Dirty

by Ella Miles

  I closely study her, but she guards her feelings well.

  “What do you dream about?” she asks.

  “You.”

  “Who do you love?”

  “You.”

  Seconds pass before she does anything, but slowly, a grin creeps up on her face. “Good. Because you are the only one I dream about. It doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand why my heart aches for you when I love so many others. I love Heath. I love Matteo. But I don’t dream of either of them. I don’t obsess about either of them. I love them, but I love you more.”

  I run to her. Wrap her in my arms. And kiss her with everything I have. It doesn’t feel real until she kisses me back just as hard, holding nothing back. Our tongues push into each other’s mouths, begging each other for more. Our hands dig into each other, promising never to let go. We are never going to be able to stop, but we can’t stay here.

  I force myself to stop.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, panting hard.

  I grin, soon planning on never stopping. I’ll fuck her forever if she lets me.

  “We can’t stay here.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Matteo will kill one or both of us if he finds out that you chose me over him.”

  She frowns. “Are you sure?”

  I nod. “He’s not in a good place right now. We need to leave.”

  “But can you really leave your brother? Can you really leave your life and everything behind to run away with me? To live a life of always hiding, always running, never being safe?”

  I pull her back to me, threatening our safety with another kiss. I’m not sure that, once I start kissing her, I’ll be able to stop ever again. She draws me back in, promising that she doesn’t ever want to stop either.

  “I’ll gladly give up everything for you. I love you, Nina. I’ve always loved you. Even when I wouldn’t allow myself to feel it, it was there. I love you. You are my obsession. You are the reason I’m living. I’d rather run and hide with you forever than live a life alone here. The only chance of ever being happy is with you.”

  She grins and quickly kisses me again. “Good answer. I love you, too. I’ll run with you forever. It’s the only way I’ll ever be free.”

  I kiss her one last time, and then we run. Hopefully, we won’t have to run forever. Matteo is going to be pissed that Nina chose me. That I’m abandoning him now. But he’ll soon forgive me. He’s the least of our worries. One day, we will have to stop running. We will have to face our enemies. But that day is far into the future. Right now, I will enjoy running. I’ll enjoy living for the first time in a long time. I’m free as long as I have Nina by my side. Forever.

  Epilogue

  Nina

  I feel the emptiness. I don’t have to reach over in bed to know that Arlo isn’t there.

  We’ve been running for a year, but it feels more like traveling. Like one long vacation that never ends. It’s wonderful. I love every second that Arlo and I get to spend together. I’m in love. I’m happy.

  But it’s not enough.

  Every day that passes makes me realize that more and more. That we can’t continue on like this. Arlo loves me, but he isn’t truly happy. He still has nightmares every night. He still thinks about his family every day. And as in love as we are, just existing together doesn’t give his life enough purpose. Not when he was used to a life far more exciting than what our life has been the last year.

  I just don’t know how to bring purpose back into his life again.

  I sit up and see Arlo sitting outside on the patio of the villa we are staying in.

  I sigh. I already know what he is doing. Painting another one of his nightmares by moonlight.

  I get out of bed and walk out to him.

  “Can’t sleep again?” I ask.

  He nods as he sits in his boxers behind an easel looking out over the ocean.

  I walk behind him and put my arms around his bare chest, wishing that I could take away his nightmares like he takes away mine. I look at the picture he’s painting, expecting another horrible image of a person he feels guilty for killing, but it’s not. Instead, he’s painting a beautiful picture of us. Together. Happy.

  I smile.

  “You’re painting us?”

  “Yes, I had a good dream.” He grabs my arms and brings me around until I’m sitting in his lap.

  “Why don’t you sleep when you have good dreams?”

  He grins. “Because this dream was so good that I was afraid I would forget it.”

  I narrow my eyes to look at him, not sure I believe him. “Are you happy, really? I know this year has been hard for you. I know you don’t like running. I know you miss your brother and sister. I know you miss having a purpose.”

  His smile disappears. “Is that what you think? That I’m not happy?”

  I nod slowly.

  He shakes his head. “Are you crazy? I’ve never been happier.”

  “But you’re depressed. You still have nightmares almost every night. You are away from your family. How can you be happy?”

  He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear as his other arm wraps tighter around me. “Because I have you. I love you, Nina. Yes, running has its downsides. The life that I used to live has consequences that I live with daily. But I wouldn’t give up the last year I’ve had with you for anything. I wouldn’t give up the future we will have together either.”

  I hear his words, but I still worry. I want our life together to be amazing. I want him to follow his dreams. I want to not live in fear of our enemies coming after us. I don’t want to worry that Enrico or his men are hiding behind every corner.

  “Stop it.”

  “Stop what?”

  “Stop worrying. We have each other. Nothing else matters.”

  “I just want you to have more than just me. I want you to live out your dreams.”

  He dips me back in his arms as his lips hover over me. “You’re my dream, Nina. All I want is you and our future together.”

