A Place of Peace

by Amy Clipston

Thank you again for everything. Don’t worry about baking for extra money. I’m going to send you money every month to help cover your expenses.

  All my love,

  Miriam

  Hannah wiped an errant tear and then met Edna’s gaze. “When did you find this?”

  “This morning.” She nodded toward the kitchen counter. “She must’ve packed up and left during the night. I never heard a peep, but I’ve always been a heavy sleeper.”

  Hannah sniffed and folded the letter up. “I don’t understand how things have gone this far. Why would Lilly possibly want to ruin Miriam’s life?”

  Edna’s frown deepened. “The only reason I can imagine is jealousy. I reckon Miriam got something Lilly wanted, but I just can’t figure out what it was.”

  “It ends now. I’m going to set things straight.” Hannah stood and held up the letter. “May I keep this?”

  “Ya.” Edna shook her head, her eyes shining with fresh tears. “If I read it again, I’ll only cry.”

  “I’m going to go have a talk with Daed and Lilly. Do you need anything?”

  Edna sighed. “I just need you to make things right in this family. It’s gone on too long.”

  “I’ll do my best.” Hannah hugged Edna and then headed back to her father’s house, where she found Lilly and Abraham visiting with other family members in the kitchen.

  She asked them to follow her into the laundry room, and she closed the door behind them. “I’ve stayed silent long enough.” She looked back and forth between her father and Lilly.

  “What’s this about, Hannah?” Abraham asked, scowling.

  “It’s about Miriam.” Hannah eyed Lilly, and she could’ve sworn panic flashed in her younger sister’s eyes. “She’s gone. She went back to Indiana.”

  “Gut,” Abraham said, heading toward the door. “That’s where she belongs. Now I’m going to finish my pie.”

  “I’m not finished,” Hannah snapped.

  Abraham faced her, his eyes narrowed to slits. “You don’t talk to me like that, Hannah.”

  “I’m not a child anymore,” Hannah challenged. “You can extend me the courtesy of hearing me out.”

  He folded his arms across his chest. “Make it quick.”

  She glanced at Lilly. “Your youngest daughter here is the one who spread the lies that caused all of this trouble for Miriam.” Hannah trained her eyes on Abraham, ignoring the daggers his glance shot her way. “You may believe Miriam was having affairs behind Timothy’s back, but it simply isn’t true. Also, I don’t believe she was responsible for Jeremy Henderson’s death. There’s a syndrome called Sudden Infant Death. It’s also known as crib death, and it’s completely inexplicable and tragic. No one could’ve saved Jeremy. You’ve misjudged Miriam, and it’s time you forgave her. She’s your dochder. Mamm is gone, and we all miss her. Her death taught us that life is precious, and we need to love each other while we have the chance.”

  Abraham’s expression hardened. “Are you done?”

  “No.” Hannah shook her head. “I’m not done until I hear you will forgive Miriam and tell her she’s your dochder, and you love her.” She looked at Lilly, who was studying the toes of her shoes. “And you, Lillian, what do you have to say for yourself?”

  “You’re out of line, Hannah.” Abraham wagged a finger at her. “Do you need help remembering your place?”

  Hannah folded her arms in defiance. “I think you need to remember yours.”

  Abraham’s eyes widened with shock. “Do you speak to your husband this way?”

  “Only when he needs to be taken down a peg or two. You’re wrong to judge Miriam. Remember the Word, Daed.” She held her head high and quoted one of her favorite Scriptures. “'There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.'”

  Abraham’s eyes softened for a split second, and then his brow furrowed with resentment. “I don’t have to stand here and take this from my own dochder.”

  “Fine. I’ll collect my family, and we’ll leave.” Hannah started for the door, but then turned back to face them one more time.

  “You both should be ashamed of yourselves,” she said, looking between them. “Miriam left this community heartbroken and went back to Indiana, where she has nothing except for a job. She was ready to start a new life here, but you both ruined that. I don’t know how you sleep at night knowing you’ve mortally wounded your own family member. Mamm would be gravely disappointed in both of you.”

