Tell Me You Want Me

by Joya Ryan

  Dex swore the guy just loved making all of them lift his heavy ass to make sure they still had the muscle to do it.

  He was receiving the training today, not the students, which unfortunately meant it didn’t count toward Dex’s requirement to “finish training a novice.”

  Michelle. He couldn’t get her out of his mind. He’d gotten all the feedback he needed from his mother. Not to mention, when Michelle admitted what her lifestyle was like before coming here, he’d realized exactly that kind of woman she’d been raised to be. Maybe what kind of woman she still was. Except she said she wanted to break free from that.

  He just knew better than most that trying to defy your nature didn’t usually work out well for anyone. You had to find out who you were and then accept that, good or bad.

  So is this really who she is?

  She’d full-on jumped from a damn helicopter. What uptight, snobby women from his past would ever have done that? And this whole time he’d known her, she had been tough and demanding, but she’d always tried to better herself for herself. Not for anyone else.

  “Distracted there, big guy?” East asked, snapping another harness next to him to check the restraint.

  “I’m good.”

  “Thinking about the manicure you’re going to get with the city girl?”

  “Shut up,” Dex said. Like he’d ever get a manicure. Actually, if that’s what it took to spend time with Michelle, he likely would. Not that he was about to admit that to East, though. The confident prick would never let him live it down.

  “Have you seen her lately?” East asked, still talking about Michelle.

  Dex didn’t answer. Because no, he hadn’t seen her in a few days. He didn’t know what the hell to do. Not after the way she’d behaved after jumping into the water. On one hand, she’d proven that maybe she was different than all the other women like her. But then she’d pulled away. All but disappeared.

  He liked her. And that was not a good thing. What was worse was that he’d actually thought for a moment she liked him back. Had hoped, at least.

  “She was looking really fine at Natalie’s cupcake shop the other day,” East said. And Dex flared with jealously. He knew his friend was trying to get a rise out of him, and it was working.

  “She’s a fine woman,” Dex said around clenched teeth, moving on to his next harness to inspect.

  “Yep, if I had a woman like that interested in me, I sure wouldn’t be here right now.”

  Dex dropped his harness on the table and faced East.

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “Nothing, I just think it’s great you think you’re too good for her and all.”

  That was the laugh of the year. “I don’t think I’m too good for her. She’s too good for me.”

  “Aww, well isn’t that sad? Your feelings are hurt because she flaked on you? Treated you like crap?”

  No, actually, she hadn’t done any of that. She’d treated him well. Never looked at him like he was less. But that wasn’t the point.

  “She was looking for a good time. I gave that to her. That’s it.”

  “If that’s all, then why have you been pissy these last few days?” East asked.

  “I’m not. You’re making me pissy.”

  “Nope, I think that ‘Good Time Dex’ is bummed because he wants the good times to keep going.”

  “What I want is to check these harnesses and stop getting grilled by your ugly mug.”

  “Ouch, and here I thought you were a smooth talker.”

  He was! And that was the shit of it. He could handle women like Michelle when he knew the rules. Which were a night, a second night, maybe some morning sex. But more? No, he didn’t stick around for that, and they didn’t want him to stick around for that.

  Easy, simple rules that kept him grounded. They were his tips for how to survive romantic entanglements.

  And here he was coming dangerously close to breaking those rules.

  Yeah, he wanted the good time to go on. And honestly, he had to get those last hours in. But his mom was right. He should have learned by now. Wanting Michelle and giving in to her were two totally different things. He knew better. He knew how this would end.

  And it would end.

  Then he’d be that guy she casually ran into at the supermarket. Not the kind of awkward place he wanted to end up. Not with her.

  Deep down, he knew it was inevitable. Sooner or later. Her father picked out men for her for Christ sakes. And no way in hell would Dex ever be on that list. Even if he wanted to be.

  “Well, at least you’ll get recertified and go back to the way things were,” East said with an exaggerated sigh.

  Jesus, was his friend really trying to irritate him tonight?

  “I still have a few hours left before Gage will sign off.”

  And knowing Gage’s affinity for making his life hell, he’d make sure Michelle accounted for all the hours, down to the minute of training. There was no way Dex could explain the situation to Gage without coming across like an asshole. East was a single man, too, so at least he might understand. But Gage was so wrapped up in his Happily Ever After that he believed there was a happy ending waiting for everyone.

  Dex knew that was bullshit. If he was ever going to find a happy ending with a woman, the last person he’d find it with was a woman like Michelle.

  He had to see her again, though. To finish up this last part of training if nothing else.

  But damn, he was hoping for something else.

  Guess his skull was thicker than even he realized, because once again…he knew better. He was getting caught up on a city girl out of his league.

  His phone pinged in his pocket, and he fished it out and read a text from Michelle. It was like the universe was listening and fucking with him.

  Michelle: I would like to see you. Tonight. Would you like that as well?

  He smiled. She was direct. Stated what she wanted and asked his opinion in return. She also had amazing timing, because he was going on seventy-two hours with not a single fix of her, and he was getting edgy with withdrawal. All reason aside, he wanted another taste of her.

