Winter Storms

by Oliver, Lucy

  Perhaps he shouldn’t have told her about being on the team, but it would have come out eventually and then she’d have demanded to know why he hadn’t told her sooner. In fact he would have mentioned it earlier if he’d known it would have such an impact on her; it just hadn’t seemed so important, until he saw the expression on her face. Of course, it hadn’t appeared so vital to him because he had two golds and numerous other trophies. Carly didn’t.

  Ali caught her breath, leaning back in the chair, swaying slightly.

  “Is it worth ringing the midwife?” his mother said, looking at her.

  “I’m fine, just a bit of back ache,” she said. “I don’t think anything’s going to happen for a few days and Steve will be home at the weekend.”

  “You’ll be over your due date by then.”

  “First babies take ages, Mum, everyone knows that.”

  “I just wish your father was here, especially on a night like this.”

  Ali froze. “It’s just a bit of rain, nothing serious. I checked the weather forecast earlier and they never mentioned a storm.”

  Daniel glanced out the kitchen window. In the garden, the back fence was straining against its posts and the apple trees bent close to the ground. A rattle of hail hit the glass and he shivered. What would it be like for the crew of the Harvester, out in the ocean? Liam was on his first trip and the powerful, fifteen foot waves of an Atlantic gale were very different from the coastal weather he was used to.

  “What’s it like?” Ali said.

  He looked at her, seeing her place a hand against her lower back. “It’s fine, just a bit blowy, the trawler will be fine.”

  “But you don’t know the ocean in winter.”

  “I’ve sailed on it.” He’d never told his family about volunteering with the Padstow lifeboat, they’d guess immediately why he did it, and his mother was fed up with him feeling guilty. Certainly, she blamed Carly for the fact he never returned to Haven Bay, his mother could never understand the all-consuming obsession of a professional sportsperson. To be fair, most people didn’t, unless you were one yourself, or married to one; the spouses suffered too.

  Staring at his plate, he tapped his fork against the china. Carly would have been one of those spouses, the type who accepted an early morning wake-up call, no holidays and your husband vanishing for part the year. And she would have done so knowing that the person who spent all day training ought to have been her. Lost in dreams of them married, he hadn’t appreciated what life would be like living together, but she had.

  Imogen used to be sympathetic when he came home in a foul mood because he’d lost, or made a mistake which cost him points. He couldn’t come home to Carly and complain about the difficulties of his day.

  But despite all that, he still wanted her back, couldn’t accept that he might never see her again. It was even more painful this time because he knew now that she couldn’t be replaced, there was only one woman for him. If Imogen, with her kindness and cheerful smiles hadn’t been enough, then it was time to accept that no one would be.

  Dropping the fork, he swallowed another mouthful of his tea and looked at Ali.

  “Will you be all right if I go out for a drink?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” his sister said.

  “Ring if you need me, I’ll be in the sailing club bar.” Rising, he frowned and looked at her again, she didn’t look comfortable. If the baby was coming, then he’d have to drive her to the hospital and possibly stay with her. It wasn’t a thought he relished — they were close, but it should be Steve with her, or failing that, his mother, but since neither of them could do it, if Ali needed him, he’d have to help her.

  Taking his jacket from a peg, he went down the hall and opened the front door, pulling up his hood as the wind seared across his face with a blast of icy sleet. Damn this weather, it caused nothing but trouble. He needed to get out though, to clear his head, forget Carly. A few drinks would do that; hopefully on a night like this the bar would be empty. Striding down the path, he glanced at his sister’s car and cursed. He couldn’t even drown his sorrows tonight, if Ali went into labour, he’d have to drive.

  • • •

  Carly lay in bed, staring up at the flickering of her bedroom light on the ceiling. Every few minutes the power would dim and she’d glance at the small lamp, wondering how long the power lines could stay up in this weather. Was Liam all right? The skipper was experienced, but even confident seamen floundered on a night such as this. It arrived so fast, this gale, sending thundering torrents of rain pouring from the sky, melting the remains of the snow and tearing bushes from the ground in the park. Was Liam scared? Clinging to the trawler as it tossed helplessly in the giant waves? Thumping the mattress, she knew there was nothing she could do, Liam’s fate was in the hands of the weather and the strength of the Sea Harvester.

