If Wishes Were...Daddies

by Jo Leigh

  Jessica smiled. She knew both of them better after this talk. What she didn’t know was what to do. She followed Theresa and Angelina out to the elevator, but she really didn’t pay attention to what they were saying. There was too much to think about.

  It would be very scary, moving to Rome. She wasn’t sure that was the right answer for her, or for the baby. But to deny the baby all the love this family wanted to shower him with would be cruel, wouldn’t it? Hadn’t she always dreamed of having a family like this for herself?

  It would mean marrying Nick, of course. Even though she knew he didn’t love her. But as far as she could tell, that was really the only drawback. Everything else about the marriage was on the plus side. And there was a chance that if they did marry, Nick would eventually come to love her.

  She couldn’t count on that. She’d better not. That was dangerous thinking. If there was one thing she prided herself on, it was her logic. And logic said that she’d better accept Nick for what and who he was, and never, ever expect him to change.

  The elevator stopped, and Jessica followed Theresa and Angelina to the restaurant. Nick was waiting at a table, and he stood up as they approached. He barely looked at his mother or sister. His incredible smile was just for her.

  “Ciao, cara,” he said, stepping to her side. “I hope they haven’t said too many bad things about me.”

  “We wouldn’t,” Theresa said. “Nicolo, you know better than that.”

  “He only says those things because he knows it shocks you,” Angelina said.

  “Well, it’s not nice.”

  Nick laughed as he held Jessica’s chair for her. When she sat, he leaned down and kissed her on the neck. His warm breath made her shiver in a completely delicious way. Then he whispered “I missed you” before he stood up again.

  She didn’t say a thing. She just watched as he went to his mother’s side and kissed her cheek, then did the same to his sister. Her gaze stayed on the women. h was so clear they adored him. She already knew he adored them.

  “So,” Nick said as he picked up his menu. “Did they convince you to marry me? Or scare you away forever?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  He laughed. “Yes, they scared you?”

  She shook her head.

  His smile faded. “They convinced you to marry me?” he said, his voice a little unsteady. He glanced at his mother and sister, but they both gave him shrugs instead of answers.

  Jessica took a deep breath. She felt as if she were jumping off a high cliff, and she couldn’t see what was below. But this was for her baby. She smiled, then nodded.

  “Cara, are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  He didn’t say anything for a long while. He just stared at her. Looking for what, she didn’t know. But he must have seen it, because he gave a little nod, grinned like a Cheshire cat, grabbed his water glass and stood up.

  “Mama, Theresa,” he said. “I thank you both for doing what I couldn’t. Jessica has agreed to be my wife.”

  Both women jumped up and came to her side. They were so happy, so enthusiastic, that she felt—no, knew—she’d made the right choice. For the baby.

  Angelina kissed her cheek. “I couldn’t be happier, darling. Unless, of course, you decide to move to Rome.”

  “What’s this?” Nick asked, looking sharply at his mother.

  “We thought it would be lovely, Nicolo. Jessica and the baby in Rome, at the villa. Don’t you think so?”

  Nick was so slow to nod, that Jessica almost took back her yes. If he didn’t want her there...

  “Of course, it’s a grand idea,” he said finally. But she didn’t quite trust his smile.

  “Good.” Angelina stood up and turned to Nick. “When are you going to make an honest woman of her?”

  “Saturday.”

  “What?” Jessica asked, afraid she’d heard him correctly.

  “I never canceled the church,” he said. “We’ll be husband and wife in six days.”

  “To the wedding,” Angelina said, lifting her glass.

  “To the wedding,” Theresa and Nick echoed.

  Jessica lifted her water glass, but couldn’t quite say the words.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Nick sipped his wine as Angelina, Theresa and Jessica talked about the wedding. The more they talked, the stronger the urge to run out of the restaurant became. Not that this wasn’t what he wanted. No, he’d asked her to marry him, and he still believed it was the right thing to do. But ever since he’d made love with Jessica, this marriage had become a lot more complicated than he’d anticipated.

  Before, it had just been what he had to do. No self-respecting man would do less. It was his child, and he would see to it that the boy had every advantage, including the Carlucci name and birthright. It had been a nice bonus that the mother of his child was someone he liked. Liked well enough for him to have followed her to America.

  Now it wasn’t just about the baby. It was about Jessica, too. He knew she had expectations of him as a husband. What he didn’t know was what those expectations were.

  Did she want him to be a full-time husband and father? Did she expect him to change diapers? Or would she be content to have the comfortable surroundings he could provide, without him?

  Even more perplexing was the fact that he didn’t know what he wanted. Was it possible to have his old way of life without hurting her? He didn’t think so.

  “Nicolo,” Theresa said, “tell her.”

  “Tell her what?”

  “Haven’t you been listening?” Angelina asked. “We’ve been talking about the villa. About Jessica and the baby moving to Rome.”

  “What?” He looked from his mother to his sister and, finally, to Jessica. Her eyes told him he’d messed up again. But they’d sprung this on him with no warning!

  “Don’t worry,” Jessica said, “I’m not moving.”

  “Please, darling,” Angelina said. “Don’t say that. You promised to think about it, didn’t you?”

