HAWK (Lords of Carnage MC)

by Daphne Loveling

  “What are you laughing at?” Hawk shouts from his end.

  “Nothing!” I call out, and feel a surge of momentary relief. It feels good to laugh, even at my own stupidity.

  I’m starting to feel a little better now. Maybe Hawk is just overreacting, I tell myself as I pass through the town. Soon, I’m driving through the last traffic lights and accelerating back up to highway speed. “How far away am I from getting back into Lords territory?” I ask Hawk, hoping it’s soon so I can relax.

  Just as I finish my question, I glance back in my rear view mirror and see four motorcycles pull out of a parking lot at the edge of town.

  “Hawk?” I begin uncertainly. “Are you guys behind me?”

  “What? No.”

  “H—how far away are you?”

  “Looks like we’re about five or six miles out, on the same road as you coming in the opposite direction.”

  My stomach goes cold. “There are four guys on bikes behind me about half a mile or so,” I tell him. My voice rises in fear. “It looks like they have leathers on.”

  “Fuck!” hisses Hawk. “Floor it, baby! Drive as fast as you can. Don’t stop for anything! We’re on our way!”

  I do as he says, gripping the steering wheel hard as I push down on the accelerator. Glancing in the mirror, I see the motorcycles behind me are getting larger, beginning to close the distance between us. I let out an involuntary shriek and push down harder, praying I can outrun them but knowing I probably can’t. My only hope is if Hawk gets to me in time, and if he’s not alone. The thought that he might not have brought men to help him brings on a wave of acute nausea, and I try to fight it back as the horrible realization hits me that we might both end up in the hands of the other MC.

  What do they want?

  Will they hurt us? Hold us hostage? Or…

  A loud sob rips from my throat as I push down further, my foot to the floor now. Up ahead, there’s an intersection, with a pickup truck about to pull onto the highway. I press down on the horn and pray he won’t misjudge my distance and speed and pull out in front of me. I know I won’t be able to avoid hitting him if he does.

  My car barrels past the pickup, the bikes ever closer. By now I can see flashes of white and red on their vests that I know are club patches. One of the men gestures to the other, and they move into a different formation. They’re getting ready to do something. To me.

  We come to a fairly steep hill, so steep that I can’t see over to the other side. If the bikers behind me are planning to overtake me, they probably won’t do it until after we’re over it. I jam my foot down to the floor, desperately trying to get more speed out of the car. I’m driving far too fast now, it’s not safe and I know it but I don’t have a choice. I pray fervently that nothing will be there on the other side for me to hit. The more I consider the possibility, the sicker I feel, as I imagine the crash of metal and the instant death it would mean for me and whoever could be in front of me.

  I fly over the hill, my stomach dropping like I’m on a roller coaster, and miraculously there’s no one in my path. But now the men behind me are almost on me, and as I glance wildly at them I see one of them is pulling out what looks like a pistol. If he shoots me, or my tires, I’ll lose control and I’m going too fast to survive it. “Hawk!” I scream. “Help me!” There’s another hill coming up, and as the man with the gun holds it out and levels it at me, I do the only thing I can think of.

  I let up on the gas and slam on the brakes.

  33

  Hawk

  I’m just opening my mouth to tell Samantha we’re almost there when I hear her scream through the phone. “Hawk! Help me!”

  The next thing I hear is the squeal of tires, a loud crash, and then silence.

  “SAMANTHA!” I roar into my headset. We’re not even a quarter mile from her, one hill away, and I throttle up and take the hill so fast that for a second I’m sure I’m gonna fly off the bike. I crest over the top, Brick and Thorn following close behind me, and come down the other side just in time to see Samantha’s car skidding to a stop. Behind her, two bikes are tangled together in a sickening heap of twisted metal. Their riders have been flung brutally to the pavement. One look is enough to know that they’re both dead. One body is nothing more than a gnarled mess of meat; the other is just bloodied, broken legs sticking partway out of a ditch.