  She then marched from the laundry room in search of her family.

  Monday morning, Timothy was sanding a cradle when a hand tapped his shoulder. He wiped his brow and turned to find Daniel.

  “You have a visitor out front,” Daniel said, jerking his thumb toward the showroom.

  Glancing at the clock, Timothy found it was only ten. Since Naomi usually came for lunch around noon, he was certain it couldn’t be her.

  After wiping his hands on a rag and dusting off his clothes, Timothy headed out front and was surprised to find Hannah standing by the sample furniture pieces. He silently marveled at the Lapp family resemblance. While Hannah was approximately two inches taller than Miriam, she had the same dark hair, clear creamy complexion, and brown eyes.

  Hannah met his gaze. “Timothy. Wie geht’s?“

  “Gut. How are you?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “I’m trying to right a wrong that’s been done to my sister.”

  His eyebrows knitted in confusion. “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.”

  “Will you come outside with me?” She gestured toward the door.

  “Of course.” He followed her out to the parking lot, where they walked over to a sedan.

  “Miriam went back to Indiana Saturday night,” Hannah said.

  Timothy’s stomach plummeted. “Oh?” he asked.

  “She left my aenti a note explaining why, and I’d like you to read it.” Hannah held out a piece of paper.

  He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s any of my business.”

  “Actually, it is.” She waved the paper in front of him. “Please take it. I don’t want to argue with you. I’ve had enough arguing to last me a year, thanks to my daed.”

  He gave her a confused look and took the paper. He skimmed the letter, and when he finished, his stomach was tied up in knots.

  One paragraph kept replaying in his mind:

  “I can’t stand by and watch the love of my life marry someone else. I’d thought I could fool myself into believing I would be happy with another man. However, I’ve lost Timothy all over again, and I can’t bear it …”

  He cleared his throat and folded up the letter before meeting Hannah’s probing stare. He couldn’t let her know the letter was tearing his soul apart.

  Marrying Naomi was the right thing to do. Miriam made her choice by returning to Indiana. Breaking his promise to Naomi would cause her the same pain he was experiencing now, and he refused to hurt Naomi that way.

  “I’m sorry Miriam feels this way.” He held the letter out to Hannah. “It’s a shame she had to leave under these circumstances. Nevertheless, I’m sure it’s for the best.”

  Hannah’s eyes rounded with surprise as she took the letter from him. “You can’t really mean that.”

  Timothy shrugged and feigned indifference. “What do you want me to say? Miriam made her choice. She left here four years ago to experience the English world. I guess she decided that she belonged there and not here. She returned to Indiana, and I’m marrying Naomi. I was hoping Miriam and I could be friends, but I guess that won’t happen.”

  “Did you read the letter, Timothy?” Hannah’s voice shook with anger. “Miriam loves you. She called you the love of her life. Do you have any tenderness at all?”

  Although her comments stabbed Timothy in the heart, he remained calm. “Miriam left me years ago. I carried a torch for her for a long time, but I realized I had
to move on. Unfortunately, it’s too late for her and me. I’m marrying Naomi.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “Who?” he asked, caught off guard.

  “Naomi,” Hannah enunciated the word.

  Timothy paused. “Ya.”

  Hannah gave him a knowing smile. “You’re a coward, Timothy Kauffman.”

  His eyebrows shot up with shock. “Excuse me?”

  “Good day,” she said, opening the back door of her driver’s sedan.

  “Wait a minute,” he said. “Why did you call me a coward?”

  “Think about it,” she said. “You’ll figure it out.” She climbed into the backseat and slammed the door.

  He stared after the car as it drove away. Hannah’s accusation echoed in his mind along with the words in the letter while he ambled across the parking lot.

  Stepping into the showroom, he found Luke on the phone.

  When Timothy walked by, Luke grabbed his arm. “Phone is for you.”

