Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  “Yeah.” Johnny sighed heavily. “It blows.”

  “When did Joel leave here?” Montana looked between her friends and the band members.

  They all looked baffled.

  “Beats me,” Shannon said.

  Adrian frowned. “He helped check me in at the hospital, but I didn’t see him again. In fact, I had to call Shannon for a ride.”

  “He must have dropped you off, then gone straight back to the mountains to track us,” Johnny said. “The cops found a topography map and a compass in his pocket.”

  “You think he had this planned the entire time?” Stoney asked.

  “Yeah. I do.” Johnny drained his glass. “I also think he let Teal into my house every time she supposedly broke in.”

  “How could Joel possibly think he’d get away with this?” Adrian shook her head in disbelief.

  Johnny stared into his glass, then gulped the contents. “I don’t know. He apparently just snapped.”

  “Why would he destroy your camp?” Stoney glanced between Montana and Johnny. “What could he hope to gain?”

  “I think I know,” Ryan said. “He scattered food around, right?” At Montana’s nod, he continued. “I think he might have been baiting the bear, trying to get it to attack Montana and Johnny. And by tearing up the tents and throwing stuff around, he wanted it to look like the bear did it.”

  “That’s whacked,” Adrian said.

  “I can’t believe he lit the cabin on fire with you in there.” Stoney made a fist. “Trying to burn you alive….Fuck.”

  “Yeah.” Johnny lifted his glass. “Tell me about it.”

  “Why do you think he didn’t shoot while you were crossing the long valley?” Ryan asked. “Surely he had you in his sights the entire time.”

  Montana shrugged. “If I had to guess, probably because he wanted to make our deaths look like an accident. If he shot us in the back, the bullets would have been evidence. Also, hiding us would be impossible. No way to move two heavy bodies.”

  “That son of a bitch,” Shannon said.

  “I never would have guessed Joel to be enough of an outdoorsman to make it alone in the mountains.” Adrian was clearly shocked and confused like the rest of them. “It absolutely amazes me he would take off alone in the wilderness to track Johnny and Montana.”

  “We took outdoor survival in college.” Montana laughed without humor. “I helped him pass the class. Apparently some of it stuck.”

  “Fucker,” Stoney said.

  Adrian eyed Johnny with sympathy. “You okay, Cowboy? This is another tough body blow. You gonna be all right?”

  He lifted his glass in her direction. “I’m fine.”

  “I don’t believe you.” She studied his face. “Joel meant a lot to you and it’s got to hurt like hell—”

  “I said I’m cool.” He let go of Montana’s hand, picked up the half-empty bottle of vodka and stomped toward the front door. “I want to leave in the morning. Be ready by eight.”

  Montana watched him leave, trying not to cry in front of her friends. This wasn’t how she expected to say goodbye.

  “Come on, Stoney. We better pack our shit.” Adrian looked Montana’s way. “Go to him, Montana. He’s hurting bad.”

  Montana’s eyes flooded. “No. We’re over.”

  ~*~

  Johnny downed the vodka while he soaked in a hot bath. He closed his eyes, trying to erase the image of Joel’s body bobbing face down in the river. He didn’t think the horrible vision would ever fade.

  The front door of Montana’s guest cabin opened and closed. His heart sped up. Montana? His hope faded when Adrian called his name.

  Fuck.

  “In the bathroom.”

  She opened the door, came inside and sat on the toilet lid.

  “Jesus, Adrian. I’m naked here.”

  “It’s not like I’m interested in seeing your dick. I’m not like every other chick on the planet dying to get hold of Cowboy’s cock.” She shrugged. “I’m more interested in what you’re going to do about Montana.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He didn’t want to go down this road.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she said. “Montana’s head over heels in love with you. Don’t tell me you can’t see it. You might have missed how Peyton felt about you, but this different.”

  He knew it. All too well.

