by Unknown
The other promise he had extracted worried her too. He made her promise to tell him the name of the man who had hurt her. This worried Sammy more than the talk about what he had done to her in a way because she was afraid that he would rush off to find Tom because he wanted to pay him back for her somehow.
Sammy didn’t want Animal to go after him. In some way that seemed worse; that he would have to defend her when she wasn’t even sure that he wanted that job. Maybe he just wanted to know because it had happened at Spangles. She now knew he was one-sixth owner of it. Maybe that was why he wanted to know so badly. Having a man cutting up subs who went to his club was bad for business. Sammy didn’t know and she was not sure how she would feel if he did run off after Tom. Sighing, she pulled her feet closer, hugging her knees as she watched him moving around the kitchen.
“Stop thinking so hard, Sam,” Animal said, not bothering to look up at her as she studied him while he poured the filling into the shells of the pies he was currently making.
“I’m not thinking hard,” Sammy tried to deny.
“Uh, that’s why you look like I just took your favorite toy away, huh?” Animal asked, glancing at her with a slight smile. She didn’t appreciate that he was likening her to a child being petulant over a toy and glared.
“I’m not!” she growled, a dark scowl on her face. Animal continued to fill the pies and the grin spread, his hand working the spoon in the bowl to gather the filling.
“Babe, we both know that you only made those promises to appease me so I would let you come. Now you’re mad that you did and you want to go back on those promises but I won’t allow that and you know it. You’re trying to figure out a way to get around it. That’s not going to happen so you need relax. Go take a shower or read. It’s going to be about forty minutes before this is ready.” Animal was now at the sink straining the water off the potatoes, his hands moving in an efficient display of adept cooking skills.
“You drive me nuts, you know that, right?” Sammy asked angrily.
A slight chuckle escaped him as he turned to stir the potatoes into the filling. “Sure, but you like when I make you come so I’m confident you’ll forgive me.”
She stood with her hands on her hips glaring at him, shocked by his audacity. Her neck felt tense and her back protested the abrupt movements she was making. Although she had injured it during one of their workouts a few days ago, she was glad that he hadn’t refused to continue helping her learn to defend herself when they started having sex. She didn’t want to feel helpless and his maneuvers were helping her feel like if she was faced with a situation she would be able to handle it.
“You’re such a jackass!” she screeched, then Sammy stormed towards the bedroom. Her thoughts were jumbled but she did think that maybe a nice soak would do her some good. At the very least it would relax her stiff neck and the slight twinge in her back. She slammed into the bathroom still hearing the echoes of his loud laughter. The stupid ass thought it was funny, did he? Well she would show him, she thought wickedly, flicking the lock on the bathroom door. He wouldn’t be coming in here to tease her after he put those pies in the oven. That would teach him not to be such a jerk.
Filling the tub, she poured some bath salts that were for muscle cramps into the tub before climbing into the steaming water, sighing in pleasure as she sank into the deep body molded tub she had splurged on when she moved in. She paid over half the cost of installation to get it. The company who rented the apartment to her had allowed the improvement because it raised the value on the apartment. They had also raised her rent two months later, the assholes.
Animal smiled slightly at the view as he stood over Sammy who was lying asleep in the tub. He had knocked but she hadn’t responded. It had frightened him which led to him breaking the lock on the door, all of which she had slept through. Her bare breasts bobbed just under the water leading to thoughts of how he could wake her. His cock jumped and his hands jerked wanting to touch, to take.
Thoughts of what was to come later and the food he had just set on the table to cool were the only reasons he stopped. Animal wanted her to feel comfortable with what he needed to know but he didn’t think more time would facilitate that. Sammy was never going to be ready to release the shame she felt until someone heard and judged what had happened that night. She blamed herself in a way because he had torn her down while he had hurt her and somehow despite her strength those thoughts had filtered into her. Now she was holding onto the words and the actions of that night in a shameful memory that wouldn’t let her step back until she allowed herself to realize that she was not at fault.
She knew that in the surface of her mind but somehow she didn’t believe it with her heart and he was almost positive that it was because she needed to tell someone. God, he hoped it wasn’t a mistake to force her into this conversation. He didn’t want to make it worse. Her reaction the first night he had tried to introduce the wax into love play had nearly killed him. It had taken him almost an hour to calm her down. By then her wrists were chafed and her face was swollen from crying.
The second time had not gone much better and if Sarah saw her with bruised wrists again he would likely lose his balls. It had been a near miss the first time and if Sammy hadn’t stopped Sarah by telling her it wasn’t his fault, he likely would be gelded.
Shaking his head, he leaned down, his mouth hovering over hers for a moment before placing a light kiss on her lips and gently brushing her hair off her forehead. Sammy’s eyes slowly opened, a small smile forming on her face until she seemed to remember that she had locked the door. Animal smiled, expecting the huff of indignation and the way she sat up crossing her arms over her chest to glare at him.
She really wasn’t very submissive at times but he liked it. It made him harder than any other submissive’s complete surrender would have, and that should have made him want to take a step back from this relationship and her but it didn’t. She was too perfect for his needs and wanting her was becoming an obsession. Animal stood to his full height, a mocking grin on his face as he watched her glare at him, his lips curling in amusement.
