Mall Land

by Jonathan Hurley

  “Jerry!!!” Screamed Max.

  “He’s gone!” Michael offered only the hard reality and no comfort. “Do you have the keys?” Michael hastily asked.

  “In my pocket.” Michael pulled the keys out of Max’s pocket and was starting to devise a plan of escaping together in his mind. They continued to the back of the store. He needed to keep Max conscious. The blood was everywhere. He needed to take him home; he needed to keep him alive.

  “Max, tell me again how to get there.”

  “Exit 53 of highway 801. Second left is a shut down dirt road that goes up the cliff, it’ll take us right there,” said Max. Michael felt confident that they were momentarily away from the gunman as he heard sporadic shots and screaming from other areas of the store. “What’s the name of the town?”

  “Hope Falls,” said Max. “We have to come back for Je… ” Mid sentence, a bullet hit Max in the chest and dropped them both to the ground. The two brothers were killed. They would never get back home.

  Michael didn’t look back, he just ran. He ran through the doors to the back of the store and ran out the back door into the employee parking lot. The car was easy to spot; it was a mirror image of the car he started his journey with. He drove away from the store. He never saw the man in black come outside. The parking lot was empty. Michael assumed that everyone must have fled already. He thought he heard sirens in the distance but he couldn’t be sure. He thought Max was certainly dead but he couldn’t be sure of that either. He tried to keep his mind focused on what was really happening, but he couldn’t be sure. He could only keep going and never look back. Of that he was sure.

  Exit 53 off of highway 801. It’s the second left up a dirt road that seems to go nowhere. The road twists and turns. It’s steep and there’s no indication that it leads anywhere. The developers, the people who plan one Mall community after another never went to the end of the road. They never found the reclusive community because no one left. No one came from the other end of that road until Max and Jerry. No one ever left a comfortable house with air conditioning and easy access to today’s best buys to travel up some road to nowhere… until me. They days have blurred since the supermarket. I couldn’t have saved them. I can only save myself. I’ve been driving for so goddamn long. Exhaustion is only a word. Everything just looks the same. It’s all just the goddamn same… but I’m on 801. They can’t track me anymore, I’ve seen to that. I’ve cut off every tie to their treacherous world. I’ve made every sacrifice to be free. Not the meaningless freedom that they have to purchase, to take their business elsewhere. Not the illusion that people have the freedom of choice. I have the freedom that men were intended to have. I’ve heard them spout off about freedom and independence my whole life. I know the truth. I know they only mean solidarity and conformism. They were going to tell me anything to keep me going to work and pushing that mop. But they didn’t know better. They were just saying what someone else told to them. That’s what happens when the mind and the spirit have been dulled. All you can do is repeat what you heard on TV. Some people know better. Darline knows better. Her uncle knew better. I know better. I’m on highway 801 and it’s just a matter of time. No maybes’ about it. I can’t answer that psychopaths’ every question. I can’t answer Darline’s questions. I can’t even answer my own damn questions. I can’t answer to Sarah anymore. I can’t answer for my Mother. I might not be worth a lot to most people, but I’m on highway 801. I’ll stay home forever when I get there. There’s no question about that. Exit 53 is a matter of time. Time is all I have.

  Chapter 10

  Michael left the scene of horror behind him and was back on the road. His cell phone was in the passenger seat next to him. The car he was in was identical to the one he left behind when he fist started his trip of exile. He was hungry, tired and was on a highway where every exit led to the Mall and the lifestyle that went along with it. Nothing much had really changed. His cell phone had been ringing since shortly after the incident at the supermarket. He certainly knew who was on the other end. He started to wonder why he continued to charge this device that seemed only to bring him misery. At first he brought it for security. He thought it would be dangerous to travel without some means of communication but hat seemed foolish to him now.

  He knew intuitively that he really brought it along out of habit. He knew that it offered him no real safety but the feeling of safety. He still could not let go. He still needed that even after all that he had been through. He was back to his tired blur and routine in the car.

  “I must have stopped and washed my clothes,” he said to no one while driving. He appeared to be in the exact same state as when he first started out on his journey. He knew that this was strange but decided not to focus on it.

  The road he was on was destroying his mind, but he kept going. He felt he had to distance himself. The bright lights of the stores lit up the night and hid the imposing steep cliffs. “Hope Falls” sounded like any other housing development community. It wasn’t so different sounding from his own community in North Atrophy. It wasn’t the name that mattered, it was the location. For Michael Christianson it was specifically the destination and not the journey. Through it all, his phone kept ringing without him answering.

  He knew that he had to pick it up eventually or throw it out the window once and for all. Shortly after taking the exit for Highway 801, he did what he somehow knew he needed to. He had to confront the man who was always with him, ruining his life.

  “What the fuck do you want to say to me?” Michael said calmly when he picked up the phone.

  “I want to congratulate you. You finally killed your friends to get what you want. You should be proud of your development. You’re very close. I’m still going to kill you no matter what. I’m still going to kill you either way. I’m going to cut you down and expose you to the world. When I get to you, you are going to beg to be let back into the life you took for granted,” said the man in black. “That’s what I want to say to you. What do you want to say to me?”

