Love Me or Leave Me Alone 3

by Nikisha Mock

  I started kissing her neck while I cupped one of her titties with my right hand. She lifted my shirt up over my head exposing my own sports bra. When she saw my tattoo of a panther on my upper chest she smiled then bent her head down to kiss it. She rubbed her hands through my short curls. It felt real good. I liked it when chicks played with my hair. It turned me on.

  We didn’t speak any more after that. I slipped my fingers inside her little shorts. She didn’t have on no panties which was fine with me. Her juices felt so good on my fingers that I had to taste them. I put my fingers in my mouth and licked her off me. She bit her lip and smiled.

  “Stand up,” I told her. She did as she was told.

  “Take these off,” I said.

  She clearly was a fan of Brazilians. So was I. She had her clit pierced. Reign was a little freak! I grabbed her by the ass and pulled her to me. I scooted to the edge of the couch and wasted no time tasting her. She held on to my shoulders for support. I know I had them legs getting weak.

  I told her to put one foot on the couch beside me so I could really get to that kitty. I used my right hand to finger her while I sucked on her clit. I wanted her to come so bad. I wanted to make her scream. She did both. After she finished shaking, I moved her leg so that she was now standing up in front of me. I stood up and grabbed her hand.

  “Where your room at?” I asked her.

  She led the way. Inside her room, she had two candles lit. I could smell the frankincense burning. That was one of my favorites. I was all prepared to make her do whatever I wanted, but Reign wasn’t having it. Instead, she pushed me down on the bed. I smiled a big Kool-Aid smile. She was strong. It impressed me because she was so tiny. Once again, she straddled me. Then started loosening my belt. She pulled my pants off. Soon I was in nothing but my bra and boxers.

  Reign stuck her little fingers through the opening in the front of my boxers. I jumped a little bit as she put two fingers inside me. I wasn’t scared but it’s been a long time since I let a girl finger me. Usually I do all the work. I don’t mind at all because I’m a natural born pleaser. I relaxed and let Reign do what she does. She lay down on top of me and started moving like a snake. When her clit touched mine, I thought I was gonna straight lose it! I ain’t never had it done to me like that. I was really enjoying it. She kissed and bit my neck. I didn’t give a damn. I wasn’t worried about hickies. I didn’t want her to stop.

  I flipped her little ass over until she was flat on her back and went to work. I’d like to think I’m a pro at pleasing a woman. Before you know it, I had Reign cussing, grabbing sheets, and trying to push my shoulders to make me let up on her ass but I wouldn’t. The blunt mixed with the Henny from earlier had me feeling right. Reign was about to find out.

  I liked her titties. They were small and perky as hell. I cupped them in my hands. I licked the nipples real fast. She told me she never had anybody make her feel like that from licking nipples. We kept at it for three hours straight. She never seemed to get tired. I had finally met somebody that could match my sex drive pound for pound. I still had no clue who Reign was but, at the moment, I didn’t care. She was doing things to me that I didn’t even know two women could do. I loved that shit. Reign and I were about to get real tight. She didn’t even know it.

  Chapter 17

  Ciara

  When I left the doctor’s office, I was a total wreck. I had decided to go by myself which was a bad idea. I guess I was holding on to some false hope that the two pregnancy tests that I took were somehow wrong. Nope. I was indeed pregnant. I couldn’t believe I had gotten myself into such a mess. I knew once I told Jay he was going to immediately think that we would suddenly be a family but that was not the case. I still didn’t understand the feelings I had for him and I couldn’t forget about the way he treated me.

  Then there was Darren. He was suspect at the moment but I still liked him and wasn’t ready to count him completely out yet. However, I wasn’t sure how understanding he would be when I told him that I was pregnant and not even sure who the father was. Everything pointed to me needing to have an abortion but I was so scared to do that. I wasn’t against it and I didn’t fault any woman that chose to have one, but I never thought that I would have to make that decision.

