Lookin' For Luv

by Carl Weber

  She nodded silently to give him his answer. He shook his head, turned his back, and raised his arm to hail a cab.

  “Well, I guess there’s nothing more to say then, is there?” Kevin said sadly as he stepped into the waiting cab.

  Once home, Kevin collapsed angrily in his living room and stared at the blank television screen. He could barely focus after the events of the afternoon. All he kept thinking about was how his mother had been right all along about Denise’s true intentions. At that moment he missed his mama terribly. He knew it was time to call her and apologize. Anxiously he picked up the phone and dialed her number. There was regret in his voice when he spoke to her.

  “Mama? It’s me. You know, your long-lost fool?”

  “Kevin. I knew you would call sooner or later, baby.” Mama’s words felt as comforting as a hug.

  “Yeah, I just wish I’d called sooner. I’m so sorry, Mama.”

  “It’s aw’ight baby. We all make mistakes sometimes. You’re a grown man now. It just took me a while to realize it.”

  “I don’t feel like a grown man, Mama. I broke up with Denise this afternoon. She wasn’t the woman I thought she was.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Kevin. You a’ight, baby?”

  “Yeah, I’m okay. I just feel a little foolish, and I want you to know how sorry I am about the way I talked to you.”

  “I know, baby. Let’s just put that behind us, all right?”

  “Sure, Mama. Well, I’m gonna go. I need some time to sort all of this out. But I’ll be sure to call you again tomorrow, so you can tell me all about what’s going on down there. Okay?” Kevin was exhausted from the emotionally charged day.

  “Okay, Kevin. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, baby.”

  “Oh, Mama. I played basketball today”

  “Really, Kevin?” Mama was surprised.

  “Yeah, I was in the park, workin’ out, and some guys asked me to play”

  “Well, son, how’d you do?”

  “I was rusty, but I played pretty good” Kevin laughed.

  “Well, son, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” She was excited for her son.

  “I did, Mama.”

  “I love you, son.” Mama felt she could talk to her son for hours after their reconciliation, but she could hear in his voice how tired he truly was.

  “Bye, Mama. I love you too.” He hung up the phone and released a huge sigh of relief. At least there was one part of his life he could always believe in.

  33

  TYRONE AND SYLYIA AND MAURICE

  Tyrone carefully led Sylvia into the lobby of the Empire State Building. She was blindfolded. He planned their romantic encounter to be a total surprise. Earlier, he had made arrangements with his friend Manny, who worked as a security guard at the building. His friend was waiting for them by the guard’s desk in the lobby and smiled when he saw them approaching. Tyrone put his finger to his lips to warn his friend not to speak.

  “Tyrone, baby, where in the world are we?” The suspense was making Sylvia crazy.

  “Just a while longer, hon, and you’ll know. Wait here for one second.”

  “You mean you’re going to leave me standing here with this blindfold on, all by myself?”

  “Don’t worry, babe. This is gonna take only a sec. I’ll be right back, okay?”

  He walked away before she could protest. She stood impatiently while Tyrone pulled his friend around a comer, where Sylvia wouldn’t hear them speaking.

  “Tyrone. What’s happenin’, papi?” the security guard asked.

  “Nothin’ much, Manny, what’s up with you?” He gave his Puerto Rican friend a hug.

  Manny glanced over at Sylvia standing by the elevator then did a little mock bump and grind.

  “So you wanna get a little penthouse action, huh?”

  “Yeah, I think she’d like that.” Tyrone smiled.

  “What woman wouldn’t? That damn penthouse is what got Maria to marry me.”

  Tyrone reached into his pocket and handed Manny fifty dollars.

  “How long do I have?”

  “Hour and a half, papi. Enjoy.”

  The elevator took nearly five minutes to reach the observation deck of the Empire State Building. Sylvia could tell she was on an elevator, but she had no idea where she was, especially since Tyrone’s gentle kisses had been distracting her through the whole ride.

  “Ohhh! Tyrone, you’re driving me crazy. Now, how about taking this blindfold off me so I can relax and enjoy this?”

