Spellkeeper

by Courtney Privett

  “I'm not ready to show you. I thought I was, but it's too much,” Radamar whispered, his voice so shaky it was nearly unintelligible.

  “You'll never be ready, but once you show us, your fear will be gone. Mine will be, too, because I'm going to reveal myself along with you. We're safe, Radamar. With each other, especially.”

  “The truths we reveal don't break us, they bind us,” Iefyr said. Slowly, he unlaced his tunic and pulled it over his head.

  Several distinctive scars rose from the brown of his skin, but the most startling began just below his heart, wrapped around his ribs and flank, and disappeared onto his back.

  Radamar traced the scar with a cautious fingertip. “What did this to you?”

  Iefyr swayed side to side, then shrugged. “My uncle. Uncles, really. My mother's brothers, not my father's. My parents thought we were safe in Tidegarden, protected by the Sealash clan. For sixteen years, we lived in this lie that insisted if the Ironwoods were going to come after us, they already would have. They knew exactly where we were, but they waited. They wanted us to be happy, wanted us to feel like we had safety and a future. They waited. They waited for more children, for more years spent unsuspecting, and then they waited a little longer until my happy and content mother was pregnant for the sixth time.

  “I was collecting crabs on the shore when I heard my little sisters screaming. I ran back home, but it was already too late, and a fire was spreading through the rafters. Assaulted, violated, dying in agony from wounds intended to linger in the inevitable. My brother was already dead, and so was my father, reaching for my mother as she bled out on the floor. The twin sons she had carried were laid out in front of her, taken too early and gasping for breaths they were too little to take. She looked up at me with blood in her eyes and her skin gray, and said, 'Kill them, Iefyr. Kill them and live.'

  “Ieki cried out somewhere nearby. She was in a cupboard behind our father. He must have hid her there and then blocked the door with his body as they killed him. And they were still there, my uncles. One of them jumped on my back with a scythe and tried to gut me like a fish. I slammed him into a wall and put an iron fire poker through his skull. The other two uncles went for Ieki, joking that they'd do to her what they did to our other sisters. I took that scythe to them before they could touch her, then I let Ieki out, put her outside, and told her to run to our grandparents, away from the fire. With the flames growing overhead, I laid on the floor next my mother and held her as she died. We both knew that what the Ironwoods did was carefully planned out as a punishment for her, to maximize her suffering before she died herself. They incapacitated her, then violated and slaughtered her husband and children in front of her while telling her she did this herself by dishonoring their family. The way she spoke to me before she lost consciousness . . . she thought I was dying too. With my wounds, I should have been. I told her Ieki was safe, that I'd saved her. She whispered an orcan death blessing, 'You travel to the Houses of the Dead with honor and grace, my son. Your father will meet you there,' then closed her eyes.

  “I don't remember what happened next. I woke in the infirmary, covered in sutures and with burns on my legs and back. My orcan grandfather had dragged me out of the fire. He saved me, and then he helped sew my broken pieces back together.” Iefyr drew a strident breath, then looked down at his chest. “But every time I see the scars, the memories rush upon me like a stampede. And I feel guilty, and I blame myself for being on the shore instead of at home, but I couldn't have protected them. If I'd been home, I would have been killed too, just out of spite, just to punish my mother. When I see my body, I try to remember that these scars are reminders that Ieki is only alive because of me, but that truth is overshadowed by the memories. I've never been able to look at myself or let anyone else see, except one person, who cried and couldn't bring herself to touch me even though she wanted me before. I forgave her for that, and I'm glad I did because she died shortly after. But I see both of you now, and you're both looking at me not with pity, but with understanding. I guess I never expected that. I expected I'd always be alone.”

  “Kindred souls, united,” Benny said. She brushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed him. “You're so beautiful. You're not alone anymore, Iefyr. Gods-willing, you never will be again.”

  Next to her, Radamar sobbed through a smile. “She held the knife to me and said, 'I'll write the truth in your flesh so that on your deathbed, the nurse tasked to wash the filth from your body looks upon you in horror and leaves you instead to rot. I enjoyed gelding you, but I may enjoy this even more.' And they did, you know? When I was in that infirmary in Aurandaria, not one person could see to my medical needs without expressing their revulsion.”

