One True Mate 7_Shifter's Paradox

by Lisa Ladew

Emotion swept through him, emotion he could not handle.

  Nowl

  Nowl didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Was running in his mind. Harlan’s knees buckled. He was going to drop his Evie. He couldn’t do that. He went to the bed, put her in it next to Leilani, gently placing both their heads on the same pillow.

  Trent sat back on his haunches and howled, long and low, then jumped into the bed between Evie and Leilani, stepping delicately so as not to put weight on either of them. He lay down and put his head on Evie’s chest, staring at everyone in the room, appraising them, his message clear, or at least Harlan thought so and oh no, he would not make it through this, would not make it through even the next minute…

  But then two dark little pups ran into the room, jumping past Harlan, one of them curling up on Leilani’s chest, the other on Evie’s. Another animal. Chelsea. Then Smokey, then Angel, they all came into the room, moving with purpose, Smokey climbing on top of Trent, curling up on his side, while Chelsea and Angel lay down on the pillow between the fall of Leilani’s dark hair, and the coils of Evie’s cinnamon curls. Harlan’s heart twisted in his chest, bringing him to his knees. He knelt by the bed and reached for Evie’s fingers, but his hands wouldn’t work. He couldn’t touch her, couldn’t reach her, it was a nightmare but oh no, he was awake and there was Ella, and Rogue, and Cerise, and Dahlia, and they swarmed the bed, all of them, kneeling around it with Harlan, no one saying a word. Ella took Evie’s hand and placed it in Harlan’s but he couldn’t grasp it, couldn’t make his fingers work and his heart was going to stop right there and smash, another chair against the wall. A cry wrenched from Burton’s chest and now he was pitching himself against the wall, trying to smash it down, but the males were there, all of them, shifting, growling, Beckett’s booted wolf, Mac’s white wolf, Trevor’s dark and silver wolf, the dragen, too, the size of a wolf, and shit a bear and they weren’t all going to fit in the room, and the wolves were biting at him and Harlan bent his head to the bed, when would it all be over? Was she dead yet? But the wolves were biting at him, pulling at him, and Burton had already shifted and was being swept out the door by massive wolves gigging him with their hips, biting at him, growling and yipping and howling and Harlan couldn’t help it, he went with it, let Nowl come forward, let Nowl carry him with the wolves, outside they went, out the windows and doors, streaming, running into the forest, his feet moving underneath him until it was the only thing that made sense and they were in the forest, running, running, running, sunlight filtering through the trees and just go, just go, just move, run forever and maybe for just a second Harlan managed to forget, managed to forget what his Evie’s face looked like for just a second, was able to forget that she died was dying had died would die would be gone forever….

  …

  …

  Nowl stopped running. Spoke to him. She’s awake.

  Awake.

  Awake.

  …

  Awake.

  41 - Rhen’s Blessing

  Nowl did not have far to go, the pack had stayed close to the house. Harlan crowded right up close to Nowl’s fore mind, soaking up his every sense. Running, sprinting really, through the forest, into the field, on the grass and there’s the window and yes, there was Evie, her bold features and her springy curls and it couldn’t be real it wasn’t real Evie wasn’t really alive, she’d been dead for almost 30 years and Harlan did not know if he would survive the pulse of joy that threatened to knock him to the ground. Even Nowl faltered, almost tripped over four feet like a pup, and then Evie in the window his Evie with all her hair and her fierceness and she looked exactly the same as she had the day they’d gone to the courthouse and she’d died and he’d never seen her again so fierce it made his heart ache and she swung her arms over her head like she was on a diving board, bending, diving out the window like the grass outside was water and in the air she was shifting, red wolf springing forth so smoothly it was like the dragen’s transformation and Butterfly was there, leaping, flying almost it seemed and Nowl leapt in the air, his teeth flashing, as he grabbed her by the throat out of the air and they went sprawling, twisting over and over and over each other in the grass and it was his Evie and oh Rhen, it was Butterfly and Evie and Harlan was on the ground with his Evie and they curled up, never stopping moving once, unfurling their limbs and their teeth and ears and tails and Butterfly was running, leaping, snapping at the air and Nowl grabbed her again, the scruff of her neck, pulling her down to the ground and they rolled again and behind them, their pack howled and all the wild wolves that don’t exist in the forests of Illinois answered and the only thing missing was the Beast, the Beast didn’t know that Evie really was back and Harlan couldn’t even think about him because they were in the forest and he was running with his Evie and Nowl and Butterfly ran abreast on a path made for only one, and they ran until the forest ended and then they ran through the pasture, Butterfly chasing the horse just for the sheer and absolute joy of being alive, of moving, of existing, and of course with the bliss of running with her mate. They ran until the sun had begun to set in the sky, until they’d covered every inch of the neighboring farmlands that they dared.