Sammy was not amused by his look, he knew, when she narrowed her eyes and her crossed arms tightened. It was likely an involuntary action but it didn’t have the effect she wanted, he thought, snorting out a light huff of laughter because all the tightening did was push her lovely breasts up, plumping them nicely as they flowed over her arms. Mmm, he’d like to lick on those peaks for hours while she wiggled and begged him to make her come and then he would tie her to the bed and spank her ass for being so damned sexy his back teeth ached.
Damn, now his jeans felt like they were cutting off the circulation in his cock and he was likely to have a zipper print on the damned thing because he had gone commando today.
“How did you get in here?” Sammy asked, her eyes still narrowed as she stood, grabbing a towel as she stepped from the tub and wrapping it around her figure, covering her breasts to hide them from his view much to his dismay.
“I knocked and when you didn’t answer I broke the lock to check on you,” Animal told her, watching her pulse beating in her neck with four drops of water sliding down the soft length. He licked his lips thinking of licking the moisture from her skin.
“You didn’t think maybe you should have knocked harder?” Sammy was holding the towel in one hand between her breasts, her mouth open as she questioned his reasoning. Animal did not want to admit that when she had not answered after the fairly hard knock on the door he had thought she might be hurt and had panicked. He was not telling her that. No way in hell was he telling her that.
“No, I just broke the lock and came in to get you because it’s time to eat. I thought you were ignoring me on purpose. You were mad when you came in here.”
“Unbelievable. I don’t know why I put up with your bull. If you weren’t good in bed I wouldn’t, you know,” Sammy growled as she brushed past him heading into the bedroom. He followed after her, watching her hips
sway. Her hair, damp and curling, swished back and forth because of the violence of her movements. She jerked a nightgown from the top drawer, turning to glare at him.
Animal chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Now slip on that nightie and come to dinner.” Turning he walked out of the bathroom, every step away from her slick body painful because he wanted to fuck her so bad he almost couldn’t bear the wait. He would manage but it would be damned hard because fucking her was like a trip to heaven. Animal grinned when he heard a bang he knew was something hitting the door behind him. Damn, she was fiery.
Chapter 17
After the dishes were done and they were both settled on the couch, he waited for her to begin. Animal could see that she was trembling and he almost wanted to tell her that it was okay, she didn’t have to tell him. He didn’t speak however and instead he waited, holding her feet on his lap as she fiddled with the lacy eyelet on the blanket she was covered in. His hands rubbed her feet trying to help her relax. Sammy was on her end of the couch with her eyes pinned to her fingers as they pushed the lace back and forth.
Animal knew that he needed to give her time to talk but waiting for her to start was killing him. He didn’t like seeing her this upset. Never had he felt a woman’s pain like he did Sammy’s. That in mind, he decided to tell her something about himself that he wasn’t proud of, something he had never told anyone, not even Pansy who was as close to him as a brother. Pansy knew more about it than he let on, Animal knew, but he never asked Animal about it and he had never shared the details of that night.
Now as he sat here with a woman who made him burn hotter than the fires of hell, he was thinking of telling her the story, the one that had saved him from a life with the Headhunter MC and the loss of his morals.
Taking a deep breath, he asked, “Would it help if I told you something I did once that I’m not proud of?” Animal hoped she would say no, but when her blue eyes filled with uncertainty met his, he knew that wasn’t going to happen.
“It might,” she told him softly, making him wince and turn to look out the window into the darkness, searching for anything out of place. His eyes took in the starry sky and the moon, which hung low and full in the sky, before he finally began to speak, telling her a story he had promised himself never to think about, let alone allow it to pass through his lips.
“I used to be with the Headhunter MC five years ago. It was before they slipped into this rot that seems to turn men who used to be decent into monsters. I was a fully patched member back then.” Animal felt her sharp inhale rather than heard it; her feet tensed and since he was still absently rubbing them he felt it. He felt a cold anger over the unforgiveable thing he’d done settling into his stomach. He thought about stopping the story there but seeing her fingers still nervously playing with the lace he knew he needed to continue, for her. Sighing, his heart felt heavy and it ached in his chest.
He forced more words from his numb lips, wanting to get this story over with so that he didn’t have to say any of it again. He wanted to just stop telling her about that night because his chest suddenly tightened. His breathing seemed to stutter and he felt a denial cry out from somewhere inside him because this story might make her frightened of him. Why had he offered to tell her this anyway?
“It was storming the night when I took Lisa to bed with me after trying Juice for the first time. The drug was becoming popular among the Headhunter crew and it was supposed to be a blissful high that heightened pleasure.” Animal felt her feet jerk as soon as he spoke Lisa’s name and knew that she wasn’t fond of this story because it involved another woman in his bed. If he weren’t so upset with himself for starting this story, he would feel satisfaction in learning that tidbit. He was however too busy berating himself for the decision to respond.
He held her feet when she would have tugged them off his lap, shaking his head firmly and holding them down, letting her know she wasn’t going anywhere. She’d asked for this story and she was going to get it even if she feared him afterwards.