  He stood, stepped away from them, then slipped out of his tunic and pants. Words were scarred into his torso and thighs, angry purple letters with even angrier meanings. Slaver. Murderer. Liar. Thief. Monster. Traitor. There were others, too, circling his back and disappearing beneath his undergarments. His legs trembled as he stared meekly at the wall. “The thing is, they're true. They are true for me, and for Ranalae, and just about everyone else in the Nightshadow line. I was bred to be all of these things.”

  “But you're not those words. Not anymore. If there is a deity of second chances, you are firmly in their favor.” Benny stood, then pulled him into an embrace. “You sought redemption. You sacrificed for it. And you found it.”

  Radamar stepped back from her and into Iefyr's arms. Iefyr kissed the top of his head and whispered, “I love you. You don't need to be afraid anymore.”

  A nervous giggle escaped Benny's lips as she watched them sway together. “All I want to do right now is take you two straight to bed.”

  Iefyr grinned and beckoned to her as he backed Radamar toward the bed.

  Benny's cheeks flushed.

  Radamar gazed fondly at her as he leaned against Iefyr. “Benny, for what it's worth, I always thought the spells on you were beautiful. The way they swirl and spiral around each other to embrace every curve of your body, it's beautiful. I know you were tortured and brutalized as you received them, but they're a part of you now. I think Iefyr will see you the same way I do.”

  Iefyr sat on the edge of the bed and held out his hand. “Come here.”

  I'm safe now. They're safe, she thought to herself as she wiggled her tunic over her head and her pants off her hips. She kicked off her undergarments and stood before them. Her arms, legs, and back were patterned with intricate layer upon layer of scarred and tattooed runes and spells. Her abdomen, breasts, and a few other small areas had been left unmarred to allow for the skin changes of pregnancy and nursing, but Ranalae had told her that spells would eventually fill every usable bit of her flesh. She turned around and let them take in the nearly-full spell coverage of her back side.

  “You are magnificent,” Iefyr said with a gasp.

  “She is, isn't she?” Radamar said. He was behind her, his hands on her hips and his breath warm on her neck. He rocked onto his toes and whispered in her ear, “Go to Iefyr.”

  She spun on her heels and smiled at him. “Only if you come with me.”

  Benny kissed Radamar, then took his hand and led him to Iefyr. Of all the strange things that had happened in her life, this strange thing was the only one that felt completely right.

  IT TOOK NEARLY A WEEK for Radella to become comfortable with Benny, but now, two weeks after their reunion, the little girl was as loving with her as she might have been had they never been separated. Radella wanted all of her parents with her all the time, including Iefyr, who she had warmed to immediately and to whom she was happily and patiently teaching basic sign language. She clung to Radamar most fiercely, and often told him she was afraid he would leave her again.

  She was with him now, collecting shells on the beach while Benny sat with her own parents on a nearby mosaic patio. Every few minutes, Radella ran over to give Benny a kiss before dashing back across the sand to rejoin her father.

  “Sh
e looks like a full-blooded elf,” Mordegan said, gazing fondly at his granddaughter.

  “She's going to be too tall for an elf, though,” Benny said. She plucked an orange segment from a bowl of mixed fruit and popped it in her mouth. “Radamar isn't fully elven. I don't think any of the Nightshadows were, by design. He had a halfling great-grandfather on his mother's side. That must be where those lovely brown eyes of his came from. Radella has them too, and I think they're beautiful.”

  “Halfling, huh?” Mordegan sipped some sort of murky and pale blue concoction from his glass and nodded.

  “Lucky little girl,” Urzal said, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. “Strong ancestries and more family to love her than most. Two grandmothers, a grandfather, two fathers, and a mother, and that's just here in Auberline today. Where is that little half-orc of yours, my dear? I haven't seen him yet this morning.”

  “Raiding your library, Mama Urzal,” Benny said with a laugh. “You've met my brother Ragan, right? Iefyr might be the only person I've ever met who appreciates books more than he does.”

