Guided Love (Prick #1)

by Tracie Redmond

  Without a word, he takes my hand and walks me to the kitchen. Still not talking, he pulls out a chair and motions for me to sit. I do and just look down. A few seconds later, he is pouring a shot of something in a shot glass. He pushes it in my direction and I look up to see him pouring one for himself. My body is screaming NO while my head is replaying everything that happened tonight. From the conversation with Camaron in the tub, to him telling me I look good, to him having his arms wrapped around a Barbie and kissing her with passion. Like he couldn’t get enough of her.

  “To forgetting,” I look up, take my shot, and toast with Axel.

  “To forgetting.”

  I am hoping that Axel will continue to pour us some more but after the one, he takes the glasses and puts them in the sink. Again, without a word, he heads to his drawer, pulls out two spoons, grabs the ice cream from the freezer, and motions with his head, “Movie time.”

  I look up again and follow him towards the couch. He sets the ice cream and spoons on the coffee table and heads down the hall. Before I sit down and get his couch all muddy, I kneel on the floor and sit on my legs. I look up to see Axel walking toward me holding a pair of jogging pants.

  “For you.”

  Tears come to my eyes because, right now, this simple gesture means so much to me. “Thank you,” I whisper.

  Without thinking, I stand up and take off my dirty pajama bottoms and start to put Axel’s sweats on. It’s not like I'm going commando and it’s not like Axel would ever look at me like that anyway. I also know that if I go into a room by myself, I’ll end up crying my eyes out on the floor. I sit down on the couch, cross my legs, and wait to see what we are going to watch.

  “Comedy or horror,” Axel hasn’t said more than two words at a time to me.

  I honestly can say he is treading in deep water and he knows it. He is trying to get the basics out of me and not push me to my breaking point. This is another moment that I want to just cry, because this man, that I have known for four months, only four months, gets me. He knows what I am feeling and he knows how to handle me. He is giving me space. He is giving me the escape I need.

  “Horror, please.” He nods and goes to the shelf that is holding all of his DVDs and looks through them.

  “Bloody okay?”

  With a mouthful of chocolate peanut butter I say, “The bloodier the better.” He nods like he gets it.

  We end up watching The Hills Have Eyes Two and, yes, there was tons of blood. I feel myself starting to doze off. I snuggle down in my corner of the couch and I feel Axel put a blanket across me. As he is up getting himself a cover, I hear a knock at the door. I don't open my eyes because, honestly, I don’t care. I hear the door open and Camaron’s voice.

  “Where is she?”

  “Sleeping.”

  Camaron’s voice takes a different octave now he is a little annoyed with Axel's answer. “Where is she sleeping, she better not be sleeping in your bed Axel.”

  Axel gives a little laugh, I can hear him and he is egging Camaron on. “What does it matter to you if she is in my bed? Last I knew, you already had someone warming your bed and it wasn’t Samantha.”

  Camaron is pissed now I can hear it in his voice. “It’s Sam, Axel, her fucking name is Sam. Not Samantha, just Sam, and she is my best friend. I don’t want her to get hurt by sleeping in some prick’s bed.” I squeeze my eyes a little tighter and mentally tell myself to just lie there not get up and face him.

  “Oh, so if she sleeps with me, I would be the one to hurt her. It wouldn’t be the fact that her best friend, the selfish prick himself, had her move here to live with him, all the while knowing she was in love with you. You knew that Samantha has wanted to be with you and you still gave her hope when there was no hope to give.”

  “Fuck you, Axel, you don’t know shit about me and Sam.”

  Again, I can hear Camaron and the emotion in his voice but I also hear Axel laughing at him.

  “Yeah, fucker, I don't know shit. All I do know is that when I got home, I found your best friend, my friend, sitting her gorgeous ass out on the front stoop in her pajamas, barefoot. I know that, without saying a word, I could look at her and see something crushed her tonight: you. I also could tell you that I am staring at a man who is so fucking stupid that he is going to lose the best thing life has ever given him. You are going to lose her, Camaron. You are going to break a friendship that should be strong enough to weather the storm and you are going to piss it away. That, my friend, is all I know.” I am not too sure what Camaron said in response because it was mumbled, but I can say that he slammed the door to our apartment and Axel shut his and again let out a little chuckle.