  Dex: I would like that very much.

  Michelle: Great. Please come as soon as you can.

  He frowned at the last part. It sounded urgent.

  Dex: Are you okay?

  Michelle: Yes. Sort of.

  Dex: What’s wrong? Are you hurt?

  Come right away and “sort of fine” made his brain start hurling ideas. Maybe she’d hurt herself? Cut her hand on a kitchen knife? Car broke down?

  Michelle: I’m not hurt. I just miss you.

  That made his whole face slacken. She wanted him to come over right away because she missed him.

  Plain. Simple. That was it.

  She missed him.

  She didn’t need him to do any work or chore. Didn’t need him to pick her up or bail her out. Didn’t need a favor. She just missed him.

  That made his chest puff out with happiness.

  “Gotta go,” he said quickly to East, shoving his phone into his pocket and leaving his last harness on the table. “Can you finish checking that for me?”

  “Got somewhere better to be?” East asked.

  “Yeah,” Dex replied. He did.

  “You should at least shower before seeing your girl,” East called after him. Apparently Dex wasn’t overly cryptic when it came to his plans. It had already been a long day. Yeah, he’d worked hard and was a little sweaty and hadn’t shaved in a few days, but she wanted him. Even he couldn’t resist this disaster waiting to happen.

  “I’ll take my chances,” he said.

  Chapter Eleven

  A knock came at Michelle’s front door, and she all but ran to it. Her feet slapped against the hardwood and sent vibrations up her legs as she hustled faster.

  Dex.

  It had only been fifteen minutes since she’d texted him. She threw open the door and lunged at him.

  “Well,
hello to you,” he said with a deep chuckle and hugged her.

  She was going for what she wanted. Wasn’t going to waste any more time. And what she wanted was to taste and feel Dex.

  Their time was ending. The list would have to be completed on her own. And this, in its own way, would be a checkmark off her list.

  Fall hard for a man…and then walk away.

  The thought should have made her feel more free and alive than ever. But instead she felt vertigo, like she was falling and had no one to catch her.

  Deep down, she couldn’t do a relationship. Couldn’t be tied to anyone, because it would go against everything she’d fought for. She’d been more certain of that than ever when Dex had picked her out of the mock water rescue. He was the kind of man she’d get lost in if she wasn’t careful.

  But she wanted one more night with Dex. At the very least to say some sort of good-bye. Good-bye to the fun, good-bye to his charm, good-bye to the man she had feelings for.

  She couldn’t have feelings. She just couldn’t.

  And even if she did, she had to prove to herself that those feelings had no power over her. She had to be with him for one more night and then tell him good-bye.

  She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. It should be weird. They hadn’t spoken in a few days. But it was like they both knew the game. And for tonight, she was done playing. She’d been honest, put it out there, and he’d responded. No more games, just truth.

  And the truth was that she wanted him.

  He tasted and nipped her lips. “Sorry, I could use a shower, but your orders said right away.” He picked her up, and she instantly wrapped her legs around his middle as he took her inside and kicked the door shut behind him.

  “I’m so glad you listen to orders. Making me wait any longer would have made me very unhappy.”

  “Can’t have that,” he said, kissing down her neck.

  She didn’t care that he was dirty, messy, or in plain clothes. She just kissed him. She liked the smell of him, the taste of him.

  When she started tugging off his shirt, he groaned.

  “Maybe I should shower,” he said.

  “After,” she breathed and kept kissing him. “Need you now.”

  He kissed her harder. “God, I love hearing you say that.”

  She cupped his face, and, keeping her mouth against his, she said, “It’s true.”

  He leaned away to look at her for a moment. “I’m sorry I haven’t called.”

  She kissed him again. “I know. I didn’t call, either. Do you ever feel like you’re in the middle of a big mess and no matter what you do, there’s no way you’re going to come out clean?”

  He gripped her tighter, and with her still wrapped around him, he walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He didn’t let her go, though. Just adjusted her weight to one arm while he cranked the knobs and made hot water spray against them in seconds.

  “Yeah,” he admitted. “But maybe we can stay messy together for a little while longer.”

  There it was. The admission that she knew was coming. A little while longer.

  That said it all.

  He wanted more. And she wanted to give it to him.

  And that was all the reason she needed to put an end to this.

  This was her last hit of a drug she couldn’t stomach. It was so good. He was so good. But it went against everything she was trying to be on her own.

  “I’ll get dirty with you tonight,” she whispered.

  “Think we can get dirty and clean at the same time?” he asked and kissed down her neck. Thank goodness she was still wearing her dress from earlier, because it allowed for Dex to hold her bare ass beneath the flowy skirt.

  “I think we can get dirty anywhere,” she whispered, and then she tugged off his shirt and threw it to the floor. He growled and clutched her ass tighter, harder. She kissed him and reached between their bodies to unbuckle his belt and pants.

  “Condom is in my front pocket,” he said and bit down on her collarbone.