  Hugging her brushed cotton penguin pyjamas, she shivered again at the groan of the trees outside; it would have been nice to have Daniel beside her, comforting her with his warm presence. Drawing a shaky breath, she wiped her eyes again, the skin beneath red and sore. Even though she’d known it would hurt, the depth of the pain still shocked her. She’d expected to cry, to want to stay in bed. She hadn’t expected to vomit, to lay sobbing on the bathroom floor as if bereaved. Although, in some way, she was. Didn’t people say that divorce was as hard to accept as death? They were right. Daniel still lived, thank goodness, but she would have to watch from a distance as he fell in love and married another. Because he would, of course, he’d already been engaged once since they split up, it wouldn’t take him too long to find another girl. One who suited him better than she did.

  The expression in his eyes, though — that was what she found hard to forget, he didn’t look like he thought she’d done him a favour, he looked destroyed. She thought his feelings were driven by guilt, but maybe she’d been wrong. Perhaps he did love her, it was so hard to know. They’d been apart for such a long time. Turning over, she punched the pillow. If breaking up with him had been the right thing to do, then why did she feel so wretched?

  The wind crashed against her window again and kneeling on the bed, she pulled back the curtain to look out. Under the edge of a glow from the rising sun, the trees waves wildly, as if electrocuted by a giant bolt of lightning and in the dark sea, huge waves smashed down, white tipped and angry. A loud crash echoed from the paving slabs outside and she jumped, peering down at the shattered remains of a red roof tile.

  How would Ali be feeling tonight? Knowing that her baby could come any moment, while her husband fought the waves, far out to sea?

  Well, she wasn’t going to stay here listening to the crashing of trees, she’d go down to the harbour to see if Liam’s boat had returned. When she saw it tied to the jetty, because of course, it wouldn’t stay at sea in this weather, she’d be able to sleep. Sliding out of bed, she pulled a pair of tracksuit trousers over her pyjamas, then yanked on a thick sweater and thrust her feet into winter boots. Wrapped in a duffel coat and with a cable knit woollen hat pulled over her ears — this was no weather for an umbrella — she grabbed her keys and stick, before letting herself out of the flat.

  Outside, she gasped as the vicious icy wind ripped across her cheeks. This was insane, Mick would be furious if he saw her. Planting the cane hard on the ground, she bent over and shuffled along, stepping around the fallen tree branches lying like huge tangled bird nests, topped with roof tiles instead of eggs. There was a snap above her and she jerked sideways as a sapling crashed down. Carly stared at it, hands shaking. Should she go back? Shielding her eyes, she peered across the harbour from a safe distance.

  High green waves crashed onto the pontoon, knocking the boats together in an explosion of spray. Out on the ocean, Liam’s hands would be numb and his breath freezing in the air. An icy deluge shot over the sea wall, crashing against her legs
and knocking her sideways. Slamming her cane to the ground, she hauled herself up, soaked to the thighs, when another wave smashed over the cobblestones and she went down again, groaning as the freezing water burned her skin.

  “What are you doing?” a voice said and hard hands grasped her waist, dragging her upright. “Have you lost your mind?”

  Coughing, she straightened, planting her stick hard on the ground. Of all the people she didn’t want to see, didn’t want to be rescued by, it would be Daniel who saved her.

  “I came out to see if the Harvester was back,” she said. “I was worried about Liam, and anyway, you seem to be out here too.”

  “I can walk,” he said.

  Carly cringed, wide eyed; how could he be so blunt, so cruel? This wasn’t the Daniel that she knew, had she done this to him? She looked at him, mouth open, but he didn’t apologise, just stood staring down at her through hard eyes.