  A third bike is smashed into the back of Samantha’s accordioned car, I note quickly, and the fourth and last one is riding straight toward us. The leather-vested rider has a gun in one hand, and is tilting crazily and struggling not to swerve and crash.

  I fly toward Samantha, knowing Brick and Thorn will deal with the fourth man. Then my bike is on the ground and I’m running toward her car when I hear another crash behind me. I fling open her door, my heart in my throat and expecting the worst. Inside the car, Sam is awake and alive, an airbag stuffed between her and the steering wheel. There’s some blood on her face and she’s white as a sheet, but other than that she looks like she’s okay. She stares up at me, her eyes barely registering me for a moment. She makes a few shapes with her mouth, but no words come out.

  “Sam,” I croak, kneeling down to her. “Fuck, baby, are you okay?”

  She nods dumbly and stares at the airbag in front of her. “I think so,” she says in a daze. I take hold of the bag and rip it with my bare hands to deflate it. As it goes down, Sam starts pawing weakly at the buckle to her seatbelt. “Please get me out of here,” she whispers.

  Behind us, a loud gunshot rings out. I glance back to see Thorn standing over a body, Brick by his side.

  “Come on, baby, let’s go,” I croon, and help her get shakily to her feet. Her eyes are confused, a little unfocused and vacant. She looks like she might be going into shock. Samantha turns and looks uncomprehendingly at the back of her car. For the first time, I notice that the motorcycle smashed into it has a body attached. Or what’s left of one, anyway.

  “My camera,” Sam murmurs vaguely, and then collapses in my arms.

  “She okay?” Brick asks as he comes running up to me.

  “She might be in shock,” I tell him. “See if you can grab her camera equipment from the back of the car.”

  Thorn calls Rock, gives him our location and tells him what just happened. Rock tells him he’s going to call Len Baker, Tanner Springs’ police chief, and let him know that four Iron Spiders just died in a freak accident just inside our territory.

  “Sam, baby,” I murmur, holding her in my arms by the side of the road. “We need to get out of here as soon as we can. Are you okay to ride on the back of my bike?”

  Samantha takes a few deep breaths in and out. She’s trembling like a leaf, but she nods. “Yes. I’m okay.”

  “You sure?”

  She nods again, more definitely this time. “I can do it. I just want to… not be here anymore.”

  Thorn and Brick drag the body of the Spider that Thorn shot to the side of the road, into a ditch. Thorn comes over to me and lifts his chin toward Samantha. “How’s she doing?”

  “I’m okay,” she answers for herself. “Just… shaken up.”

  “That was a genius thing you did,” he tells her with a half-smile. “Probably the only thing you could have done to stop them.”

  “Thanks,” she says faintly. She shivers and burrows deeper into my chest.

  “I need to get her out of here, brother,” I murmur to Thorn. “You guys coming?”

  Thorn nods. “Not much else we can do here,” he says. “What do you want to do with her car?”

  “It’s toast,” I say, which is obvious. “Maybe we should have Rock get a tow truck out here, haul it away.”

  Brick comes up to stand beside Thorn. “No time for that,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s a minor miracle no one’s driven by here yet. We’ll never get the car out of here before the cops see it.”

  I nod. “You’re right. Let’s leave it here. I’ll have Sam file a stolen vehicle report with the Tanner Springs
PD when we get back.” It’s not a great solution, but it’s the best we’ve got.

  “What about the bullet in that Spider’s head?” I ask them, glancing over toward the side of the road where his body lies.

  “Yeah, unfortunate that,” Thorn says regretfully. “I cleaned the gun for prints and threw it down there with the body. There’s no way it can be traced back to us.” He scans the highway. “Let’s just get as far from the scene as possible, and hope for the best.”

  When I’m certain that Samantha’s good to ride, the four of us double back and take a side road toward Tanner Springs so as not to run into any law enforcement on their way to the scene. When we make it back into town, Samantha is still feeling pretty shaky, so I decide to put off having her file the vehicle report until tomorrow.

  In the meantime, I’m taking her back to the clubhouse to rest. She’s had enough excitement for one day. And so have I.

