Falling Into the Black

by Caitlin Ricci

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Resan

  WHEN EM called me, nearly a month later, I tried not to get my hopes up. It wasn’t that I was getting tired of having only Arin for company or that he walked around naked all the time, teasing me with his body, which I resolutely did not touch until he crawled into bed with me at night. It was that I was bored out of my mind. I hadn’t done anything productive in a month, and if Em said it was time to get off this planet and go back to Wish, I was more than ready.

  “Hello?” I answered his comcall as I put the earpiece into my ear.

  Arin looked over at me, clearly curious as he stopped splashing around in the river. He was only five feet from where I was sitting on the bank.

  “The investigation into Arin’s death, Bowman’s murder, and the murder of the two peacekeepers has been closed. Officially Arin killed Bowman, then the peacekeepers when they found him, and he died while fighting them. It’s all rather simple.”

  “Does this mean we can return to Wish?”

  “If I got a few months of vacation, I wouldn’t sound nearly as desperate to come back to work.”

  I laughed. “I’m more than ready. You and Corbin are welcome to run away for a while if you want to once we’re back.”

  “I just might. Arin’s new name is Darren Amut.”

  It took me a few seconds longer than it should have to process that. “You gave him my last name.”

  “We thought it should look as if he’s your husband if anyone official asks. That was Thierry’s idea. That kid has a lot more information about black market dealings than Corbin is comfortable with, but he was also traveling for years, so I guess it is to be expected. Will you be coming back soon, then?”

  We would be headed back shortly. I knew that for certain. Arin looked just as eager to get back as I was. “We’ll be on the shuttle within the hour.”

  “It’ll be good to see you again.”

  “You too.” I ended the comcall and took the earpiece out of my ear. “Your new name is Darren Amut.”

  He made a face at it. “Your last name is Amut?”

  I nodded. “And you’re my husband now too.”

  Arin shrugged and came out of the river. “I’ll go get packed. Do you think anyone will recognize me?”

  To me, he looked the same. His hair was longer, though. Now it fell around his cheeks instead of just over his forehead. And it was lighter from spending every day out in the sun while he swam in the river. He’d gained some muscle too since the last time he’d been on Wish. But he was still Arin.

  “Someone might. Actually, most people will probably recognize you. I wonder if the rest of the aspasians there will be stupid enough to buy that you’re Arin’s twin brother.”

  “And that I’m devastated at the loss of him?” He stopped walking when he came up next to me. “Maybe. I can pretend to be Denobelas, but I can’t pass for Sythe or anything else really.”

  “Pretend that you’re his twin brother, then. I don’t know.” It was a stupid plan, but we didn’t have a better one that got us both back on Wish.

  He smiled softly as he turned away from me. “Did we fall in love while you consoled me over my brother’s death? In my time of need, you were there to comfort me while I grieved for Arin’s loss.”

  He sounded sincere, but I still rolled my eyes. “Can you pull that off?”

  He glanced back at me and gave me a quick nod. “I’ve been doing far-harder acting than that for years. And besides, pretending to love you because you came and rescued me isn’t even that far off of the truth.”

  “Good. Now go pack your things and put some clothes on. Your days of being naked all the time are over.” Even as I said it, I realized how wrong I was. He just laughed at me and headed into the house.

  Within an hour we were packed, our few things were loaded back onto my shuttle, and he was strapped into one of the seats behind my chair. “Ready?” I asked him.

  “Very.”

  I glanced back at him to see him stretched out and looking completely at ease. “Good. We’ll be on Wish in two days. Might as well relax until then.”

  He shot me a smile, then closed his eyes. He was asleep shortly after that. I wished I was so relaxed that I could fall asleep as easily as he had done.

  WHEN WE got to Asiq, I signed Arin in as if he was new there. And I introduced him as Arin’s brother, Darren, as well. Not everyone bought it, but they didn’t question me either. I left him there in the lounge to answer questions and receive hugs from his friends while I went in search of Em, Corbin, Monroe, or even Thierry. Whoever I could tell that we were back would suffice.

