Hate the Way He Loves Me

by Stacey Covington-Lee

  “Yeah, that’s the plan. If I get this other job out in Alpharetta I’ll have to hire someone sooner than I had anticipated. I should know in a few days if I’ll get it,” he said proudly as he shoved food in his mouth.

  They continued eating, talking, and laughing as if all of the issues from the past few days were behind them. Zoe was sharing the topics of the crazy talk shows she’d watched over the course of the past two days when the doorbell rang.

  “Are you expecting someone?” Zoe asked.

  “Yeah, Harvey’s picking me up to go hang with the guys for a little bit,” Ramon explained as he got up to answer the door. “Hey, dude, come on in. Grab a seat and I’ll be ready in a second. Babe, you remember Harvey, right?”

  “Hi, Harvey, it’s nice to see you again,” Zoe smiled as she rushed back to the bedroom to join Ramon. “Where are you guys headed to?”

  “Just to a little club for a few. I promise I won’t be long.”

  “Another strip club I assume.”

  “You know I don’t pay any attention to those women. I go just to have a drink and hang with the fellas,” Ramon reassured her.

  “Just make sure you keep your hands and money to yourself. If you want to make it rain for anyone, let it be me,” she teased. “And my dances come complete with an amazing orgasm.”

  She kissed Ramon deeply and again warned him to keep his hands and money in his pockets. She watched him walk out the door as she struggled to keep her disapproval of his little outing to herself.

  Zoe went back to watching television when she was struck with an idea. She jumped up, showered, lotioned her body, and sprayed on her favorite fragrance. She then went through her lingerie drawer and pulled out the sexiest outfit she had. The seductive sounds of Kem played in the background and candles illuminated the room.

  “Babe, I’m home. Told you I wouldn’t be gone long,” Ramon bellowed from the front room. “Where are you?”

  “Come on back to the room, baby.”

  Ramon looked disgusted as he wondered if she’d already gone to bed. As he got closer, he heard the music and smelled the fragrant candles. When he saw Zoe draped across the bed in her heels, stockings, garter, and bustier his jaw hit the floor.

  “Come in, let me help you relax,” she offered as she crawled off the bed and helped him remove his jacket. “Have a seat, relax and enjoy the show.”

  Zoe changed the music to the raunchy, “Drunk In Love” song by Beyoncé and began to dance for her man. She shook her ass in his face, danced in the middle of the floor, and grinded on his lap until he felt he would explode. Ramon stood to his feet, grabbed Zoe, and threw her back on the bed. He undressed in record time and made love to her like he never had before. It was more forceful, animalistic and she loved it. She had successfully seduced her man and hopefully convinced him that there was no need for him to ever visit a strip club again.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Sitting in the therapist’s office was more than a little uncomfortable for Ramon. In his opinion he didn’t have any anger problems. Everything that occurred had been precipitated by Zoe. But if this was going to make her happy and keep her in his life, then so be it. He looked across the room as the woman casually walked in and he waited for her to start so that he could get this over with.

  “Mr. Martinez, I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to work with you,” Dr. Lyncs said as she walked over and extended her hand.

  Ramon gave her a weak handshake but didn’t open his mouth to speak. He watched as she gathered her tablet and pen and took a seat directly across from him. He took notice of how pretty she was. He wasn’t normally into white chicks, but for her he’d make an exception. He watched as she crossed her legs and wondered what kind of panties she was wearing, if any at all. He envisioned himself tossing her up on her desk and screwing her until she begged for mercy.

  “Mr. Martinez, are you with me?” Dr. Lyncs asked as she waved her hand in front of him.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I guess my mind drifted,” Ramon apologized. “And please, call me Ramon. I get nervous when people call me by my last name,” he joked.

  “Alright then, Ramon, care to tell me where you were drifting off to?”

  “Just thinking about work,” he lied.

  “Well why don’t you tell me what brings you here today?” She asked although she saw from her pre-appointment notes that he apparently had anger issues. But still, she needed to hear him say why he was there.

