Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  Katy nodded to the table and asked, “What about the blonde?”

  “Murph suspects something between us so I figured if I hung out with her tonight, he might think otherwise.”

  Katy bit her lip, seeing his point. He ran his thumb down her cheek.

  “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

  “I’m not jealous,” Katy denied and crossed her arms over her chest.

  He laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll be in your bed at the end of the night.”

  She leaned up and kissed him. “You better be.”

  They both heard someone clear their throat. “Alright, lovebirds, break it up before the guys see.” Murph didn’t make eye contact with either of them as he passed by.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Katy sucked in the cold air, her lungs burning. It was a feeling she was used to from running outside, but it always reminded her of how she imagined Nick felt lying at the bottom of the burning building. She was relieved that the holidays were over because it was the hardest time for her. This year seemed easier than last, because she knew what to expect and because Jesse was there this time around.

  After the pregnancy scare, they had taken extra measures to ensure there wasn’t another. Katy started using a diaphragm. As a doctor, she refused to put extra hormones in her body. Jesse stocked up on condoms, keeping them anywhere he thought they might have sex: the bedroom, the bathroom, his truck. He even kept a few in his locker at work on the off chance she might stop by. It was unlikely since Katy had only been to Firehouse 58 four times in her life. The last time was the day she and Nick stopped by to tell the crew the baby was a boy. She didn’t want to see Patrick Doyle, the proby who had cost Nick his life.

  Katy’s runs had started getting longer. This year, her name had finally been pulled for the New York City marathon coming up in November. Although she hadn’t officially started training, she was trying to run a little longer each day. With a mile left, she pushed herself to sprint to the end. She stopped her Garmin at ten miles on the dot and walked to catch her breath. Her lungs were on fire, but it didn’t bother her today; her mind was somewhere else.

  She thought back to the night before when she walked into the bedroom from the shower. Jesse glanced up from what he was reading and smiled. She raised an eyebrow at him and he nodded. Dropping her towel, she crawled over his body. He pulled her up to him and she giggled. They started kissing and rubbing their bodies against each other, the sheet the only barrier between them. She felt him growing beneath her and leaned over to get a condom from the nightstand but he grabbed her hand to stop her.

  “Can we talk for a minute?”

  She leaned back, resting against him as his hand grazed over the letters on her ribcage that read Thar Gach Ni, Gra Go Deo Nicholas. She nodded, wondering how Jesse felt when he read those words that translated to, Above all else, love forever Nicholas.

  She ran her hands over his abs as he started to talk. “Where do you see us in the future?”

  She stopped and looked at him, confused. “What do you mean by future?”

  He shrugged. “Let’s say the next five years.”

  She started moving her hands again. “Hmm, I haven’t really thought about it,” she said and smiled. “Hopefully, in five years, I’ll be the breadwinner of the family and you’ll be the stay-at-home dad.” She took every opportunity she had to interject her thoughts about ways for him to leave the FDNY.

  “Stay-at-home dad to Nicky? Or more kids?”

  She stopped. “More kids? I didn’t think you wanted kids.”

  He shrugged. “I’m open to the idea.”

  She nodded slowly, letting it sink in. Had he wanted her to be pregnant last month? He took her left hand and twisted her wedding ring back and forth.

  “Would you ever consider marrying me?”

  Katy’s stomach fluttered and her heart rate increased but she didn’t move. This was something she didn’t ever want to think about. She only wanted to be Mrs. Garrity, but at the same time, she loved Jesse and wanted to make him happy. He leaned forward and lightly touched his lips to hers.

  “You don’t have to answer. Let’s just go to sleep.”

  She nodded and got out of bed, pulling on one of his t-shirts. She turned off the light as she laid down with her back to him. He rolled over and pulled her close to him. Kissing her below her ear, he whispered, “I want you to be mine.”

  ***

  Katy rolled her neck back and forth trying to loosen her muscles. She felt a strong pair of hands touch her and start massaging her shoulders. She let out a low moan.

