Song Chaser (Chasers)

by Kandi Steiner

  I throw up my hands in surrender and she smiles, kissing me quickly before leaning up on her elbow to look in my eyes. She’s chewing the inside of her cheek, like she’s nervous about what she’s about to ask. I’m really hoping she’s not going to ask how many girls I’ve been with. I’m not ready to go there with her and I don’t think she really wants the answer, either.

  Finally, she exhales and a little cloud of her breath filters up around us. “I want you to tell me what it was about Paisley that you loved.”

  Shit. I change my mind, ask me how many girls I’ve been with.

  “That’s not a question.”

  She rolls her eyes, “Tanner, what was it about Paisley that made you fall in love with her?”

  I sigh, leaning up a little and pulling Kellee on my lap. She’s straddling me now and I have to remind myself again to focus on the question at hand, but honestly it’s the last thing I want to talk about. My cock is one frictional move away from standing at full attention.

  Down, boy.

  “Frecks, I don’t think we should talk about this, not right now. I’ve had such a shitty day and the only thing that’s made it better is being here with you right now. I don’t want to ruin that by talking about another girl.”

  Kellee smiles softly, but keeps her persistence. “I know, I’m having a good night, too. But Tanner, I need to know more about her. I’m going to meet this girl tomorrow and it scares the hell out of me,” she says, biting her lower lip. “And if there’s ever going to be an us, like I hope there is, then I need to know about your past. Especially about her.”

  I can’t help it, a shit-eating grin spreads on my face and I pull her a little closer. “You want there to be an us?”

  She laughs, “Yes. Well, maybe – depends on how long I can stand to put up with your shitty pick-up lines.”

  “You love my pick-up lines.”

  “And you’re avoiding the question.”

  I sigh again, realizing I’m not going to win this argument. “Okay, fine.” Where do I even start? Why did I fall in love with Paisley?

  Then I realize, I really didn’t have a choice.

  “It wasn’t something I planned, falling for her. When we first met, she fit into the girl best friend category perfectly. She was always there for me when I needed her and there was no pressure to be anything I wasn’t,” I bite my lip as Kellee’s face changes. I know this can’t be easy for her to hear. “Are you sure you want to talk about this?”

  Kellee nods, “I’m fine, Tanner. I want to know.”

  “Okay,” I continue, still not sure. “Ever since I was really young, I’ve always wondered about my favorite songs. I’ve been obsessed with music ever since I can remember, and I was even more into the lyrics. I was always questioning them. What girl was each song written for? Does every artist have a girl in mind, or do they just write to an imaginary muse? Well, I started dreaming of my perfect girl, of what she would look like and act like. One night, Paisley and I were out together and I just remember one of my favorite songs came on and literally every lyric reminded me of her. After that, every song that I listened to made me think of her in some way or another. It was like all at once, everything I had been looking for in my perfect song, in my perfect girl, was right there in front of me.”

  “But I was too scared to tell her,” I admit, looking down at the fabric of the soft navy blue blanket I packed for tonight. “And when I finally got the balls to say something, I was too late. I took her to our favorite spot, I had everything planned in my head, and then I saw that she was texting another guy. I thought he was just going to be another one of her flings that I’d have to wait through, but the longer I watched how she acted with him, the more I knew. I was too late. He had her.”

  I swallow hard, not sure what else to say. It’s hard to find words to explain why you love someone, they don’t make words with that much passion. And even if they did, there isn’t a perfect combination of syllables and sounds to create a word strong enough to explain love. Love is just a filler word, a useless word that tries to do a job that no word can.

  “You said that Paisley kind of called herself a Tag Chaser, right?”

  I nod, still wrapped in my thoughts.

  “Well, so I guess you’re kind of like a Song Chaser,” I look up at her, my eyebrows raised in confusion as she continues. “She chased military men to escape commitment. You, on the other hand, chase the perfect girl to fit your songs. So it’s kind of like you’re both chasing something, just not the same something.”