  When Nowl swung back toward Trevor’s, Butterfly followed, both of them panting hard, neither ready to stop anytime soon, a large grey wolf with a muzzle more silver than dark these days, with his petite red wolf at his side.

  They checked on Leilani first, from a distance, Nowl and Butterfly not talking, only feeling, then Nowl veered toward the rear of VF. Leilani appeared to be sleeping, the twins playing on her bed, the room full of excited wolven and their mates. Heather paced outside the window with her baby road flare in her arms, yelling for Cerise to tell her what everyone was saying.

  Nowl took them to the very back cabin, the one closest to the forest, and they went right in the wolf door on the side, not expecting much, but finding a fully furnished house, bed, dishes, couches, dishes, everything. Ella’s work.

  Harlan shifted and stood tall in the room as a tall, naked male, who had been given a second chance at a first kiss and he was not going to waste it.

  Butterfly had already started down the hallway to the bedrooms but she shifted and Evie was there, turning as she walked, and she was heading down the hallway backwards, up on her toes, still. Harlan rushed her, unable to wait one more second to touch his mate, his naked beautiful mate, his perfect, sweet, strong Evie who he hadn’t seen or touched in so many years and fuck you Nowl I’m not crying you’re crying and he caught his Evie around the waist and propelled her through the hallway to the back wall and he was so fucking hard and she snarled at him, urging him on and he spun her and pressed her into the wall with his torso as his fingers went straight to her core and she was hot and wet and ready for him and with one thrust he replaced his fingers with his cock and his torso with his teeth and too late he remembered she was a virgin and he stilled although it was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his too-short life but she took over and then the velvet slide was so much more than he could handle and he penetrated the skin of her shoulder at the same slow pace that she kept and she was crying and crying out already and pressing against him hard and he bit down with his teeth and Harlan claimed his mate, his teeth penetrating her renqua as his growl filled both their ears and her pussy clenched at him, an orgasm hitting her already, the bliss of the claiming bending her backwards and making her cry out as he pressed against her, his cock pulsing inside his mate…

  ***

  Eventine cried out against the wall as wave after wave of pleasure spread through her. It had all been worth it, every miserable second in the meadow, 29 stupid years of uncertainty, living through a hell so bad the only choice was to change it, just to have this moment. She pressed against her mate, zipping their flesh together as well as she could, crying out again and again as the pleasure went on and on, waning slightly, only to start hot and fast again as her male spilled hot and deep inside her.

  An image pulsed behind her closed eyes. Her new re
nqua, painted in the sky with white clouds. Her circled phoenix, the top arc of the circle opened and pointing up, the open arcs twisting into Harlan’s thick knot. Her mate mark in the sky for all to see, and someone wanted her to see it. Rhen’s blessing upon their matehood, and Evie did not know how she felt about that but it didn’t matter, because she was with her mate and he was the only thing she could see. She turned away from the vision.

  Evie’s muscles gave out on her, and she slid to the ground, anticipating being naked on the cold floor, relishing the feel of her body, of the air on her skin, the scent of her male, the press of reality against her body. Harlan caught her, swung her up in his arms easily and carried her to the bed, placing her on it gently. She smiled at her mate and pulled him down next to her.

  It was good to be alive.