  “My girlfriend thinks I need anger management,” he replied bluntly.

  “And what makes her think that?”

  “We had an incident this past weekend where she started hitting me. When I couldn’t get her to stop, I hit her in the face. I didn’t mean to hit her as hard as I did, but it did stop her from beating up on me.”

  Dr. Lyncs jotted down a few notes. While she was writing, Ramon again drifted to thoughts of him banging her. He wondered if she liked it rough, if she was a prude in bed, or if she was even having sex at all. He heard his name and looked from her legs to her eyes.

  “So, Ramon, do you think that the end justified the means?” Dr. Lyncs asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you think that it was okay to hit your girlfriend if it made her stop hitting you?”

  “I mean, I don’t think it’s okay to go around hitting women and I wish I hadn’t hit Zoe, but it’s also not okay for a woman to beat up on a man. I’m not trying to justify what I did, but at this point it is what it is. I’m not an abusive man and I’ve promised her that I’ll never hit her again.”

  “Statistically speaking, if a man is violent with his mate once, he will likely be violent again.”

  Ramon started looking at Dr. Lynch differently. In his eyes she started going from hot to bitchy. She hadn’t said anything offensive, but her talk about statistics seemed to Ramon as if she were telling him that he was guaranteed to hit Zoe again.

  “I don’t really care about statistics. I said that I wouldn’t hit her again and that’s what I meant.”

  Dr. Lyncs could see and hear his rapidly growing frustration. They’d barely scratched the surface and his agitation was very apparent, so much so that she was wondering how upset might he get as they continued on. “I can tell that you’re becoming a little annoyed with this situation. Is it my questions that are bothering you or the fact that you are even here?”

  “Or maybe I’m annoyed because you’re making assumptions about me and you’ve only known me for ten minutes. You and Zoe both are making me out to be some monster,” he retorted.

  “Why do you feel like we’re making you out to be a monster? That wasn’t my intention.”

  “If Zoe weren’t trying to make me out to be some crazed man I wouldn’t be here. One incident and she gives me the ultimatum of therapy or she leaves me. You’re supposed to be a neutral party and yet you’ve already accused me of hitting her again. Why the hell wouldn’t I be agitated? This is all bullshit and you know it.”

  “I didn’t accuse you Ramon. And it’s not my intention to upset you. I’m sorry that you feel you’ve been unfairly judged. The purpose of this is to help you better control your anger so that you won’t repeat the behavior.”

  “There you go again, it’s not a behavior. A behavior is something that’s been repeated, I hit the bitch once,” Ramon spat angrily. “That’s what’s wrong with y’all, always trying to fix somebody when y’all ain’t got the common sense it takes to comprehend basic shit.”

  “Who is y’all?” Dr. Lyncs asked.

  “Don’t play stupid with me. Y’all as in women, the only people that are so smart you’re stupid. Think you know everything and you really know nothing!” Ramon was furious.

  “You seem to have a very distorted view of women. Do you really believe that the entire gender is stupid?” she asked more out of curiosity. She also hoped that if she gave him a chance to vent it would help to calm him down. She was wrong.

  “Every time you open
your mouth you prove that my father was right. He’s the one that explained to me how brain dead y’all are. I tried my best not to believe him, but damn it, y’all keep proving him right. What kind of idiot thinks they can beat up on somebody and not get knocked the hell out? And you sitting here making assumptions and accusations and don’t expect for it to upset me,” Ramon continued on his rant. But when he realized that the therapist was jotting down all kinds of notes again, he completely lost it. He jumped from his seat and snatched the note pad out of her hand before she realized what was happening.

  “Mr. Martinez, I’m going to need for you to calm down.” Despite her efforts to hide it, Dr. Lyncs was clearly shaken.

  “Everything you’ve written is crap and I don’t have time for this bullshit. Thanks for nothing.” Ramon stormed out of the office with no intentions to ever go back.