  “Good man.”

  “Yes, he is. That's why we're keeping him.”

  Mordegan leaned back in his chair and grinned. “Iefyr's brilliant. One of the best operatives I ever had. Kid's been through some shit in his life, so it's been nice to see him happy these past few days. You too, Benny. And your elf. Can't say I expected this, but if it works for the three of you and makes you all happy, I'm delighted to add a Sealash our family.”

  «Tradition and conventions can go sard it,» Berra said, giggling. «You grew up in an unusual family, so it only makes sense for you to create one of your own.»

  Benny ate another orange, then wiped her hands on a napkin and sighed. «You know we can't stay here, right? There are people looking for me, and if I stay in Auberline too long, the wrong person is going to see me and report me to officials. Don't say anything to Elsin or Juna. They think we're following them to the Guardian's sanctuary once winter passes.»

  Worry crossed Berra's face as she touched a hand to her mouth. «I know, baby. They want your magic. I can't keep you locked up here out of sight.»

  «We've already come up with an idea,» Urzal said. She nodded toward Brezva's Grace.

  «Going to drop us off on some island?» Benny asked.

  Berra shook her head. «No, not an island. We know this place, a cove two days north on the Azure Coast. I think it's technically in the Amethyst Realm, but no one cares to drag it into their borders because it's so remote they don't know it's there. It's a flat spread of bay sheltered by mountains and you can't even see it from the water, so ships just pass by it without noticing. Nice forest, freshwater streams coming down from the mountains, space for building and farming, plenty of fish, and uninhabited except for a couple other exiles I've taken there. Don't worry about them. There are only six of them plus their children, and they're safe. My crew and I built an outpost there years ago so there is shelter and you won't have to crowd my exiles. If there was ever a place to hide in the world, that is it.»

  It sounds incredibly lonely, Benny thought, but her sensibilities rose to argue with her. «That sounds like it might work.»

  «We'll need to wait a couple months if you decide you want to set up a homestead there. It's reefwalker mating season on the upper Coast so it's impassable until spring. You'll need to stay on the grounds until then, but it will give us time to stock the ship with everything we need to start our new life.»

  «We? Our?» Benny tilted her head to take in Mordegan's smirk.

  Mordegan shrugged. «You didn't think we were going to drop you four off to fend for yourselves, did you? We're going with you. I sent for Belda and the kids that first town we came to after I had a little conversation with Kemi. They were staying halfway here from Jadeshire anyway, so my hope is they'll be here with plenty of time before we leave. I'm sending a note with Juna for Ragan, written in one of the obscure languages he reads.»

  «I think Kemi and Tessen are coming with us,» Benny said as a silver flash caught her eye.

  «They'll have to show up first,» Mordegan said.

  Benny nodded toward a grouping of dolphin-shaped topiaries. «Aren't those their dragons?»

  “Aw, hell. It's about sarding time.” Mordegan stood and walked toward the largest topiary, which was currently being inspected by a young solar dragon. He embraced the tall young man, tousled his black curls, and said, “How are you doing, kid?”

  Tessen regarded him with weariness in his odd-colored dragon eyes, which were made even larger and brighter by his spectacles. “I was doing better, but then we came into Auberline and it started to come back. In this place it's better again because there are only a few people. I don't think I can stay in the city for long.”

  “I think if you can hang out on the manor grounds for a while without losing your shit again we've got a solution for you. Or at least a location.” Mordegan nodded toward Benny. “Go sit by my daughter. We've got some people you need to be introduced to.”

  Kemi held Tessen's hand as they followed Mordegan to the patio. Benny thought their body language was strange, as if they were uncomfortable with each other but still wanted to be close. The guard who had escorted them turned around and followed the path back toward the gate house.

  Berra and Urzal stood to greet them.

  Mordegan stared at Kemi and Tessen's intertwined hands for a moment, then raised an eyebrow and turned toward Berra to speak and sign simultaneously. “I have the pleasure of introducing you to Benny's mother. This is Captain Berra Autumngold and her wife, Commander Urzal Bladestorm. Berra is deaf and so is Benny's little girl, so make sure you're facing them and not mumbling when you speak.” He scratched his nose and signed, «It seems Tessen Lim and Kembriana Lightborn have arrived. To be honest, I wasn't expecting them to. He's a stubborn little sard.»