  I found Em coming out of an office, and he pulled me in for a hug. “Good to see you too,” I said as I patted his shoulder.

  He let me go. “We’re behind on missions.”

  Of course we were. “Give me a few minutes to put my stuff down and make sure he’s going to be fine settling in here, and then I’ll be ready to go. Will you let Monroe know we’re here?”

  “We won’t be going immediately, and Monroe is off with Thierry right now. Undisclosed location, but he promised it’s close enough that if we needed him for anything he could come back. Corbin is officially in charge, so I’ll tell him that you’re here.”

  As if he needed an excuse to spend more time with his lover. “Thanks.” I walked past him and headed to my familiar rooms. It was good to be back in my space with all of my things. I dropped off my bag and went to go take a real shower with hot water and everything.

  When I came out, Arin was sitting on my bed. He had a pile of candy wrappers already in front of him.

  “When you said you were going to eat a lot of chocolate, somehow I assumed that it would be your own chocolate and not the piles from my room.”

  I put my pants on while he kept eating. It was even good to be back in those comfortable black lounge pants that Monroe had everyone wear while they were at Asiq.

  He smirked over at me. “Some of the aspasians want to have a vigil for Arin in a few hours. Not sure how I feel about being around people that stupid, or going to my own service.”

  I sat down next to him on the bed. “I doubt they’re being stupid. Maybe they’re just trying to play along.” At least I hoped that was the case. It seemed ridiculous now that I’d ever wanted to pretend that Arin was Darren. Arin was clearly himself. “Maybe we should get you on a different rotation than what the aspasians you’re used to are on.”

  “What about the two weeks that I’m off, then, while I’m hiding from my friends?”

  I shrugged. “You could spend the time in here with me.”

  “While you screw all of my friends?” He rolled his eyes. I threw a few empty candy wrappers at him. “No thanks. I’ll figure something out. You managed to get me back here, and I’m officially dead, so I’ll go with that explanation. It’s the simplest by far.”

  “And the easiest to keep track of,” I reminded him.

  Arin nodded.

  “When do you go back to work?”

  He stopped eating the chocolates. “Tomorrow morning. My first appointment is at nine.”

  “Will you be okay?”

  He gave me a half smile. “I have to be. I’m an aspasian.”

  That didn’t mean he had to put himself through anything horrible again if he didn’t want to, but I wasn’t going to argue with him about it either. He knew what was going on. He didn’t need me to remind him of his life here, and we’d already argued about how strong he was enough for my tastes.

  “Em and I will probably be going out on a quick mission here soon, but I’ll be here up until then if you need me for anything.”

  “What do you think I’d need you for?”

  I was a lot more used to his snark now. “Maybe you need a friend.”

  He snickered. “I have friends here.”

  I knew he did. “I could be one of them too.”

  He shrugged as if it didn’t really matter to him if I could be or not. �
�You might be a good friend to have, peacekeeper.” He kissed my cheek, then moved away from me again. “Are you going to take me to the market? You did promise.”

  I remembered saying that. “Sure. I’d like that.”

  “Me too.” He kept eating chocolates while I got ready.

  He didn’t get dressed to go outside, but I hadn’t expected him to either. The men at Asiq all wore the same black pants, and people recognized them as being part of the brothel. He didn’t even put on shoes before we walked quietly to the back door. I didn’t need to tell Corbin that we were leaving. If he was anything like Monroe, then he would be monitoring the cameras right now anyway. Unless of course he was with Em at the moment. Either way, I wasn’t too worried. Before we stepped out into the ever-present sunlight of Wish, though, I needed to change him up a bit. He was still far too noticeable as Arin. In Asiq it was okay, almost, for him to be recognized if anyone actually called him out on it. A lot of the aspasians here weren’t too big of fans of peacekeepers besides myself. Nothing they did here was illegal, but many of them had minor criminal records they wouldn’t want being called out if it came to that. It wouldn’t, I hoped, but I still wanted to make sure he was less recognizable out there in the busy market.