  An hour later, Ramon had called his boy, Rich, and they were bellied up to the bar throwing back shots. Ramon was still angry. Angry with the therapist and with Zoe for giving him such a ridiculous ultimatum in the first place. But most of all, he was pissed with himself for not handling Zoe in a manner that would have prevented all this in the first place. He now realized that he’d given her too much freedom, too much input, and clearly hadn’t been stern enough with her from the beginning of their relationship. Like his dad used to say, treat them like the simple minded kids they are and you won’t have to worry about reining them in later.

  “So what do you plan to do about Zoe now? How will you tell her that you’re not going back to therapy?” Rich asked.

  “I’m not telling her anything. As far as I’m concerned she can continue to think that I’m going.” Ramon threw back another shot.

  “Dude, you better handle that. You can’t let these women rule you. Hell, I know you’re not scared of her, so put your foot down, handle your business, and tell her you’re not going back. You are the man and ruler of that house, now make her ass fall in line,” Rich offered his unsolicited advice.

  “You’re right; I’m tired of bowing down and caving to her ridiculous demands. It’s time for Zoe to fall in line and I’ll do whatever I have to to make her.”

  Across town, Zoe had stopped by Martha and Pam’s place to say hello and catch up. She hated she’d missed Sunday dinner, but there was no way she was going to let them see her with that bruised face.

  “Hey Mama, how are you?” Zoe asked as she kissed her mother hello.

  “I’m fine, sweetheart, how are you? And why haven’t I seen you in over a week?”

  “I’m fine and I’m sorry I hadn’t gotten over here before now. I wasn’t feeling my best earlier this week and actually took a couple of days off just to recoup. Where is Pam?”

  “That girl just got out the shower and is getting dressed. She had a late night and is moving in slow motion today. What was wrong with you? Did you go see a doctor? You should’ve called me and I would have come by after work to cook you some soup or something.” Martha was always overly concerned for her daughters and was now giving Zoe the once over to make sure that she couldn’t see anything visibly wrong with her.

  “No, I didn’t need a doctor Mama, it was just a stomach bug,” she lied. “And I didn’t want to bother you. Besides, Ramon took great care of me,” she assured as the lies continued to fall from her lips.

  “Hey, chicka!” Pam bounced out of her room and went straight to Zoe for a big hug. When she stepped back from her sister, she noticed a small dark mark just under Zoe’s eye. “What happened to your eye, did Ramon punch you?” Pam chuckled at her little joke, never realizing that she’d hit the nail right on the head.

  “Ha-ha, very funny, Pam. I actually clocked myself with the cabinet door the other day. That thing hurt like hell, but thankfully didn’t leave a real bad bruise.” Zoe hated how the lies were piling up. She, Pam, and Martha had always been one hundred percent honest with one another and now all of that was changing. But at least Ramon was getting the help she thought he needed and she’d never have to repeat these kinds of lies to her family again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Tonight was the last night of Ramon and Zoe’s couple’s therapy. For the most part things had been going fine. They hadn’t argued, had both been open and honest about their abusive pasts, and Zoe was sure that Ramon now understood how important it was to her that violence not be a part of their relationship. The therapy also helped her to understand her role in the punching incident. She apologized for first hitting him and vowed that she would find a better way to express her anger. But as the session was coming to an end, the therapist asked a question that turned everything upside down.

  “You guys have made great progress in this short amount of time. Just remember all the coping tools you learned here and you should be fine. Ramon, how is the anger management coming along? You should only have a couple more sessions of that, right?”

  “In all honesty, Dr. Faulkner, I haven’t been back since the first session,” he said bluntly.

  Zoe was shocked and confused. “You told me that the therapy was going well. And if you haven’t been going to your sessions then where have you been spending that time?”

  “Look, I’m sorry I lied, but I didn’t care for Dr. Lyncs. It’s like she had her mind made up about me before she ever met me. That chick immediately started telling me how I was likely to hit you again and again, making assumptions about me and didn’t even know me. I knew then that that was a waste of my time. Besides, we’ve had this therapy and its worked fine.”