  And it was good to be claimed.

  ***

  Harlan sank into the bliss of his mate’s body pressed against him, the pulse of her body against his, the taste of her blood on his lips. Finally, nothing was left undone between them, except that one tiny thing. He would fix it now, if he could. Her back was to his front, their arms and legs entangled with each other, their sweat-slick bodies pressed together, slowly cooling and relaxing. Harlan’s blood beat heavy and thick, the sound pounding in his ears, lulling him to accept this hot magic he had no right to. His Evie, awake, alive and home. He couldn’t find words, any words at all, so he kept quiet, burying his face in her soft hair as she moved against him, silkily, smoothly, wantingly and his chest unwound for the first time in 29 years. He was once again comfortable on the planet, in his own skin. He let out a breath, a sigh, so content in the moment he wasn’t sure if she’d come to him in the Ula or he’d gone to her in the Haven. She wriggled, trying to turn and face him. He loosened his arms but didn’t let her go, so she turned within his embrace. Never again would he let her go.

  Evie settled into the crook of his neck, and he gathered her hair, spreading it out like a halo over her shoulder. It felt so good against his face, and against his skin, and yet he still found himself thinking back over his old regrets that she didn’t seem to care about, or hadn’t mentioned yet.

  “You didn’t cheat on me,” Evie said softly, staring into his eyes. Had he spoken out loud? He sat up on the bed and settled Evie on his chest, almost cradled in his arms, glad they were getting it out early.

  “I did,” he said flatly. “Dozens of times.” His voice caught in his throat, not sure how she would react, terrified he’d hurt her.

  Evie reached up and ran a thumb across the wetness at the corner of his eye. When he lowered his gaze to hers, he saw her own eyes were filled with tears. “You stupid, stupid wolf.” She cupped his face gently with her hand. “I was happy to see you steal a few moments of happiness. I didn’t think I was ever coming back so why would you have thought so?”

  Harlan didn’t speak for a few moments, then admitted his darkest secret. “Burton told me you would. Ten years after you died. He got drunk one night and said he couldn’t tell me the details but you’d be back someday, he guaranteed it. That’s one reason why Wade and I made him stop going to work.”

  Evie shook her head. “That changes nothing.” She kissed him on his chest, just over his flat nipple, and didn’t say another word.

  He took a deep breath, feeling that knot inside him, that one just behind his heart, that one he had lived with for so long, loosen the tiniest bit more. But oh boy, did he have more bullshit to deliver. Good thing she was strong. “You still look like you did when I first met you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And I look like this.” He shifted Evie onto his chest and slid his hand up and twined his fingers in her hair, pulling at it, brushing it over his face.

  Evie leaned up on his chest and straddled him, brushing against his cock on purpose as she glowered at him. He began to thicken and lengthen at once and he grinned at her. This. This is what he had missed. The way being with his mate was like the smoothest ride, the longest swoop, the coziest cabin, the very best of life. This was it. The love, this was all he was good for. The everything. His entire life was for good for nothing but to show his Evie how much he loved her. She cupped his face between both her hands and lowered her nose to his, touching him gently, sweetly. “Haven’t we been here before?” she said, her voice holding a teasing note he loved. “I’m still not too young for you.” She softly placed a kiss on one of his cheeks, and then the other. She planted sweet and gentle kisses on the corners of both of his eyes, a warm and loving press of her soft and smooth lips against the crows’ feet there, the only place where any major mark of time could clearly be seen on his face. “If you could see my soul, you’d see my hair there is as gray as yours.”

  Harlan smiled at his mate, still completely overwhelmed with all of it, but finally starting to relax into their new reality, one that should never have been possible, but somehow still was. Evie smiled back and leaned forward, and their lips connected in a kiss he could feel in his soul. Harlan wrapped his fingers tighter in her hair and Evie gripped his head. Harlan poured his heart, his entire being, into the kiss. Every piece of his existence; every bit of the pain; every second he’d wished she wasn’t gone; every lonely and sleepless night; every time his heart had cried out for her in the midnight hours, the times when the darkness crept in and threatened to rip out and consume his very heart and soul, all of it. He gave it all up for good with one spirit-healing kiss.