  “Why would I respect or listen to a mindless drone like you. All you do is ruin the world. You end lives and you don’t care as long as someone tells you to do it. Why would I respect you or anything you have to say? You aren’t any better than a trained dog.” “You should just stop now. You’re going to stop eventually. You will assimilate to it all soon enough. Why don’t you just pull over and wait for me to get you. All that you are doing by continuing to run is causing problems to other people’s lives. Stop hurting others and come to me. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to accept it.”

  “I know that you’re tracking me through the phone. I’m finally ready to be rid of it. I’m done with you.”

  “You’re lying to yourself son,” said the man in black in a fatherly tone. “You never were.”

  Michael threw the phone out the window. He drove in silence for a while. He had suspected that they tracked him through his phone. He knew it was a risk that he lived with and others ended up paying the price. Usually he felt that he lived with others and he himself paid a price. He thought about how he didn’t really think about Sarah anymore. Their time together didn’t seem significant any more.

  He thought about how his childhood was more a construction of his environment than anything else. His childhood was similar to anyone’s. There was nothing particularly special about his with the exception of his tragic family events.

  All this time to think and nothing especially was occupying his mind. In an instant when he threw the phone out the window, he stopped obsessing about the man chasing him. Michael was convinced he was still out there but it just didn’t seem to matter anymore. He felt liberated from the world he knew. He was alone and fearful since the beginning of his self appointed exile until now. A familiar numbness began to settle in as he continued down the road.

  He would not talk to Darline any more. He would not talk to his brother anymore or his mother. In his mind, there was nothing more to say to them anyh
ow. He thought about his father. He couldn’t remember ever really thinking about his father. It was as if the top was opened to something buried long ago. When the thought came to the surface Michael pushed it away. The numbness settled in deeper.

  He was too tired to deal with it “Best to stay focused and not get distracted,” he said to no one in particular. He was weary and once again dawn was breaking up the nighttime’s peaceful driving. The road was once again being filled with commuters on the way to work or shopping. It was once again their prime driving time and not Michael’s. It was time again to find a spot to sleep and eat for a while. Running away had become in and of itself a routine. Michael had brought with him on his journey all the trappings of his life. He didn’t feel liberated at all when he exited off the highway to a Mall parking lot. He didn’t register the name of the town. It stopped mattering a long time ago. He was only looking forward to the end.

  “Good morning shoppers. Don’t forget to take advantage of our early bird savings at Crazy Eddies Feet For All. Ten percent off all neon and sequin shoe laces while supplies last. Don’t let a days shopping out strain on your feet. It’s half off all cushioned lemon scented shoe insoles until mid day. Don’t let your feet fail you now, hurry while supplies last.”

  Michael listened to the voice cutting through the muzak. He sat at the food court among the throngs of elderly shoppers eager for the early morning deals. No one but him seemed to even notice the voice prodding them along. He had run the gamete of emotions already regarding the people being willingly commanded. He had been sad and angry. He had been filled with righteous indignation. All he wanted now was to bury it all down deep like a memory to be moved on from. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t go to Mall to eat. He now felt that it didn’t much matter where he went. They were either going to get him or they weren’t. He was either going to get there or he wasn’t.

  “I know who I am. I know where I’m going.” He was outside a white building adjacent to a cemetery. No cars came down this road. It was cold and he was wearing a long coat fit for autumn. It was nighttime and no one was around. He knew that he had been here before but had to reassure himself as to why he was here at all. He sensed that there had just been a fog but it was gone now. “I’m looking for someone. Then I can leave. I know where I’m going, I know where I’m going.” He thought about going back through the building that led him to the street but he knew the man wasn’t in there. He knew that he didn’t want to go back in the graveyard. The street went on seemingly forever in either direction. It was the perimeter of the cemetery, which also seemed infinite. There were trees periodically and streetlights that dotted the high stonewall of the cemetery. The lush green slanted tiers looked like a pyramid growing from the earth. The moonlight illuminated everything despite the night. He looked down at his full-length black coat, pants and shoes. “I’ve been here before. I know who I am. I know where I’m going.” He walked down the road. It didn’t mater which direction. He knew that he had to find someone but didn’t know where to look. “It’s the caretaker… someone is taking care of this. Someone has to be in control. It’s not me. I know where I’m going.” He passed entrance after entrance to the cemetery. He was getting further and further from the white building. After a while he went through one of the gates. It didn’t matter which one. He knew it didn’t matter. They all went to the same place. He stopped, looming over a gravestone. It didn’t matter which one. He knew it didn’t matter. He stayed there and waited for the fog to cover up everything. He knew that it would. “I don’t know where I am.” He let it overtake him.

  Michael awoke in his car tucked away in the parking structure of the Mall. There was nothing especially significant about the place where he parked. There was nothing especially significant about the car. There seemed to be nothing especially significant about the day. The reoccurring and episodic dream offered him no refreshment the next day. Insomnia had been ruling his life and calling the shots for longer than he cared to remember. He wanted to wake up once and for all.