  He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me. Butterflies form in my stomach and my heart beats wildly as his tongue pushes deep into my mouth. Every kiss does this to me. A year of kisses has done nothing but make me fall more in love with him. If I was uncertain of which man I loved before, now I know. No other man makes me feel like Arlo does. My love for him is more than an obsession. This is what love feels like.

  His lips leave mine and our eyes meet. Dirty thoughts read across his eyes.

  I bite my lip. I never get tired of sex with Arlo. No amount of sex ever fully satisfies us. We both need more. Constantly. In some ways, it’s probably a good thing that we spend our whole life together just living like we are on vacation because I don’t think either of us could hold down a job.

  “Care for a midnight swim?” he asks.

  I don’t know why he asks. He already knows my answer. Probably to make up for all of his controlling behavior before. Now the only time he gets to control me is during sex. And even then, only when I let him.

  I nod.

  He lifts me into his arms as he runs down the beach to the ocean. I kiss his neck as I anticipate what he’s going to do. Sex with him is never the same. I’m never prepared for how far he takes me or what he’s going to do. He always takes me right to my limit when it comes to what I’m comfortable with without ever going over what I can handle. He knows my body better than I know myself.

  I stare into his eyes trying to guess what kind of mood he’s in as he carries me into the cool water.

  I squeal as the water hits my toes and Arlo laughs, splashing more water on me as he carries me deeper into the water. He’s definitely in a playful, happy mood tonight.

  I wrap my arms around his neck as he dunks us both into the water. I immediately try to swim toward the surface to get some of my body out of the cool water and to breathe again.

  Arlo holds me under.

  I try to remain calm even though I didn’t take much of a breath
before he pulled me under. But the seconds pass and I feel my chest aching for a breath.

  I can’t breathe.

  I try to swim toward the surface but Arlo’s arms hold me down under the water.

  I panic.

  I fight his arms trying to let him know that I need a breath now but he only holds onto me harder.

  I open my eyes pleading with him for a breath. When I see his eyes staring at me though I immediately relax. He moves forward and places his lips over mine giving me a breath.

  His eyes tell me to trust him. That he will never hurt me.

  I love you, I mouth.

  He grins and then his mouth moves down my body as he pulls my nightgown off over my head. His lips take my nipple into my mouth as he continues to hold me under the water.

  I gasp, releasing some of the air he gave me leaving me little left.

  But my body doesn’t panic. I trust him completely. He knows when I need air and when I don’t. And his lips on my body when he’s in complete control makes everything more intense.

  He pushes us up toward the surface just before I feel my air running out.

  We both take a deep breath when we hit the surface before he kisses me again taking all my air.

  He grabs my hips and lifts me until my legs hang over his shoulders and his lips hover over my pussy.

  “I can never get enough of you,” he says.

  I moan as he licks my sensitive area.

  “Lick me,” I command, liking that now that I’m on top I have some control over him.

  He grins as he does what I say.

  “God, Arlo, that feels so good.”

  “You like that baby?” Arlo says.

  I grab his hair and suck in a breath when he calls me baby. Every time he calls me by a term of endearment I get wet for him and he knows it. It’s what I wanted for so long and now that I have it, I lose my mind when he does it.

  “I’m still in control baby. Take a breath.”

  I suck in a breath and grab his hair firmly before he dunks me under the water again still licking my pussy as I go under backward. He holds me down, massaging my breasts and holding my head under water, while keeping my pussy and legs wrapped around his head above the surface.

  That’s what I focus on. Him. The feeling of him bringing me intense pleasure. He moves his tongue faster while I’m under water and I can’t keep from coming much longer. But I also need air. It’s an intense feeling that I don’t know what I want more. Air or coming.

  I choose coming.

  I scream under the water as my pussy pulses around his tongue.

  Not until I stop does he let me back up from the water.

  I breathe heavily and quickly, gripping onto his head as he gently lowers my body into the water until we are at eye level with each other.

  He sucks my lip into his mouth while I catch my breath.

  “I meant what I said. I can never get enough of you, Nina. I want to fuck you every way I can. I want a life with you. Kids with you. I want it all with you. That’s all I want.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Kids? You want kids with me?”

  He grins. “I want to see what your body is like pregnant. I can’t imagine how big your breasts will get.”

  I laugh. “After the pregnancy comes a baby that you have to take care of.”

  “I know. I still want it.”

  I grin. “How about we just figure out to find our own happily ever, just the two of us, first?”

  He nods and then kisses me and I know things are about to get dirty again.

  “How about we get to dry land again before you have your way with me again?” We’ve tried having sex in the ocean, but it is never as good as dry land.

  He grins and carries me out of the water and back into the villa. When we are back inside, he tosses me a towel. I catch it and begin to dry myself off while he does the same.

  I walk over to my dresser to find a new nightgown to sleep in when I see my phone has a missed voicemail from Eden.