  “What’s wrong?” Arin asked me as I pulled him to a stop just inside the door.

  I looked him over. His smile was back in place, but the darkness was still there in his eyes. He looked wary, but no longer quite as scared as he had been. That was a minor improvement at least. “Your hair needs some work.”

  He made a face. “My hair’s fine. Yours is the one that needs a cut.”

  Mine was longer than it had been too, but there wasn’t much I could do about my style. He’d been wearing his hair the same way since I’d met him. It was time for him to do something different, besides just growing it out longer. Darren would not have worn his hair in the same way that Arin had. The problem was, though, that I wasn’t good with hair. I had exactly no experience with other people’s hair actually, so when I reached up and started messing with his, all I managed to do was make him look even more as if he’d just rolled out of bed. It wasn’t a bad look for him, but I found myself suddenly wanting him back in bed and on top of me like he’d taken to doing lately.

  “Better?” he asked me. He sounded impatient.

  “More or less.”

  Smirking at me, he went for the door. “Then I guess we’re ready.” He took my hand without asking, and we walked along the backside of Asiq toward where the market began. The paths were cool on my bare feet, even though they were in direct sunlight. Every tree and bush was in bloom, and the market was full of colorful booths. Street performers sang and played music from their holoscreens as we walked between the vendors selling different fruits, vegetables, and meats from all over the sector.

  Arin held tightly to my hand as we walked. Occasionally he’d stop to look at something, and I watched the people around us to see if any of them recognized him, but many of them were far too busy appreciating the view of him as he browsed. He seemed oblivious to it, but from his sharp look around each time he got done with a booth, I knew he wasn’t. He was just good at pretending to be completely unaware of what was happening around him.

  We walked through the whole market, taking the afternoon to enjoy everything it had to offer. As the first vendors gave way to the second ones, Arin and I found a spot to sit in under a tree with great white blooms on it that filled the air with a sweet perfume. He’d picked out a dozen or so fruits to bring back to the others at Asiq, and without saying a word, he handed me one.

  “Thank you.”

  He nodded and bit into one as well. Red juice ran over his lips and down his throat. I wiped at it before it could go much farther. I resisted the urge to run my tongue over his neck and lick him clean. Not only were we in public, but I was pretty sure he wouldn’t have liked that. A few people smiled at him, and he smiled back.

  “Do you think they recognize you?” I quietly asked him.

  He shook his head. “They want me, but they don’t know who I am. I’m just Darren. I’m a sweet little aspasian who likes sex and wasn’t getting enough before joining Asiq. Nothing else to me. Boring little life on a tiny planet and now I’m here and looking to play with as many people as I can as long as they’ve got the credits to make it worth my while.” He ended his little introduction with a bat of his eyelashes in my direction. As if he needed to flirt with me at all to get me to want him.

  I smiled and pretended he didn’t affect me at all. “That’s the cover story you’re going with?”

  He shrugged. “Sure. It’s better than the truthful alternative, and the best part of it is that some of it is actually true. I do enjoy sex, and if a hot guy with lots of credits wants me, then I’m his. I like that it’s not complicated. Sure, I’m pretending to a big degree sometimes, but there aren’t second dates and wondering if a guy is interested afterward either. If he liked having me, then he comes back for me. If not it’s not a huge loss. As you can see, there’s no shortage of men looking to join an aspasian in bed.”

  He was definitely right about that. “I like that it’s easy too. I don’t have to worry about staying in contact with one of you after we’re through or pretending to be interested as you talk about your mother or your friends or whatever else is going on. It’s simple and a great way to relax.”

  Arin grinned at me. “Yeah, it is. You ever worry about the guys you’re with just doing it for the credits and not actually wanting you?”