  Montana wasn’t Teal. Not even close, but his battered heart wasn’t willing to take a chance. What if he leaped and fell flat on his face again? He might be tough on the outside, but his heart and soul felt like they had been through a meat grinder.

  “So? She’ll get over me in a few days.”

  Adrian looked at him like she might punch him. “Asshole.”

  “Yeah, that’s me.”

  “Don’t do this, Cowboy. This might be your one chance for true love. You’re going to blow it.” She took a piece of toilet paper and began folding and unfolding it. “You can’t hold what Keifer and Teal did against Montana. She’s not like them. There’s no way she would treat you like they did.”

  His heart knew Adrian spoke the truth, but his mind refused to listen. “Are you packed? I want to leave now instead of morning.”

  She looked like she wanted to say something more. Instead she stood and walked out without another word. The front door slammed as she exited the cabin.

  Holding his breath, Johnny sank under the water and stayed there until the need for air forced him to surface.

  Adrian’s words bounced around in his brain like a ball inside a racquetball court. Montana loved him. She wouldn’t betray him. She wasn’t Teal.

  Indecision warred within. Should he bare his soul? Admit that Montana’s independence and spirit impressed him like none other? Could he tell her that he loved her?

  Reality washed over him.

  What good would it do?

  His life was in L.A., and hers was here.

  He would take his aching heart home where he could heal in peace. Montana had strong people around her to hold her together.

  Mind made up, he stood and reached for a towel.

  ~*~

  After Johnny placed his luggage in the back of Ryan’s pickup, he reluctantly turned to the house. Telling Montana goodbye for the last time was going to be one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

  His feet dragged as he climbed the steps to her door.

  Montana, Shannon and Ryan sat in the living room in front of the fireplace. What would it be like to live in this cozy home where love practically oozed from the walls? A wave of longing washed over him.

  His heart thudded…stay, stay, stay.

  He faltered when his gaze met Montana’s. In her big gray eyes, he saw her love shining. And then fear. Her chin quivered.

  “Johnny?”

  He took her trembling hand and pulled her to her feet. “Walk with me.”

  Together they went out to her porch. He took her in his arms and held her for several long minutes until she pulled free.

  “This is it, huh?” she whispered.

  “Yeah.” Damn, why did his voice sound so raw and broken?

  She wrapped her hands around the rail, holding tight. “Thank you for everything. I had a good time.”

  “I’ll send you a check for your tents and stuff…”

  Possessions weren’t what he wanted to talk about right now. There was so much he wanted to say, but the words clogged in his throat.

  “You don’t need to do that.” She sounded as stiff and brittle as he felt.

  “I want to. It’s the least I can do.” Still he hesitated. “Montana-girl—”

  She refused to look at him. “Go home, Johnny. We both knew this was just a fling.”

  Leaving him standing on the porch, she walked inside and closed the door softly behind her.

  “Damn it.” He hung his head. He wanted to punch something. Hard.

  In a few minutes, Adrian, Stoney and Ryan came outside, and wi
thout looking at him, they walked to the pickup and climbed inside. Clearly, he was on their shit list.

  With a sigh, he jumped into the truck and closed the door. He stared at Montana’s front door until Ryan pulled out of the driveway.

  ~*~

  Johnny had made the decision to spend the night in Black Mountain instead of pushing on to Grand Junction, where they’d catch his jet home in the morning. He was bone-weary, no lie, but the truth was he hoped Montana might come after him and ask him to change his mind and stay.

  Adrian checked them into a motel, then they crossed the street to The Waterfall. No one spoke, but disapproval rolled off Adrian in waves. Even Stoney seemed disappointed in him.

  The little bar was almost empty for a Friday night. The only customers were a couple of hunters wearing camouflage, who Johnny presumed were locals, and the two girls he’d met the last time they stopped in.

  On a Friday night at The Cave, there’d be standing room only. He’d check in tomorrow night and see what was going on. Maybe find someone who could take his mind off Montana.

  Even as he thought it, he knew what a futile plan that was.