  Jessica nodded, but when he tried to capture her gaze, she wouldn’t look at him.

  “I think it’s a wonderful idea,” he said, although he wasn’t at all sure he was telling the truth. “But only if it’s something Jessica wants.”

  “Of course,” Theresa said. “But it wouldn’t hurt if you helped her want it.”

  “No need to rush things,” Jessica said. “I think getting married in six days will provide us with enough panic to last a while.”

  “And there’s the house to buy.”

  “Nicky,” Theresa said, “if Jessica comes to Rome, you won’t need to buy a house.”

  “Whether she moves or not, I want her to have a home here. She’ll visit back and forth, no? And I want her to be comfortable.”

  “All right,” Theresa said hesitantly. “But don’t make it too wonderful.”

  “I know a shop where we can get your gown,” Angelina said. “We’ll have to go tomorrow if we have any hopes of getting something decent.”

  “Of course we need to talk to Jeff about the wedding party,” Theresa added. “He said he couldn’t do anything in less than a month.”

  “He’ll change his mind for Jessica.” Nick’s mother turned to him. “When we finish shopping for her, perhaps we can get you fitted for a new tuxedo?”

  Nick nodded. A tuxedo was the least of his problems. He had some serious thinking to do, and there was no possibility he could do it in the midst of all these wedding preparations.

  He watched the women in his life for a moment. Angelina and Theresa were thrilled, that was clear. But when his gaze moved to Jessica, he could see all his own doubts and fears on her face. Why had she changed her mind?

  JESSICA STARED AT HER reflection in the mirror. This was it. The one. The dress she would be married in.

  Behind her, Angelina and Jeff argued over a veil, while Theresa and Paul eyed the dress she was wearing critically, speaking to each other as if she were a mannequin.

  �
�I’m not sure,” Paul said.

  “But look what it does for her bosom,” Theresa argued. “The line is perfect.”

  “There’s absolutely no train. And look at those rosettes on the sleeve. What’s that all about?”

  “This is it,” Jessica said.

  “Let’s try on that Vera Wang one more time,” Jeff said.

  “And maybe the Jessica McLintock,” Angelina said, holding up two veils for inspection.

  “If we can stop thinking white, white, white,” Paul said, “we wouldn’t have to worry about her hail.”

  “This is the one,” Jessica said again. She turned to her entourage. “I want this dress.”

  Everyone finally heard her. They studied her from head to toe, not one of them looking very pleased.

  “It’ll work,” Jeff said, as if his pronouncement made the decision final. “With her hair back, dropped pearls and loads of baby’s breath in the bouquet.”

  “What about the veil?” Angelina asked. “I think this one, no?”

  The attention shifted to Angelina, and Jessica sighed. She appreciated the fact that her friends and her future in-laws had all wanted to come with her to select her dress, but she also felt an emptiness in the pit of her stomach.

  Her own mother should have been here. Well, not her mother, but the mother she should have had. Instead, she had to borrow friends and family. They were all wonderful, but it wasn’t like in the books. On the other hand, what about this wedding had been ideal? She still wasn’t sure she was making the right decision. It was as far as the baby went—that’s why she was here now. The baby came first. But a wedding was supposed to be the happiest time of a woman’s life, not a compromise.

  That’s what her wedding was, though. A compromise. One or two more pros than cons. A slight tilt of the scales. And she was picking out veils and silver patterns.

  The week was going by so quickly, she barely had time to catch her breath. The entire design team had put everything else on hold and had pulled together a wedding party that she still could hardly believe. After the ceremony at the church, they would all go to the Mondrian Hotel, where there would be a sit-down dinner for forty people. Almost all of them friends of the groom. She was stunned that so many of his relatives were coming from Italy. Everyone from his grandmother to his second cousin Luigi.

  On her side, it was mostly business associates, some of her friends from college, and her aunt Ruth, who was flying in from Delaware. Jessica had no idea if her mother was going to show up or not. She’d called to invite her, but Mona wasn’t sure she could get away.

  “Hey, you doing okay?”

  Jessica jumped a bit at the sound of Jeff’s voice. He had come up next to her, and she hadn’t even noticed. “I’m fine, thanks.”

  “How come I don’t believe that?”

  “Oh, Jeff. You know I’m a natural-born worrier.”

  “That’s not what I’m concerned about.”

  She looked in the mirror again and ran her hands down the gown. “Do you like it?”

  “Don’t change the subject.” Jeff walked in front of her, blocking her image. “Talk to me, Jess.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “Then why won’t you look at me?”

  She forced her gaze up, willing herself not to show the confusion that was swirling inside her. But that, it seemed, was too big of an acting challenge for her.

  “Honey, tell me what’s going on?”

  “It’s just that this isn’t what I thought it was going to be like.”

  “The dress?”

  She shook her head.

  “The wedding?”

  She nodded, feeling her eyes fill with hot tears.

  Jeff moved in and wrapped his arms around her. She laid her head on his chest, grateful that he wasn’t going to see her cry.

  “Don’t you love him?” he said.

  “That’s the problem. I do love him. If I didn’t, all of this would be a lot easier.”