  Jeremiah smiled and asked, “Feel good?”

  “You give the best massages,” she mumbled.

  “Well, I need my girl at her best. Charley’s due any day now.”

  She nodded and turned around. “I know. My pager hasn’t left my side for the past two weeks. I’ll be ready.”

  He kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Knockout. You know I really appreciate it.”

  She shook her head at his nickname for her that was inspired by her full name: Katherine Olivia. He grinned and walked off just as Tiffany arrived. Tiffany watched him go then turned to Katy.

  “I told you to stay away from him. He’s still got feelings for you.”

  Katy shrugged. “Maybe, but I’ve told him multiple times we aren’t getting back together.”

  “It’s not fair to him, Katy. He can’t move on when he’s getting mixed signals from you.”

  Katy looked at her, surprised. Tiffany never came to his defense.

  “Did he tell you something?”

  “No,” Tiffany said exasperated, “but it’s obvious. Deliver the baby and then get out of his life.”

  Katy bit her lip. She wasn’t sure she was ready to let go of another man she had once loved.

  ***

  Katy paced in the waiting area of Donatelli’s. Jesse was only ten minutes late but as Katy moved, she fought her feelings that went back and forth between worry and anger. This was the second night this week that she’d arranged a babysitter and gotten dressed up. Jesse had missed their Valentine’s Day date four days earlier. He claimed the Chief’s mom had gotten sick again and he needed to sit with her. Katy didn’t believe him, but hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to the Chief about it.

  She walked back and forth in her little black dress, the one that stopped mid-thigh and was probably a size too small, or so she felt since her chest was pushed up, almost falling out of the top. She turned to walk back across the room and smiled as she saw Jesse watching her in black dress pants and a light grey button up with the top button undone. She practically ran across the room into his arms. He pulled her close and kissed her so hard that she was tingling throughout her body when he pulled away.

  He smiled, looking down into her eyes. “You didn’t think I’d stand you up twice?”

  She shrugged, still holding on to him. “I didn’t think you’d stand me up once.”

  “Thanks for being understanding about that,” he said as he squeezed her waist. “You know us firemen have to look out for one another.”

  She definitely understood that. He took her hand as the hostess led them to their table. When he pulled out her chair, he kissed her hand as she took her seat. He squeezed her hand before letting it go and Katy saw that he had noticed that her wedding ring was gone. He sat down beside her and nodded toward her hand.

  “Where’s your ring?”

  “It’s Valentine’s Day. I didn’t think you wanted to be going out with a married woman.”

  He frowned. “Don’t take that off for me unless...” He took her hand and squeezed it again. “Unless you’re ready for me to put something on it.”

  Katy nodded and honestly answered, “I’m not ready for that yet.”

  Jesse smiled with a raised eyebrow. “Yet? So there’s a chance?”

  She sheepishly smiled and said, “Maybe...I’m just not ready to give up being Mrs. Garrity.”

  “That’s Dr. Garr
ity,” he corrected and kissed her hand again. “Please wear it until you’re ready for me to replace it.”

  She reached in her purse and put her wedding ring back on. She had only taken it off during her wait. Jesse smiled as she took his hand again. He twisted it back and forth taking a good look at the pearl ring surrounded by diamonds.

  He laughed and shook his head. “That damn Nick, he always set the bar high.”

  ***

  Riding back to the house after dinner, Jesse’s hand rested high on her leg. He rubbed it back and forth making Katy excited about what was in store for them when they got home. Jesse nodded toward her without taking his eyes off the road. “I really like that dress.”

  She spread her legs slightly as his hand moved inside her thigh. “I’ll be sure to wear it again for you.”

  Jesse pushed her legs further apart. “I’d like that,” he said and grinned, “but I think I’d like it off you better.” He pulled her left leg onto the bench seat, her dress riding the rest of the way up her legs gathering around her hips. They were at a stoplight. Jesse glanced over and grinned. “No panties? What were you expecting tonight?”