  “Now what?” Timothy muttered, taking the receiver. “Hello,” he said.

  “Timothy,” Beth Anne said. “I got a message this morning that might interest you.”

  “Let me guess, it has to do with Miriam and the fact that she went back to Indiana,” he said, dropping into the chair behind the counter.

  “You knew already?” she asked.

  “Ya. Hannah just paid me a visit.”

  “Really? What did she say?”

  “Not much,” he fibbed. “She told me Miriam went back home and was heartbroken when she found out I’m marrying Naomi.” And she wanted me to know I’m a coward.

  “I guess that means Lilly told her.”

  “Ya, that’s what it means.” He sighed and glanced across the showroom.

  “So, what are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to keep my promise to Naomi,” he said.

  “And be miserable,” Beth Anne added.

  He frowned. “I’d love to listen to you lecture me about my mistakes, but I have work to do.”

  “Fine, fine,” Beth Anne sang. “You get back to work. But I want to tell you one more thing. Miriam sounded heartbroken when she left the message. I truly believe she loves you.”

  He covered his face with his free hand and swallowed a groan. I’m the love of her life.

  “For what it’s worth,” she continued, “I think you’re making a mistake with Naomi.”

  “You’ve made that perfectly clear,” he said. “Now may I go? This cradle isn’t going to build itself and the English customer wants it by next Monday.”

  “Have a good day.”

  He snorted with sarcasm. “I’ll certainly try.” Timothy hung up the phone and stared down at the desk.

  Miriam’s sweet words in her letter to Edna echoed through his mind. She’d called him the love of her life. She’d declared she couldn’t stand by and watch him marry someone else.

  Miriam said she’d always love Timothy.

  And now Miriam was gone, and he had promised to marry a young woman whom he’d only considered a dear friend. He knew in his heart he didn’t love Naomi.

  But he couldn’t break his promise to Naomi. She was an innocent bystander to this great big mess —a mess Lilly Lapp had orchestrated four years ago.

  Groaning, he covered his face with his hands. “How did things get so out of control?” he muttered.

  Dropping his hands, he sat up straighter. Although it was a mess, he was going to prove he was a man of his word. He would marry Naomi and build a life with her. While he knew he’d always love Miriam Lapp, God’s plan was for him to marry Naomi. He closed his eyes and prayed for guidance.

  He then stood and headed back to the shop. As he stepped through the door, a question rang out through his mind.

  If marrying Naomi is God’s plan, then why does it feel so wrong?

  Jumbies

  1/2 cup shortening

  1-1/2 cups brown sugar

  3 eggs

  3 cups flour 1/2 tsp salt

  1 tsp baking soda

  2 Tbsp hot water

  1 cup chopped nuts

  1 cup chopped dates 1-1/4 tsp vanilla

  Cream shortening, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Dissolve baking soda in hot water and add with dry ingredients. Add dates and nuts. Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

  15

  Miriam leaned over the counter and handed the small slip of paper to the young mother. “Here’s your receipt, Mrs. Spencer,” she said, forcing a smile. “Dr. Sabella will be with you shortly.”

  “Thank you.” Mrs. Spencer took her six-year-old son by the hand and led him to a bench in the waiting room.

  Once the patient was gone, Miriam slid the glass window shut and buried her face in her hands, blowing out a deep sigh. Since she’d been back in Indiana, the days had dragged on like molasses in February. She’d spent her days at the office watching the clock, and her evenings sleeping—sometimes twelve to fifteen hours.

  Abby had invited her to go out several times, but Miriam had no desire or energy to go. Hannah had left Miriam several phone messages—at home, at work, and on her cell phone —but Miriam couldn’t bring herself to call her back, knowing it would be too painful. Miriam had left her heart in Pennsylvania.

  “Miriam,” a voice behind her said. “May I speak with you—in private?”

  Miriam glanced up at her boss eyeing her with a sympathetic expression.

  “Of course,” Miriam said, following Lauren to the inner office.