  Forgetting Montana would take forever.

  Spotting him, the girls rushed in his direction.

  “Cowboy!”

  “You’re back!”

  Giggling, they latched onto his arms.

  Forcing a smile, he ushered them toward a booth. “Thirsty, girls?”

  “Very,” the brunette said.

  “Totally,” the blonde agreed.

  For the life of him, Johnny couldn’t remember her name. May? Misty? His mind drifted to another M—Montana. His heart pounded painfully in his chest. He missed her already.

  The blonde snuggled close, her cheap perfume gagging him. Montana’s clean, fresh scent flashed in his memory.

  Getting her out of his head was going to take a hell of a lot of booze.

  Stoney and Adrian sat on one side of the corner booth, Johnny and the girls on the other. The blonde waitress from their previous visit approached without her friendly smile. Was she pissed at him, too? Had word already spread that he’d fucked over Montana?

  “What can I get you?” The waitress popped her gum.

  “Vodka,” Johnny said.

  “Add cranberry juice and a twist of lime to mine,” Adrian said.

  Stoney muttered, “A Coors.”

  The girls ordered a pitcher of margaritas.

  “Will do.” The waitress snapped her gum again and turned away.

  After a few drinks, Johnny felt a hell of a lot better. Mary-Jane had her hand on his upper thigh and Serena had whispered in his ear a couple of naughty things she’d like to do, although her ideas left his dick limp.

  Even Stoney and Adrian were coming around. They studiously avoided talking about Joel, keeping to less painful subjects. When Johnny allowed himself to grieve, it was going to hurt like hell.

  Stoney reached for a bowl of peanuts on the table. “You still want to change some of the tracks on the new CD?”

  “Absolutely.” More than ever, Johnny wanted the song he’d begun writing added onto the album. A few tweaks and he’d be ready to share it with the band and put it to music.

  Music. Booze. Chicks.

  This was his life. Not making plans to ride into the mountains to find missing horses and cleaning up Montana’s camp and the burned-out cabin.

  He knew Ryan and Shannon would help Montana, but he felt like the world’s biggest asshole for leaving without lending her a hand. When he got home, he’d hire someone to rebuild the cabin. It was the least he could do.

  He wished it was as easy to mend a broken heart.

  ~*~

  Montana stumbled into the kitchen and watched through the window until the taillights of the truck dimmed then vanished into the night.

  Shannon placed a hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

  With her back to her friend to hide her tears, Montana nodded. “Sure.”

  “No you’re not.” Gently, Shannon turned her around. “Tell me about it.”

  Realizing Shannon wouldn’t give up until the whole story was out, Montana wiped her cheeks with her sleeves and sat at the kitchen table. “I need coffee.”

  Shannon poured them both a cup and settled on the opposite side of the table, eyeing her shrewdly. “You went and fell in love with Johnny.”

  Seeing no point in denying it—she would need her friends in the coming days—Montana nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Does he love you back?”

  Leave it to Shannon to cut to the chase.

  “No.”

  “Oh, baby.” Shannon reached across the table and took Montana’s hand. She squeezed. “I’m sorry.”

  “You warned me. I didn’t listen, so it serves me right.” Montana lifted her cup and set it down. “Joel said I’m only one on a long list of fools.”

  “I don’t think I’d put a whole lot of stock into anything Joel said. Have you told Johnny how you feel?”

  “No.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  Montana shook her head. “You told me not to show him my feelings.”

  “That was before one of his closest friends tried to kill him. I saw how he held onto you while he was talking about what Joel did. You were like a buoy keeping him from sinking.”

  Sipping coffee without tasting it, Montana considered Shannon’s suggestion. “I don’t see how saying anything would change things. He’s not going to come back no matter what.”

  “Maybe not, but he’d know you love him. And right now he needs someone who cares.” Shannon stirred her coffee. “He’s been betrayed so many times. It must hurt like hell.”