  34

  Hawk

  When I get Samantha back to the clubhouse, she lets me lead her upstairs with hardly a word. She’s shaky and exhausted, and all I want to do right now is to get her somewhere she feels safe and can rest. She barely looks around at the apartment, but just lies down on the bed and closes her eyes.

  “Don’t leave me,” she whispers.

  I lean down and kiss her softly on the forehead. “I’m just gonna go grab your stuff, baby. I’ll be back in a few minutes. You’re safe here.”

  Before long, Sam’s drifted off, her face softening as sleep takes her. I go back downstairs and grab her camera bag and the small duffel of clothes Brick grabbed from the back of her car. I haven’t had a chance to go back to my place and get anything for myself, but I can’t handle the thought of leaving Sam right now. So instead, I find Thorn and ask him to go by my house for me. There’s one thing in particular I need, and I want to have it when Samantha wakes up.

  Instead of going back upstairs right away, I decide to grab a beer from the bar and let her sleep for a while. I slump down on one of the stools and motion for Jewel.

  “Hey,” she greets me, and hands me a bottle. “Looks like you’ve had a rough one.”

  I snort softly. “You don’t know the half of it.”

  “I heard about the drive-by last night,” she murmurs. “Glad you’re both okay.”

  “I could never have lived with myself if something had happened to her,” I reply. The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, and I’m pissed at myself. I’m not interested in talking about this. I don’t know why I said anything to Jewel.

  She looks at me for a long moment. “She loves you, you know,” she says then. “She’s freaking crazy about you.”

  Goddamnit. “Jewel, I think you’re mistaking me for someone who wants to talk about feelings with their bartender,” I warn her.

  She just laughs. “Okay, whatever, tough guy,” she says, flicking her towel at me. “You don’t have to talk about your feelings with me. But I’m just saying, if you haven’t told her how you feel, I think maybe you should get on that.”

  I roll my eyes. “What is it with women?”

  She gives me a saucy wink. “We’re more in touch with our feelings. That’s what.” Her face grows serious. “You do deserve her, you know. You’re one of the good ones, Hawk.”

  “Okay, I’m out,” I growl, standing up. Jewel’s tinkling laughter follows me as I walk away in disgust.

  I’m trying to decide whether to go out for a smoke or back up to check on Samantha when Ghost walks in the door to the clubhouse.

  “Hey, Hawk?” he calls over to me. “There’s some guy outside asking for you.”

  This day apparently isn’t done fucking with me yet. I sigh. “You recognize him at all?”

  Ghost shrugs. “Not really. I may have seen him around town somewhere. He’s not wearing colors, so he’s gotta be a civilian.” His lip curls a little. “He looks kind of strung out.”

  Frowning, I go to the front door and peer outside into the parking lot. The only cage that doesn’t belong to one of our guys is parked at the far end. With a start, I immediately recognize it as Anita’s car.

  Standing next to it, smoking a cigarette, is Anita’s brother Tommy.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I growl at him as I walk toward the car. I’ve probably only had two or three conversations with Anita’s younger brother over the years. And every one of them have convinced me that he’s even a bigger piece of shit than his sister is.

  Tommy holds up his hands in a gesture of submission. “Hey, man, look, I come in peace.” He gives me the hint of a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I just wanted to give you some information, man, and maybe ask a favor.”

  I can’t imagine anything Tommy has to say that I need to know. “Fine. Go,” I bark. “I’ve got shit to do.”

  His eyes flicker downward for a second, then back up to my face. His gaze doesn’t quite meet mine. “I just wanted to let you know about Anita, man. She OD’ed a couple days ago.”

  Holy shit. “OD’ed,” I repeat. “So, is she…?”

  “She didn’t make it.” Tommy shakes his head. “She was alone when it happened, I guess. So no one was around to help her out. They think the H was laced with China White.”

  I don’t know what I expect to feel. Anger, maybe. Disgust. I’m not surprised. Hell, if you’d asked me where I thought Anita would be in five years, I probably would have predicted this.