  I smile and pick up the phone.

  “Eden called.”

  Arlo growls as he grabs my waist and begins kissing me again. I get lost in the kiss for a second before he pulls away.

  “Fine, call her back. But I’m only giving you ten minutes before I’m coming after you and having my way with you so make it quick,” he says with a gleam in his eyes.

  I laugh and take my phone back out on the patio as I listen to Eden’s voicemail.

  I wait for Eden’s voice to speak, but she never does. Instead, I hear a much more terrifying voice.

  I wrap my towel around me tighter as I listen. My eyes immediately scanning my surroundings, afraid that our lives are now in danger. My body shakes with a mix of fear and anger with every word that I listen to.

  This can’t be happening.

  I lower the phone from my ear just as Arlo comes to get me.

  “I know I said I would give you ten minutes, but I came up with an idea for how I want to fuck you and I can’t wait.”

  Arlo wraps his arms around my waist before he realizes that something is wrong.

  “What did she say?”

  I can’t speak. I can’t say anything. I must be in shock.

  “Nina, what’s wrong?”

  I don’t hear him. I can’t think about him. I’m too scared of what I just heard.

  Arlo comes around to my front and forces me to look at him. “Nina! What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”

  I blink, finally able to see him, but I can’t say the words. If I tell him then it’s true. Instead, a tear falls down my cheek.

  He wipes it, looking as scared as I look.

  I hear some rustling in a bush behind him and I jump.

  “It’s just a lizard Nina. Nothing is going to get you. I have you,” Arlo says holding onto me.

  I look over his shoulder at the beautiful painting he started of us. Except it’s not just us. I didn’t notice before but now I can’t believe I missed it. It’s a painting of me pregnant, with another child riding Arlo’s back. We are a family. That was what his dream was. That is what he wants. Us to have kids. Us living our happily ever after.

  Except we can’t. We might not ever get our happily ever after. Because our enemies are always going to be one step ahead of us.

  I can’t hold back the tears any longer. I hate that I can’t give him that. I can’t give him his dream, not while we live our lives in danger.

  Arlo squeezes me tighter. “Tell me, Nina. Let me take the pain away.”

  “You can’t.”

  “Sure I can. That’s what we do for each other. We save each other. We heal each other. We take the pain away.”

  I cry until I can’t anymore. Until I’m hiccuping because I can’t cry anymore.

  “What did Eden say?”

  “She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t the one that called. Matteo did.”

  “Matteo?”

  I nod.

  “He said he has Eden. He’s had her this whole time. The whole time we have been having the time of our lives, she has been living a nightmare locked up as Matteo’s slave.”

  “Matteo wouldn’t do that. He’s a good man.”

  I look at Arlo and he knows what I’m saying is true. I don’t know what happened to Matteo after we left. If Enrico got to him or the pain of us leaving did. But he’s a different person now.

  I touch the painting of the dream that Arlo had for us. A dream that I now realize is exactly what I want but will probably never have.

  “And if I ever want to see Eden alive again, we have to go back. He’s going to kill her if I don’t give myself back to him.”

  Arlo holds me tighter. He won’t give me up without a fight. But this is Eden we are talking about. He knows I will do anything for her. She’s my best friend. I love her. I should have been there for her this last year.

  I’ve talked to her countless times on the phone and every time she protected me instead of asking me to save her. She kept me away
. She saved me, now it’s my turn to save her.

  The End

  * * *

  Keep reading for Eden and Matteo’s story in Dirty Addiction…

  Dirty Addiction

  Prologue

  Nina

  One year.

  That’s how long Eden has been gone.

  Taken.

  Stolen.

  That’s how long I’ve been living my life, blissfully ignorant while I was enjoying my new life with my new love, she was going through hell.

  One year.

  That’s how long Matteo has had her.

  Matteo used to be caring. A man that I even loved, although never as much as Arlo.

  But Arlo and I leaving changed him. Hardened him again. And now who knows what he is capable of.

  One year.

  That’s how long Eden has been with Matteo.

  Was she beaten?

  Tortured?

  Raped?

  Or did she soften Matteo’s heart, the way Arlo softened his with me?

  One year is a long time. I’m a horrible friend for not realizing she was hurting. She needed me, and I wasn’t there. I’ll never forgive myself if Matteo hurt Eden.

  Eden’s strong. She’ll survive another few hours until Arlo and I get to Italy to rescue her. Arlo didn’t want me to go. He wanted to go alone. But there was no way I won’t be there for my friend, now that I know she needs me.

  Eden’s strong, but I know how being stolen affects people. Makes you addicted. To getting better. To proving you haven’t changed. To life.

  But sometimes, you get addicted to the darkness and let it consume you. With no hope to escape.

  1

  Eden

  One Year Earlier

  * * *

  My life is perfect.

  I have the perfect body, which I work hard to keep in shape every day.

  I have the perfect condo with an oceanfront view in Los Angeles, California.