I’ve got someone else to live for. Someone else to care about. To worry about. Now, the club’s actions don’t just affect the club. They affect her, too.

  Samantha.

  Somehow, she’s become more important to me than just about anything. Protecting her is my job. It’s my duty. I haven’t taken any sort of formal vow, sure. I haven’t had her name tattooed on my skin, like I have the name of my club. But she’s there, all the same. Tattooed onto my heart.

  Back in the main part of the clubhouse, a few of the old ladies are clustered over in a corner. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but it’s clear just from their hushed voices and the worried looks on their faces what they’re talking about.

  “Have y’all seen Samantha around?” I ask them.

  “She left with Jenna a little while ago,” Rena tells me. A couple of the other women nod.

  Fuck. “Okay, thanks.”

  In frustration, I head upstairs to the apartment we’ll be using for the next few days. Inside, I lie down on the bed and stare up at the ceiling for a few minutes. The memory of being on our date with Ghost and Jenna last night is still fresh in my mind. Sam’s smiling face is right there in front of me. I loved how just doing something so normal with her — just going out for some food and a beer with me — made her so damn happy.

  Hell, it made me happy, too.

  Wanting is dangerous.

  I want a future with her. Want it so bad I can taste it. And I want to believe it can happen. But just below the surface — just beneath the fact that I’m happier with Samantha than I’ve ever been in my goddamn life — there’s a black thrum of foreboding. A constant note of danger that I can’t ignore. Something isn’t right.

  I end up falling asleep for a little bit, and when I wake up, my head doesn’t hurt as bad. The feeling of danger is still there, though, and I swear softly and sit up on the bed. I don’t like having Samantha away from me. Not right now.

  I should have told her to wait for me, I think. I shouldn’t be letting her go around by herself right now. I should have insisted on coming with her.

  Pulling out my phone, I check my text messages to see if she’s checked in with me. Nothing. I start to put it back in my pocket, then decide I’m going to call her to make sure she’s okay. I’m just about to dial her number when I remember the GPS app I installed on her phone and connected to mine this morning. I punch it up and wait for the map to load. The lines start to materialize, and I frown slightly in confusion. It doesn’t look like Tanner Springs. Eventually, the design completes itself, and a moving blue dot materializes in the center.

  My heart starts to slam against my chest.

  Judging from the speed of the dot, Sam’s in her car. She’s going south.

  Right into Spiders territory.

  32

  Samantha

  The spot that Annika and Justin have chosen for their engagement photos is out in the country, south of Tanner Springs in an area I’ve never been to before. On the way down, I drive through a couple of towns of around the same size as Tanner Springs. It’s beautiful country down here, hillier and greener. As I drive, I make a mental note to ask Hawk to take me riding down here. I imagine it would be even more beautiful to experience on a motorcycle.

  By the time I get to the location Annika gave me, my spirits are lifting and the nightmare of last night feels a little less real. Annika and Justin are already there when I arrive, and I pull in behind their car in the driveway of a rustic farmhouse that almost looks like it’s a movie set, it’s so perfectly charming.

  “Isn’t this place cute?” Annika enthuses. “It was Justin’s grandparents’. His grandma died a couple of years ago, and it’s just been sitting vacant ever since.”

  Annika introduces me to her fiancé, a tall, tow-headed guy who, like Annika, looks like he’s about eighteen. He doesn’t talk much — clearly, Annika is the more extroverted of the two of them. Annika and Justin are both wearing jeans, matching flannel shirts, and cowboy boots. We walk around the property for a few minutes, scouting locations for photos, and then get down to business. I take photos of them sitting on the ramshackle front porch, on a large log in the yard, out in a clearing filled with tallish grass and wildflowers. The two of them are beaming at each other the whole time, and I’m incredibly happy for them. They’re so young and in love, and I silently root for them to be one of the couples who makes it and has a long, happy marriage.

  After a couple of hours, I’ve shot hundreds of photos and we’re all starting to get tired. I tell Annika I’ll be in touch once I’ve had a chance to put a gallery together, and we walk back to the cars. Justin’s parents live close by and the two of them are going there for dinner, so I say goodbye to them and wave as they pull out of the drive and head south. I stow my equipment and climb in my car for the trip back north.

  Since we were going to be tromping around in the grass, I had decided to leave my phone in the car during the shoot so I wouldn’t lose it. As I pull my seatbelt on and start the car, I take it from the cup holder and check it for messages. I’m surprised to see that there are over a dozen texts, all but one from Hawk, and three voicemails from him. The first text I see is in all caps, and sends my heart racing in sudden fright:

  CALL ME RIGHT NOW

  I don’t take the time to listen to his voicemails — instead, I choose one and hit “return call” with suddenly shaking fingers. The phone rings once, twice, three times, and I’m preparing to leave a message when Hawk picks up. At first I think the connection is really bad, but then realize the crackling and whooshing sounds I’m hea
ring are wind and road noise. Hawk must be on his bike.

  “Samantha!” he yells into the phone. “Where are you? Tell me you’re okay!”

  “I’m fine!” I cry. “My God, what’s wrong?”

  “You’re in Iron Spiders territory!”

  “What?”

  “You’re on the turf of the club that did the drive-by last night! You need to get out now!”

  My mind races to keep up with him. Hawk hasn’t told me much about any of this, and now he’s telling me I’ve driven right into the territory of people who tried to kill us. Trying not to panic, I cry, “Hawk! What should I do?”

  “Drive north!” he shouts. “Back the way you came! Do it right now! Don’t stop anywhere! I’m coming to meet you!”

  I slam the car into gear and floor it so fast I almost lose control on the gravel drive. “I’m driving back the way I came!” I yell into the phone.

  “Don’t hang up!” he insists. “Drive, but put the phone on speaker and leave it on the seat!”

  I don’t know whether the threat is immediate, but I’ve never heard Hawk sound like this. Even last night after the drive-by, he was calm and in control. Right now, he sounds like a man possessed.

  It’s terrifying.

  For a few minutes, I just concentrate on driving, and remembering how to get back the way I came. I’m speeding, but I’m afraid to go too fast because I’m shaking and don’t want to run off the road. On the seat, the phone ticks off the seconds of our connection, the sound of the wind and Hawk’s engine like a lifeline.

  I drive into the city limits of one of the small towns I passed on the way here, and have to force myself to slow down. I don’t want to get a ticket, I think, and then laugh crazily at myself. The police are the last thing I should be worried about right now.