  He had some more food inside before leaving. He was out of cash and used his credit card. He did not care about the consequences as he certainly had no intention of paying the bill and he did not care about the law catching up with him. He was done caring. He drove on the streets a bit before getting back on the highway. They were a mirror image of North Atrophy even they were a world away. At the light to turn on the highway, he caught the eye of the woman in the car next to him. She was overweight and plain looking. She looked like most people. She looked like Sarah. She smiled a flirtatious smile at him. Michael stared with no expression at the woman for an awkward amount of time. Her smile dissipated, the light turned green. “There’s no going back in life,” he said unconvincingly to no one in particular.

  Exit 51. I thought I would feel a greater sense of elation being this close but I don’t. I thought I would be filled thoughts of the kids that I might have growing up in a world tucked away but I’m not. I’m breathing and I’m driving down this highway. The man in black is still right behind me. I can sense it but I’m not going to look at it. I’m not going to look at him. In those movies that Sarah and I used to watch, the hero would get the girl at the end. He would usually foil the bad guy or somehow save the day. In the end, he would have his girl and his friends with the world ahead of him. All I have is the world behind me. It’s not much but it’s enough. Exit 52. I’m coasting on fumes but I don’t care. I think that I have enough to get there. I usually have a good gauge of what it takes. I always wanted to go on an adventure like in those movies my father, brother and I used to watch when we were kids. My father worked a dead end job until his early death but when he watched those movies… he was taken to another world. We all were. I remember wanting to be that look in my fathers eyes.

  What no one told me was how I wouldn’t feel that different when the trip was done. I kind of had a suspicion though. Deep down, I suspected that it would be like this. There’s no great elation, not really. It still feels like I’m numbly watching someone else live life from the safety of the couch.

  I used to talk about how I would have done things if I were in their position. I always seem to know what’s best. I have a good gauge for such things. Maybe no one will be in the town after all. Maybe all the people will have moved away. Then where would I be? My teachers in school used to tell me that I needed to have a goal in life if I wanted to get anywhere. What do you do if the goal no longer exists? Maybe, I’m going to lead the man in black right to them. Maybe I’m going to be the end of their world instead of them being the end of mine. Maybe, maybe… exit 53.

  Chapter 11

  Michael pulled off of the highway and did as he was instructed. Sure enough, the second possible left was a dirt road that seemed to wind into obscurity. The sun was up already as he had driven through the night. He wasn’t going to rest by any means and he hoped that his car could make the steep and narrow grade. He pushed that car which seemed to want anything but to go up the incline. Michael’s back was stiff with tension. His focus was complete.

  With every minute that passed, he was further and further up that hill into obscurity. The orange hued rocky land towered over the car on both sides. No one would see a car driving along this road. He never could have made it in the dark. For a time, the car was bumping and shaking along with the road’s rocky terrain and big holes. Eventually the harshness of the ride began to smooth out, as the road seemed to be leveling off. The muscles in Michael’s back started to ease as the road became flat a drivable. His mind began to ease, as the imposing land on the sides on the car no longer hid the views of the world below. He was at a high vantage point and could see one planned Mall community after another laid out before him in the world below. He kept driving along the road feeling that he had transcended the world below and the life attached to it… then the road turned to pavement.

  He tried not to panic as the familiar footprints of humanity started to appear. First it was a ga
s station, then a used car dealership. At first they were spread out but soon after he passed the trucking distribution center and the town power supply, it was clear that the central roads of the town were not far away. Sure enough, he came across an office park with the same dull familiar look of any office park. Next to it was the sign that said it all: Welcome to Hope Falls where dreams become real. “All I have to do is find Max and Jerry’s father,” he thought. “He’ll tell me where the real town is and the real towns people are. He’ll tell me how to get to them.”

  The road he was on came to an intersection and it was all there for Michael to behold. One housing community after another sprawled out in every direction. There was heavy traffic as commuters were making their way through the grid system to all of the shops and stores that were in North Atrophy. When Michael got to the town’s Fuddy’s he stopped.

  Inside he asked for directions to the town cemetery. The smell of the food made him sick to his stomach and he was overcome with nausea. Michael vomited inside before he could leave. Some of the patrons seemed disgusted, some seemed as if it were not that unusual. The manager just sighed and called for someone in the back to come and clean it up. On his way back to the car, Michael saw a man pouring sawdust over the puddle.

  He followed the directions across town and came across a walled in lush green cemetery that seemed to spring up from the ground like a pyramid. He knew it of course. He felt like he had always known it. He went to the large white marble building on the property to see the caretaker but it was vacant. Nothing was inside but an empty office, plastic flowers and mediocre paintings of flowers. The kind that are seen in bad motels across the land. Michael went through the building to the cemetery grounds outside. The gravestones were all lined up in orderly rows.

  “They bury us just like we live,” he said to no one in particular. Up a few rows from where he was, he could see an elderly black man hunched over doing some work. This couldn’t be Max and Jerry’s father as they were white. Michael assumed it was a worker who could tell him where the caretaker was.