  “Only most of the time,” Tessen grumbled.

  Mordegan's nose scrunched as he regarded Tessen. “Shit. Do you know Bacran Sign Language?”

  Tessen tapped a finger against his spectacle frames. “No, but apparently I can translate it when I'm wearing these. It's kind of bizarre. The gestures become words that hang in the air for the moment and then evaporate. Different words are different colors, too. My name is a golden yellow. Kemi's is emerald green.”

  Berra slowly circled Tessen, then stopped in front of him and looked up. She was only a fingerbreadth taller than Kemi and the top of her head barely reached his shoulder. She scowled and said, «You look like your uncle.»

  “Is he here?” Tessen asked.

  Berra shrugged. «Somewhere. He's been keeping strange hours. So has Juna.»

  “Uldru are nocturnal by necessity.” He put his arm around Kemi, then kissed the top of her head. “You feel familiarity. Is it my uncle, or have you met my mother, too?”

  «I've met you.» She smiled as she indicated toward Radella, who screeched in glee as Radamar flipped her upside down and held her above a crashing wave. «You were just a little thing, younger than my granddaughter is now. I delighted you with a little bit of blue magic. You were such a sweet child that I almost thought about asking Mordegan to give me another baby. Almost.» She winked and regarded Kemi with suspicion. «Never thought I'd see a Lightborn on my property.»

  “She's okay, Mom,” Benny said and signed after tapping Berra's arm. She moved closer to see Kemi's face better. “That laceration is healing well. I don't think it will scar badly. Does it still hurt?”

  Kemi slowly raised her hand and touched her cheek. “Sometimes. It itches.”

  “Scars tend to do that as they heal. Try not to scratch at it.” She held up her hand and wiggled her fingers. “I have the same problem right now. Iefyr makes a salve that helps with the itch.”

  “So do I, but I really can't stand the smell of it right now.” Kemi eased herself from under Tessen's arm and faced Berra. “Benny didn't tell us her mother is Captain Autumngold. I'm honored to meet you, Captain.”


  «Likewise, Princess,» Berra said and Benny translated. «We need to have a few words later. I have a plan for you. A place to go. I just finished telling Benny about it.»

  Kemi's lopsided smile would have been taken as a smirk if not for her facial injury. “That sounds wonderful.” Her blue eyes widened and she glanced toward Tessen. “You're a ship Captain, right? And sea elf Captains are all ordained by Brezva? I have an odd question for you if you're so inclined to answer. If someone were to have a wedding officiated by the ship's Captain, would the union be reported in papers sent to the Crown clerks for filing like it would be for a standard wedding on land officiated by a vicar or magistrate?”

  «Princess, Urzal and I are both properly ordained by the Temple of the Raging Sea, and ceremonies conducted on my ship are no business of the Crown's.» Berra's ears twitched as her eyes traveled the length of Kemi's body. «So, how far along are you?»

  «Mom, I can't ask her that,» Benny objected.

  “She's not...” Tessen started, but then glanced toward Kemi with uncertainty in his eyes.

  “What? What are they saying?” Kemi asked.

  Berra shrugged. «She is. I don't know, maybe she's too early to know it herself for sure, but she is. I've never been wrong about it, not with any of my crew members in the same state. I think she knows, though. That's why she just asked if I can marry the two of you without her father finding out.»

  Tessen's cheeks flushed. “If that's true, it happened no more than three weeks ago and we made vows to each other first.”

  Kemi grabbed his arm and leaned against him. “What did she say to you?”

  «Go ahead and translate, Benny,» Berra said, then crossed her arms over her chest.

  Benny shook her head and faced Berra. “No. That's none of my business.” She raised an eyebrow as her attention returned to Tessen. “Wait, you married her?”

  “Unofficially,” Kemi said as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. “Don't tell Elsin. Please. He's loyal to my mother, and if she finds out...”