  I tilt my head and think on her assessment. I guess it’s a valid point, though I’ve never really thought of it that way. I’ve been called a lot of things, mostly along the lines of “asshole”, but a chaser is not one of them. I don’t chase women, they chase me.

  Well, all of them but Paisley, anyway.

  And Kellee.

  Fuck, I really don’t deserve this girl.

  “Careful there, I think I see smoke from your wheels turning so hard,” Kellee lifts her brow in amusement and smirks.

  “Are you really scared? About tomorrow, I mean?”

  She nods, the smile leaving her face and I really want to kick my own fucking ass because I know I’m the one who’s making her feel this way. I’ve got to figure out some way to make her relax, to make her see that I’m serious about us, too.

  Well, as serious as I can be.

  As serious as my heart will let me be right now.

  “What are you doing tomorrow around two?”

  “I should be getting off from the pizza shop around then, I was going to just relax and then get ready for tomorrow night,” she says. “Why?”

  “Can you come by the hospital when you get off? Just for an hour or so?”

  “I guess,” she says, eying me suspiciously. “What are you up to, Mr. West?”

  I shoot her my half smile, noting how it affects her. I swear I feel every inch of her tighten, which is just enough to make my dick throb in response. “Don’t worry about it.”

  She goes to offer her rebuttal, but I grab her ass and pull her against me harder, letting her feel my hard on as I crush my lips to hers. Her legs shake a little and a soft moan escapes her lips.

  “No more questions.”

  She nods and I pull her closer, gripping her ass in my hands. She runs her fingernails through my hair and then drags them down my back, awakening every nerve in my body. I really want to take her, to make her mine and lose myself completely inside her. But I know I have to take it slow, no matter how bad I want to hear her scream my name.

  Kellee moans as I bite softly down her neck and kiss the swell of her breast, sucking the softness of her skin in little puckers. She arches her back and thrusts into me, rubbing her jeans against mine and making my cock grow.

  Fuck, this girl is going to be the death of me.

  “Goddamn, Frecks. You feel so fucking good and I haven’t even been inside you yet.”

  She moans, her hands gripping at the blanket and pulling it away. I take the opportunity and slip her shirt off, tossing it to the side with the blanket. I should probably be concerned about her catching a cold, but right now the sight of her nipples pebbled and hard and the goose bumps spreading across her midriff have taken over every other thought in my head.

  In both heads.

  I take her in my hands and gently rub each nipple between my fingers, alternating rolling and pinching. Kellee starts rocking against me, the friction between our jeans building.

  “I want you to come like this,” I demand, meeting her eyes with mine.

  “No,” she whines. “I want you. I want you inside me, I want all of you.”

  Damn if I don’t like the way she says that. Holy shit. But tonight’s not the night, even if I really want it to be.

  “Not tonight. I told you, one night I’ll take you. I’ll fuck you harder, longer, and better than you’ve ever been fucked in your life. I will completely own you. But tonight, I want you to come for me li
ke this. And that’s not a question,” I grab her ass and pull her against me harder, increasing the friction before sucking her left nipple into my mouth.

  “Oh God,” she sighs, her head falling back. I palm her other breast and massage it firmly, my fingers rubbing over her nipple in the same manner as my tongue. Fuck, she tastes so damn good. I can’t wait to get inside her, to feel what I felt with my tongue last time.

  “Tanner, I can feel you. You’re so fucking hard,” Kellee moans, rocking steadily against me.

  “All for you, baby. Now come for me.”

  I pick up the pace with my tongue, biting softly around her nipple as her moaning gets louder. I feel her tense and I know she’s close, every muscle in her body is stiff with anticipation as she rocks faster, the friction almost enough to make me come, too. I grab her ass and pull her down harder, rocking up into her at the same time I suck her nipple between my teeth and gently bite down.

  “Oh fuck, oh Tanner, ah,” Kellee cries out, her body shaking all around me. She’s moaning so loud I’m pretty sure someone is going to hear, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to cover her mouth or muffle one single syllable of it. The whole damn city can know my name for all I care.