  I felt like I was losing my mind. No one would understand how I was feeling so I still hadn’t told my girls and that was something we didn’t do in our circle. I knew they would understand and they would help me think things through, but I wasn’t ready to tell them. Not yet. I took the day off work and lay around the house. Jay called a few times. After the third call, I decided to answer the phone.

  “Damn girl, I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” he said.

  “I wonder what it was about the other two times that you called and I didn’t answer that gave you that impression,” I said in a sarcastic tone.

  “Oh okay. I see you got jokes. Quit playing, Ciara. You know I miss you. Can I come see you?”

  I sat there for a minute. I was feeling pretty sad and alone and even though I know I should have said no, I gave in.

  “Yeah. You can stop by for a minute. But a minute, Jay and don’t get any crazy ideas.”

  “Ah man, give me some credit. I wanna see you, that’s all. I’ll be there in about thirty minutes, cool?”

  “Okay, that’s fine,” I said and ended the call.

  I wasn’t sure what the hell I was doing but a part of me never stopped loving Jay and the times that we did share briefly felt like old times again. I had loved Jay for a very long time. You don’t flip a switch and stop loving somebody. They make imprints on your heart and those imprints linger, long after they’re gone.

  Being with Jay was some of the happiest years of my life. I mean yeah, we had disagreements and arguments like anybody else but for the most part, I was happy when I was with him. It wasn’t until the end that things started to feel strained. Now I knew why. I couldn’t help but have hateful feelings about Asia even though she didn’t do it on her own. Jay chose her. He actually left me for her. Now here I was, possibly pregnant by him and considering letting him back into my life. Love was really playing some awful tricks on me.

  Jay got there in no time. When I opened the door, he took my breath away. He was standing there with a huge bouquet of white roses, my favorite. I looked at him. He was so damn fine to me. He had on a black polo t-shirt and some dark Levis. Jay was never a guy to wear his clothes extra big or sagging. He always looked neat and he always smelled so good. Today was no different.

  When he came in he came up to me and embraced me in the biggest hug and I melted into his arms. I put my face into his neck and inhaled his Prada scent. When he leaned back a little from the hug, he looked at me. The next thing I knew, we were kissing uncontrollably and I didn’t even try to stop it. At that moment, I wasn’t thinking about the baby that I was carrying, not about Asia, or Darren, or anything else. All I wanted right then and there was to make love to Jay.

  He picked me up and carried me to the couch. He sat me down and then lay on top of me, kissing me everywhere he could. I was wearing a tank and some crop sweatpants. He untied my pants and pulled them off. I wasn’t wearing underwear because I never did when I was at home. Jay looked up at me and smiled then he dipped his head low and went to work. Jay had me squirming and moaning in no time and I was coming real hard. I pushed his head down and grinded on his face. He grabbed my ass and pulled me forward every time I started moving and wiggling backwards, away from him.

  “Don’t run from me baby. Let me taste all of you,” he said between licks.

  “Sssss…Oh shit that feels good, Jay. That’s it, lick the clit baby.”

  I was gone, beyond any amount of control or sensibility. Jay, once again, had me wide open and he hadn’t even given me the dick yet. After my second time coming, Jay stood up and dropped his pants. He was so hard I could clearly see the huge lump that had formed in his boxers. I sat up, pulled them down, and stared up at Jay. I asked him
what he was going to do with that and he wasted no time showing me.

  Jay had me get up on the couch on my knees and while I tried to hold on to the back of the couch, he rammed me slow and then fast, over and over in that rhythm and I loved every freaking minute of it. Jay knew my body and he knew exactly what I liked.

  With every stroke, my love for him seemed to be awakened again. I knew it was wrong, I knew I shouldn’t have even gone there with him, and I knew the real issue at hand was the fact that Jay and I were possibly expecting a child together. Yeah, I knew all of that but none of it mattered at that moment. Right then, all I wanted to do was let Jay fuck me until I didn’t have to think about all the inner turmoil I was going through and that’s exactly what he did.