  “Go back to bed, Carly. I’ll ring you and let you know if the boat is back in the harbour.”

  “No, I don’t think I will, actually, I’d like to see for myself.” Her voice trembled and she hoped he hadn’t heard it over the howling of the gale.

  “So your stubbornness will finish off what my foolishness started? Don’t be absurd, you can hardly stand now, if I hadn’t caught you when I did, you could’ve been swept away.”

  “I don’t care.” But she spoke quietly and the wind swallowed her words. “Why are you out here?” she shouted, instead.

  “Ali’s got herself into a state,” he said. “She thinks she can hear screaming above the waves, that they’re wrecked on the cliffs.”

  “You couldn’t hear anything over this storm.”

  “I know, but I said I’d check.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  “I’d rather you didn’t, I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other.”

  Tears stung her cheeks again. Thankfully in the dim light, Daniel wouldn’t be able to see them, twisting away, she stepped into the force of the wind, groaning as it slammed against her legs, burning her wasted muscles — this had been a stupid thing to do. Daniel was right, she couldn’t manage in weather like this, she wasn’t strong enough, but it was impossible to relax until she knew that Liam was safe — he was the little brother she’d raised herself and she couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to him. Taking a deep breath, she crept forward a few inches, catching her breath as the rain drove into her face.

  A hand gripped her arm and she screamed, twisting around. It was Daniel, standing behind her, jaw set.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “You can’t manage in this, it’s getting worse. Come with me, we’ll check the harbour and then I’ll escort you home.”

  “I thought you didn’t want to be with me?” Her teeth chattered and she bit her lip, tasting warm, metallic blood in her mouth.

  “That doesn’t mean I want you to end up with a broken leg.” Pushing his arm through hers, he gripped her tight as a wave smashed across the sea front and freezing water swirled around her knees, filling her boots.

  “I’ll find you somewhere to shelter, while I check the harbour,” he said. “It’s too dangerous for you to go down there, the waves could sweep you into the sea.”

  “Or you.”

  “I’ve got more chance then you have.” Taking two steps, he stopped, tilting his head and frowning.

  The storm lulled and she jerked her head up, listening, there it was again, the pealing of an alarm. She drew a sharp breath, clutching at his arm.

  “What is it? What is it?” Daniel shouted.

  “It’s the lifeboat station, the crew have been summoned.” She whirled around to stare into the ocean, at the huge waves exploding across the seawall.

  • • •

  Outside the lifeboat station, she jumped when a loud rattle echoed through the night air. She recognised the sound as the main doors to the slipway opening; the boat was about to be launched.

  Machinery squealed and an alarm rang incessantly, making her heart pound in her chest. Lights blazed through the open entrances and a radio crackled. She didn’t want to get in the way, but she had to know which boat they’d been called out for.

  Inside, Mick stood by the orange lifeboat, which trembled as its electrics switched on, casting a shadow over him in the shape of a huge coffin. Bending down, he pulled a pair of bright yellow waterproof over-trousers on, his face set and serious.

  “Seen the rest of the crew?” he shouted, over the screech of metal.

  “Yes, Phil and Tony are behind us, and both the Bainbridges,” Carly said. “Who is it, Mick? Who’s out there?”

  Mick yanked a jacket from the rack. “Sweetheart, I’ve got to move.”

  “Mick?”

  He glanced at her. “It’s the Sea Harvester, swamped a couple of miles from shore.” He dragged his boots on, turning to look out the door and muttering impatiently.

  Carly jumped back as three men and a youth raced past her, snatching clothes from the racks. Daniel touched her shoulder, squeezing gently, moving her out the way. Of course, he knew the drill.

  “Who is it?” Ian Bainbridge said, throwing a jacket to his son.

  “Hang on, I’m not having both of you out there,” Mick said. “Only one from each family on a night like this.”

  “I’ll go Dad,” Luke said.

  “You won’t,” his father said. “Never hear the last of it from your mother, you stay here and help from the shore.”