  She jerks once more before her entire body falls limp on top of me, her naked chest pressed against mine. I lean down and brush the hair from her face, kissing her forehead.

  “You know, you could have been a little louder. I don’t think they heard you down at Central Park.”

  Kellee smiles, “Shut up, ass, or next time I’ll scream someone else’s name.”

  I lift her chin up and meet her eyes with mine, “I don’t want you to ever think of another guy’s name, let alone scream it.”

  Her breathing slows and she swallows deep, “Then I suggest you don’t fuck me over.” She leans up and reaches over for her shirt before I can stop her.

  “Wait, Kellee!” It’s too late, she leans a little too far and we both tumble out of the hammock. We land with a thud, me flat on my back and Kellee on top of me.

  “Oh shit,” she laughs. “I’m so sorry.” She can barely get the last words out because she’s laughing so hard. And I can’t help it, I laugh too.

  “Jesus, we are a fucking mess and a half,” I say, grabbing her shirt and tossing it in her face playfully.

  “Yeah, well – I like it messy,” she smiles and pecks me on the lips before standing up and reaching down for my hand. “Come on, we both have to work in the morning. Plus we have a date with your true love tomorrow night.”

  I roll my eyes and pull her into me as I stand, “I liked it better when you were moaning my name.”

  “Well, if you’re a good boy, maybe I’ll let you make me do it again.” She winks and turns to pick up the blanket.

  Note to self: be a good boy. Please, damn it Tanner – be a fucking good boy.

  Chapter 10

  A Complicated Thing

  Kellee

  “Ugh, this is impossible,” I huff, ripping yet another blouse off over my head and flinging it across the room. I’m never that picky about what I wear, always been a jean and t-shirt kind of girl, but the fact that I still have no idea what I’m wearing tonight is stressing me the fuck out. I mean seriously, shouldn’t they make how-to books for this?

  What To Wear When Meeting The Woman Your Now Kind-Of-Boyfriend Used To Love And Probably Still Does.

  Yeah, they should definitely make one of those.

  I sigh, defeated, and pull a coral v-neck over my head before pulling on my favorite pair of distressed skinny jeans. I’m supposed to meet Tanner at the hospital in an hour, so my time to look for something decent to wear tonight has expired.

  “Hey,” Trista knocks softly on my doorframe before leaning against it and crossing her arms. “You heading out to see lover boy?”

  I smile, wishing I could at least pretend like he isn’t affecting me the way he is. “Yeah. He wants me to meet him at the hospital before our…” I pause, contemplating what to call it. “Thing, tonight.”

  Trista rolls her eyes, “I still can’t believe he’s got you meeting his ex.”

  “They technically never dated,” I try to defend myself.

  “Whatever, close enough. He’s lucky you put up with the shit he asks you to.”

  I grab my jacket and slip it over my shoulders, “If I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t. He doesn’t own me or anything.”

  “You sure about that?” Trista’s eyebrows shoot up and she props her foot on her knee like a fucking flamingo. She always stands like that when she’s cooking, too. Weird, but a little endearing,too.

  I give her the “Pah-lease” glare, but inside I’m not so sure. I know he doesn’t own me, but he does do something to me – something no one else ever has.

  Ugh. I sound like a bad romance movie.

  I sling my purse over my shoulder just as my phone rings, my Mee Ma’s face illuminating the screen. Thank God, I could use a voice of reason right now.

  “I’m heading out. I’ll be home a little later to get ready for tonight, but I have absolutely nothing to wear. Will you help me?” I poke out my pouty lip and bat my lashes at Trista.

  She laughs, “Yes, I’ll help you. But just so we’re clear, I’m not sold on this ‘thing’ tonight yet.”

  “You don’t have to be sold, you just need to make me look hot.”

  “Now that,” she waves her finger at me and smiles. “I can handle.”

  “Thank you, I totally owe you. I’ll text you on my way home.” I offer her one last smile before slipping out the front door and quickly answering my phone, balancing it between my ear and shoulder as I turn the key, “Hey, Mee Ma.”