  “So you’re marrying him because of the baby?”

  She nodded.

  “You know, you don’t have to. You won’t be alone, kid, ever. You’ve got me and you always will. No matter what.”

  The tears she’d been fighting spilled over. She tried to speak, but she couldn’t.

  “For what it’s worth, I think he’s a good guy,” Jeff said, his voice so low she had to struggle to hear him. “I don’t know if that makes any difference. But I like him, and his family. I think you could do a lot worse.”

  She sniffed and wiped her cheek. “I’m just being a sentimental fool, that’s all. Nick is a nice guy. He’ll be a good father, that much I’m sure about.”

  “He could end up being a good husband, too, you know. Stranger things have happened.”

  “Yeah. I know. I’m just...”

  “You just want it all, right?”

  She nodded again, knowing she was wetting his shirtfront with her tears.

  “You deserve it all, sweet one. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. Just follow your heart.”

  “My heart is what’s gotten me into trouble.”

  She felt more than heard him laugh. “Isn’t that always the way?” he said. “But hey, at least you’re in good company. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t made a damn fool of themselves for love.”

  “I’d rather not join that club if it’s all the same to you.”

  “Too late. Seems to me you’re a card-carrying member, and have been ever since you got on that plane to Rome.”

  She sighed, wiped her eyes once more and stepped out of Jeff’s embrace. She looked up at him, at his wry smile. “Thank you for being here.”

  “It’s my job,” he said, winking.

  She smiled. “I think I have to go try on some veils.”

  Jeff leaned down, kissed her on the cheek and put his hand on her stomach. “That’s one lucky kid you got there.”

  She put her hand over his. “He sure does have a remarkable uncle.”

  “To THE HAPPY COUPLE!”

  Nick smiled as he heard the clinking of glasses all around him. He turned to Jessica and held out his own glass. “To the happy couple,” he said softly. She smiled and brought her water glass to meet his.

  Having finished his toast, Jeff sat down, and everyone began to eat. The rehearsal had gone well, and the reward was this dinner, a preview of what they could expect after the wedding. It looked wonderful, but Nick found he wasn’t particularly hungry. He hadn’t been for the last several days. According to his mother, it was nerves, and he believed that. With so much to do in so little time, he was bound to be edgy.

  Just this afternoon he’d put a bid on the new house, the cozy one that Jessica had finally approved of. It was in Santa Monica, and it was very nice, if a bit small. There were four bedrooms, at least, and a swimming pool. What did it matter, as long as Jessica was happy?

  He’d also had his last tuxedo fitting and helped Jessica pick out china and silver patterns. No one had told him getting married was such a complicated affair. He’d be glad when all this was over, and he could go back to the calm of the cockpit. But he only had to wait one more day. By this time tomorrow, he’d be married.

  He shifted his gaze to his bride-to-be. She wasn’t eating, either. That wasn’t good. She had the baby to think about. “Jessica?”

  She looked up. “Hmm?”

  “If you don’t like the salad, I’m sure they could bring you something else.”

  “Oh, no, I like it fine.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded, giving him a wan smile.

  “Are you all right, cara?”

  “Of course. Just a little tired, that’s all.”

  He could understand that. She’d been swept up in all the preparations. Now that he really looked at her, he could see that she was exhausted. She was pale, thinner than she should be. “Tomorrow, you can sleep late, no? We don’t have to be at the church until one.”

  She laughe
d. “Tomorrow I’ll be at the beauty shop bright and early.”

  “Do you have to? You look so pretty now, what do they need to do?”

  “Now, that’s sweet Wrong, but sweet.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be sweet. You need to rest.”

  “I’ll rest the day after tomorrow,” she said.

  “We can postpone the honeymoon,” he said. “It’s not too late.”

  “No, I think a few days in Palm Springs will be wonderful. Please don’t worry. I’m fine.”

  “You don’t look fine. You look tired.”

  She patted his hand. The touch surprised him, and judging from the expression on her face, it surprised her, too. It occurred to him that they hadn’t touched in days. They hadn’t been alone, they hadn’t really talked, they certainly hadn’t made love.

  His gaze moved from their hands to her face. She was staring at him, as if he were a stranger.

  “That’s funny,” she said.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. It’s silly.”

  “Tell me.”

  She smiled, the first genuine smile he’d seen in a long while. “I was just thinking about the first time you held my hand.”

  Instantly, the moment came back to him. That first night, when they’d left the party and gone for a walk on the beach. He’d taken her hand, and something had happened. A jolt had gone through him. An almost electrical spark. He’d felt it again, just now. “I remember,” he said.

  “You felt it?”

  He nodded. “Then, and now.”

  She didn’t say anything for a minute. She just looked at him, her gaze unwavering and deep. “I’m glad,” she whispered.

  He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. Feeling her again, tasting her, he felt a surge of relief wash through him, although he wasn’t sure what he was relieved about. “I’ve missed you,” he said.

  “I’m glad about that, too.”

  “What are you doing tonight?” he whispered. “After?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “Would you like some company?”

  She nodded. “I think that would be very nice.”

  He smiled. “It’s a date.” Then he turned back to his meal and realized he was very, very hungry.