  “There’s one more thing that’s been eating me up inside for…” His voice cracked and he faltered. This was a secret so deep and dark that he never even admitted it to himself. They’d been young. Their courtship had been quick. And he’d been a fool. “I never told you I loved you.”

  “Har-”

  He held up a finger. “I need to say this.”

  She closed her mouth and nodded at him.

  “I loved you from the moment I first saw you. You were so proud and competent and feminine and fierce and soft and tough. I loved you from that first glance, it hit me in the face like a fucking frying pan and I was too focused on whether we were mates to realize I already loved you, I already belonged to you. I should have told you from that first moment. I never should have held back that word from you, no matter what I was scared of.” There he’d told her and he didn’t want to talk about it so he went in quick and quiet and sneaky, dipping his head and catching one of her nipples in his mouth, pulling her hips in close to him so she could feel what he had hard and ready for her again.

  She moaned into his mouth and shifted her body forward, grinding her slick wetness into him. Harlan flipped them over, positioning Evie on her back, her body cradling his between her thighs. “I love you.” The words fell from Harlan’s lips in a slow and steady stream of sweetness between two lovers. Words not meant for anyone to overhear, whispered with fierce meaning that was only for them. He said it again. Again. Again. She said it back. I love you. I missed you so much. I’ll never be apart from you again, I won’t stand for it. He lowered his head and laved one her nipples in his mouth as he positioned himself and waited for her to come to him. She did. She knew he wouldn’t want any acknowledgement of his stupidity, but would definitely want her to show him that she forgave him. Evie moaned and thrust her hips, maneuvering herself so she could take control, ease him inside her just an inch, she was so swollen from their first joining he could scarcely stand the pleasure of it, the way her body grabbed onto his. Harlan shuddered and moaned, then slowly thrust inside, excruciatingly slow.

  Evie wrapped her arm around his shoulders and drew him in close. Harlan slipped in deeper, so deep. Harlan heard a cry from Evie and opened his eyes, not even realizing that he had closed them. She was crying. He’d never seen his Evie cry before. He startled for a moment, slowing his already slow pace.

  “Are you hurting?” I can st—”

  She stilled his question with a finger to his lips and stared into his eyes. Harlan wiped her tears away with the tips of his fingers. Then he held her hea
d gently between his strong hands and kissed her tenderly, tasting the salt of her tears. With each thrust of his hips, he felt the broken pieces of his life mend back together again. Each clutch of her warm and welcoming body was a balm that healed his very soul.

  Evie trembled around him. Her orgasm was near. He didn’t pick up his pace or change anything in any way. He could do this all night. Would do it all night. Forever. Words of worship and adoration of her body and her mind and her soul tumbled from his lips again and again.

  Evie pulled in on herself as her orgasm took over her body, shutting her eyes, pulling her arms in tight. Harlan thrust deep and hard, two more times, then shuddered almost violently inside her. He roared out his satisfaction as he spent himself within his mate.

  “I’m never letting you go,” he whispered into her neck, tightening his arms around her, trying not to hurt her but afraid he might anyway because he could not stop. Because he would not stop.

  He was no deep thinker or heavy romantic, but even he knew that when you got a second chance at a first love, you did not give it up without a fight.

  42 – Wolves Can’t be Vegan

  Harlan woke up quickly from a dream so wonderful he never wanted to leave it. Burton had found a way to bring Evie-

  Harlan sat straight up in the bed in the strange, still house.

  Evie.

  She wasn’t next to him but a female form had stirred the sheets next to him. She’d been there. He hadn’t been dreaming, wasn’t moonstruck. He was… happy.

  He stood and pulled on clothes he found in a dresser then went to find his mate in the dark of the cabin. She was on the porch in the earliest morning light, standing there in men’s clothes four or five times too big for her, the shirt tied under her breasts, the pants rolled at the waist and the cuffs looking adorable and so very real.