  I wake up from the worse nightmare that I have ever had, then I open my eyes and realize that it wasn’t a nightmare, it really happened. I look at the clock on the wall and see that is only 7:20. I sit up, stretch, and see that Axel is on the other end of the couch. I know I won’t be able to ignore Camaron forever. I mean, I not only work for him, I also freaking live with him. I fold the blanket and head to the kitchen to see if I could find something I can write on to leave a note for Axel. I find a small tablet and a marker in the drawer.

  Axel—Thank you, once again, for saving me. I really appreciate everything you have done for me. It seems like you are becoming my knight in shining armor. I headed home to change and get the shop up and running for y’all. Thanks again! Samantha

  I open up the door to my apartment and everything looks normal. I don’t know what I expected; I really didn’t want to walk in on Camaron and Roni going at it on the couch or something. Yeah, I know I am being dramatic but that’s me. I tip toe down the hallway and hope that Camaron doesn’t hear me, but see that his door is shut. I exhale and open my door to grab some clothes so I can head down to the shop before anyone else. I open my door and stop because Camaron is sleeping on my bed.

  What the fuck? I shake my head and just continue toward my closet. The dresser could cause too much noise and wake him and I am so not ready to face him yet. I know I may be over reacting, I mean she may be just another chicken head, but if that was the case why would he have brought her home? Either way, now is not the time for me to be thinking of this. I need to get in and out without making any noise. I get the closet opened and realize that I am going to have to dress up a little for work as all of my jeans and shirts are in my freaking dresser. I grab a knee length jean skirt and a black shirt that has one of the sides fall off the shoulder. Yep, this to me is a club outfit but not today—today it’s a ‘go to work and lock yourself in your office’ outfit. I grab the boots that I have off the closet floor and make my way to the door. I don’t dare shut it—I am not taking that risk and I make my way to the bathroom to get ready.

  I really like getting to the shop early to get everything ready for the pricks. Once finished, I make my way to my office where I shut and lock the door. I really don’t want any distractions. I am talking with a printer regarding new t-shirts, when there is a knock on my door.

  “Rice Cake, it’s me, open up,” I hear Carrie say as she keeps banging on the door. A constant knock, no pause in between. I place the call on speakerphone since I’m on hold at the moment anyway. I open the door and see her standing there with the goofiest face I have ever seen.

  “Hey, Chica, what's going on? You haven’t come out of the office since I got here. Damn, RC, you look hot in that outfit.” I hold my finger up to show her to give me just a moment as she bounces down on the horrific brown couch.

  I finish the call, look up, and ask, “So, did you meet Roni, too?”

  She bolted right up with a look of shock on her face. “How did you know about Roni?”

  I start to fiddle with all the papers in front of me and try to avoid eye contact. “Spill it, babe. Something happened because you are avoiding everyone by hiding out in here.”

  I tell her everything—all the details about the texts, bath tub discussion and how Roni and I met. I even told her about Axel and ho
w, once again, he came to my rescue and how he was egging on Camaron when he came to find me.

  “Wow,” Carrie says.

  “All I get is a ‘wow’?” She sits up, walks to my desk, and then sits directly in front of me.

  “That is just fucked up. Have you ever come out and told Camaron that you wanted to take it to the next level?” I shake my head and grab a snack size Snickers from my drawer.

  “It’s not that easy. I mean, I think he knows the way I feel and I know he feels something more than friendship, I mean look at how we are together.”

  She nods at everything I am saying and gives me comfort when she says, “This might just be a quick screw. Don't let this cheap girl come between y’all. You’ve been his best friend, hell, his ’Anchor’ as he tells everyone, since childhood. I mean, hell, he has your name tattooed on his body. You are important to him, Sam, and if it’s meant to be it will be.”