  “It’s almost time, Sylvia. I promised you something you’ve never done before, and this is it.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

  “Tyrone, all this mystery is very exciting, but I don’t know how much longer I can stand the suspense. Where are you taking me? I feel like I’m riding in a plane.”

  “Trust me, you’re going to like this.” He kissed her as the elevator doors opened. He held her hand to guide her out and stopped to take in the breathtaking view of New York City that only the Empire State Building could offer.

  “Earth to Tyrone. Are you there, baby?” Sylvia asked as she almost walked into a wall.

  “I’m right here, baby.”

  He straightened her blindfold and slowly guided her to the railing in front of the observation deck window. Placing his hands over both of hers, he guided her hands to the railing.

  “Hold on to this,” he whispered. “I’ll be right back.”

  She did as he asked, waiting patiently while he took the candles, wine, and long-stemmed roses out of the duffel bag he had been carrying. He laid out a blanket on the floor, lit the candles, and set up the wineglasses. Returning to the railing, he removed Sylvia’s blindfold and turned her around to admire the sparkling lights of Manhattan. She was breathless, and when she finally spoke, he was standing before her with the roses in his arms. Overwhelmed with emotion, she took the flowers and placed them near her face, inhaling their romantic fragrance. She placed them beside her on the floor and embraced Tyrone passionately. Neither spoke for quite some time.

  When they finally separated, Tyrone took her hand and led her to the blanket. She smiled as he popped the cork and poured a glass of wine for each of them. Handing her a glass, he raised his in a toasting gesture.

  “Here’s to us, Sylvia. I might not be able to buy you all the fancy things you’re accustomed to, but I can give you my heart.”

  “Tyrone, you’ve given me more than money could ever buy. You’ve given me back the self-esteem I lost so long ago. I could never repay you for what you have brought to my life.” Her eyes glistened with tears.

  Setting his wineglass down, Tyrone reached for Sylvia and pulled her closer. There was one more part to his design for the evening, so he sat up and faced Sylvia, looking into her eyes. He unhooked a gold chain from around his neck and held it in front of her.

  “What’s this?” She touched the chain to feel the key that was dangling from it.

  “Sylvia, I know you’re married, but this is my way of saying that it’s all about you. I’m not big with words, so I’m just gonna give it to you straight. I love you. This is the key to my place. You can come and go as you please. As far as I’m concerned, your name’s on the lease. I love you, baby. I hope you love me too.” He embraced her tightly.

  “Oh, Tyrone, I do love you. God knows I do.” She kissed him passionately, inviting him to make love to her.

  Maurice pulled his Mercedes out of the parking lot of Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. Annoyed at the young woman next to him, he purposely drove around the sharp winding roads leading to the highway at a high rate of speed, hoping to scare her. Sharon, a petite nineteen-year-old, gripped the seat tightly as he drove down the dark, narrow road.

  “You’re not mad at me, are you, Maurice?” She closed her eyes as he barely kept the car under control going around a curve.

  “Mad? Why would I be mad?”

  “Because I didn’t want to have sex with you on the first date.”

&n
bsp; “No, I can understand that,” he lied. “Although I will admit I was a little upset when you wouldn’t go down on me. I mean, that’s not really sex.”

  “Well, it’s sex to me. But you never know, maybe next time.” She patted his leg to give him encouragement.

  Trust me, there won’t be a next time, he thought as a deer entered the roadway.

  “Oh, my God, Maurice, look out!” She closed her eyes.

  He maneuvered the expensive sports car like a professional race car driver, avoiding the deer by ten feet easily.

  Make me waste my money and time, will you? he thought, snickering to himself as she opened her eyes.

  “What was that?”

  “Looked like a bear.”

  “A bear! Look, Maurice, you need to find a highway and get me back to New York. I don’t wanna be out here in the woods with no bears and shit.”

  “Relax. I have my gun in the trunk.”

  “What good is it gonna do you in the trunk? Pull this car over and get the damn gun.”