  I hadn’t considered it to be a possibility before, but now that he’d mentioned it, I definitely was. “Do any of them wish they hadn’t been with me?”

  He shook his head, and I relaxed a bit. That was one less thing to worry about. “They all love being with you. You’re so heroic and dramatic, and your life is so dangerous.” He rolled his eyes. “And apparently you like to kiss. And you also make sure they all get off too. It’s not a priority for a lot of the people we’re with there.”

  I wasn’t sure how much my purple skin could show me blushing, but I definitely felt my cheeks heating up. “They’re right. I do. Has anyone told you who your first appointment is with tomorrow?”

  Arin nodded. “He’s a regular, but not one of mine.”

  “If you want to talk after, you only have to come down to my room, assuming I’m still here,” I offered.

  “And, assuming you’re not out hunting bad guys, what if you’re with someone else during my nonexistent meltdown?”

  I laughed and took another bite of my fruit. “I hope to still be here. So if you are having an issue, come see me.”

  He rolled his eyes, but he did smile. “I might just do that. Thanks. Restock your chocolate stash first.” He was quiet for a while as we both ate our fruit and hung out under the tree. “Why wouldn’t you be with someone, though? I figured as soon as you were back in Asiq, there’d be a line out your bedroom door of guys wanting to be with you.”

  I snorted. I couldn’t believe he thought things had ever been like that for me while I had been there. “Is that what you think I do all of the time while I’m here?”

  He grinned at me. “Tell me you’ve ever had to resort to your own hand while you’ve been there.”

  I couldn’t. Anytime I’d wanted to be with someone, I’d had company. Sometimes even multiple companies. “I don’t just have sex while I’m there. I also protect you all.”

  “Protecting us with your cock. That’s new.” He gave me a wink. I gave his shoulder a light push. After he’d finished off his fruit and I was still nibbling on mine, he laid his head on my shoulder and softly sighed. “It’s good to be back on Wish. I feel so at home here.”

  I looked around the market, and I could see what he was getting at. For a lot of people, Wish was just a pleasure planet. Somewhere for them to stop off, get their needs met, and then go on with their lives. But for the people who lived here and worked here, there was a whole vibrancy to it. The planet was li
fe and color and joy everywhere. Every day was a party, and everyone was invited to it.

  “Think you’ll be a lifer at Asiq like Corbin is?”

  “Probably. As much as I’d like to have someone for myself and settle down someday, it’s not likely to happen. And I like the credits I get from working at Asiq, and the satisfaction isn’t bad either.”

  I tossed aside the core of my fruit and wrapped my arm around his side, laying my fingertips over his hip. “It’s not impossible that you’d find someone. Em thought no one would ever love a bounty hunter, and yet there they are, completely happy and in love.”

  Arin tilted his head back, and I tried to smile at him, but the sadness in his gaze stopped me. “You know everything about me, and yet you think I’m tainted and broken. If you do then someone else will too. I don’t want a relationship where I’m lying to him all the time about what I’ve been through. I’d like to be thought of as more than what was done to me, but I can’t ignore that part of my past either.”

  I leaned down and kissed him as softly as I could manage. “You’re not tainted or broken,” I whispered against his lips.

  He shrugged and lay back on the soft grass. “Maybe not, to you at least, but someone else will probably think so once they know my history. That’s my point. I can’t pretend long-term. I need breaks, and sometimes I don’t do so well. I would need someone who could understand that, and be okay with me still working at Asiq because even if I loved them and they loved me, I would still need my own way to provide for myself, and being an aspasian rocks in that department. I was a prisoner once, and I know that not having my own money could put me right there again. A person like that doesn’t exist, though, so Asiq will be my life for as long as Monroe or Corbin let me keep working there.”

  He was asking for a lot, but I still wanted him to find it too. “I hope you find someone like that.”

  “Thank you.”

  I reached down and pushed some of his hair away from his face. He smiled at me, and I wished I could take away all of his pain and his past so that he could be happy.