  She smirked and raised her eyebrow. “Probably the same as you.”

  He ran his index finger between her legs lightly. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the cool glass. He moved his finger parting her. Her heart beat faster and she bit her lip. He slid one finger inside and pulled it out.

  He smiled as the light turned green. “Already wet, huh?”

  She nodded and breathlessly mumbled, “You have that effect on me.”

  He continued driving as he put his finger back inside her moving it slowly in and out. He started rubbing his thumb against her as his finger worked. She slowly moved her hips against his hand. He glanced over as he drove, watching her get excited by his handiwork. He slipped another finger inside her. She gasped as he did and he grinned happily. He debated between continuing with his hand or pulling over to give her the real deal.

  She grabbed his hand, but not to stop him. Her breathing was rapid and he knew she’d be finished before he found a place to stop. He picked up the pace, moving his fingers faster. He knew she was on the verge. She was so close when her pager went off and she reached for her purse.

  “No, no, baby. Let it go,” he begged her.

  She shook her head, opening her purse and pulling out her pager. His hands still working fast, desperate to get her off. She read the number and started to sit up. He tried to stop her, but she pushed his hand out.

  “Take me to the hospital, Charley’s on her way.”

  Jesse sighed and pulled a quick U-turn. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Rain check?”

  He nodded, as though he had a choice. This was his payback for keeping his secret from her. He hoped one day soon, he’d be able to tell her.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Katy straightened her dress trying to calm her surging sex drive as Jesse turned the truck around to head to the hospital. If it had been any other page, she would have taken the extra few minutes, but it was Jeremiah. She’d made a promise to him and she wasn’t about to break it.

  Jesse pulled in front of the ER doors. Katy leaned over and kissed him. Her hand rubbed the bulge in his pants. He moaned in her mouth as she did. She reached behind her and opened her door.

  “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

  Katy slammed the door shut and felt awful seeing his pitiful face. She tried not to feel too bad. If he hadn’t stood her up in the first place, then they wouldn’t have been out tonight. She smiled as she walked into the doctors’ lounge to change into scrubs. Who was she kidding? They would’ve been fooling around tonight, just like they did every night they were home together.

  She pulled on her scrub top and headed for the nurses’ station. She picked up Sarah’s chart and read through it. It looked like Sarah was almost fully dilated so she should be ready to push soon. Katy walked toward her room and heard yelling inside as she pushed the door open.

  “I don’t want you in here! You don’t want anything to do with me, so just get out!” Sarah screamed as her knuckles turned white from clutching the bed rails and she glared at Jeremiah. Katy stepped in between the two of them before he could respond.

  “Hey Sarah,” Katy said breaking up the fight. “It looks like you’re almost ready to push. What is your pain level?”

  Sarah’s face was red and tear stained. She nodded and answered, “I got the epidural almost six hours ago. I think it’s wearing off.”

  Katy checked the chart and the bag of medication. She looked at Jeremiah. “Can you go tell the nurse we need the anesthesiologist to come check on her before she starts pushing?”

  Jeremiah nodded and squeezed Katy’s hand in appreciation as he left the room. She turned back to Sarah, who was lying on her side. She pressed hard on the woman’s back, massaging her tight muscles to relieve some of the pain.

  “Want to tell me what was going on when I got here?”

  Sarah sniffled. “Jeremiah doesn’t want anything to do with me. I think he got me pregnant on purpose just to have a kid.”

  Katy had to laugh to herself about that. When she and Jeremiah had been together, he was Mr. Safe Sex. His career was too important to be derailed by a child at the time. Katy had once shared the same thought process, but once Nick came along, all logic went out the window. They say that’s what love does to you.

  She kept rubbing Sarah’s back. “Jeremiah is a good man. He wouldn’t have done that on purpose.”