  Maurice pulled the car over to the side of the road, then pulled the trunk-release switch.

  “If you want the gun so badly, go get it. It’s in my toolbox. You can’t miss it.”

  “I’m not going out there!” she said with attitude.

  “That’s fine with me, but I’m not driving until somebody closes my trunk, and it was your idea to get the gun.” He pulled the lever to recline his chair, then looked over at her and smiled devilishly before closing his eyes.

  Sharon couldn’t believe his arrogance. He was so nice during their entire date. That is, until she made it clear that they were not going to have sex.

  “You know, Maurice, you’re a real asshole.” She opened her door and walked around to the trunk, finding the toolbox. “This damn thing is locked!” she yelled.

  Maurice rolled down his window. “Just shut the trunk and bring it up here. I have the key in my glove compartment.”

  Grinning, Maurice brought his seat to an upright position as he watched Sharon in his rearview mirror. When she closed the trunk, he laughed hard, beeping the horn as he put his foot on the accelerator.

  Sharon dropped the toolbox in disbelief and ran after the car. “You son of a bitch, Maurice! Stop playing fucking games!”

  He stopped the car about a hundred feet away from her. Sharon breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the car stop.

  “This fucking guy is crazy,” she grumbled, turning around to pick up the toolbox.

  Maurice was laughing so hard, he was in tears. He stepped out of his car and screamed.

  “Hurry up, Sharon! I think I hear something in the woods!”

  Terrified, she fell and broke the heel of her shoe trying to get to the car. Getting up quickly, she never looked back as she ran, still lugging the heavy toolbox.

  Maurice, still laughing, bent over and picked up a rock. He threw it into the woods so that it ruffled the leaves.

  “Oh, my God, Sharon! Did you hear that? It’s a bear! Run, sweetheart! Run!” He got back in the car.

  “Ohhh, shit!” she screamed, falling down again, facefirst in the dirt. Struggling back up, Sharon left the toolbox this time as she limped closer to the car.

  Maurice buckled his seat belt and stuck his head out the window.

  “Hey, Sharon, next time a guy takes you out and shows you a good time, you might want to make sure he gets laid!” He sped away, kicking up dirt and gravel in her face.

  As he drove onto the highway, Maurice slammed his hand against the dashboard.

  Damn, that was a fucking waste of time. And I lost a brand new toolbox!

  He thought about his wife, hoping she would be awake when he got home. Not that it mattered. He would wake her. It was time she started to perform her some of her wifely duties. Since his VD scare, he had not had intercourse, and oral sex just wasn’t doing it anymore. He sped home to find some satisfaction.

  Sylvia pulled into her Jamaica Estates home, exhausted. The excitement and passion from her night with Tyrone at the top of Manhattan had sapped all her energy. And then he had insisted on a quickie at his apartment before they said their good-byes.

  She passed Maurice’s car in the driveway. “Shit,” she mumbled, “I thought he was going to be home late tonight.” She pulled her car into the garage.

  Things had become very tense in the Johnson household in the past few months. Maurice had recently become upset every time Sylvia refused his sexual advances. The tables had turned, and Maurice was practically begging in the last few days. Sylvia, on the other hand, was finding him more and more repulsive every day. With Tyrone she was experiencing the warmth and security of unconditional love for the first time in her life. Her husband had become nothing more than an inconvenience. She had no interest in being in the same room with him, let alone being intimate.

  Entering the house through the garage door, she walked past Maurice’s study and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the light coming from under the door. She tiptoed up the stairs to her bedroom and quickly removed her clothes in the dark. Fingering the key to Tyrone’s apartment around her neck, she fantasized about running away with him to some island paradise where she could watch him paint and walk to the market with a straw basket.

  Oh, God, Bernard was right, she thought as she unhooked her bra. I’m going to have to divorce Maurice.

  “Where have you been?” Maurice said deeply, scaring her as he turned on the light. He had been sitting in the chair next to the bed for over an hour, waiting for her to come home. In the meantime he had drunk half a bottle of brandy.