  “Hi, sweetheart!” she exclaims, her warm voice soothing my nerves. I swear it’s like an instant feeling of calm washes over me the second I hear her voice. “Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice. How are you, Peaches?”

  “Much better now that I’m talking to you, Mee Ma. How’s Seth? How’s Dad?”

  “Oh, they’re fine. Boys being boys, as usual. Your dad is trying out some new invention he conjured up that makes fresh orange juice. I tried to tell him to just get a darn juicer from the store, but you know how he is.”

  I laugh, thinking of all the years I’ve watched my dad think up his crazy inventions. We have a whole garage full of junk that’s accumulated from projects gone wrong. He did make me a pretty awesome Barbie doll house one year, though. “Yep, sounds like dad. And how are you, Mee Ma? Anything new at the church?”

  “Same old same, dear. Pastor James gave a great service last week and had three new people come down to get saved. It was simply wonderful,” her voice fades off a little and I can hear her smiling. Church has always been important to my Mee Ma, and she’s always been important to her church. “Now enough with our boring lives, how’s my city girl? What’s been keeping you so busy these past few weeks that you couldn’t answer an old woman’s phone calls?”

  “Mee Ma, I would probably need a whole hour to tell you everything that’s been going on, but I don’t have much time. Are you ready for the vague and condensed version?”

  “Vague? Why vague?”

  I sigh, struggling with the words to explain. “Let’s just say that right now, it’s a complicated…thing – and kind of on a need to know basis.”

  “Oh honey, you’ve got me cracking my old knuckles over here. What’s going on?”

  I run through as much as I can in the twenty minutes I have on the subway, being careful not to talk too loud just in case someone around me knows Tanner. It may be a big city, but if I’ve learned anything it’s that big cities have bigger mouths and more drama than little towns most of the time. I tell her about meeting Tanner and the whirlwind that’s transpired since that night, including the “thing” happening tonight. I leave out the fact that he gave me the most amazing orgasm I’ve ever had last night without even letting me see his penis because, well, there are just some things grandmas don’t need to know. Mee Ma doesn’t sa
y more than “Mmm hmm” and “I see” the entire time. Finally, when I take a breath, she asks me one simple question.

  “Does he know what color your eyes are?”

  I frown, confused. “What? What in the world does that have to do with anything, Mee Ma?”

  “Just humor an old woman. Does he?”

  I think about the first night Tanner was in my apartment, how he said my eyes were gray. “Kind of, he said that he couldn’t figure out what color my eyes were the night he met me, but then one night he said they were gray.”

  “Hmm,” Mee Ma says, and for the life of me I can’t figure out if that’s a “hmm” I should be intrigued by or scared shitless of. “Well, he needs to look a little closer, but that’s something that can remain to be seen. The real question is, are you ready to meet this Florida girl tonight? Are you sure it’s smart to put yourself through that?”

  Smart isn’t exactly the word for it, I don’t think. Crazy? Yes. Torture? Probably. “I don’t know, Mee Ma – I really don’t. All I really do know at this point is that he needs me there tonight and I’m going. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but something tells me that it’s worth it to find out. It’s just,” I pause, wondering how to phrase the next sentence.

  “You’re afraid of falling for him, aren’t you?”

  I think it’s a little late for that. I’m at least half way off the cliff, at this point. I stay silent, waiting for Mee Ma to say some magical words to make me feel better.

  “Sweetheart, you are not your mother. I know you feel like you are, like if you ever love someone, you’re going to hurt them. But I also know that isn’t the truth. Am I saying you won’t ever make some mistakes along the way? No. But, there’s a selfless quality in you that never existed in your mom. I think it’s part of your father that snuck into your genes when everyone wasn’t looking.”

  I swallow, hoping like hell she’s right. “Is Dad there?”

  This time it’s Mee Ma who hesitates, and I know that my dad is there, but that he still doesn’t want to talk to me. “He’s out and about, you know him.”

  Yeah, I know him.