  She may be right, I may be over reacting to the whole thing as I haven’t even given him the time to explain anything to me. This thing with Roni really may be nothing serious.

  “Thank you, Care Bear, you may be right. I’ll finish up here and head to the store. Maybe I can get a good meal done for him and see what he says.”

  I finish up, close my computer down, and head out to the shop. I am still really nervous to look at Camaron, to face him and see if there is anything in his eyes that tells me I lost him. I walk out and see that he isn't there and I can’t ask where he is because that will just make me look desperate. I walk up to Carrie and let her know I am heading out. I leave and go up to the apartment to start dinner. As I walk into the apartment, I notice the quiet. Camaron is obviously not here, he would be sprawled out on the couch, probably watching another rerun of Family Guy. I head into the kitchen and look to see what there is here that I can make. I settle on Parmesan breaded chicken breast with fresh carrots and salad. Everything is prepared and the chicken is in the oven, I go to my room to freshen up and see a note on my pillow.

  Sam~

  I am so sorry for getting you upset. I don't know what happened. I went next door to Axel’s to check on you and I guess you needed space, as you never came home. I am lost here and you won't talk to me. I have been lying here, on your bed, wondering how the fuck I screwed this up. Sam, you are my best friend, my anchor, babe, and I can't imagine losing you but it feels like I am. All I want is to go back to being us. Being Sam and Camaron. You know that you are important to me, babe, it’s always been you. Please forgive me, talk to me, let’s get back to us.

  Love you, Cam.

  I put the letter down and start to cry. Seriously, Carrie is right, I should not let Roni come between us. Camaron and I are solid, we have always been solid, and nothing and no one will rock this. I hear the timer go off and jog out to the kitchen. I pull everything out of the oven and get it all situated on the table when the door opens. I look up and see Camaron walking backwards through the door kissing and groping Roni. I must have put the bowl down a little louder than normal as they stopped and looked my way.

  “Hi,” my voice cracked with nervousness I was feeling.

  “Hey, Sam, wow you made dinner. That’s awesome, I’m starving.”

  Camaron grabs Roni's hand and makes his way into the kitchen. “Yeah, I thought I would cook the chicken before it went bad.”

  Camaron looks up with those gorgeous eyes and smiles. “Well, thank you, it looks and smells delicious. Is there enough for three?”

  I smile and nod. “Of course, please enjoy.”

  I see that Roni is not happy with eating here, so I start to leave the kitchen. “Aren't you eating with us?”

  I look at Camaron's face and I see that he is looking at me with concern.

  “Of course, I just need to go get my phone plugged into the charger.” He has a smile on his face like I just gave him the best news ever.

  “Okay,” he winks at me and turns around while Roni stands there glaring at me. With a little attitude, I give her a little smile and head to my room.

  I plug my phone into the charger and stand in front of my mirror, giving myself a once over. I grab the brush and try to make myself look a little more presentable. As I start to go back to the kitchen, I stop a moment at the door and take a deep breath. “I can do this,” I keep chanting in my head, I can get through this. I exhale all of my insecurities and head out to the kitchen. Camaron and Roni already have plates made. I sit down at the table with Camaron to my right and Roni across from me. I grab a piece of chicken and put some salad on my side plate.

  “This is great, Sam, really, it definitely hit the spot,” Camaron says as adds more carrots to his plate.

  I look over and see Roni moving the food across her plate but she hasn’t really eaten anything, I guess that is how she keeps her perfect figure. As she is bringing one carrot to her mouth, she actually speaks to me. “Yeah, Sam this is really good, I guess a lover of food would know how to cook though, right.”

  I smile at her and bring my water to my mouth and just nod. “I wouldn’t say that, I absolutely love food and I don’t know how to cook,” Camaron chimes in.

  “That you can't,” I agree with him with a laugh.

  The dinner felt awkward the entire time, but at least I can say I tried. Everyone finishes and I stand to gather all the dishes, “Let me help with that, beautiful.” I look over my shoulder and see that Camaron is grabbing the remaining dishes and helping me take them to the counter.

