Mall Land
Page 12
“Excuse me sir. Where is the caretaker here?”
“Caretaker? Well you’re looking at him. That’s kind of an outdated term though. These days, we are called afterlife assistants.”
“Well, this can’t be right, I’m looking for the father of Max and Jerry. It must be at some other cemetery.”
“Max and Jerry? Do you mean like the movie starring Braden Pinn?”
Michael looked around and felt the world closing in on him. It had to be here, it was from his dreams. “This is where dreams become real,” said Michael to no one in particular.
“Son, what’s your name?” “Michael Christianson.”
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re looking to find?"
“I was looking for the caretaker here. I was told that Hope Falls was… not part of Mall Land. I thought it was different… where people lived simply, like it should be.” Michael was on the verge of tears. He couldn’t take another conversation of small talk with a stranger. He couldn’t take any more casual conversation from casual people. He was rocked to the core and his dream was being ripped apart in the place where dreams come true.
“Son, what are you running from?”
“There’s a man chasing me. He’s a hunter Killer and he’s been after me for… longer than I can even remember.”
“A hunter killer?” Asked the old black man.
“Do you mean from the war days?”
“Yes.”
“And so you thought you would find some kind of solace from this man here in Hope Falls, am I right?”
“I met two young people who left this town when it was a farming community. It was purposefully tucked away. People live how they are supposed to… ”
“Yeah, you said that before,” said the man cutting him off. Maybe one day a long time ago people lived like that, I don’t know.”
“Well maybe there is still a place where those people are. Maybe they’ve just been pushed off further into the cliffs.” Michael could barely get the words out through the tears.
“Son, I’ve been here a long time.” The man was talking in a comforting fatherly tone. “I think I know what you’re looking for… it’s not some place you go to. It’s just not… I don’t think anyone is chasing you.”
“Look at these dead people all in rows. You line them up one after another just like chickens in factory faming. All these people just working and shopping… eating and shitting. They do everything just like they are told. They’re like trained animals. Even in death, they’re just obediently lined up! They’ve served their purpose.” Michael said in an accusing tone.
“Well that might be so son, but that doesn’t really seem like the reason you came here… not if you really want to look at it. Look… point is, you’re going to have to deal with the world even if you don’t like it. Every day I see a grieving widow or a motherless daughter. When I see young boys and their father is gone, I feel real pain. I don’t see any dumbed down trained animals… I see hurting people. I see the real world every day… day in and day out, sunrise and sunset. You were just looking in the wrong place son, that’s all. Don’t be self righteous”
Michael began to wonder if any of it was real. Maybe there wasn’t anyone after him. Maybe he had always been here. Maybe Sarah was fine somewhere, happy with her lust for fashionable sunglasses and a good bargain. Maybe she was just a dream that he had once. Michael was mentally destroyed by it all and barely choked out a sentence through his crying; “Maybe I…belong here…”
The old man looked at him with profound sympathy and said, “One day I hope you can comes to terms with all this… son. No maybes’ about it.”
Michael left the cemetery and went out to the street. He didn’t want to drive in his car anymore, so he just started walking. He picked his direction arbitrarily. They all led to the same place. When he got the Mall, he went straight for the maintenance department. He had a new job. It was his old job. His boss made it so that he was able to get an apartment because he had some type of employment. The apartment was the same as what he had always known.
“Yeah, we have a high turnover rate here. You’ll be starting at the entry-level position. With time you can work your way up. Soon enough you wont remember not being here. Who knows what can happen.” Said his boss.
“Who knows,” said Michael in response.
“The biggest reason people never get anywhere in this world is that they’re self righteous smart -asses and trouble makers. People who think they’re better than everyone else. They all make it back here eventually. You aren’t going to give me a problem are you?”
“No sir, I’m happy to have the job,” replied Michael.
“Good boy.”
Michael had the same choice that he always had. He could leave his restlessness buried or continue to be in the world in a constant state of anxiety. Continuing on with life meant accepting the world that he inhabited as it was. Sometimes as the hours droned on, he wondered if some confused person would ever come to him the way that he had come to Darline. He wondered what he would tell that person. In all of the movies that he grew up watching, the main character has a life changing epiphany at the end. He wondered what his epiphany was. He wondered if there really was anything more than the world presented to him or if the yearning for something else was just what he made up from watching the movies. He thought about how in the end, he would end up just like his father.
He finished his workdays at the Hope Falls Mall and went back to his apartment to watch television and see about what was on sale tomorrow. He never bothered to decorate the square rooms or white stucco walls. There was one painting of a vase of flowers in the bedroom. It came with the apartment. He had no savings and couldn’t afford his current lifestyle. The Debt was once again a looming factor in his life. Time went on as it always does and he began to save up a small amount. He didn’t need any fashionable dog bowls or custom picture frames after all. He put a deposit down on a plot at the Hope Falls cemetery. He even picked out his own tombstone. At first, his epitaph read: Michael Christianson “A man who traveled far and never went anywhere.”
He later changed it to be more of a message to people who might pass by, it read: Michael Christianson “We live in a world of compromised people because we live in a world of compromised thoughts.”
He wasn’t sure what it meant but he felt happy for the first time in a long time when he saw it etched on the stone. He also began to save for future travel plans. Maybe he would take a trip to the other side of the world as he eased into middle age stuck in the world someone else created. Maybe that was a bad way to look at it. Maybe. The working hours went by quicker the less he focused on it. He tried to think as little as possible. There was always a sale. There was always a holiday coming. He was in his uniform, mop in hand through it all.
“Attention shoppers don’t forget to get your family photo’s this week. Cherish the ones you love and remember the good times. Book your appointment today at the Southwest entrance.”
A crowd of people hustling to the next bargain always surrounded him. No one paid him much attention and it was better that way. “Assimilate, assimilate, assimilate,” he said to no one in particular.
The end.
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Mall Land