  We switched positions again and this time I was on my back. Jay positioned himself above me and when he entered me, the feeling of skin breaking skin was incredible. I dug my nails into his back and pulled him deeper inside my love. He kissed me everywhere there was skin exposed. I loved it when he bit me softly.

  “Damn Jay. I like that baby. Don’t stop. Please baby, don’t stop.”

  My passionate moans and Jay’s grunts were all that could be heard as we took each other back and forth over the top. Jay was sweating and breathing hard and he kept stroking my hair, kissing my face, and staring at me. We came together and Jay lay on top of me for a second kissing me. I couldn’t remember the last time he had gave it to me like that.

  We didn’t speak immediately afterwards. The peace and quiet was perfect. We had always had a crazy connection and didn’t have to really say much to each other. It felt like nothing had changed. I had to pull myself out of the clouds and address the elephant in the room.

  I nudged Jay and shifted to let him know I wanted to sit up. He sat up and looked at me. I took a deep breath and told myself to spit it out.

  “I’m pregnant, Jay.”

  Blank stare. That’s what I got from Jay. He stared at me for a minute. Then he exhaled like he had been holding his breath and looked at me some more.

  “Wow. Pregnant, Ciara? Are you serious?” he finally said when he found his voice again. That clearly wasn’t the response I was expecting.

  “Yes, I’m very serious. I went to the doctor today. You look like I told you I have terminal cancer or something. Breath honey,” I said, feeling myself getting mad and fighting to not let that anger turn into angry tears.

  “I mean, out of nowhere you blurted out that you’re pregnant. What did you expect me to say?”

  “Gee, I don’t know Jay. Something? Anything? I told you I’m having a baby and you’re acting like someone shot you.”

  “Man listen, this is crazy okay? Pregnant. Damn. So, if you knew that, why you let me hit it?”

  Was he serious?

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I asked feeling some type of way.

  “You’ve been kickin' it with dude and now you’re telling me you’re pregnant. Why would you let me hit it knowing you got that man’s seed in you?”

  My mouth hit the floor. I had imagined that Jay would be overly excited and happy about me being pregnant and here he was letting all the air out of my balloon. He was immediately under the impression that the baby was Darren’s and acted like he never considered that it could be his. I was hurt but I refused to show it.

  “Get out! After all the years you have known me, this is how much you think of me? You think if I really thought it was his baby that I would lay down with you? You must have me mixed up with your hoe ass girlfriend. I don’t get down like that.”

  “Aye, I don’t know how you get down but I know this shit is foul. So what you sayin', Ci? You telling me that baby is mine?”

  I shook my head. It was official. The man that I had once loved with all my heart had officially left the building. That Jay was gone. This knew one was a total asshole and I wanted him to be out of my presence for good.

  “You know what, Jay? I don’t even know why I told you. For a hot second, I thought that the Jay I once knew and loved was back. The way you held me and the way you continued to call me and tell me you loved me. I really believed that. However, if you can sit here right now and talk to me like this then I can see that I was sadly mistaken. Did you forget that you were over here damn near every day for a little over a month? I didn’t say how far along I was. All I said was pregnant. I don’t remember you reaching for a condom when you were over here fucking me every chance you got but yet you’re immediately questioning me. Why I would fuck with you right now. I hate you Jay. I really do and I always said I would never say I hated someone but I truly hate you. You can leave right now,” I said feeling completely defeated.

  Jay looked down at the floor and didn’t say anything at first. I didn’t care how what I said made him feel. I wanted him to leave. I felt my emotions about to open the floodgates and I ran to the bathroom. The next thing I knew I was throwing up and crying hysterically. Jay was right behind me, standing in the doorway looking at me like he didn’t have a clue what to do.

  “Damn, Ciara. You really are pregnant. Aye, you okay?” he said looking all kinds of stupid.

  “Get out! I told you to get out, Jay. Leave me alone,” I cried.