  “Camaron, this isn't your place, you go give me those and I’ll help, Sam,” Roni says.

  In my head, I pray that he doesn’t listen to her; I’m not sure how much more I can take tonight. But, of course, it’s just my luck when he hands them off and kisses her cheek. “Thanks, babe, my two girls getting along; this makes me the happiest man around.”

  I can see that she has faked a smile and is walking towards me with her hands full.

  “Thank you, Roni, I appreciate your help.”

  “No problem, I appreciate the dinner. I need to keep my energy up, Camaron is so insatiable. I am happy if I can walk every day.”

  Damn, that’s a bullet to the heart. I don't know what to say and I can feel my heart start to race and my face is turning red. I try to laugh it off but it’s forced and I think Roni can tell, since she’s just standing next to me while I wash to wash the dishes as she examines my face, looking for a reaction.

  I’m saved from another awkward conversation with Roni when I hear, “Damn, something smells delicious in here.”

  Axel comes walking in along with Cam. They grab couple of beers from the fridge and sit at the table. Roni takes off and sits there as well. Thank goodness, I can breathe again.

  “Would you like a plate, Axel? I have plenty here.” I look over my shoulder and see Axel’s dark eyes sparkling—he looks like he is . . . content.

  “That would be great, Samantha,” he says as he stands and makes his way to me. “Please let me help you. Point me in the direction of the food and I’ll make sure to take all of that off your hands.”

  I start to laugh and finally feel comfortable with the situation. We make our way back to the table and take a seat. The conversation is awesome, and I feel a little bad as Camaron, Axel and I are discussing the shop and the way we need the business to go, as well as the locals and their antics at Kester's. Poor Roni is just sitting there trying to chime into the conversation but there is no hope and that makes me feel like I have won a little in this silent battle between us.

  Speaking of Kester’s, we decide to head there to get a drink and shoot some pool. We sit at our table and order a round. Camaron is telling Roni and Axel a few of the stories of when we were younger and the look on Roni's face is set in stone. She is not enjoying this one bit.

  “Oh my god, Sam, I feel bad. When did you date if you and Cam were always together? I mean, wow, it seems like Camaron took up all of your time,” she says this with her snarky attitude that, of course, no one else notices but me.
>
  “I dated some, but it seemed that Camaron never approved of anyone. Did you, Cam?” I nudge Camaron with my shoulder and he looks down at me and winks and believe me Roni sees this.

  “It’s always been you and me, babe. You’re my anchor.”

  “Well, Camaron, I think it’s a dick move to do that to your best friend. I mean she is only your BEST FRIEND, right?” We all turn and see Roni is pissed now, she really is.

  Immediately, Camaron wraps his arms around her and nuzzles in her ear whispering sweet nothings, probably. She starts to giggle and squirms in her chair. I didn’t think I could feel any worse until I heard it. I heard what he whispered.

  “You know I love you, baby,” he said it.

  He said ‘I love you’ and he said it to her. My hands start to shake as I am sitting there staring at them—it’s like a car accident, I can’t look away. I feel like my world has just shattered, I am about to run, I feel it. I need to get the hell out of here before I make a complete idiot of myself. I scoot my chair back and before I can make a move, Axel grabs my hand and leans in to my ear and whispers, “Just breathe, it will be okay.”

  I look at him, with his cocky smile on his face and I can’t help but believe him, it’s going to be okay.

  “You know I love you, baby.”

  Once I heard Camaron say that to his girlfriend my first reaction was to look at Samantha. All color left her face and she looked like she was about to run. Her hands started to shake and she was in a panic. I took her tiny hand and wrapped mine around hers. I leaned in and whispered to her that everything would be okay. Damn, I’ll make sure everything would be okay as she truly deserves to find happiness. She looks like a deer in headlights as she gazes up at me with her tear-filled eyes. I stand up and, hand in hand, I walk her towards the dance floor. I put some cash into the jukebox and choose a few songs.

  “What are we doing, Axel? I should just go. I'm not really in the mood to listen to music right now.”