  Once in the office, Lauren sat behind her long oak desk, and Miriam plopped into the chair across from her. While she expected to be reprimanded for her lack of emotion on the job, Miriam didn’t seem to care. Her passion for the job had evaporated.

  “I’m worried about you,” Lauren began, steepling her fingers on the desk. “You’re different. Ever since you returned to work last week, you seem … depressed. What happened to you in Pennsylvania?”

  Miriam gave a sarcastic snort. “Where should I begin?”

  “How about at the beginning?” Lauren leaned forward, her eyes full of concern.

  Miriam glanced toward the window. She didn’t want to relive the heartbreak of her trip back to Lancaster County. It was painful enough as a distant memory, and rehashing it would only make it worse.

  She met her boss’s gaze and found the sympathy still apparent in her eyes. “Things didn’t go the way I’d planned. I thought by going back home, my family would finally forgive me. However, they still blame me for things I didn’t do, and I found out the man I’ve always loved is marrying someone else in the fall.”

  Lauren shook her head, frowning. “I’m so sorry.”

  Miriam folded her hands in her lap. “I know I’m acting depressed, but I promise I’ll get over it. I’ll try harder to put all of my family drama out of my head. You don’t need to reprimand me. I’ll do better.”

  Her boss raised an eyebrow. “You thought I was calling you in here to reprimand you?”

  Miriam nodded. “I deserve it.”

  “Honey, I was going to see if you were all right. Considering the circumstances, I think you should take some time off.”

  “No!” The word came out more forcefully than Miriam had intended, and Lauren’s eyes rounded with surprise. “I’m sorry, but I’ll go nuts if I’m stuck at home. Please let me work.”

  Lauren shook her head. “I think you need some time to yourself. You should take a few weeks off and read a book or take up a hobby. Have you ever tried painting? Watercolors help me relax when life brings me down.”

  “No.” Miriam shook her head. “I need to work. Being here is how I relax. If I’m at home, I’ll go crazy thinking about everything that happened back in Pennsylvania.”

  “Honey, those demons are going to get you one way or the other. It’s healthier for you to face them now rather than later.” Lauren flipped through her Rolodex and pulled out a card. After writing something on a hot pink Post-It, she handed it to Miriam. “This is the na
me of a therapist I saw after my divorce. She helped me sort through my feelings, and after about six months, I was good as new. That’s when I met Mike, the love of my life. We’ve been happily married for ten years now.”

  Gripping the Post-It note, Miriam grimaced. The love of my life is marrying someone else. “I don’t think therapy will cure me.”

  “That’s what a lot of people say, but you should give it a try.” Lauren stood. “I don’t want to see you for at least two weeks.”

  “But I only have one week of vacation left,” Miriam pleaded while Lauren led her to the door. “I really need to work. I can’t go without a paycheck since I’m going to start helping out my elderly aunt. I have to have that paycheck.”

  “I’ve already taken care of that. Dr. Sabella approved the extra time for you.”

  “But I don’t think—”

  “Go on,” Lauren said, waving her off. “Get out of here.”

  Miriam schlepped to her desk with a frustrated frown on her face. After packing up her things, she said good-bye to her coworkers and headed out to the parking lot.

  She climbed into her car, rested her head on the steering wheel, and wept.

  Abby studied Miriam across the supper table later that evening. “Let me get this straight. Lauren gave you two weeks off, paid, and you’re upset about it? Do you know how rare it is to find a boss like her?”

  Miriam spooned more meatloaf onto her plate. “Yes, I do, but you don’t understand my side of it. I want to work so I can get my mind off everything.”

  “In order to avoid your feelings for Timothy.”

  “It’s not just that.” Miriam lifted her glass of Diet Coke. “I’m also upset about the horrible things Daed said about me.”

  “You mean your dad.” Abby forked more meatloaf into her mouth. “You don’t have to talk Dietsch to me. You’re not there anymore.”

  “But maybe I want to be,” Miriam muttered, studying her dinner plate.

  “What did you say?”