  “Look, I’m sorry, a’ight? But you dropped that shit on me, man. I wasn’t sure how to react. Don’t front like you ain’t been kickin' it with dude so I don’t know why you acting like you’re surprised I asked you about him. Come on bae, you know how I feel about you. I would never disrespect you. But this is some real shit here.”

  Sadly, I knew he was right but he went about it the wrong way. I wanted him out of my space. I couldn’t handle Jay at the moment.

  “Okay, I get it and I don’t have the energy to even talk about it with you right now. Can you please leave? I’ll call you, I promise.”

  “So it’s like that? Okay, cool. But you might as well get over what it is that got you in your feelings and shit because I will be back,” Jay said then he walked over to me and kissed the top of my head and left.

  I cried so hard that it hurt. I sat there on the bathroom floor looking seven layers of stupid. Then I heard my cell phone chirp so I got up to go check it. It was Darren saying that he missed me. If only we had met at some other time or in another life.

  Chapter 18

  Ciara

  The rest of my weekend had been blah. I had managed to avoid Darren and Jay and that was fine by me. Even when Jay came banging on my door talking about he knew I was in there, I still ignored his dumb ass. After the way he tried to show out on me the other night, Jay might as well consider me dead to him. I had been through way too much with him to take any further disrespect. That was the final straw. He talked all that shit to me so why was he so pressed to get me to talk to him now? I will never understand.

  It was hard to ignore Darren because I was really feeling him. I wanted to talk to him. Until I got rid of his maybe-baby, I had to keep him at a distance. I figured if I had told him after the fact, he might not understand. He might actually want me to keep it, which was out of the question. I wasn’t ready to admit that I didn’t know who the father of my baby was. It might be shallow but oh well, I wasn’t going to put myself in a position like this again. I wasn’t looking forward to being judged about the situation. My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Hey girl, you ready?” Ayanna said.

  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” I sighed.

  “Aww, pooh, don’t be like that. You are making the decision that you feel is best for you. That, my friend, can never be wrong. I’ll be there in about ten minutes," she said.

  I dragged myself out of bed then managed to put on my favorite sweatshirt and pants. The instructions said to wear something comfortable so it didn’t get any more comfortable than my well-worn sweats. When Yanna arrived, I was so glad to see my friend. I didn’t really feel like talking. She knew that so we rode to the clinic in silence, letting Jill Scott sing us some smooth medleys along the way.
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  “Your name, please?” the receptionist said to me as I approached her window. Her voice was dry and she did not look happy to be there.

  I told her my name.

  “You’re gonna have to speak honey. I can’t hear you. Look, sign your name on the clipboard then have a seat,” she said, she dismissing me. I was about to open my mouth when Yanna spoke up.

  “Hey! What the hell is your problem? If you’re not happy with your job then you should quit. Let somebody else get it that would be glad to have it. I’m sure they would treat people with respect since you have no idea what that word means,” Yanna said.

  The receptionist sat there looking stupid. Her face turned all shades of red. I couldn’t help but chuckle. I wrote my name down then took the papers that she’d given me to fill out.

  “You always ready to cuss somebody out,” I joked to Ayanna.

  “I didn’t use one cuss word but I bet she got the picture. This shit is stressful enough as it is without her being a bitch. She got the game all messed up,” Yanna said, glancing back over at the receptionist desk to see if the woman was still looking at us. Luckily for her, she wasn’t because I am sure Yanna would have gone off again.

  As I filled out the forms, I realized I was more nervous than I thought. My hand was shaking a little. Yanna touched my arm.

  “Honey, you are going to have to calm down. It’s going to be okay. I will be right here when you come out, okay?” she said to me.

  I shook my head at her and continued trying to work on the forms. When the nurse called my name, we both jumped. I turned to look at Yanna. She smiled at me and squeezed my hand. I half smiled back. I got up to walk over to where the nurse was waiting for me. I took one last look back then followed the nurse to the back. I felt faint.