  “I said, where the hell have you been?” He slammed his hand on the night table.

  “I had a club meeting,” she answered nonchalantly.

  “Oh, you did,” he slurred smugly. “Well, how come Vivian and Jen didn’t know about this club meeting? Matter of fact, Jen said you were over her house until five minutes before I called there.”

  “Well, ah, I was at her house. But then I had to go to, ahh ... to a club committee meeting. You know, I didn’t remember I was supposed to be there until I was halfway home.”

  She tried to laugh to diffuse his mood. He gave her a look that let her know he didn’t believe a word she had told him.

  “Why are you asking me all these questions about my whereabouts anyway? You’re starting to make me think you don’t trust me, Maurice. That’s not good in a marriage. Maybe I should keep a closer watch of your whereabouts, as much as you disappear for days at a time.” She hoped he would leave her alone if she put some of the blame on him.

  “Hey, look, Sylvia, don’t get all bent out of shape. I was just worried about you. That’s all.” Maurice’s attempts at sounding sweet were so unnatural. “Doesn’t a husband have the right to be worried about his wife?”

  He stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. His hands wandered down her back, and he was surprised but pleased to discover she was wearing a G-string, so her buttocks were exposed. He began to gently massage her.

  “Have you been working out?” He smiled, breathing down her neck.

  “Yes,” she answered, thinking, for the past six months, motherfucker. Thanks for finally noticing.

  “You know, Sylvia. I’ve been waiting the past hour to make love to you.” He kissed her neck romantically. “How about it?”

  Sylvia contemplated agreeing just so he would leave her alone for a few days but decided against it when she realized how tired she was from her earlier escapades with Tyrone.

  “That would be nice, Maurice, but I’m really tired. How about a rain check?” She faked a yawn.

  “Rain check? I don’t want a rain check. I want some sex!” He became agitated and grabbed her shoulders tightly. “What the fuck do I have to do to get laid around here anyway?”

  Sylvia stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.

  “I’m getting sick of your bullshit excuses, Sylvia. You’re gonna gimme some and you’re gonna gimme some tonight!”


  “Maurice, I’m tired and I’m going to go to sleep,” she responded flatly, and pushed him away, walking into the bathroom.

  “Come back here, Sylvia, I’m talking to you! Come back here!”

  He followed her to the bathroom, but she shut the door in his face. Ready to explode, he reached for the doorknob but heard the lock click.

  “Open this door, Sylvia. Open this door now!” His face was burning red as he banged on the bathroom door. “Goddammit, I’m your husband. You can’t deny me sex. It’s your fucking duty!”

  He was furious now as he stomped around the room, knocking over pictures and lamps. Sylvia cowered in the bathroom, wishing she had an escape. She had no idea what he was capable of in this state.

  “If you don’t open that fucking door right now, I swear to God I’m gonna break it down!”

  He waited ten seconds, then ran toward the door, slamming his foot into it so hard that Sylvia heard the wood splitting. The frame had cracked, and he was able to open the door with one more shove. He marched over to Sylvia, who was standing across the room.

  “What the fuck is your problem?” She tried to act as though she weren’t as terrified as she really was. “That’s a six-hundred-dollar door!”

  “I’ll tell you what my problem is,” he shouted, grabbing her by the neck and lifting her off the ground. “My wife ain’t giving me no pussy! What’s it been now, Sylvia, four months since you let me get some? Well, tonight’s the night, baby, whether you like it or not!”

  She begged him to let her go as he dragged her by the neck into the bedroom.

  Please, God, don’t let him kill me, she prayed as she struggled to get air into her lungs. Maurice threw her on the bed, smiling as she gasped for air.

  “Think you want to give me some now?” He frantically unbuckled his pants and dropped them around his ankles.

  “Maurice, why are you doing this? Don’t you understand this is rape?” she cried as she tried to crawl to the other side of the bed.

  “You can’t rape your wife,” he said, stepping out of his pants. “Now shut the fuck up!”