  Sarah huffed. “Good man? Yeah right! After he found out I was pregnant, we never went on another date again,” she said then paused. “Not that we’d ever been on a date before, it was strictly sex.”

  Katy frowned, knowing it was her fault. He’d never been that way before. He was a gentleman and had insisted on talking and getting to know her before they slept together. When she’d moved on with Nick, he finally accepted they weren’t getting back together. It sent him on a bit of a sex spree until this happened.

  “Jeremiah’s had his heart broken. I’m sure he didn’t want to hurt you.”

  Sarah glanced over her shoulder at Katy. “Broken by you?”

  Katy’s face turned red. “Well...yes.”

  “If he’s such a good man, then why am I in labor and not you?”

  Katy sighed. It was a fair question. “I fell in love with someone else.”

  Sarah looked back at the wall. “I’m never going to fall in love, not with a kid.”

  “Yes, you will. I—” Katy stopped herself before saying she had. “I think you’ll find the right guy who will love both you and Charley.” Katy rested her hands on Sarah’s shoulders and asked, “Can I give you some advice?”

  Sarah nodded.

  “Today isn’t about Jeremiah and it’s not about you. It’s about bringing a healthy little girl into the world. You don’t want to bring her into a room full of resentment, do you?”

  Sarah shook her head no.

  “Jeremiah is going to be a great father and he’ll help you out however he can. When it comes to the mom-stuff and recovery, I’ll be here for you then.”

  Sarah rolled to her back and looked up at Katy with tears in her eyes. She sniffled again. “Thank you.”

  Katy squeezed her hand and nodded. Jeremiah came back in with the anesthesiologist who began checking on Sarah’s dosage and adjusting it properly. Katy and Jeremiah stepped into the hallway.

  He hugged her tightly. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Katy took his hand in hers as he released her. “I wouldn’t miss seeing you become a dad.”

  Jeremiah fidgeted with her wedding ring. “I was worried she wasn’t going to let me stay.”

  Katy nodded. “She’s scared of the delivery and terrified about being alone.”

  Jeremiah looked down at Katy. “I won’t be alone, will I?”

  Katy studied his face wondering what he was implying. The anesthesiologist stepped ou
t of the room and turned to Katy. “She’s all yours.”

  Katy turned back to Jeremiah and grinned. “Are you ready to be a dad?”

  He nodded and they walked back into the room hand in hand.

  ***

  An hour later, Katy was holding the head of Jeremiah’s daughter. A few more pushes and Sarah would be holding her daughter. Katy watched as Jeremiah ran his fingers over Sarah’s forehead lovingly and whispered words of encouragement. If she hadn’t known better, she’d have said they looked like a happy couple ready to be parents.

  “Okay, Sarah, I need you to give me a couple half-pushes until I tell you to fully push again.”

  Sarah nodded and Jeremiah kissed her forehead. A contraction came and Sarah followed Katy’s directions. A few minutes later and Charlotte Annette Thomas was born. Katy looked at the baby, unable to hold back her own tears. She laid the precious newborn on Sarah’s chest while her parents doted over her.

  While the nurses cleaned the baby, Jeremiah stood by protectively, not letting his daughter out of his sight. Katy took care of Sarah and told her she’d done a great job. Sarah, in turn, hugged her tightly, expressing her appreciation through her tears. Katy went to stand by Jeremiah, putting her hand on his back as he held his daughter.

  “She’s beautiful,” Katy whispered. Jeremiah didn’t say anything and Katy could see he was fighting back his own tears.

  Katy congratulated them both again and walked into the hallway. She hadn’t delivered a baby since her second year of residency and she had forgotten how amazing it was to see a newborn take her first breath. She couldn’t wait to get home to tell Jesse all about it.

  She was headed to the doctors’ lounge when she heard her name behind her. She turned to see Jeremiah chasing after her. She smiled and waited. When he got to her, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him tightly. In the same movement, he leaned down and covered her mouth with his, kissing her deeply.