“I took the drug about a half hour before we started that night. The drug gave me the promised blissful high and I felt like a God. I used the cat o’ nine tails on Lisa during our play. Having been my lover for a while, she trusted me. I had her tied to the bed when I took the whip to her. It was something we had done before and enjoyed. I didn’t realize I was really out of it though. Lisa had taken the drug too so she wasn’t much better.” Animal wanted to stop there but he needed to tell her the rest, he knew, even if it made her hate him.
“I didn’t know until the next morning what was really happening. I woke and was getting up when I noticed the blood––God, so much blood.” Animal leaned forward, his head suddenly in his hands as he relived waking to find the blood everywhere. He felt the shock all over again, remembering how he stared at his hands wondering where the hell the blood had come from.
After he realized he wasn’t injured, a horrible feeling of dread had filled him, and sitting here didn’t lessen the memory of that cold sickness that had slowly spread through him leaving a pit in his stomach as he had turned to find Lisa on the bed still tied. She was lying on her stomach with her arms pulled straight and her back was in shreds.
He couldn’t remember all the thoughts that had swirled inside his head but he could remember asking himself if she was dead. She had been so still, almost paralyzed. Animal felt a soft hand on his back and lips that caressed his neck.
Sammy whispered, “It’s okay, Animal. You can tell me, I won’t judge you.”
Animal wanted to laugh because she should judge him. She should get up and walk out and never come back because he wasn’t a good man. He’d nearly whipped a woman to death and that was unforgiveable. He had known for years that what had happened that night meant he wasn’t fit to be anything other than an animal. That’s why when the club started calling him that after he killed a man who’d raped a little girl and shoved his sick appendage into his fat mouth he’d allowed it, never arguing with their choice.
He was an animal because of what he’d done. Animal felt her arms wrap around him and he wanted to feel the tenderness for just a moment longer before he told her the rest. The part that might frighten her away from him, he thought, unsure if this story was a good idea.
“That’s when I saw what I had done. I had laid her back open with that whip. Thankfully she lived. I took her to the local doctor and he patched her up, telling me that she would have bled to death in another hour. A fucking hour! Lisa was so out of it but she kept telling me it wasn’t my fault, that she was okay. I fucking beat her nearly to death and she thought it was okay? What the fuck?” He ran his hand over his head, feeling her press her cheek to the back of his cut, her hands soothing over his shoulders trying to calm him.
Animal didn’t want her to comfort him just as he hadn’t wanted to hear Lisa telling him it wasn’t his fault. It was his fault, he was the one who’d been so fucked up on drugs that he’d beaten a woman bloody. No one else had done that. Trying to get off the couch, he felt her arms pulling at him and not wanting to hurt her by jerking away from her he commanded, “Let me go.”
“No,” Sammy said, her arms still wrapped around his waist holding tightly. “You are not going to continue to beat yourself up over this, damn it.” Her voice was filled with passion and a command of her own.
“Sam, this isn’t something that you can dictate. It’s also not going to ever be okay that I fucking beat my lover half to death. I’m almost as bad as the fucker who hurt you!” Animal roared, still trying to move away from her but she clung to him.
“No, no, you’re nothing like him, Animal. Tom carved me like a turkey and he laughed about it, Animal. He laughed. Like it was funny he had violated me. So no, you’re nothing like him. It’s been five years and you still can’t forgive yourself for taking a drug that impaired your thinking and accidently hurting your lover. That makes you nothing like him,” Sammy told him, her words filled with a conviction he didn’t have about what had ha
ppened.
“How can you excuse what I did to Lisa? I nearly killed her!” Animal roared again, this time managing to get off the couch to turn and stare at her where she sat looking back at him. Her eyes were filled with sympathy as she sat up on her knees watching him as he paced back and forth glancing at her. Her strawberry blonde hair fell around her shoulders landing at her waist. Her blanket was balled on the couch forgotten and her rosy lips were pressed together in a line of concentration as she attempted to find the right thing to say to him.
How could she say to him that he wasn’t like the man who had violated her trust? He was exactly like Tom. Animal had broken the trust that existed between a dominant and his submissive just as Tom had done to Sammy. This shouldn’t even be an argument. She should be frightened that he had done this to another woman and yet he could tell by her defense of him that she wasn’t. It didn’t make a lick of sense.
“You’re not like him, Animal.”
“That’s just it, babe. I am. I did what he did to you to another woman. How can you stand to even look at me?” Animal asked.
“Animal, answer a question for me, okay.”
“Fine. Spit it out,” he clipped as he stopped pacing back and forth, turning to face her, his hands rubbing over his head in an attempt to get rid of the nervous energy that filled him.
“Had you ever hurt a sub before the incident with Lisa?”
“Of course not,” Animal snapped, shocked she would ask him that. It wasn’t even something he could stomach having done once, much less multiple times.
“And have you hurt one since that night with her?” Sammy demanded.
“NO!” he roared, anger at her suggestion that he would do something like that again, making him want to rip the world apart. How could she think he would do that? Didn’t she know him at all?