  She grabbed it quick, then shoved his pants low. She was on fire. Needing him. Fast. Hard. Now.

  Refusing to let her go, he just kicked off his boots and stepped out of his jeans, and then he was gloriously naked. The man was skilled, and he didn’t even have to use his hands.

  He walked into the shower and sat down.

  Water hit her back, her hair, her dress and rained over them. He was naked while she was still in her clothes, and the juxtaposition made her feel hot and wild and sexy. He gently bit the top of her cleavage as he tugged the top of her dress down enough to wedge the cloth beneath her breasts.

  He sucked one sensitive peak into his mouth, and she drove her fingers into his hair and tugged him closer. She loved his mouth on her. Especially when he seemed as desperate for contact as she was. She ground against him, his hard cock slipping along her panties.

  “Are these yours?” he asked, reaching beneath her dress and gripping the waist of her panties.

  “No, I didn’t design these,” she admitted, and she was about to ask why he wanted to know when he tore them clean off of her.

  She smiled and returned with a hotter, wilder kiss. He cared about her work. Wouldn’t destroy it. And thank God there was no longer a barrier between them. She clawed his back and rocked against him again, and this time his hard shaft slid between her wet folds.

  “Fuck, yes,” Dex groaned against her neck as he thrust up. Careful not to breach her. But when he slid along her clit, the promise of him entering her caused her to gasp and arch.

  She couldn’t wait. She fumbled with the condom and blindly reached between them to get it on him. She never took her hands from him. As soon as it was on, she gripped the base and sank down.

  “Jesus.” He pulled her closer and surged his hips up, impaling her even farther. “Every damn time is better than the last,” he said, and the words hit somewhere deep in her chest. Because that’s how she felt. She wasn’t cooling off for Dex; she was getting hotter. Needier. And it was getting better, not worse.

  She whipped her hips in his lap, taking him deep. He wrapped her legs around him and took over the movement. Yanking her into him while he surged up. She saw stars, and the flecks of water hitting her skin were infused with some kind of snapping sparkles. Or her skin was just a live wire. Either way, she felt him. All over her, in her, everywhere.

  She was already fighting off an instant orgasm, because she didn’t want it to end. She wanted to keep feeling him, keep having him.

  “Don’t hold back,” he said as if sensing she was trying to do just that. “Come for me. Let go and give it up, baby.”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  With one arm wrapped around her waist, the other came up to grip her hair, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

  “I want you to come,” he said and thrust harder.

  She bit her lip because she was going to. Any moment, the sparks of pleasure already flying through her veins like freshly lit dynamite would engulf her completely.

  “No,” she said around gritted teeth.

  “Why?” he asked as he continued pumping in and out.

  Because I don’t want this to end.

  She couldn’t say it out loud. Couldn’t even admit it to herself. Because this was the end. It had to be. When she met his gaze, something honest and a little scared flickered across his face. She had to take control. Had to feel him, please him, if only to pretend she was independent.

  She tightened her grip and threw herself into him as powerfully as she could.

  “Whoa there, princess…” he said. But instead of slowing down, he sped up. His grip tightened, and he fused his mouth over hers.

  Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t hold back. She screamed with her release as it flooded like a dam breaking beneath her skin, and Dex caught every octave of her cries with his mouth and swallowed them down.

  His body tensed as his own climax hit him. And yet he continued to thrust.
Even when she was spent, he kept those heady aftershocks kicking through her. She clung to the fading pleasure of her orgasm the same way she was clinging to the fading pleasure of being with him. But seconds later, the pleasure was gone, the same way she knew this relationship would be.

  “I think we were successful in getting dirty and clean at the same time,” she breathed against his mouth, keeping him inside of her and refusing to unlock her legs. A more independent woman wouldn’t cling like this. Which was what terrified her. Because she should let go. Should be the woman she’d been trying to be. Instead she just hugged him harder. Because once she finally let go, she’d let go for good.

  He brushed a palm over her face and smiled. “You’re right. And just think, we could also count this as water training.”

  She gave a small laugh. “Best training ever.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Dex couldn’t put it off any more. Maybe after tonight, Michelle would want to discuss where to go from here. This didn’t have to be over. Maybe they could make some kind of relationship work. He just had to see if she was open to that. He had strong hopes that she was. She’d clung to him, held him, and wrapped around him like she didn’t want to let go. Surely this couldn’t be just about sex and her list…

  So he sent her a text inviting her to one final survival lesson. If he succeeded, she’d stick around with the guy no one stuck with. If he failed…

  He wouldn’t fail. Failure wasn’t a part of his reality.

  His phone buzzed with a text.

  Michelle: What exactly is GPS training?

  Dex: Getting lost in the dark and finding your way. We can practice in your bedroom. Fair warning. I may have to use my hands excessively to feel my way around you.

  A few seconds passed. He waited like a teenager hoping his first crush showed any sign of interest. Jesus, he had it bad.

  Then her reply came.

  Michelle: I’ll meet you at your place as soon as I close the shop.