  “Ramon, this is different from the anger management. While it pleases me that you’ve gotten so much from this type of therapy, I strongly encourage you to seek out another therapist for anger management. I actually think that a male therapist is more appropriate for that anyway. I’d be glad to make a couple of suggestions,” Dr. Faulkner offered.

  “Thanks, but no thanks,” Ramon replied sternly. “This is all the head shrinking that I need. Besides, all I did was defend myself against her abuse,” he asserted as he pointed at Zoe.

  “Are you serious? You punched me in my freaking nose like we were dudes in a damn street fight. I lost two days of work and lied to my family and friends to cover up for that crap. To cover for you!” Zoe exclaimed. She made no effort to hide her anger.

  “Look, you both have made good progress here, let’s not throw it all out the window now,” Dr. Faulkner said as she tried to bring calm back to the room. “Ramon, do you really believe that you’ll be able to deal with this relationship without raising a hand to her again?”

  “Why aren’t you asking her that? She hit me first. Now I love Zoe and want us to be together, but I don’t understand why I’m viewed as the only abusive one in this relationship.”

  “The past abuse that both of you suffered and witnessed is concerning to me. And while you may not have liked Dr. Lyncs’ approach, I’m sure that all she was trying to convey was that men, more so than women, tend to turn to violence.”

  “See, this is what I have a problem with, y’all women sticking together. Even when I didn’t initiate this shit, y’all want to blame it all on me and assume that whipping her ass is going to become a routine part of our relationship.”

  “Oh, I’m not worried about that,” Zoe spat. “Because you have one more time to lay a hand on me and I’m out. I didn’t allow my father to continue with his abuse and I be damned if I’ll allow you to abuse me. I love you, Ramon, but the fact that you’ve been lying to me for weeks is a problem. If it’s been so easy for you to lie about therapy, what else do I have to worry about, what else have you been lying about? Why should I believe that you won’t hit me again?” Zoe’s anger had turned to tears. She cried because she was hurt, she cried because she loved Ramon, and she cried because she knew that this was not how things were supposed to be.

  “Babe, please don’t cry. I hate to see you cry and swear that I’ll never lie to you again. I’ll never raise my hand in violence to you. You’ve got to believe me, babe
, I love you,” Ramon confessed.

  “Look guys, I’m glad that your love for one another is so strong, but I believe that we need to continue this for a few more weeks. Especially if you’re not going to participate in anger management. I want to see you two succeed as a couple and I think that you will if you continue to seek counsel.”

  Ramon’s first thought was ‘hell no’ but he knew that if he said that, things would only get worse and Zoe would probably go home and pack. He did love Zoe and that’s why he agreed to a few more sessions, but once they got away from Dr. Faulkner, he’d do his best convince Zoe that counseling was no longer necessary. But for now, a smile and a nod is what he gave them, but that’s all he would give them. He wouldn’t give another second of his time for this bullshit counseling.

  On the way home, Ramon decided to swing by Sweet Georgia’s Juke Joint and treat Zoe to a good meal. The live band was always good and the atmosphere was festive. He figured that this would be a good way to move on and hopefully forget about that therapy crap. The place was full and the hostess asked if they had a reservation. But after Ramon slipped her a twenty, they were seated at the next available table. The band was already playing and he watched Zoe as she swayed to the beat of the music. A couple of glasses of wine, a good meal, and soothing music worked like a charm. By the time they were ready to leave, Zoe was all hugged up to him and playing kissy face. Despite the way it started, he knew that this night would end on a good note.

  ~~~~

  “So to what do we owe this treat?” Desi and April took a seat at the bar in Zoe’s kitchen as she went about the business of serving up the pizza she’d ordered for them. “You haven’t had us over in for never,” Desi said laughing hysterically at his own corny joke.

  “Here we go with the jokes,” Zoe smirked. “You know y’all are my people and I wanted to spend some time with you guys. Y’all know I love you.”

  “We love you too Zoe but I was starting to wonder if you were homeless,” April continued to tease. “I thought your house with Ramon was a figment of your imagination or something.”