  Still. It all just makes me so fucking sad. She was out of control, and she was a manipulative bitch, and she fucked my brother over. In most ways, I hate her.

  But deep down, she was just a messed-up kid that never figured her shit out.

  I sigh, overcome by sadness. For her. For my brother. For the stupid kids we all used to be.

  “Where’s Connor?” I finally ask. I glance over at the car, but it’s empty.

  “Child Protective Services came and got him when they found her body,” he tells me.

  “You didn’t try to stop them?” How the hell could he let them take his own nephew? I’m fucking furious.

  “Hey, I wasn’t there, man, all right?” He holds his arms wide in a supplicating gesture. “Besides, maybe it’s for the best. I mean, I can’t take care of a kid. Connor will be okay, right? They’ll find him some kind of foster family, or something. He’ll get adopted, right? By some doctor family or something.”

  Jesus. I shake my head in disbelief. It’s true, though. Tommy might even be a shittier parent than Anita was. But isn’t there anyone in Anita’s family who could take him? I can only imagine what Connor’s life has been like so far, and now he’s gonna be thrown into the system — tossed around from family to family, until maybe, with luck, someone decent decides to keep him. I feel sick.

  “So yeah. I thought you’d wanna know…” Tommy trails off, and sticks his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He stands there, not saying anything but not moving. I suddenly remember he said he had a favor to ask.

  “So, what’s the favor?” I say, pulling out a smoke and lighting it.

  “Well… I know you’ve helped Anita out before,” he begins with a hopeful grin. “And I’m kind of in a bind. I just lost my job, and I could use a little cash to hold me over until I find something else.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath, then let it out. Suddenly, I’m fucking exhausted. All I want is to go back upstairs with Samantha, and shut out the rest of the world for a while. When I open them again, Tommy is standing there expectantly. Sighing, I shake my head and pull out a couple of twenties.

  “Here,” I say, handing them to him. “Thanks for letting me know about Anita.”

  “Sure thing, man,” he says helpfully.

  “Don’t come back here again,” I tell him. “We’re done, you understand me? Done.”

  He looks a little crestfallen, but nods. “Okay, dude. I get you. Thanks for the cash.”

  I don’t bother to tell him goodbye. I just turn back to the clubhouse. I’m more tired than
I remember feeling in years. With everything that’s happened in the last couple of days, it feels like the end of an era.

  An idea starts to form in my head.

  And maybe, I tell myself, just maybe, the beginning of a new one.

  35

  Samantha

  I don’t know how long I sleep, but I wake up to the sound of music playing.

  I open my eyes in the strange apartment to find Hawk sitting in a chair near the bed. He’s strumming his guitar softly, head bent and eyes down in concentration. I don’t move, not wanting him to realize I’m awake and stop what he’s doing.

  The melody is quiet and introspective, and I’ve never heard it before. I’m not sure, but I think it’s something Hawk has composed himself. Lying there and listening to him, it’s like I’ve been given a secret window to a part of him that he keeps closed off from the world. It feels like a gift, and my heart fills to hear it.

  The music swells, then slows, and the song ends. Hawk’s fingers grow still, and he glances up at me. Our eyes meet, and I smile at him.

  “No fair,” he murmurs. “You’re supposed to be asleep.”

  “It was a beautiful way to wake up,” I say. “I love hearing you play.”

  Hawk gets up and leans the guitar against the chair, then comes over to sit beside me on the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

  “Better.” I take a deep breath and look around the room. “Honestly, the whole thing seems kind of like a dream, now that we’re back here.”

  “Good,” he nods. “The sooner you put it out of your mind, the better.”

  “What’s… going to happen now?” I ask, not sure how to put all my questions into words.

  “You and I will stay here for the time being. We’ll wait to get a sense of what the fallout is going to be with the Iron Spiders.” He takes my hands in his. “I’m going to protect you, Sam. I promise you. Nothing like this will ever happen to you again.” His eyes are fierce, determined.