  “You’ll be a man down, Harry won’t be able to get here, not straight away, the coastal road’s flooded again, so I’ll have to go,” Luke said.

  “No you bloody well won’t, you’re eighteen. If the skipper says it’s too dangerous, then you ain’t going,” Ian said.

  “I’ll go,” Daniel said. “Got a spare wet weather suit? I’m trained, I work out of Padstow.”

  “Daniel no,” Carly said.

  He glanced at her and she stepped back. Of course she couldn’t expect him to let an inexperienced lad risk his life on a night when the waves peaked at fifteen feet. But she couldn’t bear to think of him out there, she couldn’t lose both of them. Her jaw trembled and she wiped her cheek with a rough hand, this was no time for tears. Snatching a waterproof jacket, she helped him into it, touching his face, fixing it into her memory.

  “Time to launch!” Mick shouted.

  Daniel pulled on a lifejacket and helmet, climbing up the ladder into the boat. It looked so small and fragile. Could it stand against the storm?

  “We’ll be all right,” Mick said, glancing over his shoulder as he climbed the ladder.

  A klaxon shrieked behind her and she jumped, grasping the rail as the rolling walkway switched on and the boat slid toward the open entrance above the slipway. It tilted on the edge and she caught a last glimpse of Daniel’s face, before the craft lurched forward, and shot down into the swirling, dark waters below. The engines kicked in and, lifting a hand to her mouth, she stared into the blackness, as it roared away.

  A wave crashed over the top of the lifeboat and briefly it vanished from sight, before rising up again, engines spluttering as the crew fought to control it. What must it be like in that cabin? Being thrown back and forward in their seats as if they rode the world’s most terrifying roller coaster.

  If they went down, who rescued the lifeboat crew?

  No, she mustn’t think like that. They were an experienced crew, and while the boat was old, it was sound and would withstand the gale, it had too, she couldn’t contemplate losing Daniel. Luke touched her back and she jumped.

  “It’s looks worse than it is,” he said. “The boats are designed to follow the waves, which is why they can go out in storms that destroy other boats.”

  “Liam is on the Sea Harvester,” she
said. “It’s a basic trawler.”

  He nodded and squeezed her arm. “Come through to the waiting area, you’re soaked, and frozen. The crew will phone in soon, every few minutes we get a call.”

  He guided her through to the office, where she sank down on a plastic chair, her teeth clattering and goose bumps down her arms. Icy wind blew against her hair, until Luke slammed the doors shut and switched on a small electric heater. Carly stared at the glowing bars. How long until they knew everyone was safe? She ought to ring Daniel’s home, his family would be wondering where he was, but her muscles were weak and aching and she couldn’t face having to tell Ali that her husband’s boat was sinking.

  Loud voices drifted from the main hanger and then the office door opened, Carly twisted around; was the boat back already? No, it was Ali, her hair soaking wet and clutching her stomach. She certainly shouldn’t be here and hopefully she wasn’t alone. A hysterical pregnant woman wasn’t someone she wanted to be dealing with at this moment.

  Thankfully, Daniel’s mother stepped in behind her, her face pale and strained. They must have given up waiting for news and hearing the alarms, come down; she should have phoned them earlier.

  “Any news?” His mother said. “We’ve lost Daniel too, he never came back, I’m calling the police, there’s trees down all over the road out there, maybe he got hit.”

  “Sit down,” Carly said. At least she could reassure them that Daniel wasn’t trapped, although the news he was out with the lifeboat was hardly going to be well received.

  “Have you heard anything?” Ali said.

  “Daniel’s gone out with the lifeboat crew, they were a man down and he volunteered.”

  “Daniel?” his mother said, hand to her mouth. “He’s not trained.”

  “He’s a member of the Padstow crew,” Carly said. “He probably forgot to tell you.” She quietly cursed him, no doubt he’d kept it quiet to avoid worrying them, but she could done without having to break the news under these circumstances.