  “I can’t even imagine.” Montana recalled how low she’d been when she found Tom in the shower with those girls. Her friends had pulled her through. Keifer. Teal. Joel. Was there anyone who wouldn’t stab Johnny in the back? How could he trust anyone at this point? Was he looking at even Stoney and Adrian with suspicious eyes now? Maybe Johnny did need her. “I don’t know…”

  “You do,” Shannon urged. “Go tell him what’s in your heart before it’s too late.”

  Montana pushed her cup away. “Should I?”

  “I’ll drive.” Shannon grabbed her coat. “Hurry.”

  ~*~

  Montana’s heart pounded so hard she feared it’d burst out of her chest. She curled her fingers into her palms until she thought they might break. How could she find the courage to tell Johnny how she felt? Ask him to stay, or at least come back?

  She glanced at Shannon’s profile. “What do I say?”

  Shannon slowed for a sharp corner. “Just tell him what’s in your heart.”

  Risking a speeding ticket, she tore through town, skidding into The Waterfall’s parking lot. She threw the truck into park. “I’ll bet money he’s here. Go get him.”

  Montana wet her lips and reached for the door handle. “Wish me luck.”

  “All the luck in the world, baby.” Shannon held out her hand and they twisted their pinkies together. “But you don’t need any.”

  Montana stepped out on legs shaking so hard she wasn’t sure she could walk. Forcing herself forward, she headed toward the door.

  Funny the first place she had seen Johnny was now the place where she would confess her love. At the heavy oak door she paused and drew in a deep breath. “It’s now or never.”

  Inside the dim room, it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Blinking, she scanned the room for Johnny.

  In a flash of déjà vu, she found him in the corner booth, arms slung casually around Mary-Jane Powell and Serena Southward. Mary-Jane whispered something in his ear and he threw his head back and laughed as though he didn’t have a care in the world.

  He must have sensed someone watching because he looked in her direction.

  For a fraction of a second, something passed between them. A flash of the days and nights they’d shared.

  Then, just as fast, it vanished.

&nbs
p; Lifting her chin, Montana spun on her heel and left Johnny to his groupies.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Johnny looked around the studio at his band. “I’ve been working on a song for a while and I’d like to put it on Betrayed and release it as our first single.”

  “Play it, Cowboy,” Stoney urged. “Let’s hear it.”

  Johnny moved to the keyboard and began to sing.

  After the last note faded away, he closed his eyes against the images his lyrics evoked. Big gray eyes, long legs and a spirit like none other. A wave of longing washed over him and he fought to keep his composure.

  “Pretty,” Adrian said. “Sing it again.”

  Without comment, Stoney picked up his guitar and began to strum as the drummer picked up the beat.

  Johnny sang the words he’d worked on for so long.

  Adrian joined in, her voice soaring with his. When they recorded, he knew exactly where he wanted her to add her vocals. With polish it would be amazing.

  After several versions, the final began to form in Johnny’s mind. He stood and stretched. “Thanks, everyone. This song is definitely going on the record and will be our first single.”

  Stoney stared at the ground.

  Adrian picked at her nail polish.

  “What?” Johnny demanded. “It’s a fucking awesome tune so why are you all acting like your grandma just died?”

  Stoney thrust his guitar aside. “Because it’s fucking country music. It’s Heartbeat all over again, except this time the name is Montana, not Teal. The chick you’re in love with.”

  Johnny reeled. He thought he’d hidden his feelings better than that. “Bullshit.”

  “He’s right, Cowboy.” Adrian glanced between them. “Do you want to go backwards? I thought we were going to rock this record. Leave the country sound behind. The fans hated Heartbeat. You want to go down that road again? Run off what few fans we have left?”

  “It’s not country,” Johnny insisted. “It’s a rock ballad.”

  “We could speed it up,” Tabitha, the drummer, suggested.

  “I like it the way I sang it,” Johnny said. “That’s the way it’s staying.” He pushed away from the keyboard and stood. “Let’s take a break. I need a drink.”